#halcyonterror

IV.

In retrospect, getting drinks with the guys was a monumentally bad idea.

Rei wakes up in bed with Akai, with only a sheet covering his body, his head pounding and mouth full of cotton, and an ache to his muscles. He groans, almost wishing his memories of last night weren't perfectly clear, wishing he could forget the way he'd embarrassed himself, but the memories are vivid and persistent, sticking with him even as he carefully slides out of bed and puts his clothes back on.

Nausea and guilt and misery claw at his heart as he glances back at Akai to make sure he's still asleep – he hasn't moved. Once he's dressed and has double checked to make sure he has all of his things, he slips out of the apartment as quietly as he can, careful flip the lock from the inside as he goes.

II.

Rei's running a little late to the bar, but he'd texted Hiro already to let him know. Wrapping up their case had taken longer than expected, and he'd driven Shinichi home afterward, before returning to the office to lock things up. Only after that, almost an hour past their agreed meeting time, had Rei arrived.

He catches Hiro's eye over the top of Matsuda's head; Hiro smiles at him as Matsuda cracks some joke he just misses. "Where is Zero, anyway?" Matsuda continues, putting on an annoyed air. "Taking care of his ducklings?"

Hiro's face scrunches up in confusion. "His what?"

Matsuda waves his hand around, his movements suggesting that he's not on his first beer. "You know, those detectives that follow him around. His–" Here, he jabs a finger in Akai's direction, "–little sister, and that Kudou brat. They're always with him, trailing him like little ducks."

"Excuse you," Rei cuts in before Matsuda can embarrass himself further, leaning over to steal his drink from him, "that's my duckling you're calling a brat."

"Hey!" Matsuda makes a swipe to grab his drink, but Rei holds it out of reach as he takes up the empty seat next to Akai, throwing a smug look back Matsuda's way.

He takes a large swig of Matsuda's beer and grimaces slightly. "Disgusting. Do you even have taste buds?"

"The beer is fine," Matsuda counters. "You're just a snob."

Rei just shrugs in response, grinning back at him and drinking more of his beer, eyebrows raised in challenge. Next to him, Akai shakes his head, amused at their antics, and says quietly, "It's good to see you, Rei-kun."

Rei returns the greeting with a faint smile, even as his gut twists. It is good to see Akai – they don't meet up often – but the ache never truly goes away.

Hiro throws him a look, more or less confirming Rei's suspicions that it wasn't a coincidence the open seat was next to Akai. They ended things between them nearly two years ago, and Hiro isn't the only one who's been trying to facilitate a rekindling of their relationship. Masumi, thankfully, doesn't know the extent of their involvement with each other, may not even know that they're exes, but Shinichi has been an absolute menace about it, since he's still in regular contact with both him and Akai.

Rei is honestly surprised Shinichi hasn't officially teamed up with Hiro, by now, and forced them to talk, at least.

Hagi asks him about his case, then, and Rei jumps into it and starts to relax, finishing Matsuda's beer as another round is ordered. A couple hours pass in warm camaraderie before Date is the first to give in and excuse himself, citing his pregnant wife waiting for him at home. Matsuda and Hagi last only another half hour after that, before Hagi, laughing, pulls a very drunk Matsuda to his feet and declares them finished, leaving only Rei, Hiro and Akai.

Hiro orders them all one last round – a shot of bourbon each, with a pointed look at Rei – and then the three of them finish settling the tab, before stepping out into the cool, early spring night, cheeks flushed and feet a little unsteady from the alcohol.

Throwing his arms around Rei's neck, Hiro hugs him tight with a cheery, "Good night, Zero," nearly sending both of them tumbling from the force. It's only Rei's quick thinking to ground himself, and a warm hand on his back that keeps them upright.

Rei laughs – Hiro's definitely not drunk enough to be acting like this, but he's in too good of a mood to call him on it – and pats his back. "You good to make it home?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine," Hiro assures him, pulling away and moving to hug Akai next, who seems surprised by the action, but hugs back. "Akai seems pretty drunk though; you should make sure he gets home safely."

Rei raises an eyebrow and glances at Akai, whose hand is still on his back; Akai only looks at Hiro in confusion. Rolling his eyes, Rei replies, amused, "If you say so."

It is, perhaps, Hiro's most blatant attempt to get them alone together, and it takes Akai only a moment to catch on. "Yes," he agrees. "As a police officer, you have a duty to make sure civilians get home safely."

Again, Rei laughs. "As a former police officer, I don't think I have any such duties." Still, Akai's apartment is on the way to his own, and, if he's being honest, he's not ready to leave him. "Come on, then."

Akai grins triumphantly as Hiro chuckles and turns away to head home; his hand leaves Rei's back – Rei tries not to miss it immediately.

III.

"I think you're Masumi's favorite person these days," Akai says when they're nearly halfway to his place. It's been a quiet walk up to that point; Rei has wanted to break the silence more than once, just to hear Akai's voice, but he couldn't quite figure out what to say.

Grateful that Akai has given him an opening, he replies, teasingly, "Oh? Jealous?"

Akai glances at him, then, and the light in his eyes makes Rei's breath catch. "How could I be, when you're my favorite person, too?"

Rei huffs and feels his cheeks heating up. Glancing away, he says, "It's not true, anyway. I have to constantly remind her that, even though you may seem cool, you're actually quite the nerd. That hasn't seemed to deter her."

"Works for me," Akai answers with a laugh, then fixes those far too fond eyes back on Rei. "You never would've fallen for someone with more brawn than brains, anyway."

While Rei isn't quite sure that's true – his tastes tend to favor skill over knowledge; though, he would prefer a partner who can keep up with him mentally, so Akai may be correct – he's not about to refute the accusation and embarrass himself. This whole conversation seems to have just been an excuse for Akai to flirt with him, anyway; he'd rather not give the man even more ammunition.

He's not sure his heart can take it.

They arrive at Akai's apartment a few minutes later, and before Rei can even start to say his goodbyes, Akai stops him. "Come inside?" he asks, his voice softer and more vulnerable than Rei has heard from him in a long time. He rushes to add, "Just for a few minutes. I'll get you some water, and you can sober up a little before you go."

Rei watches him carefully, heart caught between fear and wanting. He opens his mouth – to accept or to decline, he isn't sure – and says, "I was easy to leave, wasn't I?"

He regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. He's not even sure where they came from.

Akai stares at him, expression unreadable. He doesn't get an answer to his question, but he didn't really expect one anyway. And seconds later, he can't remember what question he even asked, because Akai's mouth is on his and every circuit in his brain has rewired to focus on that.

I.

"I can't believe they fired their best agent," Akai grumbles, arm thrown over Rei's waist.

Rei's hand pauses where it's been running through Akai's hair, playing with the loose curls. He bites his lip, but doesn't correct the assumption. "Guess I'll have to figure out what else to do with my life now."

"Private detective is always on the table, isn't it?" his partner asks, pressing a soft kiss to his naked chest. "I didn't think there were any other considerations."

He's not wrong, necessarily. Rei had said goodbye to Amuro Tooru and didn't want to even think about being a barista again. However, working as a private detective in Beika means that he's always going to be associated with Amuro, anyway, so it's not as easy a decision as Akai seems to think.

But that's not even what's bothering Rei most in the moment. The Organization has fallen; they've succeeded in their mission. It's the end of an era – and the end of their little affair.

They haven't spoken the words aloud, but Rei has always known that they would only be lovers until it was safe for Akai to pursue anyone else. Likely, he'd go back to Agent Starling now, but even if he didn't, there would always be someone else better for him.

And Rei… would move on. Alone, probably, because nobody had ever made him feel quite like Akai Shuuichi.

He would survive.

All that's left to do is rip the bandage off. He'd even make this easy on Akai and be the one to voice it.

"Akai," he forces out abruptly. His tone comes out sharper than he intends; Akai sits up, looking at him with concern, and Rei follows suit. "It's time to end this."

"What?" Akai's expression turns to deep worry, and he reaches for Rei again, but Rei slips away, getting out of bed to gather his clothes.

"Please don't make this difficult," Rei implores, trying to keep his tone as neutral as possible, despite the way his heart aches. "We both knew this wasn't going to last. It was just… a temporary fling with someone we could trust. Our jobs are done. I'm sure you're happy to go back home."

Akai says nothing as Rei dresses, perhaps resigned to the truth of the situation. Rei doesn't look back to find out.

Instead, once his clothes are in place, he simply leaves.

Akai does return to the United States, as Rei expects, but only for a couple of weeks. When he comes back to Japan, he already has an apartment sorted out, and moves in quietly. He doesn't seek Rei out, and Rei is relieved for it.

At least, that's what he tells himself.

V.

After leaving Akai's apartment, Rei goes home only long enough to shower and change. It's late enough already that Shinichi might be there by the time he arrives at the office, and Rei would rather not give him any extra fuel to make comments about his tardiness. He picks up breakfast for the two of them on the way there – coffee and pastries; not his usual go-to, but a treat once in a while won't kill him, and he could use the pick-me-up this morning – and convinces himself that it isn't bribery.

Shinichi takes the offering with a raised eyebrow, but doesn't verbalize any thoughts he might be having, so Rei counts that as a point in his favor.

He's been at his desk for only about an hour, catching up on emails that came through overnight, when a knock sounds on the office door. Rei's first thought is that it must be Masumi – but she usually doesn't arrive until later, and she wouldn't knock – though he quickly discards that when Shinichi, who has been tapping away on his phone for the last little bit, perks up and goes to answer it.

The whole situation is odd, because clients don't typically knock before entering, either.

Rei's heart stutters in his chest when he sees Akai Shuuichi standing in the doorway.

"Rei, you have a case!" Shinichi announces proudly. "And I'll be getting out of your hair while you speak with the client." Before Rei can stop him, Shinichi disappears outside.

"A case, hm?" Rei asks, as Akai takes a seat on the other side of his desk. "I'm afraid I don't have any coffee or tea to offer you, unless you want the half-finished cup my partner left behind."

Akai snorts and declines wordlessly. Then, he sits up straighter and assumes a serious tone. "Detective Furuya, I was hoping you could help me locate someone."

Stuck somewhere between curiosity and dread – if Shinichi's reaction was any indication, this is clearly a set-up – Rei watches him carefully. "Tell me about this person you're looking for."

A thoughtful look crosses Akai's face. "I guess you could call him 'the one that got away,'" he muses, though there's a note of sorrow in his voice. "But really its more like 'the one I let get away even though I knew I shouldn't have.'"

If Rei wasn't convinced before that Shinichi and Akai planned this, that would've confirmed it. Still, he plays along. "I'm afraid that doesn't give me much to go on. Is there more you could tell me?" He tries his hardest to keep his feelings out of his voice – he was such a good actor for so long; what happened? – but even he can hear the way it quivers.

"He saved my life a couple years ago," Akai continues, and Rei's heart pounds. "What he didn't tell me at the time was that he had to quit his job in order to do that."

"If he didn't tell you that, then what makes you so sure that's what happened?" Rei asks, his words slow and measured. It's true, but he's not ready to admit that to Akai.

Kuroda hadn't wanted to send Rei in, and risk his cover, to rescue a foreign agent, but Rei looked him in the eye and said he was going with or without clearance. Then, he laid his badge on Kuroda's desk and walked out.

Gin had already taken so much from all of them; Rei wasn't about to let him have Akai, too.

"His best friend told me."

That makes sense. Rei nods as if he's taking mental notes. "I see. Anything else?"

"Rei," Akai says, and, startled, Rei meets his eyes. He reaches into his pocket and pulls his fist out after a second, resting it on Rei's desk. When he opens his hand and lifts it away, what's left behind is a gold ring.

Rei stares at it, breath caught in his throat. He wants to get a better look at the ring, but he's almost afraid to touch it. So many questions pass through his mind, but he can't quite find his voice.

"Ask me again if you were easy to leave," Akai murmurs.

Rei's heart clenches and he sniffs, trying to keep his feelings at bay. "Tell me you didn't go out and buy this just this morning." Although, he's not sure the alternative is any better.

Akai shakes his head and drops the bomb. "I bought it the morning after you shot Gin."

Grief fills Rei's chest, tears gathering in his eyes. If that's true, if Akai bought this ring so long ago, then–

Rei really messed things up. He'd been so sure that Akai would leave, was preparing for the heartbreak, and decided to head it off and handle things himself. And meanwhile, Akai had been planning… this. Burying his face in his hands, he finds the heels of his palms getting wet from the tears already there, but he manages to hold back the rest, despite how his shoulders shake.

After only a brief moment, gentle hands tug at his arms, pulling his hands away from his face. Rei finds Akai kneeling before him, eyebrows drawn together in worry. "I wasn't trying to upset you. I'm sorry, Rei."

Rei shakes his head and slides out of his chair to hug Akai, pressing his face to Akai's neck. "I'm the one who ruined things."

Strong arms hold him tight, a hand rubbing his back. "You didn't. I never gave up on us," Akai assures him. "I should've fought for you back then, but I'm doing it now. I won't make that mistake again. Unless you tell me you don't want around, and I know you mean it, I'll be here, right by your side, as long as you'll have me."

To be handed Akai's heart again like this is – intimidating, admittedly, considering he's already broken it once. The thought crosses his mind – what if he messes things up again and Akai leaves? What if this all turns out to be one huge mistake?

Akai leans back as best he can, then cups Rei's face and kisses him softly. "You're worrying too much. We'll take it one day at a time and see how things go."

While that compromise sounds reasonable on paper, it feels awful knowing that Akai wants so much more, judging by the ring still sitting on his desk. And it isn't really what Rei wants, either. They've already been through the early stages of a relationship, even if they weren't calling it that.

This time, it's Rei who initiates the kiss, longer and lingering. "You wanted to marry me?" he asks once they part, his mind made up.

"I still do," Akai answers simply.

Rei nods, heart in his throat. Taking the ring from his desk, he examines it – a plain, gold band. Simple, maybe, but he wouldn't really want something too flashy, anyway.

"I wanted to get something better, but I wasn't sure what you'd like," Akai says, apologetic, and Rei shakes his head again.

"It's perfect." Gently, he places the ring in Akai's open hand and then looks him in the eye and leans in close. "Ask me?"

The smile that breaks out on Akai's face feels like it heals something inside of Rei, stitching up wounds that he himself caused, reducing some of the weight on his shoulders.

"Rei," Akai breathes, their faces barely centimeters apart, "will you marry me?"

"Yes." Rei grins at him, and barely gives Akai a moment to slide the ring on his finger before dragging his fiancé into an excited, heated kiss.