#heapass

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Unus: Is a chipmunk microscopic?

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Remus: I'm the ketchup queen!

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Iplier: We learned about the Holocaust freshman year I think.

King: But, did you learn about slavery?

Iplier: Well, slavery's an American thing.

King: The Holocaust was an American thing..

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Patton: Roman, *points at Remus* what's his name?

Roman: ..Remus?

Patton: Logan told me you said you didn't know his name.

Roman: He was yelling at me! Like, "WHATS HIS NAME" and I was like "I-I don't know!"

Janus: Why was Logan yelling at Remus?

Virgil: He was snorting crackers.

Patton: 😦

Janus: 😦

Remus: ..They were Pringles..

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Dark: Don't pack up, you would have to wait there for ten minutes and the only person that stands at the door for ten minutes is Jesus.

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Mike: I wish I was homeless.

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Bim: *To Heapass* You're gonna die how a hamster dies; get stuck in the microwave somehow.

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King: Stop throwing sandwiches at me!

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Dark: *Leaves meeting to grab something*

Green: *Moves to Darks chair*

Oliver: What are you doing?

Green: Shhhhh *slowly holds up crock threateningly*

Oliver: *Holds up both his shoes* Shhh

Green: *Holds up other shoe* Shhhh

Bing: *Gives Oliver his shoe*

Oliver: *Now threateningly holding up three shoes*

Green: Crap! Wilford, gimme your-

Dark: What in the name of-

Green: *Shreaks and drops shoes*

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Remus: I'm an attack helicopter tchwtchw.

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Mad Mike(he/him): ally. Outgoing and good with kids. Older twin brother to Heapass. Constantly smells sweet. Uses his power to keep the Crank House supplied with ADHD meds. Surprisingly very responsible. - Powers: can conjure up both ice cream and any drug.

Heapass(he/him): aro gnc. Talks in third person. Friends with Yancy. The younger twin brother of Mike, later the unofficial younger brother of all the Cranks. Likes watching Mrs T’s animated stories. - Powers: always “knows a guy”.

Mrs Thompson(she/her): ally. Grandmother and parental figure to the Cranks. A part time novel writer. Fingers are always stained with typewriter ink. Enjoys sitting and having morning coffee with Father E - Powers: anything she writes becomes an animation.

Father Ethan(he/him): ally. Originally started as a religious figure, later morphing into a father figure. Is the Dad ego. Keeps the house running with Mrs T and is always willing to listen to the others. - Powers: a calming presence.

Blank(he/they): nonbinary aroace. Depressed anxious glitchy boy. Eyes drip black ink similar to how The Host’s drips blood. In a relationship with Eef. - Powers: can teleport through screens.

Postman(he/him): questioning ally. Is a mailman. Doesn’t live in Crank House. Knows many self defense techniques. Really only talks to Father E and Blank. - Powers: very fast/strong.

Neil Neilson(he/him): unlabeled. Rambles a lot. Runs a radio show. Not altogether there. Loves and shares an apartment with Athiel. - Powers: super jumps.

Unus Mori(he/they/any): agender aroace. Is the embodiment of Death aka The Grim Reaper. His shadow morphs between normal and the classic reaper with a scythe. A goofy guy but can be serious. Chaos besties with Leak. Not usually seen without Annus(QPR? Idk). - Powers: Death

Athiel(Xe/Xem): unlabeled. Alien cousin of Peevles. Loves and shares an apartment with Neil. - Powers: unknown.

Bernice(she/they): demigirl lesbian. “I’m just a California gurl”. Loves Alice. Gamer girl. Older sister of the Cranks. - Powers: none.

Alice Valentine(she/her): trans lesbian. Confident girly. Loves dancing. Loves Bernice. Is the older sister of Gothan. - Powers: entrancing voice.

Gothan(he/him): gnc gay. Younger sibling of Alice. In love with Elliot(e-boy from UA). Goth softy. - Powers: undetermined.

Melon Man(he/it): unlabled (no one knows). Feral lil guy. Rambles a lot. Always smells like watermelons. Follows Challenge McGee around to help and watch. - Powers: strong.

Gongoozler(it/it’s): agender aroace. A siren. Contrary to popular belief, it has legs. It enjoys spending time with Merthan in the pool. Can breath underwater. - Powers: glowing eyes and enchanting voice lure it’s victims.

Merthan(he/him): ace. A merman. Spends most of his time with Gooz. Has an aquarium like room in the house and many water tunnels. - Powers: can talk to sea life.

Maidgameplays(any pronouns): genderfluid pan. Nicknamed May. Takes care of the house. Makes good coffee. Always smells fresh. - Powers: cleans like Mary Poppins.

Security Eef(he/him): pan. Doesn’t need sleep. Runs security. In a relationship with Blank. Very jumpy. - Powers: technokinesis.

Challenge McGee-Allen(he/him): ally. Can and will turn anything into a challenge. Happy to have Mel join him in challenges. - Powers: indestructible.

Yale Nestor(they/them): nonbinary aroace. Y/N, the District Attorney in WKM since Ethan was the cameraman for nearly the entire thing. My OC(?). Friends with Heapass. - Powers: teleports through mirrors.