Finally, an imagine. I am working through all the requests, slowly but surely, as well as a few other ideas of my own.
This was a request by @alannnina for a halstead!sister who is in an abuse warning.
This is a heavy one and there’s a few big TWs. So tw for graphic scenes of psychical and verbal abuse. Mentions/hints of rape and sexual assault to minors, as well as a description of what rape is. Lots of misogyny towards women and misogynistic language is used.
I do have ideas for a part two if people enjoy this. It’s also not fully edited so any mistake please point them out! And without further ado, enjoy!!
"You're late."
You jumped at the sudden intrusion of the silence, knowing it was just Jay, and so let the door slam shut, not bothering to close it quietly anymore.
"I know," You were uncomfortable, you always were when Jay took the authority role, way more so than with Will, "Sorry."
Jay would use his police voice on you, some sort of an attempt to psych you out, or to scare you. You didn't know which was more important to him but you did know it wouldn't necessarily stop you from doing whatever you'd done again. Not know that you knew why he'd use that voice. And, it was Jay, you brother, who you were never scared of because you knew him. You trusted him.
"Jesus, Y/N, where were you? I was worried," Jay dropped the bad-cop act and instead let his voice show emotion, "I tell you a time and you've gotta be back by then."
"I know," You shrugged, "Time just got away from me, I guess."
"Time just got away from you? You're sixteen. That's not an excuse."
"Sorry." You shrugged again, what else were you meant to do?
It was just something that happened to every teenager, a bit of healthy rebellion or just having fun. God knows that Jay must've done that, even if you weren't privy to that stuff.
Jay searched your face, just standing there slightly illuminated by the moonlight coming through the window. Jay hadn't shut the blinds in the living room, he never did.
It was a few more beats until Jay spoke again, "Go to bed. We can talk about it more in the morning. And I mean go to bed, no sitting on your phone or whatever you think I don't know that you do."
You couldn't help but smirk a bit at that one, because you did know that Jay knew, you were way too confident in his detective abilities to assume anything else. But he never told you off.
“You want me to turn the light on?" Jay asked, his hand reaching up the light switch.
“No!" You said, a bit too quickly and a bit too loudly and Jay furrowed his eyebrows at you, "No. It's fine. I'm used to the dark."
Jay knew something was up, of course he would now, how could he not? He wasn't going to let it go, and it was going to become harder and Jack was going to become meaner and it was all more things that you'd have to deal with when you were already dealing with enough-
Suddenly the light was blinding your eyes, and causing a headache to begin to pulse in your head.
"Jay, no. I said no!" You tried to turn away from Jay before he could see your face, even if it was pointless because he'd see it anyway, he wouldn't let it go now.
"Y/N," Jay's voice suddenly sounded very, very old, "What happened?"
"You're not angry?" Was the first thing you could think to say. You'd spent so long being angry at recently.
“It was Jack." Jay said, not a shake in his voice.
“No," You shook her head, suddenly feeling a very deep need to explain it all before it could get out of hand, "I mean, yes, it was but Jay you don't understand. It's not what it seems like."
“What does it seem like?"
“Abuse." It was the first time you had said that word out loud.
“If it's not then why did you say that?"
You felt hopeless, you felt that returning feeling rising up from your stomach, numbing your body, "It's what it looks like, I guess. But that's not the case, I swear."
“Will needs to look at your face," It wasn't phrased like a question, but Jay was still watching you, and you knew he was waiting for permission.
“Okay but can we- can you not tell him anything. I don't want him to get the wrong idea or anything."
Jay just looked at you.
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"So, I've heard you're having a bit of a tough time recently. You want to talk about it?"
You were sat opposite Dr Charles, it'd been a week since you'd come home to Jay waiting in the dark for her. You hadn't been able to see Jack during that week and so you'd refused to go to school. You'd see him there, is what you said. Really, you just didn't want to go. You hated it and you'd hate it even more with a massive bruise on you face.
Jay had relented almost immediately, and you had your way. You had your phone and you could just leave the apartment during the day. Jack would skip, and then you could explain this all to him and he would understand and it'd all be fine. Some big misunderstanding.
That hadn't happened. Instead, Jay took your phone and when you got it back you couldn't find Jack's contact, nor could you add anyone new to message. Not just on your texts, on anything. And to be honest, you were shocked. You didn't think Jay knew about any of these apps, or at least not enough that he'd know to do all this.
But it was whatever, it was fine. You could still go and meet Jack during the day.
Except Jay had other plans for that. So you went and sat in the break room at the precinct and did work online. You couldn't even leave the room because of all the stuff the team were doing outside. However, true to his word, Jay hadn't told anyone about it. The team were confused, sure, but no one looked at you any differently. Even if they were trying to hide it.
Will, however, had known almost immediately. You had told him he had it wrong, and he didn't argue. Just fixed your face and told you to get some rest. No doubt so he could sit and talk to Jay about you.
"Y/N?" Dr Charles said again, "You with me?"
“Sorry," You said, you didn't want or need to be here but you liked Dr Charles and so you would play along, "Just got a lot on my mind."
“I bet," Dr Charles smiled lightly, "So, Will didn't tell me too much. You want to fill me in?"
“Sure," You sat forward slightly, putting your hands under your thighs, "It's not a big deal or anything, though. Just so you know."
“That's fine," Dr Charles smiled again, "Just take you time."
“Uuuh," You shrugged slightly, "They think my boyfriend, Jack, is abusing me."
“But he's not?"
“No," You shook your head, "It's not abuse. I'd know."
"And, if you don't mind me asking, how would you be able to tell if it was abuse?"
“I'd be scared. Of Jack."
“You aren't scared?"
You shook your head, "I'm not scared of Jack. I'm scared of the way he acts when his brother is around."
“Is that not the same thing?" Dr Charles asked.
“No." You said, because it wasn't and you knew that even if Dr Charles didn't.
“Alright," Dr Charles smiled, "I want to talk about Jack and his brother some more, is that okay?"
“Do I have a choice?" You asked.
“Yes. Of course," Dr Charles said, "If you don't want to we can have a game of chess, how about that? I already talked with your brothers and I'll see you every week but it will all be at your pace, Y/N."
“Okay," You knew Jay or Will would probably be pissed but Dr Charles was the psychiatrist, not them, "Let's have that game of chess."
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The team had been gone for a while and you were bored. You'd been left with school work to complete, Geography, and you had finished hours ago.
Normally, you'd wander downstairs, maybe say hi to Trudy. But today something felt wrong, deep in your stomach you could just feel that something bad had happened.
Your fears were confirmed when everyone arrived back and Jay had that look on your face and he was trying not to look at you but he still was. And so he was talking about you.
He came towards the door of the break room and you almost wanted to ignore him, pretend you were annoyed with him so he'd go away and wouldn't tell you whatever bad news he had.
“Y/N, I need to talk to you." Jay shut the door behind him, so it was just the two of them.
“What?" You asked, ready to try and delay things, "Now? I'm, like, busy."
“You need to sit down," Jay pulled another chair out, opposite yours and so you listened to him and sat.
“It's about Jack. Y/N, I need you to listen to me."
You nodded, sick of hearing about Jack but the tone of Jay's voice almost made you feel sick.
“He has a younger sister, right? Sarah."
You nodded, "Yeah. She's 11 I think. I went to her last birthday."
Jay nodded but you knew he wasn't fully listening, "Jack, he hurt Sarah. She's in the hospital."
“Hurt? What do you mean he... hurt her? Like he hit her or?"
“He did something much worse, Y/N. I can't tell you the details but he hurt her."
“It was because of those videos, right?" You couldn't stop the words from spilling out because if you had just told someone then maybe Sarah wouldn't be hurt.
You had known the videos were bad news but you'd just say and watched them and nodded and agreed to what Jack said to appease him.
Maybe he hasn't abused you. But he'd hurt Sarah and he had hurt you. Even if that wasn't him. It wasn't the Jack before his brother showed him videos. It wasn't the Jack that you knew Jack was.
But it had been Jack who had hit and punched and strangled and apparently really hurt his sister.
“Videos?" Jay frowned, leaning in closer to you, "What videos."
“Um. He used to show me these videos that his brother shared to him," You said slowly, not looking at Jay, "They were of these men and they were saying stuff about how your girlfriends should behave. How women should behave. I just, I thought that, that..." You trailed off because you didn't know what you thought. You didn't fucking know.
Jay paused for a second before talking, obviously realising this was progressing to something that may need to be recorded, “Y/N, Kim is going to join us." Jay said and you nodded. That was fine. Kim was fine.
Jay gestured through the window on the door and Kim came in, smiling at you and pulling a chair up. Jay spoke to her in a low voice and she nodded
“Y/N, can you tell me what the men in these videos said?" Kim asked, "You can stop if you feel uncomfortable."
You bit the inside of your lip, "I guess. For Sarah."
“Y/N, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. But it would help."
You nodded, "I know, so I'll tell you."
You didn't know where to begin because the videos were all so long and the men in them all had their own ideas and opinions but you just said what you remembered. Starting slowly and it all came tumbling out afterwards.
“They said your girlfriend should do what you want. If she didn't, you should punish her. Like, hit her or slap her. If she misbehaved too often then you should get her to count the bruises. Tell you what they were for. If you want to kiss, she should kiss. If you want to.. have sex, then she owes it to you. You shouldn't let her speak out of turn, or be rude to you. You shouldn't let her mock you in public and she should just let you show her off."
Jay had written most of it down, but you could see where his handwriting had gone weird, or messy. Presumably because of the things you were saying.
“That's really helpful, Y/N. If it's okay could you tell us about an instance of where Jack hurt you?" Kim asked, smiling at you.
You shrugged, "I guess."
Kim nodded for you to go ahead and so you did, but not before taking a deep breath.
“We went to a party. One of those massive house parties you see in the films. I was 15 so it was like, 6 months ago I guess..."
“I didn't know these actually existed!" Y/N clung on to Jack's hand, looking around the room.
There were people everywhere, they were even holding those little red cups that the teens do in the movies. Fuck yeah. You were one of those teens now.
You and Jack both grabbed your own red cups, filled with some nondescript alcohol that burned your throat when you drank it.
After saying hello to your friends, Jack led you over to a group of boys on the sofa. You recognised a few of them, being Jack's older brother and his friends.
They whistled lowly when they saw you, one going as far to wolf whistle. It made you feel uncomfortable and you went to look at Jack to let him now but he wasn't looking at you. Instead he was beaming over to the group of boys. Looking like he was showing off a trophy.
And so you didn't say anything, letting Jack pull you down on to his lap. You tried to move off, to have your own space but he held on to you tightly and tilted your face over to his.
“Gimme a kiss, baby." He said, tapping his cheek.
You did as he asked but it was weird. He'd never called you baby and he'd never asked you to do that and he had never acted like this with you in front of his brother.
After giving him a kiss he pulled you back down, kissing you. His hands made their way to your dress straps, pulling them down and there was whoops on the background and what the fuck was Jack doing?
You pushed him off of you, "Jack," You hissed, "What are you doing?"
“He, like, shoved me off his lap then and his brother said something to him. But I was trying to pull my dress back down and fix it so I didn't really hear. But then Jack dragged me away and I let him because I wanted to get away from all those boys. They scared me."
“I just didn't want to sit on your lap and make out in front of all those people, Jack. They're older than us, it just freaked me out!" You stepped away from him when he shut the door to the room he had dragged you in.
“So my brother and his friends freak you out?" Jack's eyes were little slits and you would be lying if you said you weren't a little bit scared. But you were mostly annoyed, very annoyed.
“That isn't what I said and you know it." You shook your head, "I'm going to go find Katie or someone, I'll see you later. There's no point us hiding down here fighting."
Jack grabbed onto you wrist and you turned around, your eyes already rolling, "Jack, c'mon."
Suddenly your back was smacking against the wall and you couldn't even cry out because you were so fucking shocked. You didn't know what had happened.
“Jack?" You was staring, wide eyed and his name was the only thing you could get out because what the fuck? And your hands were shaking and your voice was, too. And you felt a bit sick.
Jack pressed his forearm against your throat, cutting off your air supply slightly, "When I want to make out, we make out."
“Jack?" You said again, it was all you could say and you instantly wished you hadn't when Jack pressed his arm harder and okay, now you couldn't actually breathe. At all.
“I could knock you out, right here. I'm in charge, bitch."
You didn't know what to do and your entire body was pulsing with fear because you were so fucking scared. You'd never been so fucking scared before in your life and all you could think was that you were scared.
“Do you understand. Y/N!" Jack barked your name at the end and you opened your mouth to speak but you couldn't because he was pressing against your throat too hard.
Jack laughed then, and let his arm come away from your throat a bit, "Stupid bitch."
“Yes," You gasped out, "Yes, Jack."
Jack smiled then and stepped away, "Good girl, Y/N. I'm sorry I had to do that but you embarrassed me, y'know. My brother and his friends, they'll laugh at me if you don't listen to me. They barely believe I have a girlfriend, it hurts."
You held your throat, trying to ignore the pain in it and the ache in your chest from the lack of air and listened to what Jack was saying to take your mind off it.
“Please don't tell anyone. I was just scared. I act out when I'm scared and I'm sorry....."
"... I won't do it again. I promise. I'm sorry." Y/N recited the words Jack had told her that night, still avoiding looking at Kim or Jay.
“I knew then I wasn't going to tell anyone."
“Why, Y/N?" Jay said from beside you.
You stiffened slightly, "Because he was right, his brother was a dick to him. And it was easier. I loved him. I really did, and I didn't want to lose him."
“How often do you think these events took place?" Kim asked, still not looking at you any differently.
“It wasn't like... regular or anything, it was just here and there."
“Could you tell us a few more of the instances? What he did and what happened before and after?" Kim asked gently.
“Yeah, I guess," You didn't know where to start, what would be most helpful to Sarah's case, "Uh, the night I got back late. We... I just told him I had to go, because it was late. But I'd told him I'd ask Jay if I could stay round, even though I knew he was going to say no. Jack got mad that I couldn't, I guess. I said I had to go and started to leave but Jack followed me downstairs and we argued for a bit. Then his brother, Aidan, was stood in the kitchen right next to us. He was laughing, or smirking, I think. And then Jack got angry. I mean, so angry."
“Why do you love to make me into an idiot, huh? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Jack was in your face and you wanted to get away from him but there was no room.
“Jack, I don't- I don't do that. I just, Jay he'll be angry I can't stay." You spoke as quick as you could, needing to get the words out.
“Wow. I wouldn't let my girl speak to me like that, Jack. Mine would be apologising." Aidan called from the back of the room.
You closed your eyes, wanting to get out of this situation.
“He's right. You love to make me look like a fool, why are you denying it?"
“I'm not-"
The slap came so quickly you ended up hitting the wall behind you harshly, biting your lip to stop yourself from crying out.
“You are, you bitch." Jack hissed, spit hitting your face.
“I'm sorry," You forced out, "I'm sorry I don't think you're stupid. I love you, Jack. I'm sorry. You're right, I do."
“I am right," Jack nodded, "You should be grovelling."
Aidan started towards the two of you, talking as he came, "She admitted it. So she needs to be punished, little brother."
“I'm sorry." You said again.
“How many bruises does she have this week?" You heard Aidan say to Jack.
“I don't know," Jack turned to you, "How many bruises do you have, bitch?"
The number was burned into your memory, it always was, "Seven. I have seven. I'm sorry. I swear, I'm so sorry."
Neither boy listened to your apologies, "It's eight now, I guess." Aidan shrugged and then clapped his little brother on the should, "You're the boss." He said before smirking at you and walking away.
You shrunk away from Jack, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again."
He rubbed a hand over his face, "I don't want to do this, Y/N! But I have to. You have to be better, okay? You understand that?"
You nodded, "I understand." You sniffed, preparing for the hits to come.
Jay looked like he was ready to leave, whether to cry or to kill Jack, you didn't know. But he was on the edge of his seat, his eyes small and his leg moving. He never jogged his leg unless he was seriously upset.
Kim was hiding her true feelings, you had no doubt, "That's really helpful. And I'm sorry that happened."
You shrugged, not replying.
“I need to ask you a quick question, okay Y/N," Kim said, and you nodded, half knowing what Kim was doing to say anyway, "Did he ever force you to have sexual intercourse against your will?"
“No," You shook you head, "We did, uh have sex but it wasn't rape. He didn't, like hit me to make me." Y/N almost blanched at the word rape and the fact that Jay was sat right next to you as you were saying all this.
Kim leant forward, ever so slightly, "Did he ever pressure you into having sex, and I don't mean did he hit you. I mean did he tell you you owed it to him, because you were his girlfriend? Or did he just keep saying he wanted you to make him feel good? Maybe you refused at first but eventually agreed because Jack seemed like he really wanted you to?"
You clenched your jaw, "That's not rape, okay? It wasn't rape it was just a girlfriend helping out her boyfriend. And I don't want to," You turned to Jay, "Can we stop? I'm finished I don't want to do this anymore?"
Kim stood up before Jay replied, "I'll leave you two here. You did great, Y/N. It will really help Sarah."
Kim left and you and Jay sat in silence for a few seconds, and you knew he was going to say something but you had to first.
“I don't want to talk about it right now, Jay, okay? You can send me back to Dr Charles and I'll took to him tomorrow but right now I just- I just want to ask you something and then I want to go home. I don't want to think about this anymore today." The tears were coming to your face and you wiped them away angrily, "Why did Jack do it? To Sarah? To... me?"
“We can't know for sure yet, Y/N but those videos you described? It sounds like they radicalised him." Jay answered, focusing on your question and for that you were grateful.
“He's just a kid. How can a kid do all this?"
Jay took your hand suddenly, squeezing it tight, “What he did wasn't okay, Y/N and we will get to the bottom of it. But you don't need to worry about him anymore."
“But there's going to be a trial, right? For Sarah. Maybe for me. This is going to be hanging over my head for years until it's done. And I just want for Jack to be gone. I don't want this to have happened to me, Jay."
Jay pulled you into a hug and you clung on to him, the sobs coming so suddenly you could barely breathe.
“You don't think these things, do you? That the men said?" You had to ask him, you had to know.
“What those men said is wrong. It's not true. I will never, ever expect anything from you or from Hailey. Or from any other women. I will never look down on you. I will never punish you, or Hailey. I swear to you, Y/N."
You believed him, you'd always believed that. But you had to ask because you had to be sure. You had to know that there were men like your brothers out there, among all the bad.
You'd have to face Jack and a trial. You'd have to tell people what he'd done and what you hadn't done. You didn't have a choice.
But you did have two brothers who loved you and who didn't blame you. Not only did you have them, you had people they worked with who were basically a family. Who would all fight to support you.
Nothing was okay right now, but with the love from the people surrounding you, you believed it could be.
