#groupie

"Dave Mustaine / Megadeth: Dave is of average size and is very romantic, at least until he is done. Likes to cuddle, but might not be so friendly in the morning."

"Peter Steele / Type O Negative: About an 11 inch dick and very thick!! But he doesn’t like to use rubbers and says he doesn’t like groupies, yet will use them when he gets a chance. Sort of weird as well, plus he looks like a steel worker from Iowa!"

"Lars Ulrich / Metallica: Lars is about 6 inches and has a HOODED MONK, meaning he’s uncircumcised! That’s to be expected because he was born in Denmark, or some foreign country like that. He’s a quick shooter and likes multiple girls. He’s also fond of blow (what a shock) and that might result in his MONK to not wanting to come out and play. And he constantly talks. Shut the fuck up already! Also he’s losing his hair, but that’s another chart."

"Izzy Stradlin / Ex-Guns ‘N Roses: Our source reveals he is a VERY good lay! Sometimes those guys who aren’t the pretty boy of the bad are better lays than the good looking guys. The pretty boys sometimes think they don’t have to put any effort into anything. Just look at Vince Neil!"

"Slash / Ex-Guns N Roses: average in size and nothing to write home about."

"Axl Rose / Guns N Roses: Temper tantrum boy has only an average cock but above average sized balls. We heard he had one of his famous models (Seymour) take a dump in a kitty liter box!!! I don’t know about you girls, but my pussy ain’t going anywhere near a litter box."

"Paul Stanley / Kiss: About 7 to 8 inches and he’ll treat you very nice! He loves his hairy chest. One girl told me, “The only problem is when you’re having sex with him you get the impression he’s performing for 20,000 screaming fans. I have honestly never seen anyone look more retarded while having an orgasm. I thought he was having a seizure. Overall I’d give him a 9 in the sack, even though it was all I could do to keep from laughing when he came."

"Jon Bon Jovi / Bon Jovi: Back in the day Jon was a huge slut but he’s chilled out a little. Jon has an average size cock and like a lot of guys prefers to receive oral than give it. He has good rhythm though and will even wear 2 condoms if you ask him to."