#harry june

when meixing squinted her eyes open the following morning, pale sunlight was already filtering through the curtains and spilling across the floor in soft golden streaks. 

jiahao was nowhere to be seen. his side of the room was perfectly tidy; his bed made and clothes neatly arranged in his closet. it was as if he’d never been there at all.

meixing frowned as she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. the hope of being able to speak to him before practice died in her chest, leaving behind a dull ache of disappointment. however, the small spark of sadness faded when she turned her head and saw a blueberry muffin and glass of apple juice on her side of the bedside table.

even with last night's almost kiss hanging above their heads, he still thought about her. he still cared, and he didn’t want things to be weird between them.

a soft smile grew on meixing’s face as she took the breakfast he left for her into her hands. warmth spread through her chest despite the coldness of the dorm. she gently set the napkin resting underneath the muffin onto her lap and her eyes caught on a small heart on the corner. it was a little shiny against the white of the napkin, signaling to her that jiahao had drawn it on with one of the glitter gel pens she left lying around.

the sight of it made her smile widen. something so small shouldn't have affected her this much, yet she found herself staring at it for several seconds, imagining him standing there that morning carefully drawing it before leaving.

she ate quickly, occasionally brushing her thumb over the ink on the napkin, her heart stuttering in her chest the more she looked at it. the muffin tasted sweeter than it probably was, and every glance at the tiny heart made warmth bloom through her all over again.

when she was done, she couldn’t bear to throw the napkin away, so she put it back on the nightstand where she could see it, it still being in pristine condition since she didn’t need to use it.

after casting one last glance at it, she got up and gathered her clothes to get ready for the days practice. her black all star shirt sat heavily in her hands as she moved into the bathroom; the last training shirt she’d wear during the competition. the realization settled over her shoulders, bringing with it a bittersweet feeling she couldn't quite shake.

she brushed her teeth, showered, got dressed, and did her skincare routine fairly quickly, opting to not wear any makeup.

she let her hair air dry to it's wavy state and she carefully braided a couple pieces around her face, adding in some silver hair clips to make it a little more fun. by the time she was done, the waves framed her face softly, the clips catching the light whenever she moved.

when meixing exited the bathroom, her pajamas in hand, she was too busy adjusting her shirt to notice the figure standing by his closet fixing his own shirt on his shoulders. the room was quiet except for the faint rustling of fabric and the distant sounds of people moving through the hallway.

meixing carelessly threw her clothes onto the floor on her side of the room to be washed later. midthrow, she looked up and her eyes caught on jiahao, causing her to momentarily freeze.

for a second, neither of them moved.

“hey.” meixing spoke first, her eyes subconsciously scanning him.

jiahao’s eyes were doing the same thing, lingering for a moment before only her voice could snap him out of it. “hey.” he said back, somewhat shy.

an awkward silence settled between them, neither uncomfortable nor easy. it simply existed, lingering in the space left behind by everything that had almost happened the night before.

meixing fidgeted with the rings on her fingers, twisting one absentmindedly around and around. “thanks for the…” she trailed off, gesturing towards where he’d left the food for her.

“no problem.” he said quickly, his cheeks warming almost instantly.

when he came back into the room earlier and saw that she’d eaten what he got for her but kept the napkin he’d drawn on, he couldn’t stop the smile from growing. the sight of it sitting carefully on her nightstand made something flutter in his chest, and he'd spent an embarrassing amount of time thinking about it afterward.

jiahao bit his lip, looking like he was contemplating saying something else to her. his fingers twitched at his sides and his gaze briefly flickered away before returning to her face, but he didn’t get the chance to speak because a loud knock sounded on their door.

“mei-jie! hao-ge! let’s go!” xinlong’s voice could be heard on the other side, followed by his retreating footsteps echoing down the hallway.

meixing gave jiahao one last glance before she bent down to slip her shoes on, her face hidden from his view. a few loose strands of hair fell forward as she focused intently on tying them.

“at least he knows how to knock.” jiahao mumbled to himself as he put his own shoes on, not expecting meixing to hear him.

however, she did and she stole a look up at him, a small smirk playing on her lips at his words.

“i know, right?” she couldn’t help but tease as she stood up, jiahao following right after with a quickening heart. “you ready?”

she received a nod from him in response, so she moved to the door only to pause when a hand touched her shoulder as she gripped the door handle.

“mei, wait.” jiahao said softly, making meixing turn and look up at him in slight wonder.

whatever he was going to say refused to come out as she looked at him with her big eyes, almost expectant. his heart stumbled over itself. for a brief second, the rest of the world seemed to fade into the background, leaving only the two of them standing in the quiet room. he pushed the thought down, too nervous, thinking it wasn’t the right time.

instead, he pointed to her hair. “cute.” he said simply and reached around her to open the door for her with a cheeky grin.

meixing raised an eyebrow but couldn’t fight back a bashful laugh. warmth crept onto her face as she instinctively reached up to touch one of the hair clips.

“you’re a dork.” she murmured, lightly pushing his shoulder and exiting their room, him following right on her heels.

the two of them made their way to their new practice room, eventually meeting up with the rest of their team so they’d enter all together like the producers wanted them to. the closer they got, the louder the sounds of the other contestants became, excited chatter and laughter filling the hallways as everyone prepared for training.

“our last studio…” junseo trailed off as he entered first, his eyes scanning over the bright room. the large boys2planet logo on the wall reflected back in the mirror across from them, making the space feel smaller than it actually was.

meixing crossed her arms as she entered behind liyu, a sense of sadness washing over her that in only two weeks, this will all be over. some of them would be moving on together, while the rest would go their separate ways. the thought settled heavily in her chest as she looked around the room they would spend their final days practicing in.

“what’s this?” sanghyeon said, grabbing meixing’s attention as he pointed at a red doll peeking over the top of the brat attitude sign.

“is this our team’s mascot?” junseo asked lightly.

meixing looked closer at the doll and noticed the small tooth it had sticking out from its mouth.

“it looks like anxinie.” she grinned.

behind her, she could hear jiahao, xinlong, and kaiwen snickering at her statement, all of them silently agreeing. xinlong's laugh was especially loud before he quickly tried to hide it behind his hand.

“should we give it a cute name?” junseo asked, looking at the seven of them.

he received hums of agreement and they all stood around, trying to come up with a name for the doll. suggestions were thrown around halfheartedly, most of them earning groans or laughter. meixing thought it over, her eyes catching on the sign it was resting on before speaking.

“since we’re brat attitude…atti?” she suggested, pointing towards the sign.

in response, they all nodded, repeating the name after her and deeming it a good fit for their little mascot.

“let’s go with atti.” donggyu said, reaching over to gently pat the doll on the head before turning around to sit on the ground in front of the cameras in the room.

they all followed after him, meixing settling down on his right while kaiwen quickly slid in next to her, unknowingly beating jiahao for the spot, earning himself a small glare at the back of his head that nobody caught.

jiahao stared at him for a moment before reluctantly taking the empty spot on his other side, trying to convince himself that it wasn't a big deal.

“should we elect a leader?” donggyu asked once everyone was sitting.

junseo was the only one to respond. “sounds good.”

everyone looked around awkwardly, waiting for someone to volunteer. the room that had been full of chatter only moments ago suddenly fell quiet.

meixing’s mind screamed at her to speak up and volunteer. even though she hadn’t wanted to be the leader during the last mission, she found that she actually enjoyed doing it, and was somewhat good at it as well.

still, doubt lingered in the back of her mind. her fingers fiddled with one of the rings on her hand as she glanced around at her teammates. this was the final mission. the last chance to prove themselves before everything changed. the weight of that reality sat heavily on her shoulders as she debated whether or not to raise her hand.

just before meixing was able to raise her hand, xinlong spoke up, beating her to it.

“i nominate myself.” he said, shyly gesturing to himself. despite the confidence in his words, his ears had already begun turning pink. “we’re at the finale now. if there’s something i’ve yet to do, it’s being a leader.”

meixing nodded along to his words, internally feeling bad for knowing she’d challenge him for the position. she genuinely understood where he was coming from. after spending weeks competing alongside one another, everyone still had things they wanted to accomplish before the show ended.

“this time, i really want to make good memories and give a good performance with my teammates.” xinlong finished, earning hums of understanding from the room.

silence fell over them once more, everyone waiting to see if someone else would speak up. a few people glanced around uncertainly, while others stared down at the floor. after a brief moment of contemplation, meixing found her voice.

“i can lead the team performance-wise, since i have experience.” she said, drawing all eyes to her. “i will take care of you all with a sense of responsibility.”

“and i’m older than him.” she finished, gesturing towards xinlong, making his jaw drop.

“hey!” xinlong gasped over the sound of their teammates laughing. “only a year.”

meixing carelessly shrugged. “a year wiser.” she lightly teased.

the room erupted into another round of laughter, even xinlong eventually shaking his head with a grin.

“if the teammates aren’t practicing, how will the leaders handle it?” sanghyeon said once the room quieted. his eyes bounced between the two candidates. “let’s do a role play.”

meixing briefly shut her eyes and let out a sigh at his suggestion, already feeling embarrassed. she could practically feel the cameras zooming in on her reaction.

“hyung, i’m really struggling. i don’t wanna do it.” sanghyeon said, dramatically lying down on the ground to really sell it.

a few of their teammates immediately started laughing at how committed he was to the bit.

everyone turned their heads to xinlong, waiting for his response.

“i wouldn’t just let that be.” he began. “i would bring a pillow and a blanket right away.” he laughed lightly as he spoke.

the image alone was enough to earn several amused smiles.

“this is the last performance, so you need to take care of yourself.” he added on loudly. “i would give you massages. i would say in a warm voice, ‘let’s go practice in five minutes,’ then go.”

everyone let out sounds of understanding, feeling swayed by his words.

“i will be a warm leader.” he finished.

“okay,” junseo grinned, shifting his eyes to meixing. “meimei, your turn.”

just as junseo finished speaking, sanghyeon grabbed liyu next to him by the collar of his shirt and started to push him, mimicking a fight.

“wanna take this outside?” sanghyeon said to liyu.

meixing laughed softly under her breath at his words and stood up, moving to settle between the two of them, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. she had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling too much at how seriously sanghyeon was committing to the role play.

“guys, what’s wrong?” she asked, playing along.

“he’s being weird.” sanghyeon said, pointing at liyu, causing a smile to threaten to form on meixing’s lips.

“he just doesn’t like me.” liyu retaliated. “i didn’t do anything, and he just hit me.”

a chorus of amused noises came from the rest of the team as they watched the ridiculous argument unfold.

“if you’re having a hard time…” meixing trailed off, racking her brain for her next words. she could feel everyone's eyes on her, waiting to see how she'd solve the conflict. “i’ll give you snacks.”

that seemed to be the right answer because sanghyeon immediately started smiling, clearly pleased.

“let’s take thirty minutes to learn it, then go home.” she said, her hands absentmindedly rubbing both of their shoulders. “let’s be efficient in practice and i’ll be your couples therapist at home.” she joked.

“what?!” sanghyeon yelled, pulling away from her as he cackled along with the rest of their team.

the room exploded into laughter. even the staff members behind the cameras seemed amused by the comment.

on her other side, liyu laughed beneath his hands, not able to look at her. his shoulders shook as he ducked his head, trying and failing to hide his reaction.

meixing smiled proudly to herself as she moved away from them and settled back in her spot. judging by everyone's reactions, she'd clearly handled the scenario well enough.

she and xinlong then put their heads down so their team could vote for the leader. the room gradually quieted, though occasional whispers and muffled laughter could still be heard as the members made their decisions.

meixing stared at the floor between her crossed legs while she waited. despite acting confident earlier, a small knot of nervousness had formed in her stomach. a few feet away, xinlong sat just as quietly.

after a few moments, the decision was made.

“announcing the leader of brat attitude…” junseo said once the two of them picked their heads back up.

“xu meixing.”

meixing’s eyes widened a fraction for being chosen over xinlong, but she gracefully accepted the position, taking the leader sticker from a staff member as her team lightly applauded.

xinlong watched her stick the purple sticker to her shirt, a little disappointed but nonetheless happy for her. if he couldn’t be the leader, he was more than okay with it being meixing. she’d proven time and time again that she could handle the responsibility.

“all we have left is the killing part.” donggyu said just as meixing reached forward to take a tablet from the staff so they could watch the choreography video for the killing part.

they all gathered around her to watch the clip, all of their eyes glued to the screen as they huddled in close. shoulders bumped together as they crowded around the small device, none of them wanting to miss a detail.

around her, her team commented on the intensity of the choreography and how powerful the killing part had to be.

as she watched, meixing could perfectly see jiahao in the killing part position and she found herself silently hoping that he’d be the one to take it. the movements suited him. the sharpness, the confidence, the stage presence. she could already picture him performing it in front of a crowd.

after the video ended, they all settled back down and looked closely at their lyric sheets, fully dissecting their parts before they started practicing.

the room became noticeably quieter as everyone focused. pages rustled, pens tapped against paper, and occasional murmurs could be heard as teammates compared lines.

meixing was studying her main vocal part when xinlong suddenly gasped loudly next to her.

“why is my part thirteen seconds?” he laughed, though it was clear he was a little disappointed.

without looking up, meixing reached over and rubbed his back in comfort.

“all that pushing for thirteen seconds is crazy.” she shook her head, her cheek pressed into her knee from how she was sitting.

xinlong lightly shoved her shoulder. “you’re bullying me today.” he jokingly sulked.

“i’m sorry.” meixing finally looked up from her lyric sheet, a pout playing on her lips. “you want a kiss or something to make up for it?” she asked bluntly, messing with him.

“uhhhh.” xinlong froze up, his eyes glancing over at jiahao next to him who was unmoving. “no, that’s okay.” he jumped up from his spot.

“longlong, i was joking!” meixing laughed, watching his retreating figure as he quickly escaped the conversation before looking over at jiahao. “i was.”

“i know.” jiahao said, his eyes immediately softening. “he got scared.”

“of me?” meixing asked cluelessly, pointing towards herself.

jiahao couldn’t help but chuckle. “definitely not. don’t worry about it.”

he stood up to begin to learn the killing part, hiding his smile behind the tablet he had in his hands. 

xinlong wasn’t scared of meixing, never. he was scared of jiahao potentially getting mad at him for the girl he knew jiahao liked suggesting something like that. only, jiahao wasn’t angry, he trusted his friends. however, it was funny to watch xinlong panic the way that he did.

from across the room, xinlong caught jiahao’s eye for a brief second and immediately pointed at meixing as if to say she started it. jiahao had to look away to hide his amusement.

meixing shrugged the whole thing off after a moment and stood up with jiahao, learning the choreography with him.

they both picked up on it rather quickly, throwing tips at each other whenever one of them got stuck on a specific part. every so often, one of them would stop to demonstrate a movement, the other immediately understanding after seeing it once. after some time, they both had it almost completely down.

their teamwork was effortless, something that’d become more and more apparent throughout the competition.

“ugh, why are you so good?” meixing said, looking at him in the mirror after another run through. a light sheen of sweat had formed on both of them from practicing. 

his dancing was truly addicting to watch, to her, at least.

“because i have a good partner.” jiahao grinned, rolling his short sleeves up to his shoulders.

“oh, is that it?” meixing raised an eyebrow, her hands on her hips.

“mhm.” jiahao hummed, looking down at her. “a pretty one too.”

meixing shook her head, a shy smile forming at his flirting. her stomach fluttered, suddenly very aware of all the cameras in the room and the staff members scattered around the edges of it.

“stop it.” she bashfully laughed, though she didn’t actually want him to. however, they had to be more mindful of where they were.

“sorry.” jiahao grinned, not at all sorry.

if anything, he looked pleased with himself.

meixing put her hand on his bicep to move around him. “i should go help everyone else.” she said, giving his arm a light squeeze before letting go and moving towards junseo.

jiahao watched her go, his gaze on her only being broken by kaiwen appearing in his vision, needing help with the choreography.

“hao-ge.” kaiwen said, raising an eyebrow.

jiahao blinked and turned his attention back to reality.

“right, sorry.” he laughed.

meixing made her rounds around the practice room, offering help to her teammates that needed it. as the leader, she felt responsible for making sure everyone felt confident and ready for the killing part evaluation before they had to leave. 

she eventually ended up standing with liyu and sanghyeon, the latter having called her over after struggling to get the moves exactly right.

she patiently broke the choreography down piece by piece, demonstrating it several times before having them try it themselves.

as meixing helped the two of them, jiahao continued practicing on the other side of the room, his eyes casting over to the three of them every so often.

that nasty feeling he hated so much returned when he saw her lean in close to liyu while correcting the angle of his arm, but he tried to push it down. he knew she was only helping. he knew she would’ve done the exact same thing for anyone else on the team.

if last night was any indication of what was going on between them, he had nothing to worry about.

still, when liyu made her laugh and she lightly shoved his shoulder in response, jiahao found himself turning back toward the mirror with a sigh.

eventually, their time to rehearse the killing part ended and they were all moved into a new practice room for the self evaluations to determine the candidates.

the atmosphere immediately felt different from before. gone was the relaxed energy of learning choreography together. now, a nervous tension lingered in the air as everyone prepared to perform in front of one another.

when meixing entered, the never been 2 heaven team was already sitting down waiting for them. anxin immediately looked up and locked eyes with her, gesturing for her to sit down next to him on the floor in the front.

with a bright grin, meixing took his offer and sat down crisscrossed beside him, the boy instantly wrapping his arms around her right arm as she settled.

“did you do it after i left last night?” anxin asked lowly, briefly turning to look at someone behind him.

meixing raised an eyebrow, confused, before it donned on her what he was asking. 

had she kissed and/or talked to jiahao.

“no,” meixing said, matching his tone. “and keep your voice down.” she scolded.

“what? why not?” anxin pestered, ignoring her reprimand.

“because…” she trailed off, aware of all the cameras and also not really having an answer as to why. “i don’t know, just shush.”

anxin stared at her suspiciously for a second before dramatically zipping his lips shut.

their conversation was abruptly cut off by the presence of a staff member. he handed both meixing and anxin small clip boards with the self evaluation sheets on them along with black pens.

anxin tapped meixing on the arm to say something, clearly not finished with the conversation, but he was interrupted by a producer announcing that they’d begin the evaluations, and brat attitude would be going first, starting with liyu.

the boy got up, anxiously adjusting his shirt as he stood in front of his peers. despite trying to hide it, the nerves were written all over his face.

“hello, i’m liyu from brat attitude. i’ve never done this kind of genre before, but i’ll do my best.” he said softly.

a few encouraging nods met his introduction.

he performed the part and meixing couldn’t help but smile gently through the whole thing, finding him and his mannerisms cute. even when he looked nervous, there was something endearing about the way he carried himself.

when he finished, applause filled the room and liyu quickly returned to his seat, his ears slightly red from all the attention.

xinlong went after him and did well, even though he forgot some of the choreography and had to freestyle towards the end.

the second he sat back down on the floor, he put his hands in his hair, disappointed with himself, resulting in the brat attitude team trying to comfort him.

wordlessly, meixing turned slightly and reached back to rub his knee, a quiet gesture of reassurance that told him it was okay and he’d still done a good job.

sanghyeon, junseo, kaiwen, and donggyu all took their turns afterward, each bringing their own charm and personality to the dance. donggyu, in particular, stood out. his energy filled the room from the moment the music started, his confidence and enthusiasm earning impressed reactions from everyone seated on the floor.

as she watched them perform, meixing mentally took notes, her eyes catching small details others might’ve missed. every slight hesitation, awkward transition, or place where their expressions fell flat was quietly stored away in the back of her mind for later practice.

before long, her own name was called, signaling it was her turn to try the killing part.

anxin quickly leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek before she pushed herself to her feet, absentmindedly fiddling with the bracelets around her wrists as she walked to the center of the floor.

she stood there for a moment, waiting silently for the music to start, when leo’s voice suddenly cut through the quiet.

“what’s your name?” he asked, referring to how some of the others had introduced themselves while she hadn’t.

“boy, you know my name.” meixing replied bluntly, immediately drawing snickers from around the room.

“oh yeah, sorry.” leo said, bowing his head dramatically, only making the laughter grow louder.

a smile tugged at meixing’s lips before the music started a second later, forcing her attention forward. admittedly, she was a little nervous dancing in front of everyone, but she focused on anxin sitting in the front instead. the bright grin he gave her was enough to settle her nerves.

“yeah, jiejie!” he shouted when she hit one of the sharper moves perfectly, making her laugh lightly before continuing through the choreography.

she finished strong, moving confidently through every count without forgetting a step or stumbling over a transition. when the music ended, polite applause filled the room as she returned to her spot beside anxin.

jiahao was called up after her, making him the last member of their team to perform.

he looked slightly nervous before the music started, his shoulders tense as he glanced toward meixing. she immediately offered him a soft, encouraging smile, and some of that tension visibly melted away.

resting her cheek against her palm, meixing watched him dance carefully, her eyes following each movement. honestly, she thought he fit the song better than anyone else on their team. the concept seemed to come naturally to him, and as she watched, she found herself hoping once again that he would finally manage to secure the killing part.

when he finished, earning applause from the room, meixing quietly cleared her throat and forced her gaze away from him before anyone could notice how intently she’d been watching.

instead, she lowered her eyes to the evaluation sheet they’d been instructed to fill out and focused on writing down her choices.

after little to no contemplation, meixing wrote jiahao’s name into the “candidate one” spot on her paper. her pen barely hesitated before the letters were already there. choosing her second candidate took more thought, her gaze drifting around the room as she replayed the performances in her head, but she eventually settled on donggyu, believing he could pull off the part well too.

a few minutes passed before everyone finished writing down their brat attitude killing part candidates, papers being collected as conversations quietly filled the room. then, it was never been 2 heaven’s turn.

leejeong and woojin went first, the latter stumbling over parts of the choreography and a few lyrics along the way. each mistake seemed to chip away at his confidence, and meixing could practically see his frustration building.

“it’s okay.” she called out gently, her voice carrying across the room in encouragement.

woojin finished with a disappointed shake of his head before returning to his seat beside anxin, dropping down with a sigh as junmin stood to take his place.

junmin’s performance earned a satisfied nod from meixing as she watched. cute concepts clearly weren't his natural territory, but she respected the risk he took stepping so far outside of his comfort zone. he committed to it fully, and that alone was admirable.

when leo went after him, meixing couldn't stop herself from laughing. she ended up leaning against anxin as he leaned into her, both of them struggling to stay upright from amusement alone.

leo attacked the refreshing concept with so much intensity that it became unintentionally hilarious. the room erupted with laughter and cheers as he powered through the choreography like he was performing the most serious song of his life.

when he finished, he sat back down looking thoroughly pleased with himself, mentally patting himself on the back. even if he wasn't likely to get the killing part, at least he'd been entertaining.

sangwon sprang to his feet immediately after, nerves practically radiating from him as he stepped into the center of the room. like leo and junmin, refreshing concepts weren't exactly his strongest area.

“sangwonie, don't forget to smile.” meixing lightly teased.

sangwon immediately lowered his head, already embarrassed before he'd even started, earning chuckles from everyone around them.

when the music began, he plastered the brightest smile imaginable onto his face and danced with exaggerated enthusiasm, very clearly taking meixing's advice to heart.

meixing ended up laughing into her hand as she watched. her cheeks were beginning to ache from smiling by the time he accidentally messed up part of the choreography, only to recover flawlessly by freestyling to the beat as though he'd planned it all along.

kangmin and geonwoo followed after sangwon.

kangmin thoroughly impressed meixing, his confidence making the performance feel effortless. meanwhile, geonwoo did well too, carrying the concept naturally despite stumbling over a small section of the choreography.

anxin let out a small sigh as geonwoo sat back down. he was the last person to go and before he stood, meixing kissed his cheek just as he did hers before her own turn.

he stood in front of them all with a little more confidence than he usually carried during evaluations like this, his posture steadier, his movements more assured as the music started.

as he danced, meixing’s eyes stayed locked on him, bright with pride. there was something satisfying about watching his growth, like every practice and performance they’d pushed through was finally showing itself in moments like this. he’d come so far in such a short time, and the thought made her chest feel full.

she was reaching for her evaluation sheet before anxin fully sat back down next to her, already writing his name down and putting kangmin’s down right below it in “candidate two.”

once everyone finished their self evaluations, the teams were told to return to their respective practice rooms to review the results.

after saying goodbye to never been 2 heaven and peeling herself away from a very clingy anxin, meixing headed back into their practice room. she followed in behind sanghyeon and took her seat beside him, settling in as the atmosphere slowly shifted back into focus.

xinlong was the first to speak, still frustrated with himself.

“it was the same last time too.” he pouted, running a hand through his hair. “my memory is… my brain is like an elderly person.”

his tone wasn’t meant to be funny, but the comparison made a few of them let out quiet laughs anyway.

“everyone learns at a different pace.” meixing said gently through her chuckles. “it’s okay.”

xinlong nodded slightly at that, though his eyes stayed lowered as a staff member behind the cameras stepped forward with a clipboard.

“we’ll announce the self evaluation results now.” he said, holding it out toward meixing.

she took it carefully with both hands, adjusting her grip as her eyes scanned the top sheet. the handwriting was messy enough that she had to lean a little closer to read it. she was silently grateful that sanghyeon was sitting right beside her in case she needed help deciphering anything.

“okay,” she began, drawing everyone’s attention. “killing part candidate one, xu meixing.”

a small, almost amused smile formed on her lips as she read it aloud.

“the reason is that her dance is the most stable.”

her eyes moved further down the page, and without realizing it, her expression softened into something more delighted, her smile widening just slightly.

“killing part candidate two, zhang jiahao.” she said, glancing up at him as his eyebrows lifted in clear surprise. “reason is because he has a nice vibe.”

everyone hummed, nodding in understanding of the anonymous comments towards their two teammates.

“okay, moving on.” meixing said, flipping the paper over to read the next one. the sound of the page turning echoed faintly in the quiet room. 

“killing part candidate one, zhang jiahao. killing part candidate two, xu meixing.”

meixing continued to read the evaluation results, jiahao and herself coming up numerous times. donggyu’s name also started to become quite apparent, making it clear that the three of them were the ones with the most votes. each mention felt heavier than the last, like the room itself was waiting to see what would happen.

every time meixing read jiahao’s name she’d look over at him, her heart warming at not only his reaction at being chosen, but the fact he was being recognized for once after trying time and time again. there was a quiet pride in the way he sat, even if he tried to hide it, and it made something soft settle in her chest.

after reading all the results, meixing independently tallied up the votes, hiding her face behind the clipboard as she finalized the candidates. her fingers moved carefully along the paper as she double checked everything, her breath held slightly without her realizing. she put on her best poker face after she finished, but a grin threatened to slip out, her excitement creeping up on her.

“the two killing part candidates for brat attitude are…” she said, letting the silence stretch. the pause was deliberate, drawing out the anticipation in the room. “xu meixing…”

a few gasps and murmurs followed immediately, and meixing didn’t wait long before turning her head to the right.

“and zhang jiahao.”

noises of approval sounded from their team as they all clapped for them, satisfied with their killing part candidates. jiahao was trying to hide how truly happy he was with the results, but meixing could easily see right through him, making her heart soften. his eyes lingered on the floor for a moment before he finally let a small smile slip through.

the two of them stood up and received the killing part stickers from the staff before turning to one another and sticking them to each other’s shirts.

meixing stuck the purple sticker to jiahao’s black shirt, her fingertips brushing lightly against the fabric as she smoothed it down. she looked up at him through her lashes as he looked down at her before quickly looking away, his ears faintly red. 

he put her sticker on gently like he was afraid of touching her in front of everyone before stepping away, careful and almost hesitant. like he didn’t quite want to move away but knew he had to.

later that night, after filming for the day wrapped up, meixing sat alone in her and jiahao’s room reading on her bed, thumbing through the pages. the room was dim, lit only by her small reading light and the overhead light from the bathroom she tended to keep on instead of the main lights.

she, xinlong, and kaiwen had gotten dinner together down in the cafeteria earlier. they’d invited jiahao and anxin to go with them, but anxin had quickly declined for them both, pulling jiahao away before the boy could even speak. this caused the trio to look at one another in suspicion, but they ultimately brushed it off, used to anxin’s odd behaviors. still, meixing had lingered on it for a moment longer than she meant to.

meixing’s attention shifted from her book as she heard fast footsteps suddenly approaching her door. the sound grew louder in the hallway, hurried and uneven like someone had been rushing. 

she couldn’t see from where she was sitting but the door then opened, the light from the hallway spilling sharply into the room, before the door closed and the lock clicking into place could be heard.

“mei, i…” jiahao appeared in her vision, trailing off his sentence when he got a look at her.

he’d just had a very long discussion with anxin about his feelings, the younger boy pestering him about not doing anything last night when the opportunity was right in his hands. anxin hadn’t been subtle, talking over him, grabbing his sleeve, and insisting that if he waited any longer he was going to lose his chance entirely.

talking to anxin gave jiahao the final push he needed to finally tell meixing how he felt, and he quickly left his friend behind in his dorm to come find her. only now with her sitting in front of him, the warm light in the room wrapping elegantly around her, his words died in his throat. the sight of her so calm and ordinary, yet somehow still completely overwhelming, made him forget every sentence he’d rehearsed.

she looked so beautiful to him, and it made his heart race in his chest, loud enough that he swore she might hear it if the room stayed quiet enough.

“what’s wrong?” meixing asked, slowly lowering her book into her lap. 

her voice was gentle, more curious than worried, her eyes adjusting to him standing there so suddenly.

“nothing.” jiahao said weakly, running his hand through his hair. his fingers lingered there a moment longer than usual, like he was trying to steady himself.

without realizing it, jiahao began to pace lightly in front of her, not noticing the questioning expression on the girl’s face. his steps were small and uneven, portraying how restless he felt, like staying still would make everything come out wrong.

“jiahao.” she said, making him stop and look at her.

“i’m sorry,” he said softly. “just thinking.” his voice cracked slightly at the end, and he cleared his throat as if that would fix it.

“please sit down.” meixing said gently, patting the space on her mattress next to her. “you’re making me nervous.”

after a brief moment of contemplation, jiahao internally debating if he was actually ready to do this, he moved forward and sat down beside her, avoiding her eyes. his shoulders were tense, and his hands rested awkwardly in his lap like he didn’t know what to do with them.

meixing set her book aside and scooted forward, getting a little closer to him as she patiently waited for him to start talking. the small shift made the space between them feel even smaller, charged with something neither of them were saying out loud.

jiahao anxiously fidgeted with the jade ring on his finger, thinking over his words, before finally looking at the girl next to him. his gaze flickered over her face like he was trying to memorize the way she was looking at him.

“i had this whole thing planned out in my head, but now i don’t know how to say it without sounding stupid.” he said quietly, his shyness peeking out despite how hard he tried to hide it.

“just try.” meixing said, matching his tone in the quiet of the room. “nothing you say can be stupid.”

jiahao looked into her eyes and saw nothing but kindness and understanding, relaxing his nerves before he began to speak. the tightness in his shoulders loosened just slightly, like her gaze alone was enough to steady him.

“i just…” he trailed off before lightly shaking his head, the words just spilling out. “i can’t stop thinking about you. you’re always on my mind and it makes it so hard to focus sometimes. when i’m on stage or practicing or trying to sleep, you’re always there. i look for you in every room before i even realize i’m doing it.”

meixing’s breath hitched at his words, butterflies swarming in her stomach as it donned on her what he was saying. her fingers instinctively curled slightly in her lap, like she was trying to hold herself together.

“i thought it was nothing at first, but when i first saw you dancing with sangwon i knew whatever i was feeling went beyond surface level admiration.” jiahao confessed, turning his body to look at meixing more clearly. his voice softened as he spoke, but there was no hesitation left in it now. “i wanted it to be me in his place, and then it was and i fell for you even more.”

a small smile grew on jiahao’s face as he spoke, spilling his feelings to the girl he unexpectedly found himself falling for. it was faint, almost disbelieving, like he couldn’t quite believe he was finally saying it out loud.

“and then today, watching you with liyu and sanghyeon… it felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest because i got jealous again. which is ridiculous because you weren’t doing anything wrong, you were just helping them because that’s who you are. but still, i wanted you next to me instead.” his grip on his own words tightened as he spoke, like he was frustrated with himself for feeling it so strongly.

meixing was speechless. she spent the days from the last elimination to now thinking that maybe he didn’t like her the way she liked him, but here he was, telling her that she consumed his mind. the realization settled over her slowly, warm and overwhelming, but she welcomed it.

wordlessly, she reached over and held his hand in hers, sensing that he wasn’t done talking. her thumb brushed lightly over his knuckles, steadying him without a word.

“every time you smile at me, or sit close to me, or look at me when i’m dancing, i feel like my heart’s gonna burst out of my chest.” jiahao trailed off softly, his unoccupied hand touching the left side of his chest as he spoke. 

his voice came quieter now, more fragile, like saying it all out loud had stripped him bare.

he looked at her as he finished talking. the fact she wasn’t saying anything was tearing him apart so badly that he didn’t notice the way she was softly smiling at him, her eyes basically shining with something he hadn’t seen clearly before.

“i understand if you don’t feel the same.” jiahao said sadly, shifting to stand up, already bracing himself for the loss of something he was afraid to lose.

meixing’s eyes widened in panic. she quickly tightened her grip on his hand and tugged him back down to her, making him look at her in surprise as he stopped halfway up, only to be pulled gently back into place beside her.

she didn’t say anything yet. she only traced her eyes over both of his and his lips before she let go of his hand and moved it to grab him by the collar of his shirt, tugging him toward her and finally kissing him.

the motion was sudden, but not uncertain. it was like something inside her had finally stopped holding back.

jiahao kissed her back immediately, the two of them basically melting into each other. the tension that’d been hanging between them all day finally broke, replaced by something softer and more overwhelming at the same time.

it was soft and tender, light, like they were afraid of the other slipping away. jiahao’s hand moved to meixing’s waist, pulling her a hair closer as her cherry chapstick invaded his senses. his grip tightened slightly, like he was trying to convince himself she was really there.

after a few seconds, jiahao pulled away, resting his forehead against hers as her hand moved from his shirt collar to the back of his neck. both of them were breathing unevenly, the closeness making it harder to think clearly.

“i’m sorry about last night.” jiahao said, his lips ghosting over meixing’s as he spoke, not quite ready to pull away completely. “i shouldn’t have left you alone like that.”

“it’s okay, you’re here now.” meixing said softly, her nails gently caressing the nape of his neck. her voice was quiet, steady, like she was trying to anchor both of them in the moment.

unable to resist, jiahao leaned forward and kissed her again, tilting his head to deepen it. all the feelings he’d been harboring for her pouring out of him as his lips moved against hers, no longer restrained or careful.

meixing moved with him, getting lost in him as all the words she hadn’t been able to say seeped into how she was kissing him. she didn’t need to say them yet, he could tell. he could feel it in the way she held him, in the way she didn’t pull away.

her hand trailed down from his neck to rest on his chest, feeling his heart pounding under her hand, as his own moved up to her face, cupping her cheek gently like she might disappear if he let go.

his thumb traced over the apple of her cheek like he was trying to memorize the shape of her face and how she felt against his palm.

the feeling made her smile into the kiss, small and breathless, making jiahao start to smile as well, both of them completely lost in each other.

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