#hazelnoot

The house was warm, the Dumais house always was, especially around the holidays. Right now it was full to the brim with hockey players and family. Sirius could hear the faint laughter pouring through the walls. He missed this. The ability to live with no pressure, to just be. It hit him over dinner while Logan was making him laugh so hard he could barely breathe, he was so happy. 

It was a bit overwhelming, scary even. He let himself wander away a bit, climbing the stairs.  Sirius looked at the picture frames hung along the hallway as he walked through the second floor. Endless photos of the Dumais children and their parents in various poses were sprawled across the walls, creating a very eclectic collage. Sirius chuckled to himself at one where Katie looked to be about three and was wearing five different costumes at once with Tinkerbell sunglasses to match. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his own face and looked closer. It was a photo of him and Remus, a photo that Sirius was pretty sure that neither of them knew was taken. Remus was sitting in his stall while Sirius leaned against its wall and they both were looking at each other with enamored smiles. Sirius flushed a bit as he giddy feeling zinged down his spine. So much has changed in so little time.  He never thought he would be able to have-

A hand shot out of a doorway and dragged him inside. Sirius’s back hit the door after it closed and Remus’s mouth was instantly on his. Sirius hummed happily after the initial shock melted away and cradled the back of Remus’s head. 

“You know you don't have to do this anymore, we’re engaged you could have just asked” Sirius chuckled, sliding his hand down to cup the back of Remus’s neck. 

Remus glared playfully at Sirius. “Someone has to keep you on your toes, Captain. This is way more exciting.” 

“Not that I’m complaining, but you dragged me into this room just so we could make out like some horny teenagers?” 

“....I may have had some ulterior motives.”

“Oh?” 

“I wanted to give you your Christmas present.” Remus stepped away from Sirius and sat on the bed inside the room. It was then that Sirius realized what room they were in. His face broke into a sly grin. 

“Does this gift involve you naked and or in my jersey again?”

“No, but it could involve me in Logan’s t-shirt again if you’re not careful.” Sirius’s smile instantly dropped from his face. Remus laughed. 

Remus patted beside him on the bed. “Come here, sit.” 

“Yes, captain.” 

Remus playfully rolled his eyes. Sirius sat down and Remus took his hand. 

He was silent for a moment before saying, “I love you, endlessly. I never thought I could have you and I am so thankful that I am able to every day. I know I’m kinda late to this but I could not live with myself if I didn’t do this so…” Remus pulled a small black box out of his pocket and flipped it open. Inside was a half gold half silver ring with the words mon étoile engraved on the inside. 

Remus gave a small, shy smile. “Marry me?” 

Sirius’s eyes welled up with tears. “ I- But we’re already engaged?” 

Remus gave a small shrug. “You deserve to be proposed to too.” A cheeky smile spread across his face. “Plus I had to one up you.”

Sirius let out a watery laugh. “Oui, oui. Mon dieu, oui.” 

“Oh, he will, he always does. You’ll see.”

“Oh, I’m sure he will, but I’d say we have, eh, maybe three minutes before Reg barges in for Christmas morning snuggles. It’s tradition.”

“Yeah?” Remus asked though a smile.

“Oui. He gets up at sunrise and I told him if he ever woke me up that early again, I’d shove him right off the bed. I bet he bursts in here before Jules.”

“Okay, I’ll take tha-” Remus’ words died in him mouth as there was a shuffling outside their door before the door slowly opened and Regulus creeped in.

“Oh good, your up!” Regulus said, making his way over to the bed. “See I waited until almost 7! Sun’s up, you can’t kick me off the bed this year.” Regulus stated, laying down behind an amused Sirius and wrapping his arms around his older brother, nuzzling in between his shoulder blades.

“Wh- are you comfy?” Sirius asked, smiling still, and trying to look back at Regulus.

“Mhm.” Regulus lets out a happy hum.

Remus made a disgruntled noise from the other side of Sirius. “What about my cuddles? I don’t get cuddles from my best friend of Christmas?” His pout could be heard in his voice.

“No no no.” Regulus rushed out. “I mean yes. You can have cuddles too!” Regulus said, climbing his way over Sirius, who grunted as a slightly-smaller-than-him hockey player finagled himself between the two older men. “Viens ici.” Regulus said, gathering Remus against his chest and placing a soft kiss into his curls. “There ya go, how’s that?”

“Perfect.” Remus said into Regulus’ shirt.

Sirius made an indignant noise beside them as the door opened again.

“Cuddle puddle?!” Jules said excitedly before launching himself on the bed, landing between Sirius and Regulus.

“Come here little buddy, since my brother stole your brother, you’re stuck with me.” Sirius said, maneuvering to himself to hug Jules, pulling the smaller boy first on top of him then shifting to put him down on his left side, so he was back-to-back with his own brother as Jules giggled in his hold.

“Come on!” Jules called out, “It’s CHRISTMAS! We gotta go downstairs and do PRESENTS!”

“Oui! I second that!” Regulus declared, starting to untangle himself from Remus to sit up. “It’s Christmas and time for presents and family and breakfast, I am starving.”

“Yeah! Can we do Christmas pancakes?” Jules wiggled out of Sirius’ hold and rolled off the bed, jumping up and dashing to the door. “I’ll make Regulususes pancakes! He’s gotta have the best ones for his first Lupin Christmas with us!” Jules stated, taking off down the hallways and bounding down the stairs to the kitchen.

“What’s… Christmas pancakes? Should I be afraid?” Regulus look down at Remus, who chuckled.

“No. They just have red and green food coloring. Very festive. We do it every Christmas.”

“You know you can add food coloring any time of the year, right?” Sirius said from Regulus’ other side.

“Yeah, but it’s better this way!” Regulus said. “Makes them special. Now come on, I’m pretty sure that kid should not be left unattended in the kitchen.” Regulus smirked, shifting to start scooching down the bed. He made it a foot before Sirius and Remus made eye contact behind him and then he was surrounded by two sets of arms pulling him down for a cuddle.

“Can’t leave without snuggling me, it our tradition, mon petit frere.”

Regulus just rolled his eyes and conceded, letting himself be surrounded by the other two for a few moments before Remus spoke up.

“You aren’t wrong, though. Jules probably should be supervised down there.”

There was a moment of stillness before three hockey men scrambled out of covers and off the bed to race down the stairs.

***

After Breakfast had been made without incident and brought to Hope and Lyall, they had all piled on the bed while they ate. As soon as Hope finished her last bite, Jules nearly vibrated himself off the bed and started to usher everyone downstairs, grabbing Regulus by the hand and practically dragging him along, leaving the older brothers to collect the dishes to be brought down to the kitchen and deposited them in the sink.

“Reg, you wanna be Santa’s helper with me?” Jules asked excitedly.

Regulus smiled down at him. “I have no idea what that means but sure. What do I have to do to help the big guy out?”

“We gotta help hand out all the presents under the tree. And make sure everyone gets one at the same time. And, like, we have to open ours last, but it’s because we’re helping. So, it’s okay.” Jules explained as everyone settled into the living room, Hope and Lyall on the couch and Remus plopping down in the recliner and tucking his feet under him, Sirius sitting on the floor leaning back against the chair in front of his boyfriend.

“Okay Jules. Let’s get this show on the road bud.” Lyall said.

Jules grabbed a present in each hand and passed them out to Sirius and Lyall, so Regulus looked around to find one for Hope and then grabbing the one he knew was for Remus because, well, he had wrapped it. Rather poorly, at that, but he figured since it would be ripped off, it wouldn’t much matter.

Regulus handed Hope her present before making his way over to Remus and hesitating before handing Remus the package. “This one’s from me.” He said sheepishly, giving a half smile.

“Then I’m going to love it.” Remus reassured him, keeping eye contact for a moment to cement the fact that he meant it.

“It’s, well, I know you have them. I mean, not these exact ones. But you like them, so I thought…” Regulus rambled on nervously. “I thought maybe? You’d like them?”

“Extended additions?! I’ve been looking for these for ages! Reg!”

“Yeah? You like them?” A full smile lit up his face.

Remus could barely contain his excitement, beaming up at Regulus. “I love. It’s perfect! We can watch them later, yeah? I know you’ll like them; we’ll have another R and R marathon weekend!?”

“Yes.” Regulus laughed in relief, still trying to believe that Remus was this thrilled over the Lord of the Rings dvds. “That’d be good.”

“Do I get to join?” Sirius piped up from his spot on the floor.

“Baby, you will not be able to sit still for a four-hour movie, much less three of them.” Remus chuckled.

“Also,” Regulus interjected, “You don’t have an R name. We’re cooler.”

“Fine, then Jules and I will have our own marathon, right Jules?”

“Yeah.” Jules said, a little breathless from running over to the sound of his name. “We can watch. Um. The ones. With the pirates!”

“Pirates of the Caribbean? Oui, that sounds perfect.” Sirius agreed.

“Sweet!” Jules declared before dragging Regulus off to grab more presents from under the tree.

It was eleven at night on a Friday and Remus was sitting in a hospital waiting room, counting the specks on the tiles and bouncing his leg to a nervous beat. His hair, still wet from his post game shower occasionally dripped on the floor, haloing his shadow. Hospital rooms never got easier, he got better at coping, but they still never got easier. The sounds and smells are all too familiar to forget. Remus kept rubbing his thumb over the face of his watch, a gentle reminder of the time that had passed and the reason he was here this time. Sirius. Sirius, who got hit in just the wrong place during tonight's game. Sirius, who right now is in the room with the doctor getting his shoulder reset. 

“Mr. Lupin, right?” a man in a white coat asked, furtively scribbling a couple of notes on his clipboard before holding his hand out for a handshake. 

Remus snapped his head up and wiped his hands on his pants before standing and taking the doctor's hand. “Yes. How is he?” 

“He’s completely fine, nothing torn, fairly minor dislocation, he should be good in a couple of weeks.” The doctor gave a warm, reassuring smile, his eyes crinkling at the sides. “You can go in now if you like, but just so you know he is on some painkillers that make him a bit loopy and we had to give him laughing gas in order to reset his shoulder. The laughing gas should wear off in about thirty minutes after it does, we just want to do one more check on him and then you guys are good to go.” 

Remus let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. “Thank you so much doctor.” He smiled at the man and then headed towards the room that Sirius was in. He stopped with his hand on the handle of the door listening to the muffled babbling Sirius was directing towards the nurse taking his vitals. It was half in French, half in English and completely, utterly intelligible. Remus felt his chest loosen from the worry that had been constricting his lungs for the better part of an hour. The corners of his mouth turned up at the edges while he pushed the door open. Sirius noticed him immediately, stopping his current sentence in its tracks as a slow, dopey smile spread across his face. His unfocused eyes dragged over every inch of Remus almost in reverie. 

“Hi.” Remus held the door open for the nurse as she left and then walked over to the side of the bed. He reached out his hand to brush sweaty curls out of Sirius’s face. “How are you feeling?” 

Sirius looked at Remus up and down again, a blush rose to his cheeks. “You're still wearing your suit.” He slurred as he blinked slowly up at Remus. 

Remus paused, his hand freezing between locks of Sirius’s hair. He teasingly squinted his eyes before tilting his head slightly. “Are you flirting with me?”  

Sirius immediately burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. Remus chuckled along as he pulled a chair closer to Sirius's bedside and took hold of Sirius’s hand that wasn't in a sling. “But really, how are you feeling?” 

Sirius scoffed, still smiling. “Je me sens bien! Never felt better. I’m completely and totally myself” Sirius said as if it was obvious. 

Remus grinned, shaking his head slightly. “Jeez, you really are loopy.” 

Sirius broke into a dopey, sickly in love grin. “Jeez” he hummed fondly. “Wait-” Sirius eyebrows scrunched together in confused recognition. His eyes darting all over Remus’s face searching for an answer that was on the tip of his tongue before his face lit up. “Oh!” He pointed at Remus with a mischievous grin. “Loop-” 

Remus covered his mouth with his hand, fondly shushing him through chuckles while shaking his head. “I can’t believe you're making puns after dislocating your shoulder.” Remus picked up the pitcher on the table and poured water into a small dixie cup while eyeing the pretzels they left for Sirius in a small styrofoam bowl. “Here, you should really eat and drink something. It’ll help make the loopiness wear off faster. The doctor said we can’t leave until it wears off- what?” 

All joking and mischief had completely gone from Sirius's face. He was looking at Remus intently. His face inching towards Remus’s, mouth slightly agape in awe, as he brought his uninjured hand to softly caress Remus's cheek with the back of his knuckles. “Your eyes. Your eyes. Holy shit, mon dieu.” 

Remus held Sirius’s wrist as he caressed his cheek. Sirius’s thumb gently dragged across the tips of his eyelashes. “What about my eyes?” 

“They're beautiful. You’re beautiful. Do I tell you how beautiful your eyes are enough? I should tell you more. Mon loup, The color it’s…..I don't know the word in English, they're like caramel baby, caramel.” 

“Caramel? Like the candy?” 

“Oui. What's it called in English?” 

Remus let out a small, quiet laugh. “It’s called the same thing in English love.”

“Oh” Sirius said simply, resting his forehead against Remus’s, bumping their noses together. Sirius looked into Remus’s eyes for a couple seconds before meeting his lips in a soft, slow kiss. When he pulled back a faint blush had risen to his cheeks and his eyes were soft. “Je t’aime” he said, like it was the most wonderful thing in the world. 

Remus supposed it was. “I love you too.” 

“Marry me?” 

Remus bit his lip as he started to smile. “You already asked me that one.”

“No, I mean marry me again.”

“Sirius, we haven't even had our first wedding yet” Remus giggled, shaking his head in a fond disbelief, reaching up to cup Sirius’s cheek. 

Sirius shrugged with his good shoulder. “I know, but I already want to get married to you again. Marry me again?” Sirius caressed Remus’s wrist thumbing over the smooth face of his watch. 

Remus smiled. Things had changed. He wasn’t eighteen. The hospital room walls weren't trying to swallow him up anymore. The blue of the curtains didn't make him sick. The beeping of machines did not reverberate off the walls of his ribcage. The corners of his life were no longer dark. Light emanated from where Sirius lay outwards. It was eleven at night, pitch black outside, and yet the sun was still bursting through the windows. The future was still unknown, but this time he wasn't scared.