Heavy. Exhaustive. Not quite cathartic because I can’t actually spend the day wracked with sobs and sleeping off the resulting endorphin crash.

"Hard Day"?

Well...not exactly.

That's to be determined 😜

Btw written, produced, arranged, all vocals, and ALL instruments/programming by?

The one and only...

Mr. George Michael 🥰

Absolutely a sleeper on "Faith" and one of my favorite tracks by him.

It's sexy, it's funky, and it's unabashedly brilliant.

I woke up to my electric being shut off.

I'm not surprised, though disappointed.

Disappointed that it's gone;

disappointed that this isn't the first time this has happened.

Disappointed that I miss payments -

that I'm in this situation

and can never seem to get out of it.

Stress rests upon my shoulders

and anxiety bubbles in my stomach by nightfall.

Rent is due in a week.

My phone plan runs out tomorrow.

I need almost two thousand dollars

just to get started.

My heart sinks as I think of my mother's words spoken to me a month ago:

"Would you rather lose your house now or next month?"

Uh ma, i'd rather not lose it.

I have to do everything I can.

I am positive that I can save my home (and make all of the necessary repairs)

if I am ever able to climb out of this hole.

Doordash is an everlasting cycle of dread.

It keeps me stuck in a loop.

They pay us as little as possible.

They have a ratings system that is meant to keep you down.

I am endlessly trying to survive.

It makes it incredibly hard to get out of.

My partner got offered a new job.

We are currently waiting to find out the start date.

Things are getting there, oh so slowly.

I am building myself up;

getting commissions set up on kofi.

To try to pay rent and electric fast, I set up a gofundme page.

I will be sharing that in the next few days, when I release my video on youtube.

My phone service is out anyway.

That gives me the opportunity to prep and film.

I'll use random wi-fi for the bits that need internet.

Hopefully I'll get that out there tomorrow.

The day after at the most.

I am scared and I hope it works.

I'll offer commissions and ask for donations.

I am putting in the effort;

I believe I can do this.

I at least have to try.

Written by Aprilfool🐸

6/23/2026

(the link to my kofi is dropped below if you want to consider donating and/or check it out. I only have one option of poetry commission out at the moment. If you are interested in the commission that is up, I am willing to do it and can take time to go somewhere that has public wifi. I am still tweaking it when I am on wifi. When that is complete, I will share all of that with the gofundme and my video. If you have any questions, feel free to ask ☺️)

I had to miss another get-together. another birthday. again again again. too sick to be around that many people. too sick to be able to tolerate loud music or conversations. too sick to sit upright for that long. too sick too sick too sick.

and she said, "Milo.. but there's like video calls now. We can hang and have fun without being together."

and I have to find a way to explain that even that, I cannot do. because of ME.

people without ME can never understand the magnitude of what it takes from you.