#hating school

people joke a lot about hating school and i think someone will say "oh ya i hated school to" or something similar

I didn't just hate school i had my boundaries disrespected by teachers and i had teachers threatening me and no one understanding my behaviour

people thought me being "rude" was on purpose when it was me in fight or flight trying to survive

i couldn't communicate what was wrong or why i was upset and i didn't trust teachers to be upset with or do anything to help

my whole experience taught me that teachers are unsafe to be with and being in the same room with them means danger

they never stopped people from bullying me and i have had multiple teachers be worse bullys than the kids

i have blocked out a lot of school because its simply to much for my brain to handle

as a result i have school words that instantly trigger me I can't talk to people about school especially if its about something negative and i cant watch most films that have bullying and especially teachers being the issue

because of my school experience i have nightmares panic attacks and symptoms of PTSD

i do not just "hate school" the thought of going makes me panic and feel violently sick

it was actually hard to write this but i think people need to know that for some people school can be absolutely traumatising which most people take as a joke

add on: i spent most of my time in school having panic attacks in the bathrooms while texting/calling my mum to pick me up because i couldn't do it anymore. i shouldn't feel the need to validate my trauma but because i feel its something unusual people will not understand or take seriously i do