#hb59

Legislation: Florida: HB 59 - Offenses Against Unborn Children

General Bill by Ahern (CO-SPONSORS) Baxley; Spano

Offenses Against Unborn Children: Creates "Florida Unborn Victims of Violence Act"; provides rule of construction that person who engages in conduct that violates Florida Criminal Code or criminal offense defined by another statute & causes death of, or bodily injury to unborn child commits separate offense if such offense is not specifically provided for; provides for penalties; specifies that certain types of knowledge or intent are not necessary for such offense; provides exceptions; revises definitions & terminology.

Laubenturd,

         I'm lucky to be young, but unfortunately that means I wasn't alive during a time when the GOP was...are you ready?... PRO-CHOICE. 

         DO you ever watch Steve Kornacki's show on MSNBC? It's good. I know MSNBC is probably labeled 'THE SATAN SCIENCE CHANNEL" in your guide menu, but you should unblock it and give it a chance. He recently did a segment regarding the pro-choice GOP prior to 1980, when Reagan turned things in a different direction. Two pro-choice republicans sat on his panel and did a good job of being sane, and remembering what they're party is supposed to be about. Remember when you people actually meant what you said about the government not intruding on people's lives and you didn't force though abortion restrictions affecting millions of women? And Jodie, what kind of morons claim to be pro-life and want to do everything in their power to stop abortion, but simultaneously decide they are also against family planning? You know as well as everyone else that this bill was about limiting access to abortion by closing the clinics and almost nothing to do with 20 weeks.

    Although now that you've restricted it to that time limit, the 1.5 percent of women who have to terminate after 20 weeks will be in grave danger seeing as how these are crisis pregnancies and not 'well I just wanted to see what it'd be like to be pregnant for 20 weeks' pregnancies. I wonder if you understand how many deaths of women will be directly your fault. You've either pushed it out of your mind, or you are too stupid to understand. I honestly can't tell which. If this were actually about women's health, you'd be opening more clinics instead of closing them. If you were actually pro-life, you wouldn't be further endangering the women who need to save their lives after difficult pregnancies or god forbid, brutal rapes or incest. How dare you claim to be pro-life. You are everything but. 

   I don't really believe in heaven or hell, but if they do exist I hope you're escorted to Satan's toilet to be shit on and flushed for all eternity for the deaths you'll cause of innocent women. I'd like to hear how your ignorant rape comments echo from the inside of a never-cleaned toilet bowl. 

 Happy Sunday,

Dear Rape-kits McGee,

     I tried finding out why you were able to run unopposed for three elections in a row, but it’s as if you never existed on the internet before you said that out-fucking-rageous thing about rape kits. You’re in the spotlight for being the most ignorant person in lawmaking. You must feel so special.

    Anyway, I’m not done doing my own little investigation on you. Someone with your lack of knowledge and your pure carelessness regarding anything important, MUST have made some giants oppsies along the way. I can’t wait to find them all and tell you how I feel about all of them. I know you Texas republicans are really good at trying to redistrict before elections, eliminating districts with democratic representatives. I’d love to know how people were ok with a violently ignorant person such as yourself running unopposed. I find it very hard to believe that no one thought they had better ideas than you. My inbred dog who could win the fart olympics and rolls around in her food before she eats it has better ideas than you. 

  That’s it for today Jodie. Enjoy your weekend! I’m sure you’re personally taking a sledgehammer to your local women’s clinics and building tiny prisons around every uterus you can find. 

Bye bye,

Jodie Poopypants,

      I'll show you this excerpt from ThinkProgress.org's little feature on you and then go over some things with you. Okay?

    " She accused Texas’ budget board of using “government math” when it pointed out that cutting family planning funds would lead to more unplanned births.

In 2011, when the Texas legislature approved deep cuts to family planning programs, the state’s Legislative Budget Board warned lawmakers that decision would have some financial consequences. The government estimated that funding affordable contraception would save Texas $80 million in its next two-year budget because fewer babies would be born to low-income women enrolled in Medicaid (a health outcome that the Health Department regularly measures). “We’re going to save on the non-babies that are being born? We’re going to prevent baby births?” Laubenberg responded. “This has got to be government math.” "

     Government math, huh? On the long list of things you don't understand, it's not surprising that math is high up on that list. I'll explain this the best I can for you. When you don't have to pay for medical expenses of "baby births", you save money. You didn't have to so spend it, so you saved it. See? And Jodie I'll tell you what, the fun thing about math is that it's always the same, unless you're making it up. Math has solid equations and formulas so that the answer is fact. It's proven. IT'S MATH. Numbers don't lie, but politicians(espcecially conservative ones in areas of science and math) do. I'd like to know if your elementary school teachers are still alive so I can ask them what exact type of acid they were experimenting with when they delivered your education to you. You shouldn't be okay with being violently ignorant, Jodie. You should be mad and then decide education actually is something worth investing in, instead of voting against it. 

    That was today's math lesson.

Do some worksheets,

J-Laub,

        HOOOOOOLLLLLLEEEYYYYY SHIIITTTTTT! This whole time I've been writing to you I've always wondered, how in this science-ridden universe did someone with Jodie Laubenberg's speaking skills ever get elected to public office? How could that be?  Well, now I know how it be, YOU RAN UNOPPOSED! I still need the details of how this could have happened and I will address them in tomorrow's letter to you, but Jeez Louise it all makes sense now! You have zero debating skills and even speaking about your own bill you were sponsoring was too difficult for you. Hegar is an idiot and he still spoke about a ten thousand miles better than you ever have about anything. 

       You know who you remind me of Jodie? In elementary school there would always be a kid who didn't like speaking in front of the class, but would have to read his/her book report anyway. They look uncomfortable, have a low monotone speaking voice, stumble over words out of nervousness, and take awkward pauses where there should be none. This is you, this is your public speaking. Lots of people hate public speaking because it just isn't their thing and makes them nervous, SO YOU KNOW WHAT JOB THEY DON'T TAKE? OH THAT'S RIGHT, ELECTED PUBLIC OFFICIAL. You belong in a Hallmark store as seasonal help, not making damaging health decisions for millions of women who will now have to suffer through your ignorance and flat out stupidity. 

      I learned something else about the way you debate. I just watched a video where, like a toddler that the state of Texas doesn't care about after it's out of the womb, you screamed at another representative. Rafeal Anchia informed you of how many children would be left without healthcare with your amendment (95,000) and you full on tantrum-screamed and possibly shit yourself with misguided anger. Can you not debate like an adult? You're an elected official and its YOUR JOB to be able to debate without either screaming at your opposer or shutting down completely. 

     Anyway, I'll have more words to throw at you about some of these topics tomorrow. For now I'll just leave you with the reassurance that there's no way in Satan's honeymoon suite of hell that you'll ever run unopposed again. You're going to have to run against people with *gasp* FACTS, SCIENCE, AND EDUCATION. OH MY!

 Seriously, good fucking luck out there,

http://www.legis.state.tx.us/BillLookup/History.aspx?LegSess=832&Bill=HB59

Guys. This bill would outlaw abortions "after detection of a fetal heartbeat".

You can detect a heartbeat on an ultrasound at EIGHT WEEKS.

Most women do not discover they are pregnant until well after eight weeks. This would OUTLAW ABORTIONS COMPLETELY in the state of Texas.