#head cold

… the worst.

Famous TV Head Colds

Once Had a neighbor who had the most lovely shape. She lived directly across from me - maybe 20 ft away.- with big double paned windows. She Would work out in tight clothes and because we were good friends - she’d always acknowledge my modest - less than creepy attention with a smile and silent hello. You know- innocent flirting without words.

Oh but Then …. She caught a nasty nasty head cold.

The sneezes were insane. Inaudible of course - but I’d see her put a finger under her nose and exaggerate a long breathy build up- the ahh ahhh ahhh choooooo soundless bit obviously a powerful sneeze into her hand. To watch her stumble - red nosed to find a tissue was a joy! She’d see me and tap her red nostril… mouthing “I have a cold” in exaggerated lip movements… fabulous and oh so sexy. She had no idea of course - that her friend was a sneeze blow cold fetish dude - at that time few did. But she still noticed and didn’t mind at all.

Again I never heard any of it—but The noseblowing was incredible. A full prayer style blow from both nostrils with a big gathering of air and a full emptying of her plugged nose. She had a big long nose and the tissue so called “man-sized” enclosed it entirely. Then- a long double nostril wipe- a fold of the snotty tissue and another massive blow into a tiny quarter of the receptical. She’d tap her nose again - seem to close one nostril and grab some Afrin to clear what the blow hadn’t. Then another sneeze after the cool spray hit this inside of her nostril and another blow to clean up.

The hard part was trying not to be so obvious. I had mastered the subtle respectful workout stare. But her cold was mesmerizing. The sneezes silent but deadly to me behind those 4 windows - hers and mine. But the joy was turning the lights out and watching her reaching for a tissue and starting the cavalcade of nasal fun all again.

The next day, I saw her approach the window, completely rednosed tap on her window and ask me to open mine. Of course I did and the request was obvious… Do you happen to have any Kleenex? “I’ve blowd thru bide”. Yes - In the most nasally voice imaginable. Of course I did and gladly shared.

In the ongoing chronicle of hell cold…

It’s now Day five of this absolute monster of a summer cold, and we’ve reached the stage where the mere whisper of a Kleenex against either nostril feels like dragging sandpaper across a sunburn.

I’ve blown through the soft stuff — the Puffs with aloe, the Vicks-infused luxury tissues, the “friendly confines” of civilized nose care. Hankies are out because they’ve all been contaminated by this plague and I do not have the will, strength, or emotional bandwidth to wash them.

So now we enter the emergency phase: soft T-shirts.

Anything — anything — to soften the blow.

Day four of my summer cold, and I’ve officially reached the fascinating “goop phase.”

Still sneezing. Still congested. But the nose-blowing? So Deeply satisfying.

The sound, the movement into the tissue, the sheer volume of yellowish-green mucus — it really makes you marvel at the biology of the human nose. This huge, red, chapped wet monster, filled to the rim with the very substance designed to clear the invasion.

Have you ever had a cold and wondered, “How can one face produce this much snot?” Thats where I am now. Thoroughly preoccupied by my red swollen nose - it’s just taken hold. The tissues I show below are just from last night to this am. I’m at the stage where 3 tissues isn’t enough to empty the thing.

The best part is that, for about five glorious minutes after blowing my nose, I can actually breathe. Then, inevitably, the nose closes for business, I sneeze again, and I’m back to emptying it into whatever clean receptacle I can find.