Hal: Hey Spooky, you look like you could use some fun. Why don’t you let me take you out for dinner? *wiggling his eyebrows, very clearly joking to get a rise out of Bruce*

Justice League: Oh fuck, I always knew Green Lantern had a death wish *they’re all exchanging looks, ready to grab Hal just in case Bats decides to break his no kill rule*

Bruce: *has found the perfect opportunity to fuck with everyone* Sure, I like to be wined and dined. You’ll be paying for dinner. *walks out before anyone questions him*

Hal: … *turns to face the rest of the Justice League* Huh, who knew it’d be that easy?

Clark: *gritting his teeth* Yeah… who knew

Barry: *scoots away from Clark due to danger feeling*

Hal: Oh my gosh, what if this is a plan to murder me! *sweating, hands gripping his hair in fear*

Clark: *under his breath* Let’s hope he gets to you before I do *glowering*

PLATONIC!JUSTICE LEAGUE x CIVILIAN!TEENAGE MALE READER

(Did them separate cause it’s easier for me + an old request from January ;-;)

—SUPERMAN/CLARK KENT

Clark freaking Smallville Kent.

He’s the number one dad figure to you.

Honestly, if you did have a good dad he’ll be the second dad you’ll ask for advice.

But if you didn’t have a good dad and he was a deadbeat, he’ll gladly adopt you (cough cough go away Bruce).

Calls you , “champ” “son” “kid” just classic country boy things or whatever.

He likes to think you’ll be safe if he’s just Clark to you. But of course he’s wrong.

Whenever he hears you’re in trouble or maybe you’re at an event due to school and there’s a villain. He’ll be there in a snap.

Maybe too quick.

Maybe he knows you’re his child in his heart rather than biologically.

Late to school? Don’t worry he’ll drive you over there like a NORMAL person and not as a hero. Even if you begged him if you knew he was Superman.

You’d joke about being an intern for him as a photographer. And he’ll take it as a pride that he inspired you to work at the Daily Planet.

“Cmon kid, take a picture of that.” He’d say as you grumble annoyed.

“Yeah sure, Dad.” You said accidentally. You covered your mouth in shock while Clark just froze before hiding the smile and tears in his eyes.

He cried that night to Lois. “He called me dad!” He was so happy, not minding how you felt embarrassed.

He was definitely proud of being the male role model for you.

—BATMAN/BRUCE WAYNE

 Motherfucker run. You're gonna be the next victim of being added to the Batfamily if you don’t stop being so damn smart and adorable.

You’re a classmate of Damian, a simple student who is ranked number one in the grade you are in with Damian. Damian envies you, he hates you is what he ranted to Bruce before two months had passed, and he would bring you along to the manor.

It didn’t take you til around the fourth month of basically being a new ‘member’ of the family to figure out who the hell these people were.

Bruce caught you staring at a shelf, the same shelf that held the secrets of the Batcave. Secrets of years of having robins and being the dark knight of Gotham.

“This shelf. It’s different.” You simply said, looking at Bruce through your square glasses. Bruce couldn’t help but smile, you reminded him of Tim. But different.

He revealed it. It wasn’t too much to handle, but it was enough for you to be around with Barb whenever the family was on missions.

You’d be doing homework while in the Batcave as Damian is training behind you.

He practically adopted you without the adoption papers.

If you don’t come to the manor at the specific time , he’s sending one of the kids to check you out.

Cass would literally stalk you from afar like a big older sister who’s making sure you aren’t having any problems with people.

Steph would make sure you live your life out big.

Tim would help with your chem exams. He’s your tutor and best guy to ever as for questions when stuck on your homework.

Duke was the coolest guy ever! He always knew what to say to you and smiled when you explained your day to him.

Damian argued with Tim about helping you, mostly making sure he was the one who helped you more.

Dick was the cool oldest brother who would practically take you out to movie theaters and eat popcorn.

Barb was the kind of person who’d say “I’m not babysitting him” just for her to watch you with soft admiration for helping her.

Jason.. he’s that one brother that pops up out of nowhere and just takes you out for a simple McDonald’s meal all cause you wanted some too.

Bruce practically has a camera and safety alarms in your apartment. He’d almost forgotten you have a parent/parents.

Too bad you already signed up for his batfamily nonsense.

Yep, you’re adopted.

—WONDERWOMAN/DIANA PRINCE

Ouuuu, she’s big momma.

You once went up to her and told her that she inspired you to fight against your bullies.

Just small and simple as she felt her heart warm up and pet your head. Calling you a “warrior”.

As Wonder Woman, she was your personal protector. Always there to your call as she felt maternal towards you.

And as Diana Prince, she kept the maternal relationship with you and the energy. You’d come to the watch tower beside her, smiling wide with that kiddish teenage grin as you rant to her about your school day.

She didn’t get much from what you spoke about, other than that you had a good day and the school lunch was better today.

Clark would slightly tease her talking about how she’s practically your mother.

Diana smiled and waved her hand, “Of course I’m not. I am his mother.”

And she meant by that, she’d be your second mother if you already had one. She’d be the man one if your mom left you or died.

She’ll train you, she’ll mentor you in every case that she won’t be there to protect you.

There’s nothing better than a woman who’s devoted to caring for her child that’s not hers biologically.

—THE FLASH/WALLY WEST

Holy fucking shit.

You just gained the best older brother/dad figure ever.

Wally, wallster, big red (cuz of his red hair), the flash, THEEE flash is always there for you bro.

He’s always there to be on time for your recitals for your marching band.

He realized you were just like him, you couldn’t stand or sit still. You always drummed your fingers against your knees or on his head.

“Kid, you may wanna get into a band.” He suggested, feeling your smaller hands on his head as you drummed.

“Sure!” You said back. And look at Wally now, taking a video of you beating on your percussion instrument.

Bart side eyes Wally who’s pointing at you with a proud grin, “You see him? He’s the one right—”

“Omg I get it!!” Bart said annoyed, but he couldn’t lie and say you weren’t cool.

You let Bart beat on your drums that were old drums to let out his energy.

The Flash family does admire you cause you can handle their energy. Including Bart who likes to ask you to hang out on random weekends.

Wally would speed over to you with some groceries that you need with the help of Barry beside him.

You were one of the normal people in the family, even if you aren’t really in the family by speed or biological relationships.

It’s about the relationship that makes the family.

—GREEN LATERN/HAL JORDAN

He wants to be sooo nonchalant at least, talking about how “this kid is so clingy to me, it’s adorable.”

Meanwhile, this cocky mofo is soft and a sweet father figure, texting you if you made it safely to the bus.

I’ll say I can see him trying to get away from you as he just sees you as some kid around the watch tower that was randomly brought around all cause Batman knows you’re a safe person to trust despite being young.

But the more times you rant about how you thought planes were cool, you didn’t make much eye contact. You talked about planes like they were the only things that made sense to you.

You were someone he knew he had to protect.

He’d watch you when he wasn’t needed for a mission as you sat by him at the long table. He’ll help you quietly at first.

Guy once made fun of you, it was a small joke of course. But Hal didn’t take it that way and almost fought him before Wally came over and diffused it as you clung to Hal’s arm.

You were just 14 and you knew that the air shifted around you.

Okay yeah, he denies how he’s your guardian, but then he’ll proudly declare it if someone were to just call him that.

✅️ How to fly with your Teddy

❌️ How to not fly with your Teddy