May 10
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Boss okayed my trip, so I booked my shit
In order to keep to my kinda strict schedule, I'm having to condense it to 6 night/7 days instead of 7n/8d. If I don't do it this way, I don't get a buffer day to sleep. It also limits the time I'm away from Clio. It also means I'll be hiking like 13 miles a day for most of these days. I gave myself 2 "easy" days of only like 6-8 miles each, one being Derrick Knob → Mt Collins (which covers Kuwohi/Clingmans Dome, and my final day (which is almost all downhill, so I could have done more; I just didn't feel like hiking 14+ miles out and then driving like 90 miles home, you know?). Very excited. Less than a month to go before I test my wits and patience and kneecaps. I still have so much to do before I head out, including finding someone reliable to water all my plants while I'm away. I'm mostly looking forward to eating my shitty freeze dried food so I can throw the packaging away and have a lighter pack. I will absolutely be calorie loading the night before (on which day I'm also running a 5k because I hate myself!). And I just know my fat ass is gonna be needing like 3 extra large pizzas by the time I'm done with this shit 😅 I'm both looking forward to getting a week by myself in the woods and also dreading how shit it's gonna make me feel. Maybe I should have asked for an extra day off, too... Hell, I might just call out that extra day and suffer the write up.
New guy up. I blacked out for the past two days and it appeared. I also decided to do a click bait style thumbnail because I think they're funny. It's ironic, I swear.
Basic gist of the video: We hike. Cool cabin. Weird family. The end. If you like history or need something to watch while you're at the gym, give it a view. Shit like this takes a long time to complete, seeing how I have to 1) do the hike, 2) upload the footage, 3) edit the footage, 4) do the research, 5) write the script, 6) record the audio, and 7) render and upload the video. This one wasn't crazy to research. I was lucky and found a single document that had 99% of the same info as every other document I found, so gathering the info only took like 4 hours. But it usually takes weeks of me visiting 3-4 different libraries (including my beloved McClung archive library in downtown Knoxville and Hodge's on UTK's campus) and hand writing notes for like a full work day's worth of time.
Anyway! I do this shit for fun and because I like learnin' people about Appalachia. A lot of people assume no one here was worth a damn until Dolly, but there's so much cool history all over East TN :)
Hiked to some ruins up by Sugarlands today. I tried doing this a few years ago, but it was mid-winter and I got there too late in the day to make it to the ruins. Very cool up there. Barely worth it with how many massive trees were in the way. I'm too short to be climbing over trees. But I love Appalachian history, so I'd never not go up there, you know?
There's also a cemetery on this trail. Most recent additions are from the 1920s, and only a handful of the people buried there are over 25, with the majority being under 10. As I was taking photos and collecting names, some shitheads from Ohio rolled up the hill and started laughing at the names. "Ha ha, this guy was genuinely named Cletus!" He was 6 when he died. Please be respectful. "Oh my god, what kind of hillbilly name is Ogle?" The Ogles helped found the area and largely lived peacefully alongside the Cherokee when the rest of the country was trying to exterminate them, so maybe chill. And they had a dog that pissed on two graves. I left because it was that or get in a fight, and I don't like the odds of 1 on 6. I got an Ohio vibe from them, then sure enough their SUV had Ohio plates. Ps, not all people from Ohio suck. But you know which ones do when you live in their favorite vacation destination. You also know the difference, based on vibe alone, between assholes from different states. Ohioans tend to be the most egregious offenders of all crimes involving being inconsiderate and annoying.
Lastly, I found the tritoris (tree clitoris). It's a lot larger than I imagined, for how long it took me to find. I saw it a little ways off the trail and full gasped at the sight of it. I've found many a treenis (tree penis), but never a tritoris. At least, not that I can remember.
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Boss called me last minute and said not to come in today because there wasn't enough work (I guess we only got 100 total Amazon packages today), but I was already in town, so I turned left to go to the Smokies instead of right to go to work.
Only about 3.5-4 miles. Not a bad elevation gain, so it didn't take me too long. There were several creek crossings with no bridges, though, and the rocks were clearly placed by someone taller than I am. If I were like 5'8", it wouldn't have been an issue. But I'm 5'3", so I had no other options but to plunge my feet into freezing cold mountain water. Which feels great, in summer. But it was 43 degrees starting out this morning and that water felt like it was below freezing and only wasn't frozen because of how fast it was flowing. But this is why I keep backup shoes in my car.
I also found a stick sharpened to a point in the creek. We don't really have beavers out here (at least, not since beaver fur trading days), so I can only conclude that it is from a vamper killer who was vanquished in that very creek by the dracler they were after.
Did me a little hikey hike today. Almost 7 miles total, including around 1.5 miles of ice and snow (which, turns out, isn't super fun when you're inches from the edge of a cliff!). But that's why we bring cleats to Gatlinburg! There were a ton of turkey and ravens out today, but not much else for wildlife besides some deer in the parking lot. I have tried going up here three times this winter, and the gate up the mountain was finally open. Found some hawk feathers, but I tossed them off the mountain so no one would take them and accidentally violate Bird Law. Given the state of things, there was no one else up there. This is the first time I've ever parked at the Rainbow Falls trailhead and not had to fight for parking. I haven't had time for a real hike in almost 2 months, and I can already feel how much better my mental health is. I think it's crazy that walking a ton makes me feel better than anything else, but whatever. I'm just happy I know how to make my depression fuck off. My vision has also been really cloudy since December, and it's clear again? I am not a medical doctor, so I can't explain. But I feel like I'm actually awake for the first time in months and, like, that's so chill. And now I'm eating because I forgot to eat this morning (note: do NOT do that if you're gonna go walk a bunch; I can only get away with it because I have high enough body fat, and even then it's a stupid thing for me to do).
whimsy :) // 11.10.25