Hi! I'm questioning if I'm ace or not.
I saw someone else question about the um, actual s*xy bits. Like if I don't see those as attractive (I actually think they're gross), like in adult funtime vids, or even in pictures—shirtless guys are nice, but anything below the belt is gross. Women in their underwear are nice, even totally top less is kinda interesting; but as soon as the lower panties come off, its just ew to me.
I've been questioning for about a week now and considering the actual... naughty bits was something that occurred to me because of someone else's post. It was a different way of thinking about all of my confusion and I think it kinda cements the idea of me being ace.
Uh, sorry, I guess my question is, if I like the naughty bits, am I not ace? Since I definitely DON'T like the naughty bits, am I ace? I don't feel attracted to people (I think; i think I just get nervous, but I haven't had an intimate experience or relationship with someone and so its hard to tell. The idea of doing something with a person is just gross and weird, even doing something on my own is also gross and weird). Also I'm 19, so I could just be a "late bloomer" (as far as puberty affecting my "drives" goes) or maybe gray-ace/maybe demisexual, if I ever find someone. I'm pretty sure I'm biromantic but I'm just trying to pin down the sexuality part of it now.
Sorry I know this was really scattered but I'm just. Really confused since there are a lot of labels and categories and whatnot.
Don't be sorry! It can be overwhelming to try to find the right label.
First off, you're most likely not a late bloomer. Apparently people start to feel sexual attraction from like age ten or something. A late bloomer would probably feel it around maybe 15? Since you're 19, I don't think you would be a late bloomer.
I think gray-ace could fit. It sounds like you sometimes experience sexual attraction, but not always, and gray-ace is where someone sometimes experiences sexual attraction without a "rule" (unlike more "rule-based" ones like demisexual/fraysexual/etc). And it seems like you might be sex-repulsed, that means you wouldn't want to participate in sexual activities. It is possible to feel sexual attraction and be sex-repulsed at the same time.
Liking and not liking the naughty bits doesn't definitely say whether or not a person is ace, since there is such a wide variety of sexualities on the ace spectrum, so don't feel like it comes down to that if it makes you stressed or more confused.
I hope this helped at least a little bit!
