#heartbroke

I don’t even care anymore. Whatever

Am I actually wrong? Did I missread everything? Truth be told, it could be. But at this point there is no reason to continue. And honestly apparently "this" wasn't even a relationship to them. What we were doing then? Friends with benefits that are really friends? It doesn't make sense. Once again I'm hurt and yet I can't really feel it because I'm dissociating myself from my emotions to not feel the sorrow and the pain. When it will hit me tho it will hit me very hard. Can't wait to talk to my psico....

How can one day change your life. It was a cool evening I was at a neighbor's and got a call from my son. His girlfriend need another pair of shoes I had a bad feeling and should of stayed home. I had a loud muffler and had a bad feeling about going anywhere. A cop two cars ahead of us turned around and got me on my muffler. He searched my car like he was going to find hard drugs. But to my surprise he found a bottle of pills. Not in my name it was Hydroxyzine benadryl he didn't charge me with them. The cop says I'm not going to charge you right now I will be back in a few months to charge you. Yep 3 months sitting home knock on my door and a state cop here to arrest me for a narcotics charge it's not a narcotic or a controlled substance it's benadryl. They put me in jail and at arranment the Judge says we want you to submit drug test and we will see you in here again for this pill. Well for one I don't take pills they were in my car I took them for anxiety only and I forgot they were in the console they were expired three weeks and stop said I was only wasting resources I never droped dirty. I only smoke marijuana. When you watch your friend almost die from overdosing on pills he changed three different colors on the way to the hospital. That scared me for life it's been over 20yrs and pills still scare me. But I'm charged with a mistororvmenor for having someone else's prescription. I can't work in the medical field for 5yrs maybe 3 and petition the judge. That's like good time .I have only worked in the medical field it's been 23yrs as a Direct Caregiver and Med tech. My heart is broke and now I'm having trouble with my hands and arms. Life will get better it has to.