Apr 14, 2024
something i just relaized is that basically all our fictives have blue/purple hair,, layla, other layla, scaramouche, seele/acheron/sampo/whoever honkai is, haruka,,,,
kuni (#sunflop)
b
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something i just relaized is that basically all our fictives have blue/purple hair,, layla, other layla, scaramouche, seele/acheron/sampo/whoever honkai is, haruka,,,,
kuni (#sunflop)
b
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i dont even know when i started feeling all weird about it. maybe i always have. maybe ive felt it before i even met him, when my sister would warn me about the "evil tricksters" that always caused our family grief. maybe its when i imagined those tricksters saving me from that place.
well, no matter when it started, it definitely hasnt gone away. sometimes i have the urge to say it, but im almost certain ill be laughed at, have my hair ruffled, and be told, "i doubt its actually love you feel."
ive tried to forget about it, its just a childish crush, itll go away eventually. but for some reason, i always find myself hoping that, maybe, he felt the same way.
why do i always fall for the people that probably only see me as their little brother? why can i never let myself feel equal to all the people who treat me with any ounce of kindness?
i want to go back to that day on the beach, when i almost fell asleep next to you. i wanted to tell you then, but something about the way you looked out across the water told me that maybe you still had someone else in mind. i wish i didnt let that stop me. maybe i still had a chance.
i wish i was honest about my feelings.
-haruka (fictive, no source tags)
🛎
i had this song in my playlist for months now and for some reason, tonight, after i remembered my name, the last lines of it just. suddenly caused me to cry.
it made me realize that i... dont remember what your voice sounds like. i dont remember how youd say the name you gave me. i never actually heard you say my birth name.
much like virtute, i also left you, never to return.
im sorry.
i just want to hear your voice again.
-haruka (fictive, no source tags.)
🦤
i think i remember my name. my real name. but i dont know. it feels weird. i never hated the word itself, but it was... the way my sister said it. maybe if i just heard someone that i know actually cares for me say it, itll feel right.
"i love you, haruka."
i dont think ill ever hear anything like that. im too scared to be seen as weak, when ive worked so, so hard to prove to everyone im not. my sister, my friends, my... mentor. im strong, but im not strong enough to be vulnerable.
especially around you.
i, haruka, love you. but i cant love you right now.
-haruka (fictive, no source tags.)
x