#hamlet headcanons

Polo & Claud

They're in a qpr. (link to a fic I wrote for a confession scenario) Claudius genuinely meant it when he told Laertes 'I loved your father', and Laertes understands implicitly - that's why he's willing to trust Claudius in their horrible plan. Claudius's remarkable loss of composure and strategy from Act IV onwards is directly and primarily caused by Polonius's death more than anything else.

I'm planning to do a separate essay on poloclaud eventually, so I'll just add a couple of highlights:

-They're always very happy to participate in and express approval for each other's plans. See: Claud's plan to send Hamlet to England which is approved by Polo, Polo's schemes to spy on Hamlet, and the like.

-They're used to asking for each other's approval, too. That's what Claud does when he's considering whether to approve of Laertes's leave, and that's Polo's whole schtick in Act II with "What do you think of me, my lord?"

-So, poloclaud depend on each other for validation, and trust the other to fulfil that need. Polo clearly cares super deeply about what Claud thinks of him.

-Claud is obviously a bit harder to read on that front. I think the outstanding moments are when he readily agrees to "be you and I behind the arras, then" (like what are you doing with your advisor in such an intimate concealed tight space. huh), when Polonius is the person to call for "lights, lights, lights" post-Mousetrap (He's probably dealt with Claudius's panic attacks before), and when they have this really soft conversation before the church/prayer scene

-The entire prayer scene exchange touches me so greatly. We have demonstration of trust on both sides, Polonius implicitly asking if Claud needs help, Claud waving it off and saying he's okay. And then Polonius is like "I'll meet with you before you go to bed". Like Okay. That Is A Very Specific Phrasing My Dear Advisor. Claudius of course readily agrees to it for reasons very apparent to me and you

-The fundamental reason that Claudius trusts Polonius so much and depends on Polonius for validation is because Polonius is the only person who (a) has closeness to Claudius and (b) isn't directly harmed by Claudius's crimes. Claudius's friendship with Polonius is "untainted", in Claud's eyes (we know he likes to use the taint metaphor from the church scene), so he has to trust Polonius and his judgement in order to convince himself that he's not an irredeemable monster, and spiral as a result!

-Polo is aware of what happened with Claud & HamSr but would like Claud to approach himself only when he's ready to confess. He doesn't do his signature espionaging during the church scene because he already deduced what Claud did based on the fact that he's going to church, his panic attack upon Mousetrap, and the like. He doesn't want to hurt Claud and risk Claud's breakdown by confronting Claud prematurely, and in doing so actually dooms them both. Heh.

Polo & HamSr

Polo was HamSr's advisor as well, though Claud also acted as advisor during the war. HamSr and Polo get along quite smoothly. A lot of people have pointed out that they have similarities of saying they'll be brief/have brevity and then go on a long rant. I find this endearing, and they surely bonded over this (link to relevant fic!). Suffice to say, they were best friends.

-Polo and HamSr were quite close as children. As much as HamSr doesn't want to admit it, he was rather melodramatic and theatre-kid-like, and so he and Polo got along in much the same way poloham get along in canon.

-HamSr was the one who encouraged Polo to go to college to dabble in a bit of theatre after the war was over. In fact, HamSr sent poloclaud to college together so that they could bond. He's a good wingman if nothing else...

-The war. Polo is quite attentive to the fact that HamSr became crueller and shorter-tempered and very, very difficult after the war. He's smart enough to know that it's the war's fault, which is why he volunteered himself for coordinating the diplomacy missions w/ Norway. He's more proficient than most people at talking HamSr out of one of his moods - only Gertrude does it better.

-HamSr couldn't sleep well after the war, and Polo can't sleep well due to his anxiety, so they take a lot of early-morning walks together through Elsinore, the battlements, and the orchard. They talk about a lot of things, but Polo knows that HamSr will clam up if he implies that the war has scarred him, so he does his best to make HamSr feel a little less on guard. In turn, HamSr doesn't question Polo's feelings towards Claudius so much either. But Polo still points out that HamSr isn't the happiest as king and feels constrained by his position, and they have a lot of therapeutic conversations about that.

-HamSr is very cognizant that he would make a worse father than Polonius, and this is why he entrusts Hamlet to be raised by others like Yorick - and Polonius, really. He sometimes yearns to be a more attentive father, but fears that Hamlet would end up like himself, bitter and unstable and violent, and so he entrusts Hamlet to Polo instead. (And Hamlet turned out to be like him anyway lol)

-Polo grieved for HamSr's death in private, mostly. He sensed that any mention of HamSr would upset Claud, and so kept things quiet with his own grief. But he visits HamSr's gravestone very often and leaves flowers.

-Polo has heard of rumours of HamSr's return as a ghost. He considered talking to HamSr, but he doubted that HamSr would provide any information that he couldn't deduce from Claudius. He was also unsure how much even more unstable HamSr would become if dead and vengeful. He decided that dead things would best stay buried - something that poloclaudhamsr all swore to each other around their teenage years.

-It's because Claud & HamSr's parents were physically and emotionally abusive and also forced Claud & HamSr to duel and hurt each other and Polonius found out via espionage which is why he decided to pursue the skill and the three of them ended up scheming to kill the horrible king and queen together and for a moment it was as if they had the world in their hands but things coalesce into a tragedy again and they repeat the cycle and nobody can save them

-Ahem. Where was I?

Polo & Gertrude

We know that, at the very least, Gertrude disapproves of Polo a bit: "more matter with less art". We also know that they seem to get along well enough to be on the same side regarding Hamlet's health. Gertrude also seems to care about Ophelia & Laertes after Polo dies.

One of my earliest Hamlet essays (link) was in fact about pologert being foils in their parenting. I was a good deal harsher to both of them than I am now - not because I thought poorly of them, rather because I felt the pressure to conform to how the Hamlet fandom by-and-large detests older gen. I've obviously grown a bit more confident in terms of staying true to my own self, since then!

-I've developed a fondness for pologert to have a friendly rivalry over winning Claudius's affections. They know each other well enough and know Claud well enough that they accept that Claud needs both of them. Polo is okay with stepping away when claudgert do allo things, and Gert is okay with stepping away when claudpolo do qpr things.

-Gert thought HamSr & Claud to both be total idiots upon first arriving at Elsinore, and it took her some time to get used to them, and then some more time to fall in love with either of them. She consulted Polo a lot in the early days about how Elsinore works and how to get along with the princes. Polo, in turn, was also glad to talk to someone who wasn't one of the two absolute idiot princes.

-Like HamSr, Gertrude also trusts Polonius to take care of Hamlet. When Hamlet runs to Gertrude about Polonius being 'mean' to him, Gertrude always correctly identifies that Hamlet is lying, because Polonius would never dare offend the crown prince that (a) has power over him and (b) he is incredibly fond of. Sometimes pologert joke about Polonius being Hamlet's real mom, because Hamlet is around him more than Gertrude.

-Polonius encouraged Gertrude and Ophelia to form a connection on both sides. Despite the values of misogyny he has internalized, he knows that it is incredibly ostracizing to have nobody like yourself to talk to, so he thought this bond useful for both people. Gertrude often tells Polo off when he's done something to hurt Ophelia, and Gertrude was also the person to teach Polo to apologize properly to his children when he is in the wrong. (That is why Polo apologizes to Ophelia in 2.1!)

-Pologert sit down for a nice cup of tea and maybe some of Polo practicing his dramatic line reading when HamSr & Claud are being insane as usual and they don't have other responsibilities.

-This just occurred to me: The way Gertrude grieved for Polo is similar to the way Polo grieved for HamSr. They both know it is a hugely sensitive topic around Claudius, so they keep it quiet and alone and at late night. The difference is that Gertrude knows that without Polo's help, Claudius will never recover from his own grief and anger and be irreversibly shattered. And so, as soon as Polo dies, Gertrude knows that the story will inevitably end in tragedy. This is why she's so muted towards Hamlet immediately after, why she drinks the poisoned wine, why she might've pushed Ophelia in a twisted attempt to save her from more nefarious threats, etc.

Polo & FortSr

They get along pretty well during Polo's diplomatic missions. FortSr appreciates having someone from Denmark who isn't as threatening as HamSr, though he does suspect that Denmark is a country of ramblers. Polo is unabashedly honest to FortSr about HamSr's many character flaws, and this was pretty useful in negotiating their peace agreement. They wrote regularly to each other about nonpolitical items (having children, etc) before FortSr died.

Polo & Rey

Kinda friends, definitely not partners. Spymaster and his assistant, who's slightly more spy, slightly less master. Boss and sidekick, patriarch and butler, consigliere and even-more-consigliere. It's them.

I will say, Will (heh): I read a lot of your Reynaldo content early on and my interpretation of Rey has been influenced a good deal by yours already! Somehow I haven't written my own polorey, though...gotta do that soon

-To recap how they properly met: HamSr & Claud know that Polo is horrible at cooking and wants to raise children. They assign the head cook of Elsinore to be his personal servant so that his children don't grow up with burned dinners. That head cook happens to be Reynaldo. Rey's about Claudius's age.

-Rey is a lot like Polo, even looking beyond the espionage. They both prefer to be non-confrontational when it comes to conflicts. They both have a love for acting - Polo would encourage Rey to go to college on Polo's money, but Rey'd rather stay with the family. They both like to inject a little amount of humour into the way they talk. They are both deeply concerned for the people around them - the 'family complex', if I could call it that - and they both struggle with expressing this concern in words. Rey tends to speak less when he is worried, while Polo tends to run his mind even more than usual.

-Suffice to say, they clicked as soon as they met. Rey adapted quickly to Polo's somewhat haphazard and chaotic manner (aka ADHD) and quirky quests, because Elsinore's kitchens were already quite chaotic. He's probably the best listener in Elsinore - and being a good listener is the best way to get close to Polonius's heart. Polonius takes a while to open up to Reynaldo completely about his anxieties - about HamSr, about Denmark, later about his children - and Reynaldo is very patient and takes it all in stride. It's very difficult to irritate this man, and Polonius finds (to his utter delight) that he doesn't have to stress himself out over proper presentation when talking to Reynaldo, and this means everything to him.

-It's very clear that - by canon - Polonius doesn't treat Reynaldo with any indication of class difference. Even the narration of Folger refers to him as Polo's "man", which is very poignant. He's Polonius's special little guy.

-While Polonius trusts Claudius to affirm and validate him, he trusts Reynaldo in a different manner - in that Reynaldo will always point out if he is being ridiculous (more so than usual, anyway) or tired or paranoid or what-have-you. He trusts Reynaldo to call him out, and this makes for very humorous situations when Laertes & Ophelia are around and Reynaldo joins in to roast Polonius. It's good that he realizes he needs humbling every now and then!

-Reynaldo had as much a hand in raising Laertes & Ophelia as Polo did. Polo (rightly) thinks that Rey is the sweetest nicest most whimsical parent in Elsinore, short of himself, and it warms his heart more than anything else to see the three of them happy together. Family is what Polo lives for, and Reynaldo is most certainly a vital part of what he considers his household and his family.

-When Polonius died, missive was sent from Claudius to Reynaldo^, who forwarded it to Laertes. Reynaldo was too stricken by grief, and asked Laertes for permission to remain in France for a while to sort himself out, which Laertes grants. By the time news of Ophelia's death and Laertes's duel reaches Reynaldo, he knows it's too late to do anything about it...but he also knows that Polonius would never blame him and Polonius would want him to live on. So he returns to Elsinore, gathers up what's left of the family's belongings, and seeks his own life. It's like Horatio's ending, somewhat; they're somewhat foils, I think?!

^claudrey had their own relationship which I will also need a separate headcanon post to elaborate on

(I’ll be using “allo” as a shorthand for “romantic and sexual” in this essay, as a note.)

So, let’s start on a broader scale. Thematically, Polonius is opposed to both of the major allo relationships depicted in the play. Ophelia & Hamlet? He tells them to break up. Claudius & Gertrude? Well, he doesn’t dare tell them to break up, obviously, but he does manage to pull Claudius away from Gertrude and stick with him for a while, plus Gertrude is clearly annoyed at Polonius potentially interrupting her time with Claud, with “more matter with less art” and all that. And Polo, not Gertrude, is the person Claudius talks to before the praying scene. Okay this is turning into a qpr plaud agenda (which would require a separate essay) but you all see what I mean right. Polonius stands in opposition to all allo relationships depicted in the play, in contrast to e.g. Hamlet (who opposes claudgert only) or Laertes (who opposes hamphelia only). So, thematically, he is already very much the antithesis to alloness.

Now, we can look at what Polonius has to say in his actual lines about romantic love and lust. The beloathed. I’ll just go through his lines in order. Let’s start with his advice to Laertes, which opposes lust and forming passionate emotional attachments to others:

Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar. Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel,

You might say this is merely period-typical purity standards, etc. Well, let’s see where we end up if we continue examining. What comes up next is his first conversation with Ophelia. Let’s take a look:

[POLONIUS] What is between you? Give me up the truth. [OPHELIA] He hath, my lord, of late made many tenders Of his affection to me. [POLONIUS] Affection, puh!

A very relatable experience for modern aspec people, no? Don’t you look at allo people doing allo things and think “what the fuck is this”? And they’re like "oh. This is being allo". And you’re like “Puh!”. Okay I am projecting but this is literally a common aspec experience. Let’s continue:

Do you believe his “tenders,” as you call them? [...] Ay, “fashion” you may call it. Go to, go to!

Air quotes around sex- and romance- related terms. Aspec syndrome at its finest. The choice of “fashion” to describe how quickly romantic love comes and goes also reflects how our lifelong friendships can be instantly devalued by your friend having allo attraction to somebody else. The classic aspec experience. Continuing:

[...] These blazes, daughter, Giving more light than heat, extinct in both Even in their promise as it is a-making, [...] In few, Ophelia, Do not believe his vows, for they are brokers,

Essentially “I don’t believe in romance and you shouldn’t either”. Literally me. And a lot of aspec people on this website, eh? At least the idea that romance isn’t the end-all be-all.

Now, I’m not saying that Polonius isn’t misogynist or isn’t hurting Ophelia in this scene! But the way that he phrases his arguments makes it read like he has something else going on additionally to period-typical standards. He’s not talking about purity or virginity – not explicitly, anyway – he’s talking about romantic love itself being unreliable and fleeting and should fundamentally be avoided. Doesn’t strike me as very allo...

Let’s move on to Act II. He thinks Laertes is being too slutty, but that doesn’t have to be the basis for my argument. Let’s examine his conversation with Ophelia again:

[POLONIUS] Mad for thy love? [OPHELIA] My lord, I do not know, But truly I do fear it. [POLONIUS] What said he?

The connection between madness and love occurs before Ophelia has completely explained the situation. Which, of course, is Polonius coming to hasty conclusions and talking over people – but also shows that he has an implicit association in his mind between love and madness. Aspec people: Have you ever thought “those allos are crazy”. Exactly. Let’s continue.

This is the very ecstasy of love, Whose violent property fordoes itself And leads the will to desperate undertakings As oft as any passions under heaven That does afflict our natures. I am sorry.

He’s saying that allo love is an affliction that is inherently harmful. Implication: We would be better off if allo love did not exist, or at least wasn’t so prioritized in society. Sound familiar yet? Again, as an aroace man: Literally me.

Okay, we have one aside line that is very important in doing any queer reading of Polo:

(aside) [...] And truly, in my youth, I suffered much extremity for love, very near this. I’ll speak to him again. [...]

There are so many ways to read this line. Does “for” mean “for the goal of” or “due to”? Did he suffer in the pursuit of love, or did he suffer due to being forced to be in the presence of love? Because if this is the latter, it’s literally a comment on the discrimination against aspec people in allonormative society. And even if it’s the former, it could mean that he thought he experienced allo attraction when he really didn’t.

That’s basically all of Polo’s lines about love or lust. Now, lastly, we gotta look at the absence of Polonius’s wife and Laertes & Ophelia’s mother from the picture. This could be for any number of reasons and headcanons, but Laertes does mention his mother directly once:

[LAERTES] Give me my father! [GERTRUDE] Calmly, good Laertes. [LAERTES] That drop of blood that’s calm proclaims me bastard, Cries “cuckold” to my father, brands the harlot Even here between the chaste unsmirchèd brow Of my true mother.

He’s essentially saying that “I wouldn’t be my father’s son (i.e. my mother would have cheated on him) if I weren’t angry at my father’s death”. This is what I call a bit of counter-evidence – it does suggest that Polonius was married and had sex at some point, I can’t deny that much. However, considering a number of reasons:

1) Laertes is lashing out in anger here and might be just Saying Things; 2) the mother isn’t ever mentioned at all elsewhere in the play; 3) the main purpose of mentioning the mother here is for Laertes to assert his paternity; 4) the whole speech is metaphorical anyway;

I feel like this piece of evidence holds a lot less weight and implications than everything before.

Additionally, using “chaste” to describe a “true mother” seems a bit strange in the biological sense, no? Maybe Polonius had a sexless marriage for sociopolitical purposes? Then that would also support some measure of an aspec nature in Polonius.

(My personal take on Polonius’s marriage is that he and a close platonic friend wanted to raise children so they agreed to get married and have sex, but this obviously has no bearing on his attraction or anything. Also, he presumably never visibly remarried after his possibly-spouse left the picture. Sounds like no attraction to me...)

Suffice to say. Considering all of this evidence? This man is not allo. I call him aroace on the far end because that’s what I am, but I totally see how these pieces of evidence can be used to support another aspec interpretation. Yeah.