#hbh

like look!!!! theyre so fucking gay for each other!!! and ik that literally every other character in the show was queer too, but them also being queer doesnt change anythinggg

here r my headcanons for them too --

amerie - bisexual, pref for men

harper - pansexual

ugh theyre just so gay words cant even describe

Spencer White x Reader

Hurt/Comfort

A/N: this is not perfect… honestly it might be trash. You have been warned.

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When people think of secrets, it’s normally associated with something bad; sometimes secrets can be good, necessary even.


Spencer and I’s relationship isn’t a bad secret; it’s really the opposite. It’s soft and kind, comforting in our times of need, and it’s special just for us.


That being said, there are still times where it doesn’t feel good having secrets, for instance, right now overhearing your boyfriend's friend suggest he needs to get laid cause “It’s been too long since he’s got any.”
“Spider, when was the last time you got laid? Dude, are you considered a reborn virgin?” Dusty joked, pushing Spencer’s shoulder. Spencer rolled his eyes. “For your information, it hasn’t been that long, and it’s none of your guys' business,” he sighed. At the same moment our eyes met briefly, a second didn’t go by before he averted his eyes to something/someone else.


I wouldn’t say we lived different lives, but my friends and his don’t interact that often. It would definitely confuse them if Spencer and I started interacting out of the blue.
If it weren’t for us bumping into each other on the beach last year, we probably wouldn’t be as close as we truly are now.


It started small after both of us had a rough night at home; we both had the same idea to go to the ocean to clear our heads. For the first 10 min, it was just silence, nothing but the sound of the waves crashing on the sand and the night air passing through us; neither of us wanted to ruin the peace the ocean brought to us. Until something compelled him to ask me if I was doing okay, that olive branch he lent out to me had me open up more than I ever have to even my closest friends and family. It felt nice to talk to someone who didn’t know much about my situation, about my perfect older sister Allison, whom everyone couldn’t help but compare me to. Spencer ended up telling me about the issues with his mom and how it truly made him feel.
In that moment, it was just Spencer and me.
We talked for hours till the sun peeks through the horizon.


We exchanged numbers after that, and there wasn’t a day that went by that we didn’t talk, text, and even FaceTime. The Relationship we built gave me butterflies. Finally, there was something that was just for him and me; it didn’t need to be compared or critiqued. After a few months, Spencer asked me on a few dates, and that summer we made it official. It was amazing.

Until school started, at first, I was focused on my studies and not so much on making our status known to others. It became normal not to acknowledge each other in the halls or the classes we shared. It’s gotten to the point where I’m scared to talk to him about it, scared he will confirm my suspicions that he doesn’t want to tell anybody ever.


Ant’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts, “Please tell me you finally smashed Allison, dude, you’ve been in love with her since grade school.”
My heart sank to my stomach. I couldn’t avert my eyes from my notebook, knowing that if I did, my eyes would start to water, betraying my nonchalant attitude. I could practically feel Spencer’s eyes burn a hole in the side of my head.
Before I could hear his response, the bell rang, the end-of-the-day signal. I let out a sigh of relief for no longer being trapped in my own personal hell. I moved faster than I have in my life, shoving things in my bag so I can get the fuck out of there. Part of me hoped Spencer would call out for me to wait up, but that never happened. I got in the passenger's side of my sister’s car, waiting for her to hurry up so I could finally sink into bed and let it eat me whole, along with the rest of this day.


My phone buzzed in my back pocket. Part of me knew who it was; the other part was scared it wasn’t him, but for my own sanity, I decided to ignore it. After what felt like forever, my sister finally got in the car, talking about god knows what. I hummed and nodded when necessary, but I wasn’t truly listening. It wasn’t that I hated my sister; it was the opposite, I love her, she was kind and funny and pretty. But when you get compared to Miss Perfect your whole life, you start to have a little resentment towards her.


The rest of the day luckily flew by; it was the weekend, so I didn’t need to put on a brave face for a few more days. I never got around to answering Spencer’s text.

Part of me wanted to wallow for a little longer and not hear the truth about his feelings for my sister. My head was spiraling. Did he just date me cause I was there and my sister wasn’t interested, or was I just a charity case for him to make me feel better about myself? Deep down I knew it wasn’t fully true, but the unknown ended up terrorizing my thoughts.


I was close to falling asleep until a tap on my window jolted me up. My heart jumped, hoping it was who I thought and not a serial killer who’s getting lazy. To my relief and also panic, it was Spencer throwing pebbles at my window. He waved at me to come down. Scared that my parents were going to wake up I reluctantly grabbed my jacket and a pair of slippers and made my way down.


Feeling the breeze of the night air had me pulling my jumper close to my body for some sort of protection. I gave Spencer a small smile, never truly meeting my eyes.


“Hi,” I say quietly, not fully trusting my voice.
“Hey, I didn’t hear from you, and I got a bit worried,” he said, running his hand through his hair, something he does when he’s anxious.
My heart thumped a little harder against my chest as I heard his voice. “Oh yeah, sorry it’s been kinda a long day,” I said quickly, feeling horrible knowing I’m not telling him the full story. He looks at me, his eyes never leaving mine; it’s like he’s analyzing me or my response. I shift from one foot to another.


He breaks the silence with a small sigh, “Please talk to me.” he steps closer into my bubble, pushing a strand of hair that falls in front of my face. I can’t help but look down at my feet, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me and my insecurities whole.

He lifts my chin to meet my eyes “Was it about what Ant said? You know they say stupid shit all the time” now it’s my turn to sigh “a little bit, not fully. I mean it didn’t feel good hearing you have a crush on my sister..”

before I could say more he interrupts me “I don’t have a crush on her, at least not anymore. I’m going to be honest, in grade school, everyone just assumed I liked her because they saw us talking at lunch. The whole thing got blown out of proportion. All I was asking her was where she got her sparkly gel, pens. I just went along with the whole crush thing because it was easier to explain to my friends” he joked, rubbing the back of his neck. I chuckled lightly hearing his explanation knowing his words were meant to ease my anxiety, but part of me was still anxious. I continued my original thought, “that was only part of the issue, I thought I would be fine with our 'arrangement' in keeping us a secret. Still, I’m finding it harder to feel okay that we live different lives and no one knows what we mean to each other, and hearing Dusty and Ant earlier, sparked more insecurity in me than ever.” I finished letting out the weight that’s been holding me down since school started.

But that feeling of relief didn’t last for long; a new fear sparked inside of me waiting for Spencer’s response. I finally lifted my eyes to meet his. What looked like confusion ran through them. He let out a puff of air that sounds like relief, “You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.”

Now I’m the confused one, “ I don’t want us to be a secret, I never did. If I had it my way, the whole school would know you are mine and only mine.”

My heart thumped hearing his words, “How come you never said anything?” I said quietly
“I was going to, but after the first week, when we didn’t talk in school, I was under the impression that this is what you wanted. I never want to pressure you into something you aren’t ready for. If you wanted us to just be for us, then I was happy with that. I will take whatever you are willing to give me cause I love you.”

Hearing his confession brought tears to my eyes. “You love me?” I say in a hopeful shy tone. Spencer nodded, caressing my cheek with his thumb. “I’ve been in love with you since the first time I saw you in grade school, you were arguing with Anthony about talking with his mouth full,” he chuckled before continuing. “At that moment, I knew this firecracker of a girl who is standing right in front of me was the one who truly stole my heart. I’m sorry I ever made you doubt yourself or me.”

I shook my head, not wanting him to apologize. “No, I should’ve said how I was feeling and trusted you with it.” I sniffle, not fully sure when the tears started to run down my face, I pressed my hand against his, leaning into his touch. “I am truly madly and deeply in love with you, Spencer White.”


Spencer brought his face to mine, sealing our declaration with a slow and passionate kiss. It felt like I was on Cloud 9. Spencer pulled away before it could escalate, “Dusty is throwing a house party tomorrow, I want you to come to it with me.” he looked so hopeful, waiting for my response. I’d be stupid to refuse, “Okay, I’ll come,” I said with a nod, pulling him down to meet my lips again in confirmation.

Secrets aren’t always bad; sometimes they are necessary, even. But god am I glad to not be a secret with Spencer anymore.

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A/N: guys I’m so sorry it’s so bad… when I tell you it’s been YEARS since I’ve written anything. 😔 I’m very rusty

But I’ve been yearning for a bit of Spider so I just had to get it out of my system

now they’re ACTUALLY waving at each other!!!!

please do not zoom in i beg of you it looks sooooooo fucked up close oh my god you have no idea how difficult this was, i still don’t think charlie’s eyes look perfect istg /lh