affection (give and receive) and their different aftermaths

i'm rewatching the first episode of bridon arc and this whole scene makes me want to scream.

imagine you're cheng xiaoshi. you have abandonment issues due to your parents mysteriously leaving you as a small child. one day you meet a boy, and in his eyes you see the same secrets your parents kept from you. he's kind and good, but he's hiding something, and you're afraid it will take him away from you the same way it took your parents.

and you're cheng xiaoshi, so you can't be upfront and honest about these fears, and you have to mask your vulnerability with jokes. but he doesn't treat it like a joke. he says i won't disappear. he says i can use these powers for you. he says i can't promise forever, but i'll stay here as long as i can.

this was originally not supposed to be angst