Matt - May 2023

My first SmackDown taping turns out better than I could have hoped. I host my first The Grayson Waller Effect on the main roster without a hitch, relishing in the crowd’s booing as I interview AJ Styles. Even though I can’t wrestle due to my leg injury, the fact that I’m still making my main roster debut has me in a state of awe.

It helps that I’m able to catch up with a few old buddies from NXT before the show. I also chat with some of the wrestlers Olivia had introduced to me during Wrestlemania. Many of them welcome me to SmackDown with open arms, much to my relief. I don’t feel like the new kid in school, trying desperately to fit in. Between the guys I worked with in NXT and the established main roster WWE Superstars, I know I’m going to settle in quite well.

I receive a text from Olivia after my segment ends. I smile when I see her message appear on my phone.

Olivia: YOU DID SO GOOD OUT THERE!!! I’m so proud of you, baby!

Matt: Thank you, sweetheart. I’m happy it went well

I go to Instagram to find Olivia’s WWE Instagram has a new Story uploaded. I click on it to find a photo of SmackDown playing on her living room TV during The Grayson Waller Effect. I’m sitting at my desk, looking unimpressed as AJ is busy making his entrance.

“I’m more of an AJ Styles fan tbh” the on-screen text says.

Scowling, I do something I haven’t done in months- slide into Olivia’s DMs.

graysonwallerwwe: RUDE

olivia_wwe: lol we meet again

graysonwallerwwe: Looks like it

olivia_wwe: Well regardless, I stand by what I posted. AJ Styles > Grayson Waller

graysonwallerwwe: I’m a better wrestler than that flop!

olivia_wwe: lol whatever helps you sleep at night. I’m gonna enjoy the rest of the show now. Love you!

graysonwallerwwe: Love you too, even though you’re being mean to me

olivia_wwe: I’m definitely gonna enjoy sharing my bed with the dogs tonight

graysonwallerwwe: You do that

Chuckling, I shove my phone into the back pocket of my jeans so I can watch SmackDown on a monitor backstage.

“Who you talkin’ to?” Oscar says while taking a seat beside me. He adjusts his signature mask, which is royal blue.

“My girlfriend,” I reply.

Oscar smirks. “You two are still going strong then?”

“Yeah, we’re good,” I say. “I’ve been staying at hers since I broke my leg.”

Upon hearing this, Oscar’s smirk fades. “You’re staying at Olivia’s place?”

I freeze. “Only temporarily, ‘cause she offered after I got injured.”

“And you’ve been there ever since?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I should probably go back to my place. I’m sure the food’s all mouldy by now.”

I force a chuckle to ease my newfound nerves. But Oscar’s face remains unclear, and him wearing his mask doesn't help. I look back at the TV monitor as the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

“When did you get injured?” he asks.

“During my last match at Spring Breakin’,” I answer, my eyes glancing at my cast before looking back at Oscar again.

“When was that?”

“Late April.”

“And you’ve been staying at Olivia’s ever since?”

“Yeah. Although, I probably should’ve offered to return home at some point. I just…haven’t. And she hasn’t said or even hinted that I should leave soon.”

Oscar relaxes, his expression curious. “Olivia’s a really generous person. I’m not surprised she would do something like that.”

“She’s amazing,” I blurt out.

My face heats up when I realize what I just said. I let out a bemused chuckle and run one hand through my short, dirty blonde hair.

Oscar’s brown eyes narrow as his smirk returns. “Oh, so this is really serious.”

I hesitate, but nod anyway. I refuse to bring up the fact that I want to marry Olivia, even though my feelings on the topic are still the same.

For a moment, no one speaks. My stare returns to the monitor again, only for me to realize that SmackDown is almost over now.

“I’ve known Olivia a long time,” Oscar pipes up, forcing me to look at him. “I met her when she was really young- sometime after she joined the main roster. She was extremely nice and generous then, and she’s still that way now. She hasn’t changed in that way despite all the fame and money.”

I don’t doubt the truth behind his words. She strikes me as someone who wouldn’t let such frivolous things turn her into a bad person.

“But I also know how much she’s been through,” Oscar continues. “I’ve seen her cry over her parents’ deaths more than once. I can’t begin to comprehend the amount of loss she’s dealt with.”

I recall the time when Olivia came over to my apartment on the anniversary of her car accident, her heart heavy with the trauma of that awful day. I can’t forget how she hugged me for dear life and wept over both it and not having her parents around to comfort her. It’s clear that she’s doing the best she can, although she still has bad days too. But I’m not about to tell Oscar any of this.

“She’s overcome a lot, and I’m proud of her,” I finally say. “I think the world of Olivia, I really do. I’m sure I sound like a lovesick idiot, but I couldn’t care less. It’s the truth.”

Oscar grins. “I’m glad she has you.”

I return his grin. “Nah, mate, I’m the lucky one.”

***

Late next morning, as I’m carpooling with Pretty Deadly back to Orlando, I send Olivia a text.

Matt: May I please ask you something?

I get a response about half an hour later.

Olivia: Sorry, I was rolling around in the ring at the PC. What’s up?

Matt: Wait, you were?? Shit, I shouldn’t have interrupted.

Olivia: You’re fine! I needed to take a break anyway.

Matt: How’s it going?

Matt: That wasn’t my question btw, but I’ll get to that

Olivia: lol no worries. It’s…an experience. There are some moves I’m struggling with because of my stupid leg. It’s just going to be a bit of a learning curve, that’s all. I’m trying to not be too hard on myself.

Matt: I understand, baby. If I could get in the ring with you, I would.

Olivia: I know, and I appreciate the thought. So…what was your question?

I bite the inside of my cheek before typing out my next message.

Matt: I know I’ve been staying at your place for quite a while, and I appreciate it. But I should probably head home. I don’t wanna put you out anymore than I have. Are you cool with me doing that?

Olivia: I mean…if you want, sure. But don’t feel like you have to

Matt: It’s okay. I want you to have your place back.

Olivia: Okay

Again, I bite the inside of my cheek. This time, it’s to keep a curse word from slipping out of my mouth.

Matt: Alright, I’ll grab my stuff once I make it to your place. I won’t be there for a few more hours

Olivia doesn’t reply; instead, she leaves a thumbs up reaction to my last text. This causes my stomach to tie itself into a knot. I put my phone away and try to chat with Pretty Deadly about the show and God knows what else.

I know this is the right thing to do. As much as I appreciate Olivia taking care of me since my injury, I can’t stay at her place forever. Even though I know she doesn’t mind having me, she deserves to have her space back.

The next few hours pass by uneventfully. It’s just after two in the afternoon when the guys drop me off outside Olivia’s home. When I realize her car is in the driveway, the knot in my stomach tightens. I half expected her to still be at the Performance Center.

I slowly hobble up the porch and enter her home. Gary’s barking echoes from the living room as he races over to greet me, his tail wagging a mile a minute. I briefly greet him before shutting the front door behind me. When I poke my head in the living room, I realize Olivia isn’t there.

Frowning, I go to the top of the basement stairs and listen closely for any noises coming from the lower level. When I don’t hear anything, I go to the glass sliding door to peek into the backyard. Yet Olivia isn’t there either.

Despite my crutches, I trudge upstairs while pain darts up my leg. I curse under my breath when I finally reach the top. Once the pain settles down, I scan my surroundings from the landing.

Out of all the doors, only one is half-open- the door to Olivia’s office.

My frown deepens. How did she not hear me come in, or hear Gary barking his head off?

I hobble over and quietly peek my head in.

Olivia is sitting at a white desk in front of a silver iMac, typing away with ease. I can see the computer screen reflecting off the lens of her glasses, though I can’t make out exactly what’s on her screen just from that. Her red hair is up haphazardly in one of her claw clips, with several strands framing her makeup-free face. She’s wearing a black The Judgement Day sweatshirt from WWE Shop that appears to be a couple of sizes too big.

I also spot the explanation for her not hearing anything- a large pair of white noise-cancelling headphones covering her ears.

I scan the small office. The walls are white, with a black shelf of action figures resting against one of the walls. It only takes a moment for me to make out that they’re WWE action figures of Olivia from over the years. Another shelf- a tall, narrow one made of glass- sits kiddy-corner on the other side. Inside are the three titles Olivia has won during her time in WWE. Her Divas Championship sits at the top, then her WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship, and finally her WWE Raw Women’s Championship. There’s a large window to my left, accented with black linen curtains. It’s not just any old home office- it’s also a makeshift time capsule of Olivia’s WWE career.

For a minute or so, I watch her write ferociously, pouring words onto her screen without a second thought. Her gaze is locked onto the task at hand with laser focus.

I look down to find Ash nearby. He’s laying on his side in a black dog bed, snoozing. Then I look back at Olivia, who continues to write.

I wave one hand in her direction, but she doesn’t see me. Then I slowly creep inside her office. It proves a little tricky with my crutches, but I manage a few steps before Olivia suddenly whips her head over at me.

I freeze the moment we make eye contact.

I’m about to try and get the hell out of there, but Olivia raises a finger to silently tell me to give her a second. I watch her go to her phone and then pull her headphones off.

“Sorry, I was looking for you,” I say. “I wanted to say hi, that’s all.”

“No, it’s okay,” Olivia replies. “Here, give me a second to close out of everything.”

I watch her focus on her computer for a couple of minutes before pushing her fuzzy white sphere-shaped office chair out from the desk. It takes her a moment to drag herself out, and she visibly winces.

“I’m still pretty sore from wrestling with my friends earlier,” she adds before I can ask if she’s okay. “I haven’t wrestled in over two years and it was only the second time I’ve gotten back in the ring since being cleared.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay,” I say.

Olivia saunters over with a smile on her face. On the surface, she seems alright. But I know her real smile. It stretches from ear to ear, lighting her entire body up from within. It always reaches her eyes, making them sparkle even on a dark day.

This smile is different from that. It’s smaller than normal and appears to be contained only on her face. The rest of her body seems stiff and rigid.

She’s not herself- and I know why.

“Did something happen during training?”

“No, it went fine.”

I frown. “If you’re upset about what I texted earlier-”

Olivia sighs, rendering me mute. She takes her hair down, tossing the clip on her desk.

“I’m not upset that you want to return home,” she says. “You can do whatever you want, you’re a grown-ass man. I’m just confused where this came from. You’ve been staying at mine without any issues, but now you’re suddenly worried about overstaying your welcome.”

I rake one hand through my hair and exhale slowly.

“Here, why don’t we go to the bedroom so you don’t have to stand on your broken leg?” Olivia offers, her voice softer.

I happily accept the suggestion since my leg is still sore from coming up the stairs. I follow her into the master bed and sit on the bed as soon as possible, with my leg propped up with a pillow in case it’s swelling inside its cast.

“I’m not trying to upset you,” I start.

“I’m not upset,” Olivia repeats. “Did I say or do something recently to cause this, though?”

“No,” I insist, shaking my head.

Olivia knits her eyebrows together. “Then where is this coming from all of a sudden?”

Knowing that it’s better to be truthful than to lie my way out of this, I tell her about how my conversation with Oscar yesterday made me realize how long I’ve been staying at hers since my injury. I make a point to emphasize that Oscar didn’t suggest that I head home; rather, it’s something that I thought of on the drive back home today.

“I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage of your kindness or generosity because that’s not what I’m trying to do at all. I should’ve offered to head home sooner, and I’m sorry I didn’t,” I conclude.

Olivia’s eyebrows furrow deeper. “Matt, you haven’t done anything wrong. If I wanted you to leave, I would’ve asked you to. I haven’t been silently seething about you being here, wishing that you would head back to your apartment sooner than later. I love having you here, I really do. And I never had an inkling that you were taking advantage of me.”

My body sinks into the comfy bed as my stomach unties itself. I find myself hanging my head, ashamed that I had let such insecure thoughts win.

“I love having you here, I really do,” Olivia adds firmly. “If you wanna head home for a few days, that’s fine. But please don’t do it because you think I’m sick of having you around.”

I sigh and look up to see her sitting criss-cross while holding my hands. She gives them a squeeze, making me grin.

“I’ll talk to Oscar about what he said-”

“No, don’t be mad at him,” I interrupt. “He didn’t say anything like that, babe. It was just something I thought about when we were talking about it.”

Olivia nods slowly. “Alright, then. So…are you gonna stay or no? It’s totally up to you, I don’t have a preference. But like I said, please don’t leave because you think you have to.”

I mull over the options. As much as I would love to stay, a small part of me still feels like I’m overstaying my welcome. Then again, the cast on my right leg is making it impossible for me to drive anywhere. She still has to drive me places since my doctor has ordered me not to drive. While I’ve mastered showering and getting dressed on my own, there’s still that massive hurdle to throw a huge wrench into things.

“I should head home for a little while,” I say after a moment of silence passes. “I’m sure a lot of the food in my apartment has gone bad and is stinking up the bloody place. But I also can’t drive with this fucking cast on. I could have you drive me to mine…”

I trail off to debate what to do for another minute. Then I let out a heavy sigh.

“Actually, I’ve changed my mind- I’ll stay.”

Laughing,Olivia gets up on her knees and plants a tender kiss to my lips. I happily accept,  pulling her in close. She soon wraps her legs around my waist with ease. I bite back a groan building in my throat.

“That works for me,” she remarks, pulling away just enough to lock eyes with me. “I have an idea- why don’t we drive to your place so I can give it a deep clean, and you can grab anything you’d like to have?”

“But you’re busy with writing,” I argue. “I feel bad that I interrupted you in the first place.”

Olivia waves this off. “I can write anytime, Matt. Besides, I’m supposed to be taking care of you, remember?”

I chuckle as Olivia traces my scruffy chin with one finger. Her light pink nail scratches my skin lightly enough for me to feel it without stinging.

“I won’t argue,” I say once she finishes touching my face. “And I’m sorry that I caused all this trouble. I should’ve just asked if you wanted me to head home or not, rather than assume.”

“Don’t even worry about it. We’re good, sweetheart,” Olivia replies.

“Good,” I remark, my grin transforming into a full-blown smile.

Our conversation ends soon after so that Olivia and I can go to my place. Thankfully, the apartment doesn’t smell, although there’s a fair amount of long-forgotten food that has to be tossed. Olivia handles that and cleaning my place from top to bottom while I grab more of my belongings. This includes clothes, toiletries, and one of my many Philadelphia Eagles hats.

It isn’t until later that evening, long after returning to Olivia’s home and having dinner, that I ask her about when she thinks she’ll be coming back to the ring. We’re sitting across from each other on the living room couch while a Friends rerun plays on TV.

“Honestly? I’m not entirely sure,” she admits, her tone cautious. “I know it’s gonna be before SummerSlam, so probably not until late July, I guess? But there’s a chance WWE could ask me to come back sooner. It’s not like I have to worry about whether or not I’m cleared.”

“Makes sense,” I say.

“I would love to come back sooner, I really would. But as far as I’m concerned, the ball is in WWE’s court.”

“No, I get it.”

Olivia suddenly grins. “I signed a new five-year contract the other day, and I know which brand I’m gonna be wrestling on when I do return.”

I immediately perk up. “Do I get to know?”

At this, Olivia smirks. “If I tell you, will you promise to keep your mouth shut and not tell a soul?”

“Absolutely,” I proclaim loudly. “You have my word.”

“So dramatic,” Olivia quips with a giggle. “I’m gonna be on SmackDown.”

My eyes widen and I cackle. “Seriously?”

Olivia nods. “I didn’t even ask to go there, I swear to fucking God! They just asked if I would be fine to wrestle there, and I said yes. It was that simple.”

I shake my head in disbelief. “Looks like we’ll be traveling on the same brand together.”

“Looks like it,” Olivia laughs. But then her laughter dies at the same time as her smile.

“Hey, I’m not that bad to travel with,” I tease. Yet even as I say it, I know that’s not the reason for her sudden change in mood.

“No, no, that’s not it,” she says, her tone mousy. “I just still haven’t told my fans about my mental health issues.”

I raise my eyebrows. “You haven’t?”

Olivia sighs heavily. “I did tell my friends after Wrestlemania. They all reacted well, which I was really relieved about. And then after that, I decided I was gonna post about it. But then I started working on my third book, and I focused on taking care of you after you broke your leg- not that I’m blaming you for this at all- and, well, I…forgot.”

I fight the bemused smirk threatening to bloom. “You forgot?”

“Okay, I lied; I didn’t forget, I just…decided not to. I kept using work and life as excuses to not do it. Sounds really stupid when I say it out loud, I know.”

“It’s not stupid.”

“But it is.”

I reach out to touch Olivia’s wrist. She pulls her hand into mine, so I give hers a gentle squeeze.

“I keep going back and forth on whether or not I should do it. You know as well as I do that wrestling fans can be vicious. I’m worried that, if I post about this, they’re gonna insult me for ‘being weak’, for a lack of a better way of putting it.”

My jaw abruptly tightens just from hearing that. How the fuck could anyone think that of Olivia everything everything she has survived? She lost her parents when she was barely an adult, and then nearly lost her own life in a car accident that robbed her of her right leg and put her wrestling career on hold. There are so many people who wouldn’t have been able to handle the mental anguish that comes from enduring such hardships. Yet here Olivia is, doing as well as she possibly can in spite of all that.

I know she’s not the same person she was before going through those hardships. Hell, I’m sure she’ll never be the person she once was prior to those tragedies occurring. But from what I’ve seen since our very first online interaction, I know she must have worked incredibly hard to get to a much better place.

“I know my friends will defend me from those pricks,” she continues, “and I know you will too. But that doesn’t mean I wanna read nasty internet comments about my mental health struggles. Honestly, just the thought of telling so many people I don’t know something so personal about me is really scary.”

I nod wordlessly.

“Then again,” Olivia says, “I know talking about my mental health online could very well help someone who has been through something similar. After all, I’ve gotten a lot of DMs from fans telling me how much my debut novel helped them on their own grief journey.”

My ears perk up upon hearing this, but I keep my mouth shut.

“Maybe the same thing will happen with this,” she adds. “Ugh, there I go rambling on and on.”

“Don’t apologize,” I pipe up, knowing that’s what she’s about to do. “I never mind hearing you talk.”

Olivia flashes a halfhearted grin. “I appreciate that. I still don’t know what I should do, though.”

I muse her words for a moment. “Do you want my opinion?”

Olivia’s grin fades as she blinks in stunned shock. “You’re asking?”

“I didn’t wanna assume that you wanted to hear it.”

“No, please.”

I squeeze her hand again. “You are right- wrestling fans can be assholes about those things. But I’d be willing to bet that anyone who responds to you revealing your mental health struggles rudely isn’t a real wrestling fan- they’re just an asshole looking to stir up trouble. And if they were a fan of yours, then they can fuck all the way off, as far as I’m concerned. They don’t get to say they’re a fan while also acting shitty towards you.”

Olivia’s face brightens up a little.

“And talking about it online could help someone, I agree with that sentiment,” I carry on. “I could definitely see that happening.”

At this, Olivia nods.

“However,” I say, “the choice is ultimately yours. If it’s something you feel comfortable with doing, then share it online. If not, then don’t. Either way, I love you and I’ll support your decision. And if you do decide to do it, I’ll defend you from any dickhead who tries to make fun of or insult you.”

“Thank you,” Olivia replies softly. “I’m overthinking the hell out of this, I know I am.”

“Only a little,” I remark. “But honestly? I think I lot of people in your shoes would.”

“Yeah, I could see that,” Olivia says.

I let go of her hand and open my arms wide. “Come here.”

Just as Olivia begins to scoot over to me, Gary suddenly hops up on the couch and jumps into my arms. His tail wags happily while Olivia bursts out laughing.

“I didn’t recall telling you to come here,” I say sternly, staring at Gary with narrow eyes.

“He can join us,” Olivia insists before closing the distance between us on the couch.

Soon enough, my arms are around her body while she pets Gary, who sits quite content in her lap. Ash joins us on the couch a moment later and takes the empty spot in between my spread out legs. He rests his head on my left knee with a sigh.

I kiss Olivia’s head. “Feeling better?”

“Much.”

“Good. Wanna watch a movie? Or did you wanna get back to writing?”

“Oh, I definitely wanna watch a movie with you! You pick.”

Olivia - May 2023

My head is still reeling from the fact that I’m medically cleared to wrestle again. I teeter back and forth from being relieved to overwhelmingly grateful, getting teary-eyed more than once.

I call Saraya the night I find out I’m cleared. She shrieks with delight and we both cry with joy over the news.

“You fucking deserve it, girl,” she blubbers. “I’m so fucking happy for you!”

“Thank you,” I say, pausing to collect myself. “I just wanna wrestle. I don’t give a fuck about winning titles or being in PLEs. I just want to wrestle- and now I get to.”

“I know that’s what matters to you most,” Saraya says. “You’re gonna fucking kill it in the ring, babe. I just know it.”

“I appreciate you saying all that,” I reply, smiling while tears continue streaking my cheeks.

I also call April to tell her the good news the following morning. She shares my enthusiasm for me returning to the ring.

“You’re so cool!” she gushes.

“Thanks, but I’m still nowhere near as cool as you,” I tease.

“Wrestling with one leg makes you pretty fucking cool in my book,” April counters.

“Fair point,” I say with a bashful grin.

I send a text in my group chat with Demi, Gionna and Victoria with the good news. They each respond with congratulatory texts that are full of excitement. Gionna insists we meet for brunch to catch up, as they’re all going to Saudi Arabia soon for the next PLE and wanna see me beforehand. I happily accept their offer.

On a sunny Wednesday morning a week or so later, I arrive at iHop to find Demi already waiting. She’s wearing a baggy black graphic T-shirt and black ripped denim shorts, scrolling on her phone. I approach her with a sly grin.

“Excuse me, are you Rhea Ripley?” I ask in mock wonder. My voice is low enough that other patrons can’t hear me.

Demi looks up with a stunned gaze, only to relax when she realizes who had said that. She laughs and gets up to hug me.

“You’re insane.”

“Says the woman who got Dominik to turn on his father.”

Demi smirks. “Fair point. How are you, mate?”

“Good, good,” I say, smoothing the fabric of my bright red tank top, which I’ve paired with white denim cut-off shorts. “How ‘bout you? You fucking killed it at Backlash!”

“Oh, thanks,” Demi replies. “And I’m good.”

We chat about the PLE before Gionna and Victoria arrive a few minutes later. Gionna is wearing a white cropped tank top and light blue skinny jeans, while Victoria is wearing a black halter top and a black leather skirt.

“Hey!!” Gionna squeals, her white blonde hair flowing freely down her back.

I greet her and Victoria happily, and we all sit together in our booth near the back of the restaurant.

“I’m so, so happy you’re returning!” Victoria exclaims, beaming.

“Me too,” Gionna tacks on. “My jaw dropped when I saw your text.”

“You truly deserve it,” Demi chimes in.

“Thank you, ladies,” I say with a small laugh. “I’m still in shock that I was cleared.”

“We didn’t even know you were trying to get cleared,” Victoria pipes up.

“I only told Matt and Paul this past Wrestlemania,” I reveal after our server- a tall guy with short blue hair and a black nose ring- comes by to take our drink order. “I didn’t wanna tell too many people and get everyone all excited about me coming back, only to not get cleared and let everyone down. I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to get people’s hopes up. I had to go through so many medical evaluations for both my leg and back, it was wild.”

“That makes sense,” Gionna says.

“It was so nerve-wracking,” I add. “And it bothered me not to tell anyone about it. Hell, I didn’t even tell Matt how it was going until before my last medical evaluation. He was so excited when I had told him I was gonna try to come back, so it would’ve killed me to crush him if it didn’t pan out.”

“He must be thrilled that you got cleared,” Demi says.

“Definitely,” I reply before recounting how emotional I was breaking the news to him the day I got the call, and that Matt had held me while I cried with relief.

“He was so supportive when I told him of my impulsive decision to make a comeback. I thought he was gonna jump for joy over it, but I had to get him to keep his excitement in check ‘cause I wasn’t even sure if it would happen. And now it’s gonna happen.”

My throat becomes thick, rendering me mute.

“It’s a big deal,” Gionna remarks, placing her hand on mine.

“It really is,” I croak.

“Well, I’m so happy we’ll finally be working together,” Demi chimes in, grinning. “Do you know which brand you’ll be on?”

“Not yet, and that’s the honest truth,” I answer. “I’m open to going anywhere though, even NXT. I know Matt wants me to go to SmackDown with him, but we’ll see.”

The girls laugh, as do I.

Our server comes by just then to drop off our drinks. We quickly place our orders before he saunters off.

“He’d love that,” Gionna giggles.

“No kidding,” I say, shaking my head with amusement. “But I know that all bets are off as far as which brand I’ll end up on.”

“Yeah, that’s so true,” Victoria remarks. “They keep married couples together. If they’re not, though, it’s fair game.”

My heart slams against my rib cage. Anything related to marriage seems to send a jolt of electricity up my spine now, much to my annoyance. Somehow, I manage to keep a neutral facial expression and not visibly react.

“Are things still okay with you and Matt?” Gionna inquires.

“Yeah, they are,” I answer. “Although he did break his leg in his last NXT match- it was a clean break, thank God- so he’s been dealing with that, which is shitty for him. He’s been staying at my place since so I can help him out- drive him to appointments, help him shower, stuff like that.”

“Oh, no,” Demi remarks sympathetically. “That’s such a shit thing to go through.”

“That’s part of why I’m so proud of him getting called up to the main roster,” I add. “Well- that, and because he’s my boyfriend.”

The girls let out a chorus of “awws”, making me blush.

“So, he’s been staying at your off and on?” Gionna asks.

“Oh, no, he’s been staying at mine for a few weeks,” I reveal. “He pays for groceries because he insists, but I won’t let him pay for anything else. It’s not like he lives there.”

“Wait- you said he’s been there for weeks?” Victoria chimes in.

“Yeah, but I insisted. It’s not like I want him to leave and he’s refusing to do so.”

“No, I get that. But it almost sounds like you two are living together.”

I pause to mull this over. I don’t know how the hell I overlooked this fact up until now.

“Yeah, it does kinda sound like that,” I admit with a nervous giggle.

Gionna smirks. “Is he good to live with?”

“We haven’t killed each other yet, so that’s gotta count for something, right?”

The girls laugh as our food arrives. This gives me a brief reprieve from all this questioning, as I steer the conversation away from me and towards my friends. They each share what’s going on in their respective lives in and outside of work.

“I’m excited for Night of Champions,” Victoria says once we’re all caught up on each other’s lives.

“Me too,” I reply. “It’s shaping up to be pretty alright.”

Victoria abruptly turns to me. “Will you be back in time for that?”

I shake my head. “Now that I’m cleared, I need some time to roll around in the ring with my prosthetic ‘cause I haven’t even done that yet. I don’t think I’ll be back until before Summerslam. Hopefully, it’ll be sooner, but who knows?”

“That’s fair,” Gionna pipes up.

“Sorry, I wanna get back to something,” Demi suddenly announces after swallowing a mouthful of her spinach and mushroom omelette. “So, you and Matt have been living together-”

“We’re not living together,” I interject. “He’s just staying with me ‘cause he’s injured, and I can take better care of him.”

Demi narrows her light blue eyes. “Dude, you two are pretty much living together.”

I shake my head. “No, I’m just letting him stay with me, I swear! I’ve had people stay at mine off and on over the years. Hell, Saraya stayed with me off and on way more during the pandemic, and she was there way longer than Matt!”

“True,” Demi says, her tone a little stiff.

“I know how it looks, I do,” I reply gently. “But I just wanted to be helpful, that’s all.”

“Oh you really like him,” Gionna remarks, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

My heart swells in my chest. “You…could say that.”

The girls all smile, clearly giddy over my admission. I roll my eyes again and shovel another bite of pancakes into my mouth. The slightly salty taste of butter tickles my taste buds.

Soon enough, brunch winds down once we’re all full of yummy breakfast food. I insist on covering the tab just as Gionna has to leave to go to a doctor’s appointment for her injured shoulder. Victoria- who drove her here- leaves as well after we all exchange goodbyes.

As I sit down to wait for our server to drop off the check, I notice Demi looking more thoughtful than usual. I have to pause before I speak so I don’t spout off the inside joke Matt and I trade between one another.

“You okay?”

Demi looks up, startled. “Just thinking.”

I bite my lip. “I’m not upset by what you said earlier about Matt and I practically living together. And I’m sorry if I came off like I was.”

“No, you’re good, mate.”

“Good. I will admit, though- things are definitely pretty serious with Matt and I.”

At this, Demi raises her eyebrows. “Oh?”

I could tell her that Matt has brought up marriage, but I can’t. If Demi reacted the way she did over Matt just staying at my place, she’ll definitely freak out over the fact that he wants to marry me.

Another memory- one far more recent- jumps into my mind’s eye. I blink hard to swat it away, knowing that it will lead to me making a scene in this restaurant.

“It’s just because we’ve been spending so much time together, that’s all,” I lie. “It’s made things more serious quicker, I guess.”

Demi frowns. “Dude, are you okay?”

“Of course.” I say, the lie flowing from me with ease.

Our server finally arrives with the bill, which I quickly pay. Demi and I exchange goodbyes and walk out to the parking lot. By a stroke of dumb luck, our cars are far enough apart that Demi disappears from sight once I’m inside my car.

It gives me the perfect chance to keep myself from breaking down in public.

The day before Mother’s Day, I had overheard Matt on the phone with his mother, wishing her well. It had brought on a bittersweet feeling- on one hand, I was so happy that he got to talk to his mother. On the other hand, it was yet another reminder for me that my mother is no longer here, let alone my parents.

Still, I didn’t say anything about this to Matt. I didn’t even tell him that I had accidentally eavesdropped on his phone call. It wouldn’t have been fair to burden him with that when it’s not this fault my mother is dead. I just went about my day without giving it a second thought.

When it comes to holidays and missing my parents, my feelings range from a little sad to extremely depressed. Last year, I had been so busy preparing for the upcoming release of my debut novel that I had hardly noticed it was even Mother’s Day. The same thing happened with Father’s Day the following month. I didn’t mind; if anything, I welcomed the distraction that kept me from falling into the depression black hole.

This year, however, I woke up feeling sadder than I would on any ordinary day. I actually slept in, which I didn’t mind. I had also slept in the master bedroom for a change, as my sore back needed a break from the couch for one night.

My body was heavy as I slowly dragged myself out of bed. With Sundays being my one day off from working out, I took a long, hot shower to try and feel more like myself. Yet as I went about the rest of my morning routine- doing my skincare, throwing on my glasses, changing into a light grey sweatshirt and matching shorts, and pulling my damp hair up into a claw clip- my head was in a slight fog.

I trudged downstairs to find the dogs milling about, only to run over to me once my feet hit the landing. I cooed at both dogs, who happily wagged their tails while I petted them each with one hand.

“Morning!”

My eyes shot up to find Matt standing a couple of feet away on his crutches. I stopped giving the dogs attention and strolled over to him.

“Morning,” I said, looking away for a second to glance at my white fitness watch. “I didn’t expect to sleep in so late. Sorry about that.”

Matt chuckled. “It’s fine, baby. You deserve to sleep in!”

“Yeah, but what if you needed something?” I countered. “I should’ve been here, ready to take care of you.”

“I’m good, baby,” Matt said. “I know you needed a night in your bed for your back’s sake. I promise, it’s fine.”

Despite his reassurances, guilt continued to gnaw at my stomach. I looked down at my feet and tucked some stray strands of hair behind my ears.

“I have something for you,” Matt added.

I looked back up in a flash. “You do?”

Matt nodded before directing me to follow him into the kitchen. There, on the counter top, sat two fairly big glass vases. One held a bouquet of red roses while the other contained a bouquet of white roses.

“I wanted to get you sunflowers, but they all looked like shit,” he explained. “I hope red roses are an okay substitute.”

“They’re beautiful,” I said, pausing long enough to inhale their signature strong scent. “What are these for?”

“These,” Matt said, pointing to the large bouquet vase of red roses, “are for you to show my appreciation for you being such a great dog mum to Ash and Gary.”

I threw my head back and laughed. “Oh my God, you didn’t!”

“Hey, dog mums deserve to be celebrated too!” Matt argued with a chuckle.

“Aww, thank you,” I remarked. My fingers graced the delicate petals, taking extra care to not rip any of them.

Matt kissed my head. “You’re welcome, baby.”

My eyes soon landed on the white roses sitting in a tall cylinder vase I had never seen before. “Wait, what are these for then?”

In my head, I thought Matt had bought white roses as back-up in case I didn’t like red roses. While the idea seemed silly, it was the only explanation I could think of at that moment.

Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined what Matt would say next.

“They’re for your mum.”

I could have sworn my heart stopped beating at that exact moment.

“I figured today would be a hard day for you, and I wanted to do something to honour your mum for Mother’s Day,” he revealed, his voice surprisingly calm and even. “I don’t know if you do anything, but I wanted to do this anyway.”

Tears slid down my cheeks as my heart resumed beating again. I could feel a sob building up deep within.

Matt approached me and rested my head on his chest. The second I did that, I let out the sob I had been holding back. More soon came out, which led to me bawling into his white T-shirt.

I thought I would never stop crying. I had no idea how much time passed as I wept and wept. Yet Matt stayed in place, squeezing me just enough to make his presence known. Outside of cooing at me so I would calm down, he didn’t utter a single word.

Eventually, I slowly peeled myself away so I could wipe my tears away. I also removed my glasses to clean the lenses, which were cloudy and wet from sobbing so much.

“Sorry, I didn’t expect you to do this,” I said in a weak voice. “And I certainly didn’t expect to fall apart. But thank you- for the flowers, and for being here for me.”

“Anytime, sweetheart,” Matt replied as he used his thumb to swipe any lingering tears from my cheeks.

“And you’re right- today can be a hard day for me,” I confessed. “I usually don’t do a whole lot. I woke up feeling pretty down, to be honest. I still feel that way, but I also feel a bit better knowing you’re here for me.”

“I’ll always be here for you,” Matt vowed. “And listen- you do whatever you need to do to get through today. If you wanna be alone, that’s fine. If you want to spend time together, that’s also fine. Please, please, please don’t worry about my feelings, okay?”

More tears filled my eyes, forcing me to blink them away as best I could. “Are you sure?”

Matt nodded. “Positive.”

I took a minute to steady my breathing and mull things over.

“May I show you some family photos?”

“If you want.”

“No, I do,” I insisted, my voice sounding stronger. “This is the closest you’ll get to meeting my family, so I wanna do this.”

I led Matt to the living room and fished a medium-size cardboard box from a small closet nearby. Once we were both settled on the living room couch, I opened up the rather worn box and pulled out some family photo albums.

I started with showing Matt photos of my maternal grandparents, Richard and Olivia Walker. There were some taken on their wedding day, as well as photos of them in later years, including ones of them holding baby me at their quaint bungalow in Long Beach, California. I explained that my mother was an only child, who only came after multiple miscarriages.

“Grandpa died of lung cancer when I was fourteen,” I explained. “Then Grandma died from a brain aneurysm a month or so after that. That was hard ‘cause I was named after her, so we were pretty close.”

Matt squeezed my shoulder as I moved on to photos of my paternal grandparents, John and Lucy Parker. I showed Matt photos of them as young people to elderly folks with silver hair and wrinkles. We laughed at a photo of my grandfather throwing baby me in the air while my grandmother watched on in horror.

“He loved to freak Grandma out,” I said. “He’d do anything to get a rise out of her.”

“Sounds like someone else I know,” Matt remarked with a nudge.

I giggle. “I learned from the best, what can I say?”

Matt rested his head on my shoulder as I told him about my grandfather’s death from a massive heart attack two weeks after my fifteenth birthday. He kissed my temple when I revealed that my grandmother passed in her sleep almost two years to the day of her husband’s death.

“Dad thought she either had a massive stroke or a heart attack,” I revealed. “But he didn’t want to do an autopsy- said that there was no point because she was already so frail and unwell.”

Soon enough, I get to the photos of my mom and dad, Bruce and Susanna Parker. Looking at these photos hurt the most, but I pushed past my pain anyway.

We skimmed through pictures of my parents in their younger years- first as children in their respective families, then as teenagers, and eventually as young adults. I laughed when I came across their wedding photos, including the shot of them with their wedding party outside the church.

“Mom’s wedding dress always kills me,” I said when Matt frowned at my laughter. “She loved- and I mean loved- eighties fashion. Between the massive amounts of fabric, the shiny off-white silk, and puffy sleeves, it was…a lot. Sorry, mom!”

Matt laughed as well, and I did again.

But then I saw my favourite family photo- a picture taken at a wrestling match I had in Los Angeles when I was eighteen. Mom was wearing a colourful outfit while Dad had on his firefighter uniform, no doubt having come straight from work to watch me wrestle. I was standing in between them after my match, strands of red hair sticking to my sweaty face as I stood in my “ring gear”- a bright blue cropped T-shirt and matching shorts that stopped mid-thigh. We’re all smiling in the photo, with none of us knowing what was to come.

“This was taken the week before they died.”

My words hung in the air as I clutched the photo. I forced myself to put it back in the box to avoid damaging it. A fresh batch of tears filled my eyes, so I closed the box to keep from getting any photos wet.

“My parents went to a birthday party for one of my mom’s co-workers at the hair salon she worked at. They were out later than usual, but they did everything right- my dad didn’t drink so that he could drive them home. But a drunk driver sped through a red light at the exact time they drove through an intersection. I was told they died instantly, but I don’t know if that’s actually true, or if the cop who told me was trying to spare my feelings.”

I managed to set the box on the coffee table before breaking down again. Matt wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close without hesitation. Sobs wrecked my body the more I thought about the exact moment where my entire world had been destroyed.

“After they died, I was a complete mess,” I admitted after gathering my composure. “I was supposed to go to college- my parents insisted I go- but I just couldn’t do it. Instead, I went to Mexico about two weeks later, and wrestled there for a year. Another year later, I was signed to WWE and moved from California to Florida to chase that dream. And the rest is history.”

“Wow,” Matt breathed, clearly awe struck.

“I also fell in love with Taylor Swift’s music after my parents died,” I continued. “A week after their deaths, I forced myself out of their house, and ended up going to a CD store, of all places. I found Taylor Swift’s debut album- this was back in 2007, so it was the only album she had released at that point in time- and bought it because I liked ‘Teardrops On My Guitar’. I listened to it, and when I heard ‘A Place In This World’ for the first time…I broke. That song described exactly how I was feeling at that moment. That song made me a Swiftie for life, as silly as that sounds. I even have that song title tattooed on me.”

I shifted in my seat and pulled up the sleeve of my sweatshirt to show off the small, pretty script inked on my upper left arm. I fixed my shirt a minute later and rested my head on Matt’s arm.

“I know I dumped a lot on you in the span of a morning,” I said with a halfhearted laugh.

“No, you’re good,” Matt replied, kissing my head. “I’m so sorry you’ve been through all this loss. I’m proud of you for overcoming all of it to be the woman- no, the person- that you are today.”

I became choked up for the umpteenth time. “Thank you.”

“And I promise to never make fun of you for liking Taylor Swift,” Matt added. “Although I don’t see a future where I become a Swiftie.”

“That’s okay,” I said, laughing. “You can make fun of me for that.”

“No,” Matt remarked firmly. “Now that I know where it comes from, I can’t make fun of you for that. Not after you poured your heart out to me.”

I nodded slowly. “Alright. By the way, I want you to know- my parents would’ve adored you. They would’ve definitely approved of you being my boyfriend.”

Matt smiled warmly. “That’s good to know. And thank you for telling me, as well as for showing me so many photos of your family. I’m glad I finally got to learn more about them from you.”

“You’re welcome,” I said. “I figured now was as good a time as ever to do it.”

We shared a tender kiss, and Matt made sure all my tears were dried. He hugged me tight until I told him that I was feeling better- something that was more true than even I had expected.

We ended up spending the day watching episodes of House, a show I had recently gotten Matt into. We watched that and also chatted about Matt’s first SmackDown taping coming up soon.

A day that had started with heartache and tears had ended with warm gestures and laughter.

By the time the memory finishes playing in my head, my breath is shaky and my eyes are wet with tears. My hands have a death grip on the steering wheel as I try to gather my unraveling emotions.

I’m so stuck in my head that I almost miss my phone going off. I grab it to find that Matt just texted me.

Matt: Hope brunch is going well!

I check the time on my watch, only to curse when I realize I’ve been sitting in my car way longer than expected.

Olivia: It ended a while ago. Sorry, I lost track of time. On my way home now. Do you need to grab anything?

Matt: I’m good, thanks. You okay?

Olivia: Just got thinking about the other day, that’s all. Didn’t realize how much time passed until you texted me. It was stupid of me.

Matt: No worries, love. Drive safe

Olivia: Will do, love you

Matt: Love you more!

I set my phone down and rest my head on the steering wheel amidst a shaky breath. A lot has been happening recently- some good, some emotional. All of it is a lot- not that I’m about to complain. But it all has an effect on my relationship with Matt, whether I want to admit it or not.