Nothing I do is ever good, Nothing I do is ever good enough-
Beni exists in such a weird positions in the family because at the same time she grows up to be someone who exists within their post-tragedy family dynamic (Kanata and Yukari are gone, Hikaru isn't all that present due to work at the foundation, Hamato is her primary caretaker) she is simultaneously seen by her remaining family as a remnant of what used to be even though she does not remember that out of being so young before the tragedy took place.
Ramble that steemed from the thoughts that came outta this last night.
This is moreso with Hamato because he was a Mama's boy and copes kinda badly with Yukari being gone, he wanted (and honestly kinda expected?) Beni to also cherish her as much as he did, especially since she died protecting her, despite her having no memories of their time together nor much knowledge about Yukari and how she used to be because neither her brother or dad talk much about her when she's growing up, yet she was still expected to just,, turn out like that. Unconditional and undying love to someone you have no memories of because that's what expected of you.
Like a living memory they'd be able to have of Yukari, and when she didn't that kinda soured the sibling's relationship. Especially post Sdra2 era where in this AU Kokoro is alive, working on redeeming herself and Beni starts to spend time with her around the foundation since she was the first person that could see there was something up with her (undiagnosed mentall illness) and tried to help, subsequently leading to Beni seeing her as the closest thing to a mother figure which Hamato,, hates. To say the least (for pretty obvious reasons tho, this is still Kokoro we're talking about)
Ironically, it kinda was his insistence for Beni to stay away from Kokoto and want that she'd develop a deep care for her own mother that made her turn out to resent Yukari to an extent. As an adult she barely looks like her anymore (guess who she actually resembles? Haha that sure is one in the gut to Hamato), which is hurts Hamato a little because, given his own feelings, he kinda feels like he failed her even tho that person is literally who Beni is and if she wasn't this way then it wouldn't be her.
So yeah, uh, I don't think they're that close as adults. But Beni has her girlfriend that adores her being the little weirdo she is and Hamato has his own children to raise with his wife the way he wants now, so there's that.
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There's a reason why i said Hamato takes mostly after his mom personality wise :)
She loved him a lot. He was her baby boy, her first son. Despite all the doubts, fears and worries that came with an unplanned pregnancy the moment she held him in her arms she knew it was all worth it.
She didn't want to miss a moment of his development, Yukari wa absolutely a stay in home mom for the first years of Hamato's life and she was proud of every little achievement of his. With her constant presence is no wonder he took so much after her. The kindness, the patient, the incondicional love and urge to do anything in your power for family.
I think, sometimes, Hamato is saddened by rhe fact that the kid who took after her appearance the most hardy resembles her anymore.
DID YOU KISS THE BRICK BEFORE YOU THREW IT??? WHAT IS THIS, NATIONAL BULLY MIKA DAY??
Yknow what ill fight fire with fire.
Do you think it's possible that Hamato's beginning to forget what his mother's hugs felt like?
What if Yukari sang him a lullaby as a child. Maybe a lullaby she learned from a family member. What if Hamato hums the broken melody of it to himself unconsciously, whenever he's working or simply busy? Or what if he's begun to forget the lyrics to it?
I think it would be simply Heart wrenching if he tried to sing it to Beni when she struggled to sleep. But the melody was broken and the words felt wrong.
Do you think it's possible that Hamato sometimes visits his mother's grave? Maybe on the anniversary of her death, he stops by and talks to it. Maybe on mothers day, he sets up a small picnic by it.
Who knows. Heheeee. augh im gonna go grieve over this information you have provided.
Oldest and only son of Yukari and Hikaru Ando, Hamato is a kind and studious man who will drop everything he's doing if his family is in need of help. He has a love for building and architecture ever since he was a child and while he was quite sad to never recive a Hope's peak admission letter, Hamato didn't let that stop him for pursuing his passion as he got older. When Kanata was called to attend the school, he couldn't be prouder.
Hamato has always been very close to his parents and eager to help them in whatever way he can, when Hikaru and Yukari adopted Kanata he vowed to be the best big bro ever and did his best to make her feel comfortable and adjust to her new home. He loves both of his sisters a lot, even going as far as taking a long train ride home during weekends every once in a while just to see how Beni is doing, though this care can often lead to Hamato being quite overprotective of them at times.
(I don't have sprites of Beni in the age she is currently in ASOOT, this one's from when she's 7. I also don't know how to set an height and weight for a baby so-)
Name: Benitsuru Ando
Birthday: September 21st, 2010
Pronouns: She/Her
Orientation: Unlabeled
Likes: Clothes with intricate designs, studying world history
Dislikes: Noisy atmosphere
Youngest child of the Ando family and most definitely the strangest one, while Beni is at most times a very quiet and observant child, she can often display an exaggerated aray of emotions that have startled her father a few times.
She doesn't interact much with other children and spends a lot of time reading at home, something she learned how to do way before saying her first words.
I think the most well known ones are the Nijiue siblings/Family given while i made the siblings for the Voidswap mod project, since that fell through i let them be used in storyblogs here like A student out of time, Despair to future arcs and the Voidship. There's also Mako who's the daughter of Akemi in one of the blogs.
Then there's Akira, who's a Hatamori fankid given they're favorite Dra pairing ever since i joined the fandom. Benitsuru and Hamato who are ocs to be Kanata's adoptive siblings + Beni and Akira are a couple in the Au i made them in so i always draw them together.
And then there's Ippei, Bashira and Mai, who are relatives of Ayame, her father, mother and aunt specifically. (I also designed a fam dog for them). Tho Mai is mainly used as a Kisaragi foundation member oc.
There's another one I haven't talked about at all for reasons, but I'll leave the tags of all the others down if you wanna look them up in the blog.
Do you have the story for like. How hamato and kariri fell in love? I know they met in college, but what else led up to the two officially dating? (and how long did it take for them to confess their feelings to each other)
Not really tbh :(?
I had in mind that they met through college because Kariri used to fix electorinics for students around the place and he needed his notebook back in shape, despite her aloof demeanor they got along pretty well at the start and continued hanging out together for in between classes or when they had the time. Kariri fell first, but I'm not sure if Hamato reciprocated the feelings pre-teagedy and the whole thing led to them being separated for years since without a way to contact one another they just assumed something bad might have happeed to one and vice versa.
It's only after Kariri gets a job at the Kisaragi foundation that they meet again and reconnect and overtime it leads to them actually becoming a couple FINALLY but i don't really know what might have led to that.
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Funnily enough i was thinking about Hamato earlier. More specifically how unlike Beni he actually speaks Chinese (Not in a super proficient level, but he can hold his own in conversations) since he learned it from their mother growing up, whereas Benitsuru never learned any of it nor has any interest in reconnecting with the culture.
Time passes and her absence drives them appart further i suppose.
Finally getting this out! Ily doomed women that make me sad-
-Yukari is half Chinese from her dadās side, she was born in China but moved to Japan with her mother when she was around 12-14 years old after the father's passing. Since the mom never learned the language fully and needed the husband to be her translator a lot of the time, she felt more comfortable returning to her birth country than dragging her daughter all over the place to be her translator.
-Mr.Jiang died from a tuberculosis after spending a long time refusing to get his āPersistent coldā checked, despite his family's pleas, because he felt it was his obligation to keep working hard and providing for the family, by the time he actually went to a hospital there wasnāt much anyone could so because his lungs were severely compromised. His fate is what plushed Yukari towards pursuing a career in the medical field later in life.
-She taught the basics of Mandarin to Hikaru, and also Hamato and Kanata when they were growing up. If she had survived the tragedy, she would have taught it to Benitsuru as well.
-She's a big fan of musicals, be it movies or plays. She says āSuper trouperā from Mamma Mia is her and Hikaru's song.
-Going off the previous point, Yukari has a very nice singing voice, tho she's far too anxious/shy to actually sing it for people other than her family. (and even those get her nervous when they catch her doing so)
-She loves cats and thinks the black ones are the cutest, but she's never had any due to being very much allergic to animals.
-Yukari has (undiagnosed) Generalized anxiety disorder. She's generally a very anxious person who can be really hard on herself at times, sometimes paranoia just gets the best out of her and she worries she's failing as a nurse, a wife, or a mother. But whenever that happens her family is always there to reassure her these are all baseless thoughts.
-She works as a nurse in the same hospital as Hikaru, which is how they first met! At the start of her career Yukari was incredibly worried about her performance in the job, so she would take it upon herself to be as objective and professional as possible, almost robot-like as some coworkers would comment amongst each other. So for a while all her and Hikaru talked about in their, very short, conversation was 100% work oriented.
-Keeping up this mask takes a toll on the person though, so when things got too bad she would go to the hospital break room and get into these long paranoid ranting to and about herself. One time Hikaru walked into her in one of these borderline panic attacks and stepped in to try helping her calm down, once Yukari did so she started crying and apologizing for bothering him/taking his time and being a failure of a nurse, which took Hikaru by surprise since she always presented herself as so proficient and knowledgeable that he had no idea she thought of herself that way.
-He went on to reassure her she's not a failure at all and is actually a very competent and capable worker, he also offered to listen to her whenever she needs someone to talk to. From that point onwards they started talking during break periods at work and Yukari started to get more confident in her abilities and work in a more natural manner.
-Overtime friendship turned to love so cue to Hikaru trying, and failing, to ask her out given his lack of experience when it comes to dating and romance. Yukari could tell what he was trying to do, but he would rather wait for him to be able to actually ask her out then go ahead and do it herself. She found his attempt very cute! (And totally brings them up to friends every so often.)
-They dated for a couple years before Yukari got pregnant, this was around the time they were starting to discuss getting married but the topic of kids wasn't anywhere near the horizon by then so she was extremely worried that Hikaru could react badly and abandon her.
-He would never do that, obviously, and when she finally worked up the courage to tell him the news he comforted and reassured her he would be by her side no matter what and they would go through this together.
-Yukari already suffered some prejudice due to her origins and being an immigrant so he didn't want to add āHaving a child before marriageā on her shoulders too so they sped up the wedding process so that they would be married by the time Hamato was born.
-While Yukari was super worried about how well she'd do as a mother, especially since she was still in her 20s when she had her first child, she soon realized she actually really likes taking care of kids! So you bet she was as loving and attentive as a mother could be (albeit, a little overprotective at times)
-This is why she was completely on board with adopting Kanata when Hikaru brought up the idea. She was the nurse that saw to her operation and stayed taking care of her afterwards so she was more than happy to be able to call her a daughter, so much so that they took several months off work so she could watch over her and help with adapting to everything after the accident.
-Her liking for taking care of children is also the reason there's such a huge age gap between Benitsuru and her older siblings. Around the time Hamato left for college and Kanata got her HPA acceptance letter Yukari was faced with the realization that hurt kids were basically all grown up and soon enough it would be just her and Hikaru again, so the idea of having another child started circling her mind.
-While Hikaru was a little on the fence at first, he changed his mind fairly quickly since they had raised two children already so why not a third one? They just had to go through a couple fertility doctors given the fact that Yukari was getting into her mid 40s at the time, but at the end of the day she was able to carry out the pregnancy without any major issues.
-Benitsuru was born maybe a year or so before the tragedy, so she and Yukari never got to spend much time together nor did she get to watch her child grow up like she wanted to because she died around the start of the tragedy.
-When the tragedy broke out she was at home with Beni, with a bunch of riots and people killing each other just outside she couldn't just try to make a run for it to a safer place and instead went on to barricade the doors and windows to try and make the house as secured as possible until some help could arrive.
-Yukari's death really was a āEveryone is at the wrong place at the wrong timeā situation. Hikaru was stuck in the hospital he worked in because the place was crowded with injured people and a the doors were soon barricaded for weeks to stop despairs and Monokumas from entering and causing further harm, Hamato's college entered a lockdown when the tragedy started to quickly spread everywhere and Yukari couldn't leave with Beni because of the chaos outside. So no one was able to get to them in time to save her, but at least she was able to save her baby by hiding her in a laundry basket.
-By the time the robots starte banging hard on the doors and windows, Yukari already knew deep down she wasn't making it out of there, but until the moment they actually broke in she tried to hold onto the hope that someone, Her husband, her kids, even stranges, would arrive just in time so that she wouldn't need to feel metal claws ripping through her skin.
-That didn't happen, but at least she found solace in the fact that she was able to keep the Monokuma's attention all to herself in that main area of the house. That combined with her remaining as quiet as possble during the whole thing ensured that they didn't search anywhere else in the house once she was dead, they didn't realize she wasn't alone.
-Being maybe an year old when that happened, Beni doesn't really remember anything about het mom. She knows about her from her family, what she worked on, how she looked like. But can you really call that remembering someone?
I hope you know that whenever you post art of a dead oc/character being happy, I shake my fist at the sky and scream "CURSE YOU LAUGTHERHYENA!!!" like dr doofenschmirtz about perry the platypus.
Not because theyre happy but because they didn't get to stay happy
