#hacheu

Long time no see, my friend.

(Happy birthday Hatz 🎉)

#32 - Speculation

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Happy three-year anniversary!

The artificial lights had dimmed hours ago, and hopefully all the loose ends of this incident had been tied up. The perpetrators were eliminated and traces of their involvement had been wiped. Witnesses were kept to none and any casualties were framed as retaliation against the loan shark.

Agni wasn't expecting this floor to have any security strong enough to apprehend them anyway, so his precautionary measures might be overkill. But it never hurts to be overly careful.

Their lighthouses were still on cooldown so they couldn’t use the teleport function, and once the adrenaline wore off, Agni felt like his limbs had been chained down by exhaustion. It would definitely take a while if they were to walk back, so he accepted Grace's offer.

Agni wrapped his arms around Grace's neck as Grace easily picked him up and carried him in his arms. Grace's shinsu wings manifested from the surrounding air, pulsing and dancing beautifully behind his back.

As soon as Grace secured his hold on him, they took off back to their floating ship. Agni rested his head against Grace's neck, trying to keep his face warm, shielded from the angry wind that blew past them.

It had been a really long shift and he was exhausted. From strategizing Grace's test, dealing with Nia's situation, the whiplash when he was informed about Harakiri, staying at the hospital room that he loathed while arranging a funeral, dealing with Sweet and Sour members, and lastly, cleaning up all this filth. He usually could've kept going without sleep for a few more days, but there were too many emotions involved in this case and it had started to overload his mental capacity.

Agni could feel Grace's elevated carotid pulse—such a rough day must've also weighed a lot in his heart and his mind. Although Agni was drained, it wasn’t an excuse to not check on Grace.

"Hey, what’s on your mind?" Agni asked, just loud enough so it didn’t get lost in the wind. He couldn’t see Grace’s expression from this angle, but that didn’t really matter much. He wasn’t too keen on pulling away from his face warmer.

"I’ve been thinking about what happened earlier."

It was an obvious and valid answer. Agni hummed to acknowledge him. Grace proceeded to tell him about his encounter with Harakiri at the restaurant. It was informative, for lack of a better word. 

"We also met Hwaryun. Our Hwaryun."

"She’s here too, huh?" At this point, this kind of reveal didn’t surprise Agni anymore.

"Yeah. I didn’t bring it up earlier because the timing wasn't right. But she told me something."

Of course. Agni braced himself when he asked, "What is it?"

"From what I understand, she warned us not to stay in this timeline for too long." Grace slowed down as they entered the forest area and glided down to where the floating ship was located, hidden within an invisibility barrier. "She also said that duplicates shouldn’t exist together at the same time, and our presence here is affecting events' progression since it messes up the balance, whatever that means."

Agni couldn’t help but grunt. He could see where Hwaryun was coming from. 

He remembered making a deal with God to send him back in time, yet his end of the deal that She proposed wasn’t exactly equivalent for such a favor, especially since he was also filling Grace’s bargain. But equitable doubt aside, he had always been expecting a catch somewhere along the line, as any deal with such high stakes would have.

Grace flew into the upper deck through the side entrance and let his wings dissipate back into the air as soon as he landed. Agni shifted away and Grace lowered him down before they walked toward the doorway.

"Hwaryun didn’t specify what the consequences would be," Grace continued, "but she did tell us that our time limit should be until Shibisu arrives." 

Agni stopped to stare at Grace in disbelief. What?!

Grace caught his stare and offered a curt smile. "I was paraphrasing, but that’s roughly what she said."

Agni was truthfully a little baffled how Grace was reacting so casually about it. Sure, it was a lot of information to take in, but that reveal was huge. And yet Grace acted like it was nothing more but a side thought to be processed later.

Did Grace not know what happened to Isu?

Agni remembered he’d told Grace about it, but Agni couldn't tell whether he did it in reality or in a dream. If it turned out to be the latter though…that'd totally be Agni's fault.

Anyhow, the truth still stands. Isu was dead. Agni saw it with his own two eyes, how he was beheaded right in front of him. Sure, Agni had quickly sent out the Yeon Sweetfish to heal him, hoping for a small miracle that Isu could be saved somehow… Only for the explosion to hit them a moment later, and he lost consciousness as Rak shielded him and Harakiri away from the scorching heat. So he never found out what actually happened.

Because of that, he once had faith in that small chance. It was what kept him going. But after the news of Rak's death, he had stopped believing. And yet, now they know that Harakiri was alive, could it really be that Isu survived somehow?

They resumed their descent down the stairs, though Agni was still lost in his own thoughts.

Come to think of it. Was that why God wanted him to be a healer? It would grant Her no benefit, yet She managed to convince him because it was the least desirable profession that Agni would have chosen, something that he had to really struggle to learn.

Was that also why She easily agreed to let Grace– an irregular who can defy the Tower's law– join him in going back in time? 

Was the catch actually related to Isu's resurrection or would it be something else? Thinking about seeing Isu in that state already made him nauseous, so he hoped that wasn't the case.

But then why did God choose to lend Her hand to their team instead of just the ranker? What were they in the grand scheme of things that they were being offered this chance? Was it really all just for Her amusement? His head ached trying to make sense of the situation, so he'd just keep it as is for now.

"Agni…" Grace pulled him out of his thoughts. "How do you feel about going back to our time?"

So that was what bothered Grace most. Maybe he didn't know the truth about Isu after all. Grace's eyebrows were drawn together in deep thoughts and worries, and Agni didn't like to see him look so troubled. In that case, there was no need to add more wood to the fire, but perhaps one day. "I don't know yet. It's a lot to take in." 

Grace glanced at him and finally let out a fond huff. "That's fair." 

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"The funeral is scheduled sometime this week." Agni told Wangnan once they had settled down in Nia's room. "Cheu will decide the exact date later."

A sound barrier had been cast over the four of them, excluding Nia who was still asleep. For precautions, he said. Maybe a little too much if Wangnan were to have a say.

Grace turned his head toward him. "It's going to be held privately. Would you like to attend, Wangnan?"

Wangnan straightened his back as he observed Grace. The said man was leaning forward with his arms on his thighs, shoulders slumped and voice weary. He looked like he was ready to call it a day and go to sleep right away.

Wangnan spared a glance at Cheu, who was sitting in a separate chair that overlooked the bed. He had his hood pulled over his head, complete with a face mask on.

"Well I…" Wangnan fidgetted with his fingers, uncomfortable by the awkward atmosphere. "If I'm allowed, I will attend. She was Nia's grandma, after all. It's not like we hadn't met before either."

"Very well." Agni deactivated the sound barrier, before he rose up from his seat. "Then we'll take our leave. Cheu will fill you in on what you've missed."

Cheu only spared a quick glance at them before he nodded once.

"Let's go, Grace."

Grace got up to follow Agni, stopping briefly at Cheu's side to give him a gentle pat on the back. "Don't hesitate to call us if you need anything, okay?"

He didn't wait for a verbal answer before following Agni out of the room.

When the door was closed, Wangnan silently let out a sigh of relief. It was such a weird interaction, but he knew it wasn't over just yet. Wangnan decided to approach the bed, standing next to Cheu.

Agni told him on the way here that the reason Grace couldn't come to the lunch party was because they didn't want to leave Cheu alone, and Wangnan could understand that.

However, Agni also told him that he and Grace needed to take care of any loose ends from the incident. That was why they had left so quickly, and also the reason his presence in this room was needed right now.

"We…don't know if he will survive." It was the first sentence that Cheu said, which managed to douse Wangnan in hypothetical cold water.

"You mean Nia?"

Cheu nodded solemnly. "Grace told me that there was a catch in bringing him back to life; that it will only work as long as Nia wants to live."

"Then we just need to–"

"He has been sleeping ever since before you left to take the test, and Ea– Agni said Nia didn't show any signs of awareness when I was away. He didn't even stir for the whole time I got back here."

"His body needs a lot of energy to heal, that's probably why." Wangnan tried to be optimistic.

"Yeah… I still have hope that he'll wake up. I know he's still fighting." Still, Cheu sighed after he said that. "Even then, he will eventually learn about what happened to Grandma. And I fear that it'd only make him fall into despair."

Wangnan looked down at Nia's peaceful expression. From what he knew of Nia's personality and his past, Cheu's fear didn't sound too far-fetched. 

"They offered me an option; to pull the plug, spare him the pain. We did leave him on a hopeful note, didn't we? That I'd figure something out, that you forgave him for what he did. But now that things have turned this way…I'm…I don't know." Cheu squeezed his own arm and looked away. "I knew you were listening earlier, and I think you've got the gist of it; that my decisions so far only led to their suffering. I can't…trust myself to be the decision maker anymore. Truthfully, I've never been one to begin with."

Cheu’s dark eyes met his—Actually focusing on him instead of just a lingering glance like before. There was a weight in his gaze that made Wangnan hold his breath.

"So, Wangnan Ja, tell me… What would you do, if you were me?"

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Grace set foot on the second floor of the building. Although he was focused on finding Hatz, he still hadn’t figured out what he would say or do once he encountered him.

To his left was a room with the door slightly ajar. He could hear a rustling noise coming from there. 

Grace knocked on the door, so as not to surprise the occupant, while also pushing the entrance wider.

The room was small with two single beds on each side of the room, a nightstand, and a desk right below the center window. However, it was just as trashed as the restaurant downstairs. Drawers were left opened, and items littered the floor.

Was it Lurker’s doing? If the death was accidental, he must've come here for another reason.

Hatz was sitting on the edge of the bed. He only glanced at Grace briefly before returning his gaze to the open book in his hand, and then closed it with a heavy sigh. "A pitiful sight, isn’t it?"

Grace couldn’t deny it, nor did he know how to reply to such a statement.

Hatz said nothing when Grace approached him, and neither did he move away when Grace decided to sit next to him. All he did was mindlessly sweep his palm across the book cover. They sat there, only being in each other's presence. No greetings were exchanged since it felt unnecessary now. At this point, Grace noticed that Wangnan was just outside of the door, hiding out of sight behind the wall. Grace paid him no mind.

"Sorry, Bam." Hatz started, after a long silence. "I wish you didn't have to see that."

Grace shook his head. "I wish I had known and been able to prevent it, so that you wouldn’t have to go through this."

Hatz huffed tiredly, "Well, it's no use for wistful thinking. What happened, happened. Turning back time won't undo it."

Grace blinked at the hint. "That's true." After all, they both knew it well. 

Grace tried to take another look around the room. Aside from the mess, the space looked quite well-lived. There were a lot of small trinkets and books scattered about. The walls were covered with items from clock and calendar to posters and photographs.

"Have you been living here?" Grace tried to break the ice.

"Ah, yes. I live and work here. Grandma had kindly taken me in." Hatz looked down at the bed they were sitting on, then pointed to the patterned bed across them with his chin. "This is my bed. And that one is Nia's. Grandma’s room is next door. I don’t go there often enough to know if Lurker had stolen anything. Though I suppose it doesn’t matter anymore now that she’s gone."

"You’re…very calm about this whole situation." Grace felt the need to point it out because if he were in his shoes—if someone had hurt Agni and killed Master—he’d probably be blinded by rage and grief right now.

Everything about Hatz exuded calmness. Even when he punished the guy earlier, or when he found out what happened to the old lady, he did not lose composure. It was as admirable as it was uncanny.

"If I get consumed by anger, my sword won’t be able to cut through what I want it to." Hatz shrugged. "I suppose you can say that being a swordsman made me this way."

It made some sense when he put it that way. After all, emotionless was not a word he’d describe Hatz with. Well, younger Hatz, at least. It was very shameful how little he knew about Hatz until he went back in time. He would definitely make up for it.

Hatz reopened the book in his hand and Grace caught a glimpse of its content. It was an ordinary notebook. Some pages were filled with squiggly abstract lines, some had neat shapes and patterns, some had words written down.

Hatz stopped at an empty page, took out a pen from his pocket, and began to draw abstract shapes with his left hand. It traced around many times, thin lines eventually turned aggressive and bold, until there was a block of a deformed circle.

Somehow Grace could tell exactly what Hatz must’ve been feeling, portrayed by his penstroke. He was actually surprised that the paper wasn't torn despite the amount of force Hatz pressed down with the pen.

Hatz must’ve noticed that Grace was staring, so he explained while he started another continuous stroke. "Back home, we had this thing where we wrote on paper with a fancy brush and ink. Their standards were very high and it put me under a lot of pressure, so I quickly lost interest in learning it."

It was quite an unexpected turn of topic, but Grace felt honored to be someone that Hatz opened up to.

"But after my arm got injured, I couldn’t train with my sword for a while. It made me somewhat anxious. So one day Nia bought me a book and a pen. He said it might help me to get back the feeling in my hand." Hatz was now scratching the paper up and down mindlessly—however, his hand was moving more slowly now. "At this point, I suppose it’s more for stress relief. It's kind of like wielding a sword, just smaller. You know?"

"Wait, what happened to your arm?" Grace backtracked. No wonder something felt off about Hatz, though Grace couldn't point out what it was until now.

Hatz stopped and finally locked eyes with him. "Did Earrings not tell you?"

Ah, was it related to the incident? Grace scratched his neck. "No. I never find the right time to ask him."

"I see… That’s fair." Hatz tapped his pen on the paper. "I still have nightmares of that day. I couldn’t imagine how much worse it must have been for him."

A pang of guilt settled in Grace’s heart because he knew Hatz was right. There were still many nights where Agni couldn't sleep, nights where he woke up with cold sweat. Many occasions where Grace had to reassure him that he was safe.

Why did Grace have to be somewhere else when they were going through that hell? Why didn’t he think that they could be in trouble the moment he lost contact with Agni and Rak? Why hadn’t he tried harder to escape from his situation to immediately search for his lost companions?

If he were given the choice of going back in time, rather than restarting his journey from the beginning, he would rather go back to the time before they got separated. Perhaps all these tragedies wouldn’t have happened in the first place.

"What was it again that we– Ah, my arm…right." Hatz put his pen down on the mattress and rolled up his hoodie sleeve, revealing uneven scars around his right elbow joint. There was also a bite wound and he could make out some fading claw marks. "A ranker tore it."

Grace internally flinched, he could almost feel it just from seeing the scars. It was undoubtedly unpleasant to experience. "Is that why you’re writing with your left hand?"

"I like to think of it as an exercise." Hatz slid down his sleeve back and picked up his pen, resuming whatever he was doing.

Now that Grace was observing him up close, he could see traces of burn marks on his nape. Similar to Agni's. The battle scar of a moment that Grace wished he could undo.

"My right arm has healed, but its strength wasn't the same as it used to be, so I aim to be proficient with my left to compensate for it. It’s still a work in progress."

Thinking back, Hatz had used his left hand to sever Lurker’s wrist with that duster. No wonder it looked odd compared to how Grace remembered the younger Hatz usually swung his sword. With such skill, his Hatz should already be qualified as a D-rank regular. But it was understandable that Hatz still wanted to improve since they were supposed to be C-ranks by now. "I’m glad that you’re still as determined as I remembered you to be."

Hatz glanced at him, then to the page that he had just filled. He smiled and closed the book, putting it on top of a pile on the floor as his gaze grew distant. "Yeah… I have them to thank for. If it weren't for Nia and Grandma…I'd–" Hatz stopped abruptly when his voice cracked. He brought his palm to wipe his eyes. "Ah."

Without hesitation, Grace reached out and placed his hand on Hatz's back.

"Sorry…" Hatz hid his face away from him as if ashamed. "I'm just…I need a moment."

"I understand." Grace started rubbing circles on his back. This was more of the reaction Grace was expecting anyway. Maybe it was why he felt the need to immediately seek out Hatz, the moment he understood that someone important to him had just passed away.

To be there when his friends were at their lowest, to support them like they had done to him. It was what he had failed to do, and he would not repeat the same mistake unless he wanted to be haunted with more regrets.

Hatz was silent, occasionally wiping the tears away from his eyes. Grace continued rubbing a slow circle on his back and patting him when he let out a sniffle. With a wistful smile, Grace glanced away to give his companion a little privacy. "Take your time. I'll be here."

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TW: torture

Ding ding.

Wangnan stopped pressing down the bomb when Lurker's eyes suddenly darted to the direction of the noise. He followed Lurker’s gaze toward the entrance where someone– where Cheu stood. 

Cheu's gaze swept across the room, noting everything that was happening, until it settled on one point that ignited the burning rage in Wangnan's gut.

Cheu slowly walked toward Grace and wordlessly crouched down next to the old lady.

It was as if time had stopped around them—not even Grace tried to make a sound or move.

Cheu patted her shoulder a few times. His lips moved as if calling her, but Wangnan couldn't hear over the ringing in his own ears.

When there was no response, Cheu looked up at Grace for an answer.

Grace shook his head forlornly. 

Cheu stared at her for a moment, before he rose to his feet and started walking toward Wangnan. His gaze was cold and the atmosphere tense. Wangnan almost forgot to breathe.

"Move." Cheu commanded him. 

Wangnan glanced at Lurker. Despite the bruise and blood, he still retained that irritating smug face. Wangnan wanted to punch him again to rid him of that expression.

Cheu took a duster from a nearby desk and pointed it toward Lurker. He glared at Wangnan, "I said, move."

It took Wangnan a few seconds to reluctantly let go of Lurker's suit collar. Lurker reflexively tugged on his suit to straighten the wrinkles.

Or well, he tried to. Because suddenly blood spurted out of his right wrist and drenched his beloved suit.

"AGHHH!!" Lurker screamed in agony once he realized what happened.

Had Cheu just…cut someone's wrist with a duster?! What the actual hell?!

Cheu raised the bloodied duster and pointed it toward Lurker again. "Ten seconds. Explain yourself."

Lurker was now shaking like a leaf. His ever present grin was now replaced with a grimace of terror. Wangnan felt somewhat pleased looking at this asshole finally cowering before them. "P-please, spare me…"

"Spare?" Cheu twirled the duster and stabbed it down through the fabric and flesh.

"AHH!!" Lurker clutched his thigh with a trembling hand.

Cheu yanked the duster out. Its strands were now glued together like a big paintbrush. "What deed have you done for us that would warrant you with such kindness? She did nothing wrong and not once have you shown her mercy."

"T-the boss. It was the boss's order–"

"Bullshit." Wangnan spat. "Didn't you betray your boss's son and plan to pass the test with the powerful people he recruited? But you failed, so now you’re trying to crawl back to him, is that it? Or are you just dissatisfied with the result and have to blow it up on someone else?"

"N-no, I…" He didn't even deny any of it. "It was a mistake. I didn't intend to kill her! She tripped and fell, I swear!"

Slap.

Wangnan's hand had moved on its own. How dare he try to justify himself with such an excuse?!

Wangnan bit his lip and said nothing, quickly retreating before he got in Cheu's way.

Cheu looked down at Lurker, his eyes narrowed in disgust. Without any warning, he stepped on Lurker's knee. The sickening crunch, accompanied by his unholy scream, echoed around the room. Then Cheu did it to the other knee, and Wangnan knew that Lurker wouldn't be able to escape his fate unless they allowed it.

For some reason, Wangnan was expecting Cheu to cut off the bastard's head or arm next, or maybe stab his body many times, just like what he did to Nia. But Cheu simply threw the bloodied duster on the floor and began to make his way upstairs, leaving Wangnan and everyone in the room stunned.

It was as if Cheu was saying that Lurker wasn't worth his time.

After a moment, Grace silently followed Cheu upstairs, completely disregarding everyone else’s presence as he passed them by.

Wangnan threw a dirty look toward Lurker before he decided to let him be and follow after Grace. It wasn't like the guy would last long with such severe blood loss anyway. A slow and painful death was befitting for trash like him.

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Cheu leaned on the corridor railing outside of the room that Nia occupied. He had excused himself when he realized that Earrings had to open Nia's bandages. Cheu admitted it was quite upsetting to look at, though he'd reasoned that he'd only distract Earrings from doing his job if he remained there.

Besides, he figured he needed a change of scenery. A breath of fresh air after being cooped up with his own anxieties in that room for hours.

He stared at the other side of the hospital building, noting the greeneries that decorated the space. In the distance he could make out the flying vehicles travelling across the sky as the busy morning hour finally started.

Grandma should be awake by now to open the restaurant.

Even though he already left a written note on the cashier table, he decided to give her a call so she wouldn't worry about his sudden disappearance, just in case she missed it.

He dialled the restaurant number and waited.

…

No one picked up.

That was odd. He was sure Grandma wouldn’t sleep in. And she surely wasn't that old to not be able to reach the phone on time. Maybe the ringing wasn't within her hearing range? It should be quite loud though.

He tried dialling once more.

…

Still no response.

Cheu's blood ran cold with dread.

Come to think of it, Grandma hadn't tried to call him regardless of whether she found the note or not. He knew that she was the type to worry about them a lot, and a piece of paper should not have stood a chance against confirming it herself.

Something was definitely off.

Without further thought, Cheu hurried to the elevator, pressing the button many times as if it could make it arrive faster.

He briefly considered using the stairs instead, but the staircase was on the other end of the hallway. He could probably cut out a few seconds…

The elevator chimed open, stopping his train of thought. Thankfully it was empty, so he quickly got in and pressed the ground floor button.

It was a quick ride, but it felt like forever.

When the door opened, Cheu froze in place as he locked eyes with him.

His features were somewhat different yet still all too familiar. No doubt that the person standing in front of him right now was Bam, especially since Wangnan was standing right next to him.

Bam looked at him like he had seen a ghost. And in a way, Cheu felt it too. This was truly the worst possible time for them to meet.

"Cheu?" Wangnan spoke, and the moment unfroze.

"Sorry." Cheu immediately slipped between them and took off running to the nearest exit, not looking back despite Wangnan's concerned call.

He had a clear priority at hand.

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