#hao x reader

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓗ao ﹙𝔃.﹚

cowgirl, but he’s sitting up too (think it’s called the lotus?)

Hao is a pillow princess. Or like… semi-pillow princess on your usual sex sessions. Like a power bottom in a way. Part of it is because he still wants to be able to boss you around without doing too much work, but also because he likes watching you lose yourself to the pleasure. He likes watching you take how you feel into your own hands as you bounce on his dick with the utmost intensity. What makes things even better, though, is when he’s still able to be close to you. He likes feeling your heartbeat and the way your breaths quicken as you get closer to cumming, so his preferred position still includes him being chest to chest with you.

You were falling apart quicker than usual tonight. Hao could tell by the way your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders and how you’d succumbed to the feeling of keeping almost the entirety of his dick inside of you. Now, you were just barely lifting up before sinking back down to the base. With a small huff, his hand comes down to lightly hit your thigh, making you yelp. “Oh, please. I didn’t even hit you that hard,” he mumbles, eyes half-lidded as your hands move to hold onto the sides of his neck. “You close?”

“Yes,” you breathe, eyes locked onto his as you keep working your hips over him, riding him like your life depended on it. The friction against your clit from grinding against his pubic bone every time you took his whole length had you teetering right on the edge. 

“Shouldn’t even let you cum. M’not even close.” It was a lie, but Hao felt like giving you a hard time, especially since it meant you would bounce up and down on his cock even harder. A loud groan leaves him. “Oh–” Your cunt clenches around him, the slick sounds of your pussy making his eyes snap open a little wider, not wanting to miss the sight of you falling over the edge. A sight that he would watch over and over again. “Such a good girl… Go ahead.”

And with that, your body is tensing above his, your head falling forward to hide in his neck as your hips jerk against his. Your nails drag down his chest as you cry out his name, making Hao such in a sharp breath from the minimal pain. He holds you tightly against his chest as you finish riding out your high, only for his hips to snap up again. Because once was never enough for him.

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓗anbin ﹙𝓼.﹚

missionary

Hanbin’s definitely a missionary guy. There’s something so appealing to him about how the position is so intimate and is something reserved for more romantic couples. He likes feeling truly connected with you during sex, and this position only reassures that craving. Because having you under him–having you feeling like you need him to get off in the way he needs you shows him just how deep (no pun intended) of a connection the two of you have. That, and his breeding kink comes into play here. The thought of him being able to fuck a baby into you in such a loving position, his lips on yours as your legs wrap around his waist is his dirtiest and favorite fantasy. 

The sloppy sounds of Hanbin’s dick drilling into your sopping pussy fill your shared bedroom–practically music to his ears. That, along with your moans. “There! Right there– God, you’re so big,” you whine, only spurring him on further. Hanbin knows he’s big, and the thought of him being right there next to your womb due to being in missionary is everything he needs to feel like could cum right then and there.

“Yeah… Your pussy’s practically begging for my cum. Y’hear her? Hear how bad she wants to be filled up?” You moan in response, a small smile twitching at the corners of Hanbin’s lips. And when your legs wrap around his waist, your moans only get louder, a result of him hitting deeper inside of you, of course. “Love you,” he pants. 

It was easy for him to feel overwhelmed in these moments. When he was completely consumed by you in every way. “L-Love you,” you somehow manage to respond. When his pretty brown eyes find yours, he can see the desperation in them. The need for him, the same need that’s aching in his chest, and the love. Hanbin can’t help it as he leans down to kiss you, his lips crashing over yours as he feels you cum from the declarations of love. And he’s right there with you, but for a different reason. 

“Gonna love to see you pregnant with my baby too…”

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓜atthew ﹙𝓼.﹚

backshots / bending you over something

LOVES hitting it from the back. In my opinion, Matthew is such an ass guy, and this definitely influences his favorite sex position. He likes manhandling you into those positions: where your ass is up and you’re face down. Whether that’s over the back of the couch or on the dining room table or in bed, he doesn’t really care. As long as he’s able to make you scream by how deep he’s hitting–another perk of this position. He fucks rough, and he can really let loose when he’s hitting it from the back. 

His hand almost covers the expanse of your lower back as he forces you down onto your hands and knees, the sudden change of positions making your arms bend and sending your face into the pillows. Matthew chuckles softly at the small yelp that leaves you. “Look at you… So fucking pretty.” He punctuates his sentence with a small smack on the meat of your ass, gripping the cheek to jiggle it softly before he’s pulling them apart to reveal your dripping hole. “Ready?”

You turn your head to the side so he’s able to hear you clearly. “M’ready. Need you, Matt.”

And hearing those words for you never got old.

Matthew slowly eases his thick cock into you, knowing the slight curve to the left always brushed against your most sensitive spot when he was all the way inside. And once he’s sure that you’re adjusted, he’s going from 0 to 100. His hips meet your ass roughly as he pounds into you, his hands gripping your hips to both pull you back against him and to keep you from squirming away. Because you’re screaming, your arms going weak as your eyes roll back. 

“Feel me?”

“Yes, I fucking feel you!” you cry out like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Matthew chuckles, angling his hips to make each of his thrusts deeper, making sure your pussy would really feel everything he had to offer. His balls smack against your clit with every thrust, strings of your wetness sticking to them, and the rough sensations have you reeling. 

Everything about this was perfect. For both you and him.

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓣aerae ﹙𝓴.﹚

cowgirl

Taerae likes watching. Likes watching you do everything you do in day-to-day life. And that includes taking his cock. I think that Taerae would prefer cowgirl for some of the same reasons Hao does–namely, you being able to take control of your own pleasure because that’s ultimately what he’s doing this for: to make you feel good. And Taerae has a thick cock. Like, leaves your hole gaping after y’all are done fucking big. So, you being on top helps you manage that a little better as well. Plus, Taerae loves watching your tits bounce when you ride him.

Sweat gleams on your skin as your hands rest on his chest, a way for you to balance yourself as you ride him slowly. Maybe it’s wrong for him to enjoy seeing the way you struggle to accommodate his size, but Taerae can’t find it in himself to care at the moment. And your head feels dizzy even when you’re working over him so slowly. Thankfully your pussy was soaked. Both with your juices and with his spit, making it easy for you to bounce up and down.

You’re taking your time, and Taerae loves how you’re teasing him without even realizing it. He reaches up, rolling one of your sensitive nipples between his fingers and making your hips jerk. “You’ve taken it before, but you’re enjoying it tonight, hmm?” 

“S-Shut up,” you whine, increasing your pace just a little bit at his teasingly, and your tits bounce a little more with your harsher movements. Taerae watches as you roll your hips, feeling the way your pussy greedily sucks at his cock, and he almost feels bad for making you do all of this on your own. But it was so much more satisfying this way. For both you and him.

He chuckles softly, letting go of your nipple, settling back further against his pillows as he prepares to just lie back and enjoy the show. You almost want to complain at the way he tucks his hands behind his head like the way your cunt milking his cock isn’t affecting him. “I’ll shut up and you’ll ride then.”

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓡icky ﹙𝓼.﹚

standing

Having sex standing up is just so much better in Ricky’s opinion. He isn’t sure if it’s because he likes using his strength on you in a minimal way, or if it’s because his dick is so good that your knees quite literally give out because of it. He thinks that standing sex makes things feel so much better too. Like your pussy feels so much tighter when he has your front pinned against a wall as he fucks you, and how he can tell by the expression on your face when you cum that the orgasm feels so much more intense.

“Feels weird!” you cry, nails digging into his forearm as Ricky keeps his arms wrapped tightly around your middle. You squirm a little at the pressure, but Ricky does it for the sake of making sure you don’t fall to the floor. And while it might feel a little weird, he knew that it was only the pleasure consuming you as his cock kissed your cervix with each thrust. Your pussy flutters around his base again as he shallowly fucks into you.

Ricky pants against your neck, pausing his efforts of marking you as well as slowing his movements. “Good weird or bad weird–”

“No, no, don’t stop!” And that was enough of an answer for him. Ricky picks up the pace again, one of his hands coming to toy with your clit as you feel your knees tremble from the added sensation. “Oh!”

His biceps have gotten so much bigger lately, and his subtle ways of showing them off have been leaving you feeling dizzy. This was no exception, and you couldn’t wait to see the way the marks your nails left on his skin would look with his new muscles. Ricky’s nose nudges your jaw, prompting you to turn your head to the side, only for his lips to meet yours.

Similar to how his cock fucks into you, his tongue pushes inside your mouth, and you can’t hold your orgasm back anymore. The sounds of your release hitting the floor has you gasping against his lips, oversensitivity kicking in as Ricky’s fingers lightly circle your clit through the orgasm. Turns out, that weird feeling was your pussy getting ready to squirt from how good it felt to be fucked standing up.

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓖yuvin ﹙𝓴.﹚

mating press

Starting this one off with the obvious: Gyuvin is huge. No doubt about it. And who is he to waste his size if not in a position where you’re going to feel everything. Being able to pin you down is one of the things that makes the mating press position so appealing to Gyuvin–keeping your knees back by your tits just by leaning the weight of his chest over you. It was his way of making sure you couldn’t run away from the pleasure. You just had to lie there and take it.

Sex with Gyuvin is messy. Even more so when he has you so exposed like this. Both of you have already orgasmed at least once (you more than he), but neither of you wants to stop. His thick cock parts your folds in a stretch that you still struggled to believe was real sometimes, as his tip abuses a spot inside of you that has you seeing entire galaxies. His cum and yours leaks out around his cock, a creamy, white ring forming around the base.

“O-Oh, fuck,” Gyuvin groans as another spurt of pre-cum shoots out into your cunt, only adding to the wetness between your thighs. The feeling has you squirming, your hips trying to escape despite wanting more. Thankfully, though, Gyuvin knows this. His hands come to your thighs, folding them up to your chest to pin you down. 

The expression of how much bigger he is than you has a rush of warmth going through your overstimulated nerves. “You drive me crazy,” he breathes, face coming down to hide in your neck. “I feel like it’s never enough, I just need more all of the time, and I feel insane–”

“Me too,” you pant out, trying to sound reassuring, but it sounds more meek than anything. A result of being fucked out of your mind. “Want more of you– So cum in me again.”

ㅤ ⎯⎯ㅤ 𝓖unwook ﹙𝓹.﹚

spooning

I literally have such a hard time picturing Gunwook as anything other than a soft lover, so I think that the spooning position is so perfect for him. Like this position is so incredibly intimate, and that’s all he ever wants to feel with you. He wants to feel like you’re the only person in the world, and he wants you to feel the same thing towards him. So, he tries to consume all of your senses through fucking you like this. Because when he’s mouthing at your neck while one of his big hands rests over the bulge of his dick in your belly, it’s hard to think of anything else except for him.

“I’m tired, Wook,” you mumble, but your boyfriend’s being stubborn tonight. That much is clear by the way he rolls over in bed, his body cuddling up closely behind yours. You try to ignore the very obvious bulge in his pajama pants. “We need to sleep.”

“I’ll be quick. Promise.” 

And before you know it, Gunwook’s lazily fucking into you, your thighs parted just enough to let him between them. Your thighs rub together, causing your folds to rub your clit in a way that has you keening softly. That, and the heat of Gunwook’s mouth against the sensitive skin of your neck is only making your body sink further into the mattress.

Steady waves of pleasure go over the both of you, making this feel like so much more than getting off quickly. It feels like your souls are truly intertwined with the way he’s weakly fucking into you, breathing in your scent and panting your name. His words mirroring his thoughts. “Need you like this every night. Need to show you how much I love you.” You want to tell him that you already know how much he loves you. He shows you everyday, but he’s fucking you so good and so lazily that everything just feels so much deeper. “You’ll let me stay in after I’m done, right?”

As he talked, you found yourself staring at his lips, unable to resist the temptation. You decided to give it a shot—"the triangle method" you saw this on your feed last time and wanted to check if this is legit. Slowly, you glanced at his eyes, then his lips, and then back to his eyes again.

Minghao didn’t pause. He didn’t even blink.

Instead, he leaned in and gave you a quick, soft kiss before pulling back and continuing the conversation as though nothing had happened. His expression was still nonchalant, so perfectly composed, that you thought he hadn’t even noticed what you were trying to do.

You blinked, a little stunned, and sat there quietly as he kept talking. Does he not know about that method? you wondered. Did he kiss me by accident? The questions swirled in your mind, but you didn’t voice any of them.

Then, out of nowhere, he turned to you with a sly grin. “If you wanted a kiss, you could’ve just said so,” he teased, his tone mocking but still playful.

Your face flushed with embarrassment, and you glared at him. “I wasn’t—!” you started, but he raised an eyebrow knowingly, cutting you off without a word.

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Okay, fine. Would you have kissed me if I asked???”

His response was immediate. “No.” His expression didn’t waver, completely unfazed.

You clicked your tongue in annoyance, turning your face away from him. He chuckled at your reaction, finding your little pout adorable. Without missing a beat, he reached over and grabbed your waist, pulling you closer until you were perched on his lap.

Startled, you looked at him with wide eyes. “What?” you muttered, your sulking tone still evident.

Minghao leaned back against the couch, his arms loosely wrapped around you. “Don’t sulk,” he said with a smirk, clearly enjoying your annoyed state.

“I’m not sulking,” you shot back, though your pout betrayed your words.

His laughter was soft and warm, and before you could say anything else, he leaned in and pecked your lips. “Sorry,” he murmured softly.

Another peck. “I’m…”

And another. “…so…”

One more, his lips lingering just a second longer this time. “…sorry.”

Your sulkiness melted away as his kisses continued, and you couldn’t help but giggle softly. “You’re only sorry because you feel bad for teasing me,” you said, though your words lacked any real bite.

“Maybee,” he admitted with a shrug, his hands tightening around your waist. “But you’re so cute when you get pouty.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile gave you away. “You always need to have the last word hu?,” you muttered, leaning forward to kiss him properly this time.

18+ WARNINGS: puppy play i guess? they're in cages, wear collars and refer to themselves as puppy but nothing more specific or dog related than that lmao. penetrative sex. a fun little homoerotic moment bc we live. we love. lots of dommy stuff from reader. haohao gets his feelings really hurt and disrespected so lots of angst there tbh but i'll resolve it in the next part!! okay that's it i guess, love you

it’s friday night, and a particularly special friday night indeed. how lucky you’d been this year that halloween fell on the first eve of the weekend. you could drink and party to your heart’s content without having to worry about waking up early for work the next day.

so you spent the rest of the night partying with your best friends at some sleezy hongdae club and ignoring all the men that came up to you, asking if you were open mindeu...

they had no idea.

and just one look at each of them told you that they wouldn’t be able to handle it. your ex-boyfriend certainly couldn’t, that’s for fucking sure.

you couldn’t spend the night with some loser anyway. your perfect puppies were waiting for you at home. 

stumbling through the door into your two-story apartment at around two in the morning, the jingling of your keys prompted some whines from upstairs. you kick your heels off quickly, locking the front door behind you and walking over to the spiral staircase that led to your loft.

“it’s okay, mommy’s home!” you yell assuredly, hearing some anticipatory rustling. you make your way up the stairs with a giggle. “i’m coming, i’m coming!”

you step up into the loft, graced with the sight of your two beautiful puppies sitting attentively in their cages. they’re both calm, panting excitedly when they finally lay their eyes on you. you’ve trained them so well.

“what good boys you’ve been,” you praise, walking over to the first cage. “mommy’s gonna let you out now so we can play a bit before bed. how does that sound?”

some sweet whines sound from around you in elation. you release the lock on the door of the first crate, as an absolutely adorable puppy comes sprinting out to you. you turn to the other cage, opening the door as the second equally adorable puppy crawls out, slightly more timid than the other.

they kneel in front of you, eyes sparkling as they look up at you sweetly. 

“my perfect little angels,” you coo, running a hand through the floppy brown hair of each of your puppies. “my haohao and my binnie.”

binnie leans into your touch, nestling his head further into your caress. he’s content just like this.

but hao pouts up at you, puppy dog eyes wide and pathetic.

“what’s wrong, lovey?” you ask, brow furrowed back at him in concern.

“hao misses mommy when she’s gone,” he says softly, his shoulders dropping.

“mommy misses hao, too,” you reply, kneeling down in front of your puppies as you continue to scratch binnie’s head. “you know that, beautiful.”

“yeah, but,” hao says, starting to speak out of turn. unfortunately for your sanity, this was not an uncommon occurrence. as good and sweet as your boys were, they were not always cooperative. they could get greedy, wanting to go places with you and spend every moment with you. you had explained to both of them when this arrangement first began how it all would work. they are the puppies. you are their mommy. and what mommy says, goes. and sometimes mommy needs a break from her puppies, no matter how much she loves them.

haohao knows this. he’s just choosing to wind you up. he’s lucky that you’re still a bit tipsy at the moment.

“but i— i mean, hao... wants to go with mommy to parties,” hao protests, trying to maintain his soft tone.

“binnie? do you feel the same way?” you ask, turning to your slightly more agreeable puppy. “are you upset with mommy?”

“no! no, no, no, no, no. binnie loves mommy,” he says, looking over at hao with annoyance. “haohao’s being mean to mommy.”

“no, i’m fucking not!” hao yells at hanbinnie. “we were literally talking about this before she got home. you said you were gonna back me up this time! should’ve known you’d pussy out like you always do.”

“i wasn’t talking about anything with you,” hanbin says, looking up at you nervously. “just shut the fuck up.”

“you’re just buttering her up so she’ll fuck you,” hao says with a smirk.

“am not!” binnie fights back. “you’re just jealous that she loves me more.”

“oh yeah? whose dick did she suck today, huh? not yours,” hao growls, causing binnie to shove him in anger. hao, being the petty type, tackles hanbin to the ground.

you should mention that your boys could get jealous, too. of your friends. of the other men you’ve gone out with. and, most notably, of each other.

and if that weren’t enough for you to deal with, hao and binnie also had a tendency to get extremely and irrevocably horny.

even in your absence.

that’s why they’re kept in separate cages now.

hao’s on top of binnie now, straddling the younger boy as he kisses him roughly. hanbin palms hao’s cock through his pants, causing a low moan to sound in his throat. 

you just watch them for a little while. your two perfect puppies.

you laugh out loud when you imagine the looks of the hongdae men if they had come home with you and seen this.

the sound of your laughter must startle hanbin and hao, because they break apart at lightning speed, back on their knees in front of you with their heads hung low in shame.

“sorry, mommy,” binnie says quietly. when hao remains silent, he smacks him on the hip.

“sorry, mommy,” hao says with a sigh before looking back up at you. “i just love you so much, is all. want everyone to know i’m yours.”

this sounds sweet. but it just makes your blood boil. hao knows how hard things have been for you lately. he knows your new boyfriend dumped you last week after finding out about your puppies, and he knows how you really need both of their support right now. he knows this was supposed to be a fun night for you filled with partying and drinking and void of protest and questioning from your ungrateful puppies. but he’s choosing to bring this up now anyway. and that just won't do.

“mommy loves you, puppy,” you respond warmly, wrapping your arms around hanbin and hao and pulling them to your chest. “mommy loves you both more than words can describe.”

“binnie loves mommy,” the dimpled boy mumbles happily into your breast. “mommy loves binnie.”

“hao really, really loves mommy,” hao asserts, kissing your collarbone gently. and again. and again. he catches your eye, daring to smirk up at you.

“i know,” you say suddenly. you feel the boys tense beneath your embrace. it’s not often that you refer to yourself out of role, but when you do... 

it usually means there's hell to pay.

“but there are rules,” you continue, clucking your tongue at the boys in shame. “rules that you agreed to at the start of this. and you know what happens when you break the rules.”

“wait, no, i—,” hao stammers, pulling back from you in fearful protest. “i wasn’t questioning you. i mean, i was, but i... i was— i was just—...”

you stand up, grabbing your disobedient puppy by the collar and leading him firmly yet calmly to his cage.

“please! please, mommy,” hao begs as you lock the door to his crate. he looks up at you, eyes shining with despair. “wanted mommy to touch hao. haohao was so good when mommy was away.”

“i’m sure you were,” you reply succinctly, refusing to look at him. instead, you pull hanbin by the arm and position him right in front of hao’s cage. you undo the button on his pants, pulling them down and shoving him to the ground. he’s so hard that his cock is visibly throbbing. you pull your panties to the side, sinking down onto him as he lets out a strangled whimper. 

hanbin looks up at you in awe as you grab a fistful of his soft hair, caressing his cheek with your free hand. he grabs your hips, squeezing them gently as you begin to bounce up and down on him. 

“STOP!” hao yells, fingers laced between the metal of the cage door, gripping so tightly his knuckles are turning white. “stop! this isn’t—... this isn’t fucking fair!”

he sounds like a child as he continues to complain about the situation he's put himself in. 

“i want to cum, too,” hao whines, thrashing angrily. you look over at him, an obvious tent in his pants as tears start to well in his eyes from an overwhelming sexual frustration. “please, i want—!”

“oh my god,” hanbin cries as the sight of hao like this makes you clench around him. he runs a hand over his face and through his hair as he desperately tries to hold on. but your most obedient puppy’s resolve is fading fast. “please, mommy.”

you grab his jaw, forcing him to look at you as you shake your head.

he blinks back at you, dumbfounded. “(y/n)...”

you’ve never granted either of them the privilege of using your name before. but you’re so angry with hao. you really want this to hurt. 

you dare to glance over at him from where he’s watching in his cage. he’s gone completely silent. 

and now he’s really crying. not just horny tears.

he’s looking at you like you’ve betrayed him.

and it makes you feel so much worse than you thought it would. hao is an unappreciative brat with an incessant need to wear on your mental state.

but you fucking love him.

you love them both.

“gonna cum for you, baby,” hanbin says, turning your attention back to your other precious puppy. “love you so fucking much, (y/n). wanna drown in your perfect fucking pussy.”

“fill me up, binnie,” you grant him permission, covering his lips in yours as his hips stutter; his pretty moan echoing into your mouth as he paints your walls. “i love you, puppy.”

he looks up at you, smile lines and dimples deep enough to charm your panties off, if you weren’t already stuffed full of his cock. blissfully, he says, “i want everyone to know, too.”

your brow furrows in confusion. “what?”

“i want everyone to know that i’m yours and—,” hanbin starts to explain until he sits up abruptly, staring in the direction of hao's cage. “where’s hao?”

you turn to your left to find that your puppy that's supposed to be wallowing in punishment is nowhere to be seen. the cage door is slightly ajar and the human-sized dog crate: empty.

your heart drops to your stomach. had he run away?

no, no, no. this can’t be happening, you think as hanbin slides himself out of you, pulling his pants up and running down the spiral staircase to search the first floor. you just sit there, frozen in panic.

"he's—... he's not here," hanbin calls up to you hesitantly. "do you want me to call him?"

Unfortunately, despite whatever they said about relationships, they always ended easily; with a handshake and about a three-hour karaoke session where I poured my heart and soul into singing the most awful breakup songs known to man, while Minghao looked on in despair. No, more often than not, my breakups sound like a boring business discussion, where my exes and I meet over a cup of coffee or a business lunch, and discuss the matter of our collaborative project (relationship) going forward. 

And every time it’s the same reason, one that I am sick of hearing—you’re too cold for a human. 

“This is false,” I had moaned over my morning cup of coffee, “I’m a divorce lawyer, for god’s sake. I’m not an unfeeling robot like they make me out to be.”

“Maybe tone down the arguing and the obsessing over details,” Minghao had commented, sipping on his tea, “then the allegations will drop.”

Which brought us to this day, where it has been three years, six months, and five days since I began seeing Kim Cheong-hee, and thirteen days since he had gotten down on one knee and proposed marriage in front of a restaurant full of people. It was not my style, but I took it in stride, tamping down the feeling of discomfort and general squeamishness that came with the territory. 

It has also been exactly eleven minutes since I found out conclusive proof of my fiance cheating on me. 

Look, I’m not bothered by this. Men cheat. Women cheat. If they didn’t, I would not have been able to put down a deposit on my flat. Marriages dissolve all the time, because of one reason or the other. But apparently litigating in civil court over the dissolution of marriages does not mean one gets used to the sight of their fiance in bed with another woman. Or the sight of their wedding invitations lying on the table, apparently. Just how much of an asshole was this guy?

“Yewon,” he holds up his hands, “look, I can explain.”

“Is that why you asked me to get married to you that lazily?” I scoff, even as the woman in question scurries from the room, “I mean, semi-expensive restaurant, candlelit dinner, ring on top of the desserts. Too unimaginative, even for a man who spent his entire life fixing spreadsheets for a mid-sized company.”

“Hey,” He stands up, and I cringe at the sight of his naked body, “demeaning my work? Isn’t that a bit too much, even for you?”

“Sorry, old habits die hard.” I shrug, removing the ring from my hand, “I know your mother pushed you to continue seeing me. I knew you were never really interested in the first place. Even the whole proposal mess was her idea, not yours. She wanted a hotshot attorney with political proximity as her daughter-in-law, so she forced you to date me. Wait, is that why you wanted to come to those dinners so badly? Did you really think politics was your place?”

He says nothing. It's all true, then. Dating me when he really did not give a shit about me, is that why I liked the relationship in the first place? Having something in my life without really having to work for it, that's what I wanted. I can't even blame him for continuing this mess for so long—I was an active participant. 

“Doesn’t mean you get to string me along for three years, without even thinking of the consequences.” I sigh, placing the ring down on the table, “is she pregnant? Is that why you're marrying her?”

He nods. 

“And when, pray, were you going to tell me?” I grimace, “at the altar via video call?”

“Look, Yewon, I tried telling you—”

“I can sue you for this, you know that, right?”

He shuts up. He was arguing with me so passionately even a moment ago, but all that went out of the window when I brought up money. I snort, “Look, I don’t care. Just make sure you have nothing in my apartment by tomorrow morning.”

He nods, and I turn back to walk out of the bedroom. Outside, on the sofa, I look at the woman in question, who looks fairly mutinous at having to deal with a random woman barging into her boyfriend’s place and interrupting their time together, all the while claiming to be his fiance. Well, technically, I was his fiance at the moment; he just didn’t tell me he also had another one. “Don’t worry,” I bow politely, “I don’t care about men like that.”

The first thing that comes to my mind as I close the door behind me is — ah, so that was why he did not sleep with me. 

—

“That was the question on your mind?” Minghao says, in disbelief, as I devour a leg of fried chicken, “not why the hell did my fiance have another woman on the side, but why did he not have sex with me?”

“To be fair, he dated her first, then started meeting me because his mother set him up and he really couldn't say no to her," I shrug, “if we get into semantics, I was the other woman, except I had no idea about it.”

Minghao presses his temples, “and why the hell would you think back to having sex with him?”

“No, I did not have sex with him,” I shake the chicken leg at him, “at first, I thought he was saving himself for marriage or whatever. Then I thought he was closeted, which was fine by me.”

“How the hell is being closeted fine with you—”

“Then I realised he just did not want to have sex with me,” I say, shrugging, “not important anymore, really. If I knew he had a girlfriend, I would not have spent so much time thinking about his sexuality. I spent so much time thinking I had something fundamentally wrong with me because he would not sleep with me.”

“Did you want that?” Minghao looks at me, expression unreadable, “did you want him to sleep with you?” 

I make a face, “not really, no. The thought of being touched by that man was so disgusting, I had to avoid him in the beginning. Then I realised he didn’t have any interest in sleeping with me, so I gave up on avoiding him.”

“So you didn’t sleep with him at all, for all these years?” Minghao shakes his head, “this seems a bit much, even for you.”

“You’re talking to the woman who has never slept with anyone in her life, so no, this is not out of the ordinary,” I shrug, “I just find the act slightly disgusting.”

“Sex?”

“Yes, that.”

“Very well,” Minghao shrugs, setting down his phone to pick up a piece of chicken, “what do you plan on telling your family?”

I freeze. Right. I had forgotten about that. Telling my family means I have to be entirely truthful with them, and tell them about the disaster that was the relationship, the proposal, and the subsequent betrayal. They already thought I had a borderline personality disorder, this will land me in a hospital, if I’m being generous. My father might even have a heart attack. “I had not thought about that. My mother is going to kill me.”

“Prosecutor Kim?”

“Prosecutor Kim, yeah, that woman.” I groan, “she’s going to kill me. She hates it when I keep things from her, and I broke up with Cheong-hee without even consulting her in the first place, she’s going to kill me. My father will have a heart attack, and my sister is going to get me admitted for a check-up. My life is ruined.”

“Then?”

“Look, if worst comes to worst, I’ll just tell my mother I broke up with him over something trivial. Instead of telling her he had me as a side piece while he was off having the best time with the love of his life. Or that he dated me entirely because he was so much of a mama’s boy he couldn’t even tell her about his girlfriend.”

Minghao makes a low whistling noise, “I feel sorry for the girl actually, being stuck with Kim Cheong-hee for life.”

“I do not,” I shrug, “she’s an adult, not some poor child who got taken advantage of. The only person who’s getting the short end of this arrangement is their child. His mother will never forgive the child for ruining her chances of having a lawyer for a daughter-in-law, and eventually that resentment is going to seep into their married life as well. There’s nothing to be done anymore, but I do feel bad for the child.”

“What’s this, Choi Yewon, top divorce lawyer of Hwaseong, daughter of Professor Choi and Prosecutor Kim, is expressing sympathy?” Minghao gasps, “this is a new emotion.”

“Shut up, Minghao,” I grumble, “I’ve seen this exact playbook too many times to not recognise it instantly. Couple gets married because they’re pregnant and well, raising a child out of wedlock is not advisable, and everyone starts resenting the child for ruining their plans. I’m sure Cheong-hee will be thinking whatever his mother is thinking a few years down the line.”

“You’re saying he’s going to resent his fiancee, or wife, or whatever, a few years later?”

“I hope he does not, but statistically, there is not a lot of chances where that does happen,” I sigh, “sometimes I wish I had been a criminal lawyer instead of a family lawyer. At least then I would not be looking at the worst parts of society every day.”

“If you were a criminal lawyer, you would think of everyone as potential criminals, and act accordingly,” Minghao stands up from the table, “so, do you want to crash on my couch, or should I call a taxi for you?”

“It’s three in the morning, dumbass, I’m not paying premium prices to go to my home,”  I mutter, “just give me some of your pajamas, I’ll sleep here tonight.”

“Don’t you have work tomorrow morning?” Minghao asks, but he’s already going off to his room to get clothes for me, “should you really be spending the night here at my place?”

“One of the few perks of being the genius at work, is that I get to roughly choose my own hours,” I smile as he hands me his sleeping shorts, “one of the only perks, that is. I barely get enough sleep, but at least I can come in at eleven in the morning and no one bats an eye.”

“That’s also because you don’t go home until ten at night,” he grunted, putting away the remnants of the fried chicken, “who told you to work this hard?”

“Staying in until ten at night got you the all-expenses paid trip to Bali last year, you buffoon,” I called out, before retreating into his spare room, “I spend all my disposable income on you, you dumbass.”

“Point taken. Please stay in until eleven at night from tomorrow, Miss Attorney.”

“Opportunistic asshole,” I mutter, “you’re giving me a neck massage every night then.”

When I emerge from his room dressed in his sleep shorts, Minghao is leaning on the wall opposite mine, staring at his phone. He slips his phone into his pocket, staring at me, “why the hell do you look even uglier than before?”

“Shut the fuck up, dumbfuck,” I grumble, walking back out into the kitchen, “what are you looking at? New appointment?”

“Yeah, someone has their bridal photoshoot scheduled for tomorrow, so I’m just going over the brief,” Minghao says, showing me a presentation of floral designs and happy couples, “they’ve changed their needs at least three times, so I am wary of  making permanent decisions. No idea if they’ll even like this one.”

“Do you have a contract?”

“No, why?”

I stare at him, “you know what, you deserve it. You  deserve to be mooched off of.”

“Don’t say that,” Minghao laughs, “it was a favour someone called in for them. Nothing I could do.”

“Just say no, you asshole.”

He shakes his head, then walks into his room. I sigh, then move out of the kitchen and into the guest room. Minghao can’t resist doing a favour, as usual. He’s been doing favours for people ever since we were in university, and even now, years later and with several awards to his name, he’s still doing the same favours for the same people who think it’s fine to treat him like garbage. And on top of that, he won’t even let me intervene. 

—

“Attorney Choi,” my secretary peeks her head into my room, “your mother is here.”

I stare. What do you mean my mother is here? “Are you sure it's her?” I ask, suddenly aware of the day-old suit I was wearing, because Minghao did not have a suit in my size I could borrow, “it’s my mother? Prosecutor Kim? That woman?”

“Pretty sure it’s her, given how famous she is,” The paralegal grins, “she says she’s here to meet her daughter, and you’re the only woman in the office today.”

I sigh, feeling a headache come along. I did not need this, not on top of all my responsibilities that were waiting for me, “should I go to the visitor’s lounge, or is she going to come here?”

“I asked her the same thing,” my secretary replies, sheepish, “but she said she knew the way herself, and—” the telltale sound of a pair of high heels echoing down the corridor, “she’s here.”

With that, she escapes, scurrying off to finish whatever tasks I had assigned to her, and my mother opens the door to the office, walking in as though she owned the whole place. Well, I think, given the amount of power she still has, she might as well own Hwaseong entirely. “Yewon.”

“Yes?” I say, far too sharply for my own comfort. “What brings you here this morning, mother?”

My mother, never one to waste too much time on an introductory statement, dives right off the deep end, “Tell me why Cheong-Hee's mother called me this morning and told me the wedding was off.”

“Uh…” I sigh, “tea?”

“I am not here to drink tea, I want to know why I had to hear of your breakup from a third-party, instead of the person herself.”

I sigh, no point in hiding anymore, I guess, “Cheong-hee is getting married.” I say, pouring out a cup of coffee for myself, “he told me last night that he was getting married to the woman he was originally pursuing a relationship with.”

The expression on my mother’s face is interesting, because it’s a cross between wondering whether or not she’s heard it correctly and wanting to kill Cheong-hee for his transgressions, “what do you mean by that, Yewon?”

“I mean, he had a girlfriend all along, it's just that his mother did not approve of her very much,” I say, shrugging, “so he went along with her and dated me, but he found out she was pregnant, so I broke it off.”

My mother looks like she’s turning over my words in her mind, “so, you are telling me, that boy went along with whatever his mother said, and dated you for three years—”

“Three years, six months, and five days,” I mutter underneath my breath. 

“—and never, not once, did he have the decency to admit to you, or your family, that he had a steady girlfriend on the side?” She’s seething now, but not at me, “I need to sue him. What the hell did he think would happen?”

“He’s not worth much to be sued over,” I take a seat across from her, “I took a look at his taxes last year, he has more debt than he has assets.”

“So, no to suing, I think,” she shrugs, “did you see the woman he was with?”

“She was in the bed with him, actually,” I cringe, and my mother cringes, because it is never very comfortable to be talking about anyone’s sexual activities with your mother, let alone your ex-fiance’s, “and I think she knew who I was. At least she seemed to know me.”

“She probably went along with the whole thing just to appease that buffoon of a boy,” my mother says, “and you wasted all those years on him, just to find out you were the second woman all along. What a family.”

“Well, I did not waste time on him,” I make a face, “he was my boyfriend, not my whole life.”

My mother stares at me, and it’s the same kind of stare that I have been at the receiving end of, so often, the one that says, are you sure that is the case? “I mean,” I hurry to do damage control, “I was disappointed, really. And angry at being deceived. But that was it. Nothing more.”

“Nothing more,” My mother repeats, although she does not look like she believes me at all, “very well, then. Your father is terribly upset over this.”

“Wait, Father is upset?” I stand up, “don’t tell me he’s gotten sick again, the doctor told him to not be in stressful situations—”

My mother raises a hand to silence me, “I’ll worry about your father, not you. Have you thought of a second plan?”

“Second plan?” I make a face, “mother, it’s not like I put a down payment on a house or something. I didn’t even have concrete wedding plans with the man. I do not need a second plan.”

“You do realise, you’ve got about thirty different parties to attend for the upcoming election season?”

I groan. Of course they were going to bring that up. “My brother-in-law is the politician, not my sister. She’s a judge. I don’t even need to bring a plus one to those events. I’ll be fine.”

My mother levels a stare. I sigh. Of course I have to bring a date to those events. Everyone does, and apparently, everyone in my sister’s circle knew about the fact that I was dating and almost engaged to a man. They just didn’t know who. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“I’ll come up with a proper cover story. Don’t worry, I’m not going to advertise the breakup to the whole nation,” My mother says, standing up from the couch, “but make sure you’re prepared for any questions that might go your way.”

“From nosy aunties?”

“They’re richer than we can ever imagine being,” my mother scolds, but she’s smiling, “but yes, nosy aunties.”

“What if I just get a date?” I say suddenly, fully aware of how desperate I am, “look, no one knows who Cheong-hee is, right? I did not bring him to any parties or dinners. I’ll just get someone else to come along with me, and it’ll be fine.”

“Never mind, you’re going to a hospital.”

“Mother!” I squawk, “ugh, fine, I’ll just tell them I’m broken up or something like that.”

“Yeah, better stick to the truth. You are a terrible liar,” and with that, Prosecutor Kim is out of my office, leaving me behind in my stupid little chair and a stupid cup of coffee in my hands.

The next fundraising dinner for my brother-in-law was in a week, and it would take a miracle for me to get a date by then. Now, everyone is going to ask me why I did not have a fiance on my arm, and I’ll have to play the role of the dumped woman, drawing a sharp contrast to my sister and her perfect family and perfect life, while all I chased was money and professional goals. Not even a corporate lawyer or a prosecutor—that's what they said behind my back, she’s just a family lawyer. Why does she behave like that, then? In comparison to my father, the law professor, my mother, the prosecutor, and my sister, the judge, all my achievements seemed paltry. I should at least get someone to show off if I wanted to be considered to be on the same level as them. 

—

The rest of the day goes by in the same manner. I take a look at multiple depositions, advise three clients, and sour the general mood of the office with my scowls. At one point, my secretary comes up to me and asks if I am on my period. If so, she could get me painkillers to help with the pain and discomfort. I dismiss her with a wave of my hand. If my headache could be magicked away with painkillers, I would be the first in line. No, instead of painkillers, I’m stuck rifling through depositions long past nine in the evening, long after everyone else has gone home for the night. I refuse to order food, hoping the growing hunger in my stomach provides sufficient motivation to be done with my work as soon as possible. 

It is eleven at night when my phone rings, with a call from Minghao. I picked it up on the second ring, “Hello, Choi Yewon.”

“Still at the office?” Minghao’s tone seems bored almost, but nonetheless, concerned for my health and sanity, “this much overworking cannot be good for the heart, Yewon.”

“I have not had my dinner yet, so save the lecturing until then,” I mutter, “how was the photoshoot?”

“Fortunately, she said yes to the concepts and did not ask me to change everything and begin from scratch,” he sighs, “I swear, if she had told me to make one single correction, I would have been on the news for murder in the second degree by now.”

“Careful, Minghao, I’m not a criminal lawyer,” I sigh, “hey, do you mind getting me food?”

—

“Refresh my memory,” Minghao says, about half an hour later, picking up a piece of chicken, “your mother came to your office? Prosecutor Kim?”

“She did,” I mutter, “wanted to know why the hell did she get to hear about my engagement failing from Cheong-hee’s mother, and not from me.”

“Sheesh,” He grimaces, “not the best decision, to keep her in the dark. What was she like?”

“Surprisingly nice about the whole thing,” I reply, still struggling to understand this action of my mother. “She said she wanted to sue him and his family.”

“He went into debt because of crypto. He asked you for money last year. What money does he even have?” Minghao says. 

“Precisely why I cannot even sue him,” I shrug, “he’s not worth anything at all.”

“What else did she say?”

“She was worried about all the comments I would get,” I reply after a beat, “because of the upcoming fundraisers.”

Minghao drops the piece of chicken he has been holding, and I know what he realises—reputation is key. Even as the terrible child, the constant disappointment, I was expected to live up to some expectations, no matter how lowered they were for my own benefit. And for those standards, being without a fiance, especially when I had told everyone about the existence of one, was a mistake. A mistake that might as well cost my brother-in-law his political career. Minghao nods, and I mimic the gesture. There needs to be a fiance, or at the very least, someone who will serve their purpose on my arm. 

“You need a boyfriend,” Minghao finishes my thoughts, nodding gravely, “or at least a date.”

“My mother thought the idea was preposterous,” I grimace, “but the thing is, I need to have a date on my arm. If I don’t, then people start talking about me. And I need people to not talk about me as much as possible.”

“Did Prosecutor Kim think the idea was ridiculous?”

“Half of it is because the idea itself was so preposterous she did not think it was feasible,” I reply, “I mean, getting a boyfriend in a week? Who does that? Even if I paid someone, they wouldn’t.”

“Yewon.”

“And look, I know how long it took for me to even like Cheong-Hee enough to go on a date with him of my own volition,” my hands are shaking now, “it will be difficult to get even a singular date, much less someone willing to put up with my family’s expectations and their status.”

“Breathe, Yewon,” Minghao is holding my hands now, his face close to mine, breathing loud enough to distract me, “concentrate on the breathing, Yewon, in and out.”

“Shut up,” I smack him with a pillow, “I can take care of myself this much.”

“Does not look like it,” He grins, but leans back anyway, “so, do you have any particular qualities you’re looking for?”

“In a relationship?” I ask, “you know the list, right?”

“Yeah, the 시발 놈 list,” Minghao sighs, “you do realise how stupid the name is?”

“Yes, and it has the list of my preferred traits in a romantic partner, so I’m not changing it,” I grumble, “and they’re not even outrageous demands, you know. What am I asking for?”

Minghao sighs, before counting my conditions off the top of his head, “the man has to have a good job, must be good with housework, must be compatible with my family, must be respectful of my personal space—you think there are men who actually fit all these demands?”

“I’m merely asking of them whatever they ask of me,” I shrug, “nothing more than what will be expected of me, if I were to pursue a relationship with them. I’m expected to be the perfect wife, the perfect girlfriend, with a perfect career and family. Why can’t I expect the same of the person I am going to be shackled to for the rest of my life?”

“Don’t say it like that,” Minghao groans, “don’t say shackled like you’re going to be forced to spend your life with the guy. You have a degree of choice in the person you live with.”

I stare at him, “Minghao, I really don’t think you are the person who should be lecturing me about my dating life and activities.”

“At least I’ve managed to get some in the past decade, unlike you.”

“Hey!” I sat up indignantly, “Take that back!”

Minghao takes a look at my face, no doubt sporting the angriest expression it can muster, and dissolves into laughter. I stare at him, my best friend of twelve years, six months, and ten days, who’s currently laughing himself sick on my office sofa. He’s been through it all—watched me move through university and law school and then struggle to prepare for the bar. He’s been a part of my family too; Prosecutor Kim loves him, and even Professor Choi approves of him enough to let me continue being my friend. He rarely approves of my relationships. My sister and my brother-in-law also love him, the award-winning photographer Xu Minghao who was somehow best friends with their disappointing little sister. Minghao was… perfect. 

“Minghao,” I say, grinning, “Xu Minghao.”

He looks up, and immediately goes on the defensive, “Yewon, whatever you are thinking, don’t do it.”

“I haven’t even told you what I am thinking about!”

“The last time you made that face at me, we spent the night in jail,” Minghao warns. “Don’t even think about it.”

“It was not my fault!”

“Why the hell did we end up in jail in the first place? Because you took us there! You got me into trouble!”

“Look,” I raise my hands, “this is not going to land you in jail. It’s a small favour, really. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing too bad for you to be worrying over, just a little ruse that I need you to partake in.”

“Ruse—” Minghao’s face turns white as a sheet when he realises exactly what I mean, “no, Yewon. You cannot be thinking about that. I refuse.”

“Why the hell would you do that?” I make a face, “it’s a perfectly fine proposition, a great one, even. You get proper exposure and expand your social circle, and I get to throw nosy aunties off of my back for once in my life.”

“So you want me to pretend to be your fake boyfriend?” Minghao sputters. “Do you not see how ridiculous this sounds? And do you think we can fool the Professor and the Prosecutor? They’re going to see through this little ruse as soon as we come up with it.”

“They won’t,” I grin, “because they like you too much. If I told them I was dating you, they’d likely welcome it with open arms, or give you a lecture about not dating women like me. I know them.”

Minghao frowns, “why do you speak like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like your entire family hates you or something like that. You’re going into every situation with the preconceived notion that people will hate you.”

“Look, Minghao, we can think about psychoanalysing me later, okay?” I grin, “focus on the goal in front of us right now, yeah? You need to get more exposure, and I need to get people to think I still have a boyfriend, and I have not managed to scare him off, as I usually do.”

“I don’t need exposure,” Minghao makes a face, “unless you forgot, I am one of the few people in Korea who won both the Higashikawa Prize and the China International Press Photo Contest. I don’t need the exposure.”

“And even though you’ve gotten the awards, you’re still doing bridal photography for favours,” I scowl. “Do you know how much money these people have? They have more money than is entirely necessary for anyone to live on, and the funny thing is, they think it’s their birthright to own obscene amounts of wealth.”

“You are not exactly poor, you know.”

“We’re working class.” I reply, saying the words working class like it's a slur, which it might as well be, given how many times I have heard the same phrase being uttered in galas, you’re working class, Choi Yewon, no matter how much money you make, you’ll always be working class. 

“How is owning a house in the middle of Seoul considered working class?”

“These people do not work!” I exclaim, too loudly, “Minghao, these people do not work. They wake up, go golfing, then go out to lunch, golf again, go shopping, and then go out to dinner. These people are people of leisure, like some obscure Victorian-era relic. They’re not spending days in the office like my parents or my sister and her husband;. they are people of leisure. So yes. I would argue you need to make those connections, and milk them for as much money as you can.”

“Isn’t that extortion?”

“I prefer the term ‘due compensation’,” I grin, “and yeah, getting you to pretend to be my boyfriend is not exactly the most moral of acts, but it’s only a hundred days to the election, and I need the focus to be entirely on my brother-in-law. Do you know how much money his opponents have invested in the election?”

“I can imagine,” Minghao says dryly, and sighs, “only for a hundred days?”

“A hundred days, and then we can break up peacefully.”

“Wait, can we still remain friends after we’ve broken up?” He asks, “or is that a bit too much?”

“We’ll be like Americans, you know. They stay friends even after divorcing.”

“So, this fake break-up will involve what?” Minghao asks, wary, “are you going to swindle me again?”

“I will not land you in jail, Xu Minghao,” I say, irritated, “you can even cuss me out in public or whatever, if you want. After the breakup, that is.”

“You know very well I would not do that,” He groans, then holds my hands, “you know what? Why the hell not. At least I’ll get money out of this.”

He was working in Italy, getting valuable skills from the masters. You were still stuck in your hometown, going to the same university everyone else in your family had gone to, trapped in the same system. You wanted to get out, prove yourself, do something meaningful with your life. But did you even have the talent to? Were you even worth it?

On nights where your thoughts just wouldn’t leave you alone, you grabbed a handful of Hao’s letters and walked up the hill back to the spot where you used to watch the sunrise with him. You missed him more than anything. Without his presence, you felt lost. There was no one to ground you, no one to reassure you, no one to believe in your flimsy dreams.

You hadn’t received a new letter in a while, and you were starting to wonder if it was a post issue, or if Hao was too busy to write. You hoped you would get one soon. It was the start of Winter already, and a breeze blew past you, causing a chill to run up your spine. You hugged Hao’s old jacket closer on your body. It must be even colder in Italy…

You slid one of the old letters out from its envelope. You were always careful to keep everything intact. From the colourful wax seals to the elegantly written address, to the coarse texture of the fancy paper, everything about it was precious to you. Hao was always meticulous, and his presence could be felt from every detail of the card.

Tiánxīn, how are things back at home? Lonely. 

How is your writing? Did you finish the last 3 chapters you were struggling to write? I finished the final draft last Saturday. Are you proud of me?

I’m doing well here, although I never stop missing you. At least one feeling is mutual. 

It’s the beginning of Spring as I write this, and the flowers are starting to bloom. Every pink bud reminds me of you. How are you always so romantic, Zhang Hao?

I taught some kids how to hold a violin properly the other day— one of them almost dropped it. I swear my life flashed before my eyes. If they had broken it, I could’ve gotten kicked out. They don’t know that they’re handling a piece of wood worth thousands of dollars. As much as it scared me in the moment, spending time with the kids cheered me up. Childhood innocence is an endearing thing, don’t you think? It is. Is it bad that I wished you had gotten kicked out just so I could see you sooner? I want you to tell me everything about Italy with your own voice.

I’m starting to find beauty in things that used to annoy me. It’s a strange feeling, but I think I could get used to it. The flowers used to only make me sneeze, but now they’re a gentle reminder of who I’m living every day for. Children used to get on my nerves, but now I can only think of your baby pictures. I keep working hard every day hoping that I’ll get a break to come visit soon. I’ve been saving up for tickets. Hopefully before Winter, I’ll be back in your arms. It’s Winter now… I miss your arms around me.

Ever yours,

Hao

You could only sigh and blink back the tears that had formed on your waterline. Why did he make you miss him so much? You sniffed, from the emotions and from the cold. It was getting even later in the night, and while you didn’t want to leave your special spot, you also needed sleep.

When you got back to your cheap apartment, you sprayed some of Hao’s perfume on your pillow and changed into pyjamas. It was funny how much time went into hunting for the exact fragrance he wore; but you had been thankful for it every single day since you bought it. Any way you could to bring traces of him back to your home was worth it. You fell asleep hugging the pillow tightly and hoping that he would grace you in your dreams. 

A soft puff of air hit your nose making you scrunch it up. It woke you out of your slumber, but not enough to open your eyes yet. You were in a confused bleary state trying to figure out where it came from. You definitely didn’t leave the fan on in the middle of Winter, so why…?

“Tiánxīn, wake up.” 

You blinked your eyes open slowly, furrowing your eyebrows as the view came into focus. Light from the morning sun shone through the window, cascading down until it hit the side of a face. Hao’s face.

“Am I still dreaming?” You whispered. A lump formed in your throat at the thought that you were— you must be. How could he be right in front of you? He was still far away in Italy.

He shook his head, a smile splayed on his lips. He moved closer, his weight dipping down on the bed. You could only stare, memorising everything about him. His eyelashes fluttered as his gaze dropped to your hand and he reached to hold it. His hands were warm and the skin of his palm was soft, although his fingertips were roughened by calluses after years of playing strings. He cupped your cheek with his other hand, brushing his thumb against your skin.

“I missed you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to come visit.” He frowned slightly as he saw tears start to build in your eyes. You squeezed his hand, as if still deciphering whether he was actually real. It had truly been years since he had first gone for his apprenticeship and then got accepted full time to make violins and teach. Although you had communicated through letters, it could never compare to being with him like this. 

“It’s okay.” You tried to steady your voice, force the lump in your throat down, blink back the tears. But you couldn’t with him right there.

“Don’t cry.” He wiped your tears carefully, his touch soft as always.

“Kiss me. Please?” 

And he obliged. He would always do anything within his power to see you happy. If you told him one day to fly to the moon and bring you back a piece of it, he was sure he would find a way, just to see you smile. The feeling of kissing him again was indescribable. You’d forgotten how it felt to be kissed by his soft lips, how they melded with yours like a dream. As if you two were meant to be.

You knew you always were. Your love story, although it sometimes felt tragic, was like something out of a fairytale. You would never forget the lengths Hao went just to get your attention. How ambitious, determined, and caring he was. He was your constant motivation to keep striving to be better. 

It was hard to live for your dream while being so far apart from him. Part of you knew that he would have to go back. Maybe in a month, maybe in only a week. Maybe sooner than that. Your heart would break once again saying goodbye to him.

But, for now, as he kissed you in the morning sunlight on your bed, you felt your heart healing from his touch. The long years away from him were a small price to pay for moments as precious as these. 

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@emmylksblog,, @talkingsaxy,, @thesunsfullmoon,, @chenleszone,, @sxmmerberries,,

@cupidslovearrows,, @dimplewonie,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,, @mjupis,,

As for your new friend, you and Zhang Hao kept in touch as promised. He was present on your streams and you were on his. He made himself known by sending at least $50 and asking you to moan his name, which you happily did. Returning the favour, your name was moaned as well on his live, except you didn’t always have so much money to spend, but still did it anyway.

Unbeknownst to you, whenever Hao came across your videos or lives, his cock got inevitably hard. Normally, he wouldn’t have problems with erections, since he jerked himself off on camera almost daily, but ever since he met you, it’s like you put a spell on him. Sure, he spoke with girl on that site before, but you were the only one he looked forward to see post and had notifications on for.

Whilst for you, Hao was like your dirty little secret. You watched all of his streams, but didn’t always make yourself known. You gained a community pretty quickly, reaching 20k followers in the first month, and your fans shipped you with Hao together. It was common for either of you to recieve donations with pleads to collab.

@/sheloveshao: haha yn someone just send me $100

@/lovelyyn: damn?? so now u got money to ask me out or what

@/sheloveshao: r u saying i was broke before..? well i actually wanted to ask u out but now i dont wanna

@/lovelyyn: hao.. we still have that collab to do :)

It was quite obvious both of you avoided this subject. The thought of meeting with Zhang Hao in real life and “collabing” made your stomach hurt. After talking daily, you gained a liking for him. But since he was a camboy, he probably played with hearts too, so you resorted to just being friends. You face palmed yourself mentally for even bringing it up. Hopefully he won’t think of you as a creep.

@/sheloveshao: you’re right.. what if we met this weekend? if i’m not wrong you live about 20 mins from me

Your heart sank. You wanted to meet him, but at the same time didn’t. You were just too nervous!! Your celebrity crush but also crush but also friend wanted to come over, and both of you knew it would end up with him getting in your pants. That’s what you two do, after all. You didn’t know he was actually as nervous as you.

@/lovelyyn: i’m not opposed.. bring some red wine too.. I’ll have the camera ready ;)

Whew.. you tried so hard to sound as if it barely affected you but your legs were shaking while typing. At least that was done with, and you had 3 days to mentally prepare yourself.

Zhang Hao on the other hand, couldn’t be happier. Maybe happy is too strong of a word… he was definitely excited, both ways. He didn’t only plan to fuck you, but he wanted to surprise you with some sushi first, since he’s a gentleman after all. It wasn’t very manly of him, but he called his friend while kicking his feet. “Guess what, Hyuck.. i’m meeting y/n next weekend!” he exclaimed as soon as his best friend picked up. “What.. are you for real? How did that even happen?” Hao couldn’t wait to give all the details, he was probably more excited than you were. “Well.. it was her who asked in the first place. I came up with the time and she told me to get some wine and that she’ll have her camera ready.. so you know what that means” he giggled towards the end. “Yeah yeah, bring a pack of condoms,too, you sex freak. But don’t get too attached, if she’s a camgirl who knows how many guys she’s done this with” the words spoken by his best friend created a dent in his heart. I mean, were you really meaning to play with his feelings? Did he have feelings for you in the first place? Hao failed to understand how you got so deep into his brain. Sure, he talked to camgirls before, but you had something different. He could actually talk to you without you just asking to collab for his fame.

—

The remaining days went by in a blink, and Hao was knocking on the door of your apartment. He looked lime a child visiting his relatives. He had grey sweatpants on, an oversized black hoodie and a backpack. He was carefully holding a paperbag with sushi inside. He gulped when he heard the door unlocking.

“Hi” you smiled at him and welcomed him in. You weren’t dressed too fancy yourself, just shorts and a tshirt.

The two of you sat down at your table and started chatting. The awkwardness quickly disappeared as soon as Hao pulled the red wine out of his backpack.

“You’re so much more fun than i expected you to be” you tell him before sipping the last drops of wine in your glass. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?” he laughs back.

Although he seemed to have fun, Zhang Hao was still thinking about what his friend said. You two hadn’t actuallt done anything yet, but he was still scared. He knew he had to charm you well enough for you to like him back.

—

Much too many glasses were now empty, and the bottle was thrown somewhere on the ground. Next to it was Hao accompanied by you, laughing hysterically at everything and anything. The second mistake of the night, other than drinking so much, was turning your head to face him. You were met with his beautiful brown eyes and saw his hair falling to his forehead. His lips were plump and rosier than usual, and he had a gone look in his eyes.

You didn’t know if you should kiss him or not, but you definitely wanted to. It seemed as if he had read your mind. “Kiss me, pretty?” you didn’t wait a moment before attaching your lips to his, cupping his face in the process. His larger hands went to your waist, carefully throwing you on top of him.

Stranding his hips, the kiss got heated. This new position allowed you to feel the boner in his pants and to rub down on it. You knew you were doing it right when you felt him whimper in your mouth. Normally, Hao gave off a dominant energy in his livestreams, but now he was putty in your hands.

—

“Hao..” you whimpered from below him. In the meantime you moved to your bed, where the brunette boy took of your shirt as well as his hoodie. So far the two of you didn’t do anything other than kissing and biting each other’s skin. You made sure to leave some marks on Hao’s neck. Maybe it was wrong to think this way, but you felt like Zhang Hao should be your property, and that was the best way to show everyone else. And in return, he gave you the same treatment. You neck, chest and belly were covered in kisses and bite marks from the boy in question. He loved the way you grabbed at his hair while he was doing it so much that he just couldn’t stop.

“Should we film?” you asked in a half ironic tone. Hao’s head rose from the crook of your neck and for a second you swore you could see sadness in his eyes.

“I think i have a better idea, just wait, beautiful” he said before diving back into your lips.

—

You grew needier with each moment and the boy above you made it his mission to tease you. “Please, Hao, just fuck me already..” your voice was like a drug to him, and he obeyed immediately. Both of your clothes were gone in no time and he slid a condom in his throbbing cock.

He grabbed it in his hand, and rubbed his tip up and down your drenching pussy, teasing you further and admiring you. Obviously, he had seen you naked before, but you looked even better in real life.

Right before pushing in, he looked you in the eyes, silently asking for permission. “Yes, please..” you murmured.

He bottomed out and let out a sigh. That was the moment the both of you had been wanting for so long. None of you could believe what was actually happening and how good it actually felt.

As Hao was thrusting in and out of you, he grabbed his phone, recording a quick 5sec video of his cock disappearing inside of you and reappearing. He would need that later.

—

Altough it was the first time you two met, it seemed like you had known each other for eternity. Zhang Hao figured out your body in an instant and knew exactly how to get you off, and you knew exactly when to clench your muscles to help him get off as well. Furthermore, you both came at the same time, which had to mean something, right?

Zhang Hao plopped next to you, resting for a bit before cleaning you up with a towel. He then got in bed next to you, welcoming you into his arms. This definitely wasn’t casual…

“What are you planning to do with that video?” you asked him. He almost forgot

Zhang Hao posted said video on his account.

the duo you guys knew you needed <3 @/lovelyyn

Not even two minuted had passed that both of his and your phones started buzzing. People were liking, reposting and commenting on your joint post. “I think they liked it” you laughed. “I did too..” the boy next to you was happy to hear that, as he enjoyed every second himself.

—

It didn’t take you long to tap out, leaving Hao with you in his arms and a lot on his mind. You were even more wonderful than expected. You were kind, beautiful and smelled amazing. He definitely knew he wanted you. It was only a matter of time before he figured out how to ask you to be his girlfriend.

There were a lot of things Hao understood in life. How to solve complex equations, the intricate layers of classical music, the exact temperature at which coffee burned versus when it was just right—he was a genius in many ways.

Romance, however, was not one of them.

Which was why you found yourself staring at him in pure disbelief, arms crossed, as he remained completely oblivious to the fact that you had been trying to flirt with him for the last five months.

“Are you always this dense?” you asked, exasperated.

Hao blinked at you, lips parting slightly as if deep in thought before he shrugged. “Only every day of my life.”

You groaned. “I literally just said I think you’re cute, and you still don’t get it?”

“I get it,” Hao protested. “I just… didn’t think you meant it like that.”

You huffed, pushing his shoulder lightly. “How else would I mean it?”

“I don’t know! Maybe in a ‘cute-like-a-puppy’ way or a ‘cute-when-you’re-being-dumb’ way.”

You stared at him. “Hao. I have been dropping hints for months. Months.”

He frowned. “Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” you said sarcastically. “Maybe when I said, ‘If only my type wasn’t tall, musical, and named Hao.’”

“…That was a hint?”

“Oh my god—”

Hao finally laughed, his sharp eyes crinkling, and it wasn’t fair how attractive he looked. “I thought you were just making a joke.”

“I wasn’t!” you groaned.

His laughter softened into something more sincere, his head tilting as he studied you. “So, what you’re saying is… you like me?”

You threw your hands up. “Yes! Finally!”

A small, amused smile tugged at his lips. “Good.”

“…Good?” you echoed, narrowing your eyes.

“Yeah,” Hao said, stepping a little closer. His voice was warm, teasing. “Because I like you too.”

Your brain short-circuited. “You—wait. Wait. If you like me, then why—”

“I didn’t realize you liked me back,” he admitted, his smile sheepish. “I thought you were just nice.”

“I was flirting,” you said flatly.

“To be fair, I’m not the best at picking up signals,” Hao said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But… now that I know, should I make it up to you with a date?”

You crossed your arms, pretending to think about it. “Depends. Do I have to spell it out for you in the future, or will you finally get it?”

“I’ll try my best,” he promised, grinning.

You sighed dramatically before taking his hand. “Fine. But if you don’t kiss me by the second date, I’m going to start explaining things with charts.”