#harmful behavior

To start, I would say to try explaining it whether he’s verbal or not and if you need to, break it down into simpler cues. Like the PECS icon or ASL sign for “stop” if receptive ID is something he’s still working on area great tools. A hard “stop” and then shutting down the scenario will convey that it’s not acceptable behavior over time. It can be tricky when harmful behaviors crop up in kids in general because they are too young to understand why they shouldn’t be mean (like emotional cause and effect isn’t really a thing until much older) and if the child is more expressive than receptive it can be even harder to help them find alternative means for whatever they are actually trying to express. Rarely are harmful behaviors actually wilful acts of defiance.Giving them the power to remove themselves from situations entirely as needed is what generally helps the most as many “negative” stims and echolalia are triggered by overstimulation or stress. So teaching a kid to recognize when things are getting to be too much and letting the kid say, “All done,” or “Break time,” and remove themselves to another room away from everything else can prevent a lot of these behaviors in general. When they feel trapped in a situation or area, they are more likely to express harmful behaviors in trying to cope with it.For example, if given the choice between spitting on a peer or going and using the computer or tablet for 15 minutes in a quiet place, I’m willing to bet they’ll choose the later. Positive reinforcement works better with kids overall. If you respond to their hitting someone by hitting them, you’re only showing them that it’s okay for people to hit people. You know? A better method is just, “Why hit someone when you could be doing this totally cool thing instead? Here, let’s play this game you LOVE or have this snack that is your favorite (or whatever).” Aim to try to offer the alternative before violence is actually carried out so that it doesn’t seem like a reward. Like the instant a peer interaction starts to go south, offer the alternative.What I also see a lot is autistic kids playing out “skits” of things they saw at school as a form of echolalia. So they do things like hit people or spit on them and maybe even repeat a phrase in association with that act repetitively because they saw someone else doing it and it just becomes A Thing for a while. My son, who is autistic too, often echolalia’s his teacher’s reprimanding other students (we hear a lot of, “Max, no! Chloe no climbing! Jojo, shoes on!” etc.) Sometimes your response to this is the “amusing” part as you are raising your voice or behaving “new and differently” for reasons they don’t understand yet. At times the best way to break a habit is to pretend it isn’t happening until they move on to the next one. I know that is harder when the habit that’s been formed is potentially harming someone but patience is really the key. If you have to react, keep it simple to limit how interesting your reaction seems. Around here a disinterested, “Mn, no thank you.” tends to work way better than any sort of overt frustration which is found very interesting more often than it’s curbed any behaviors.You can try working on zones of regulation (color coded moods, basically, to make them easier to recognize) as a way for them to learn their own boundaries and those of others, but you will have to be consistent. If your brother has a speech therapist or OT, you can talk to them about ideas that they can reinforce as well. Getting “same” input from multiple sources is really helpful in forming and reinforcing positive coping mechanisms.I hope any of this has helped at all. Feel free to send me additional details if you’d like more specific advice. But ultimately it’ll be patience and persistence that’ll help you both the most. You can also pull the kids aside that are teaching him these things, intentionally or not, and explain to them the damage they are causing. They may not care, but if you threaten to tell their moms/dads, you may find they suddenly care a whole lot more.