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The grey-romantic experience is "I... I have feelings for this person, it's a first in 5+ years!" and that person said they just want a summer fling (they assumed i changed my mind when I made it clear it wasn't a summer fling for me.)
MY VERY RARE ROMANTIC FEELINGS. ON SUCH A PERSON.
(it's okay tho just had my first date with them and they broke many of my standards so I dumped them. but the sting is still there :/ )
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being an aro person who does romantic relationships is so hard, like there’s joy in it and i really do like being in them. but the break ups are so much worse, cause there’s all this uncertainty about if it’s cause of my identity. i’m grey-romantic, so finding someone i’m into romantically is hard enough so then ending it is that much harder for me. don’t get me wrong there are aspects of break ups i’m grateful for but i feel like i have a harder time with it than my allo-ro friends. my last relationship ended cause i got used as a rebound and it was the first time in a while i had felt romantic attraction so that makes it harder, there’s also uncertainty of not feeling it again. which i’m fine with it if i never experience romantic attraction again, i just hate not knowing if i will. that’s the worst part, finding queer platonic or romantic relationships is hard for me cause i’m grey-ro. i just wish it could be a little easier, allo people know they’ll feel it again, i just don’t and that’s the bad part. not knowing, idk if any other arospec ppl struggle with the aspect of not knowing if they’ll feel romantic attraction again or not or if that’s just me. i just needed to get it out there and maybe someone else does get it and this will help them feel less alone
Submitted July 9, 2023
Content warning: sexual fantasy, human genitals,
I am gray romantic & gray sexual, and am very sex positive. I tend to use sexual content as a toxic coping mechanism, and don’t really understand the way Allo’s feel about that stuff. Like they are stuck with how they are feeling, for me in both romantic and sexual interest I can simply shut it down. I can think of 18+ rated stuff just fine, nothing really happens, but when I’ve told Allo people about that they get all shy and weird about it. I may be Aspec but I still think sex should not be a taboo subject.
I also absolutely hate the naked human body, even in undergarments it makes my skin crawl. I can deal with drawings and stuff with that in it, but just not the actual humans body grosses me out. I really don’t understand the appeal of a naked body, even if your in that mood I just don’t get it.
Submitted June 16, 2023
Late 20s, experienced first and only crush, was not reciprocated, haven't seen him in months as he left usual social activities where we met, but still not really over him properly and possibly never will be (until I had another crush which may never happen)
Anyone else relate, other older greyromantics stories that have only had 1 crush, or validate that it's possible to never fully get over things like this?
Submitted May 27, 2023
CW: sex, genitalia mention
Greyrose person here. I used to think I would maybe try sex if I ever found someone I actually wanted to do that with.
But with the influx of Actual Pornbots™ I've been getting, and me having to look at their videos even briefly to block them, now realize that that is Not happening, especially since I realize that the look of genitalia somewhat repulses me.
Submitted May 26, 2023
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Ok so I’ve considered myself greyromantic for a while now, because I’ve only felt romantic attraction a few times for a very short amount of time each. None of those were recent. I do feel like there’s a kind of wall over girls that isn’t over boys that means I can feel the potential of attraction towards boys. It’s weird.
So I’m friends with this boy who I thought was cute in fifth grade but never had a crush on, and now one of our other friends said we should go out together, and it’s like. Idk even know what I feel about that. I don’t get butterflies around him. I don’t think about him being good looking. I don’t fantasize about spending time with him. He actively frustrates me sometimes, but there is that potential of attraction that i can feel. It’s weird. I don’t want to like him like that. I don’t want to have a boyfriend. I do *not* want to have him anywhere near my bed, and I don’t even want to hug him. Why is romantic attraction so complicated? Is it this complicated for everyone? What the fuck.
Submitted May 18, 2023
im grayromantic but im not satisfied with it at all. i spend so much time wishing that i had a romantic partner to do things with. and i know I'm grayromantic because I've only had a crush once in my life and I don't have a celebrity crush. its the one thing i feel sure about in my life. the only part of me that I'm not constantly doubting. but i still feel so incredibly dissatisfied and hate being alone. I'm not sure if this is from a lack of strong friendships or what. i don't know. I'm just really annoyed at this point
(and im demisexual i think because i have thought about that kind of stuff, but I'm also sex repulsed? i don't know. i thought i was ace but then i thought back to my old crush, which was this guy who i was pretty good friends with. i thought about *that* stuff with him and it wasn't gross or uncomfortable.)
anyway, i used to have a squish on this one dude and daydreamed about doing romantic things with him, but the squish is long gone and now i feel so- again- dissatisfied. i close my eyes and try to imagine myself with someone but i immediately reject my friends because they're hot, sure, but they're my friends and that's weird imo. then i realize i don't have anyone that i see being in a relationship with, or even cuddling and holding hands with comfortably. again i don't have a celebrity crush so i cant really daydream about anyone. so i just listen to music which kind of gets rid of the stress but that's besides the point. the point is, I'm grayromantic for sure, but I'm so tired of waiting, and it hasn't even been that long. i want to find my effing soulmate and it's not helping that i keep on reading cute gay fics. im sorry its an addiction at this point 😭
and listening to wholesome one direction songs which makes me cry, i cry too much
Submitted May 17, 2023
If anyone else told me they’re lgbtq+ because they’re greyromantic but other than that they’re cishet, and then later they changed their mind and they’re completely allocishet, I wouldn’t fault them for it. Id totally support them experimenting with labels and figuring themself out and being wrong sometimes.
But when I think about how the only way I’m lgbtq+ is being greyromantic and that I might be wrong and was never Aro spec, I feel like a fraud.
Submitted May 17, 2023
