#graveyard work

A Guide to Graveyard Work

One of the earliest introductions I had to spirit work as a baby witch was graveyard work. In short, this practice involves building relationships with the deceased spirits of a graveyard, by communicating, leaving offerings and being mindful of their space. It is part of a wider practice known as death work, but this focuses specifically on how to enter and respect what is essentially the 'home' of the spirits you are working with. You can further build on your practice from this.

This is a handy guide to the different aspects of the practice, looking into the appropriate offerings and etiquette, written with a lot of love.

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Graveyard Etiquette

There are rules you must follow in graveyards, whether for your personal safety, out of politeness, or following the law of your country. Sometimes these overlap. But sometimes, the rules you hear might be no more than baseless superstition, which there is a lot of concerning graveyards. There are way too many superstitions to list, however -

Some good rules to follow are:

Don't begin this work with the intention of taking from the graveyard or using the spirits in your practice. In the same way you wouldn't take from a stranger, it's important to build a relationship before you ask for things.

Try not to stand on graves where possible, out of respect for the dead but also those mourning them. Sometimes, graveyards are set up so that it is impossible to go anywhere without stepping on something, which is okay so long as you're not intending disrespect. However, do be wary that headstones can fall and the ground can shift.

Some people believe you shouldn't take any photos of the graves. I personally think that if the grave is old enough, it doesn't matter too much. If the grave is modern, it might be inappropriate for those in mourning to see you taking photos.

You can clean up trash, but be mindful of what might be considered trash. Obvious thrown-away food and drink packaging might be appropriate to clean up, but what if someone left a deceased one's favourite food at their grave? Or what if you decide to get rid of a toy or letter left there? Try to avoid cleaning up around the actual graves and focus on cleaning near the gates or in empty areas.

Don't trespass! If the cemetery has set entry times, enter and leave only within those times. Don't jump the fence, and don't enter any areas that are clearly gated or off-limits.

Leave an offering when asking to take something from the cemetery grounds. I don't feel it necessary to leave an offering each time you enter, especially if you plan on visiting often. But, if you want to take something like graveyard dirt or plants growing there, leave an offering for sure. And make sure to ASK. If you feel wrong, it's a no.

If you EVER find anything askew in a graveyard, such as vandalism, theft, or even dug up bones (it happens, I've found them before) PLEASE report it straight to the groundskeeper, associated church, or relevant authorities. It is not your responsibility to attempt to fix these things, or take things for yourself.

Offerings

You can leave offerings at the gate, or on specific graves if you want to work directly with that spirit. You don't always need to leave an offering, but it is a good thing to do when building a relationship and especially when asking to take from the site.

Some good offerings are:

Coins, especially two coins. There is a belief that the two coins are placed on the eyes of the deceased to pay the ferryman taking them over the river Styx. This has been maintained as a tradition.

Flowers. Even better if you look into Victorian flower symbolism for older grave sites and base your offering on this.

Origami. I would often fold multiple tiny cranes and leave them as offerings on individual graves. The best part is they are biodegradable.

I would be wary of leaving any kind of food or drink, as you might attract animals or even cause harm to the ecosystems living there. The same goes for anything made of plastic or that could hurt an animal.

Natural items such as seashells, feathers or stones are great, safe options for offerings.

You could also burn a candle or incense, but remember to stay with them while they burn and make sure they are extinguished when you leave.

Offerings don't have to be physical - you could say a few kind words, sing to them, or even just dedicating time to sit with the dead or talk with them can be an offering in itself.

Protection

I personally don't go into my practice thinking I could get possessed or followed by a demon at any given moment. However, I do think it's important to remember that graveyards can be full of a lot of upset, angry, and occasionally malevolent energies. Even if you don't intend to, these energies can attach to you or be taken home by you and can make you feel off.

Here are some ways you can protect yourself:

Cleanse yourself before and after entering a cemetery, even just by meditating and visualising or by using incense.

Check out my post on shielding techniques, and try to familiarise yourself with the visualisation techniques until you feel comfortable doing them.

Charm an item of clothing, such as a piece of jewellery, as an amulet to ward against negative energies that you can wear.

Find or create a protective sigil or rune that you can draw on something or on yourself.

You can pray to any deities you work with to ask for protection, especially if these deities are associated with death or spirits.

Communication

People who practice death work might communicate with the dead in different ways. They might be clairvoyant, use divination, feel energies or sometimes even just know what the spirits are saying. In any sense, spirit communication is a skill that is very much required in this practice. @koscheys-skull said it best here. You need good communication skills, in the sense that you are still talking to PEOPLE. And you need to go in with good intentions. If you are going in purely with the intention of using the dead for your own benefit, you won't get very far. If you can't talk to and actively listen with some semblance of empathy, you won't get very far. Death work is not an aesthetic, it is not for you to take your emo photos and be disrespectful. it is a serious, difficult and tolling practice that takes a lot of time and refining.

If you have gotten this far, I wish you all the best. It is a difficult but ultimately fulfilling part of spirit work, and if you are ready to dedicate the time and effort to it, you will get a lot out of it.

First, here are things to do in a graveyard. This includes what to bring and what you can do plus some etiquette.

First, have decency and respect.

If you plan on gathering anything, bear the correct offerings. Such as: A small (1/2 oz) of hard liquor, payment (9 to 27 pennies), Jasmine incense joss stick, bouquet of flowers, Florida water (preferably homemade) OR Kananga water, also homemade - both of these are sacred to the muertos, but to draw them to you, Kananga water works best; good sized piece of Quartz, double terminated to use for housing a muerto temporarily (yes, you can put a muerto in a crystal but they must be transferred to a vessel and pacted within 2 days - no more than this.)

For protection in a graveyard, especially if you are very sensitive/psychic: Wear a white bandana on your head before even going in. And don't wear black when you go there. Why? As a daily wearer of black clothing, I noticed a big change when I wore all white to the graveyard. It's actually more powerful. White radiates healing power and seems to quiet the muertos, but it also gives them a sense of relaxation and peace when you are around them. They are easier to communicate with. I noticed that black seems to tangle up communication. I don't know why. I guess that white flows better. But I hate it because I instantly get white filthy. LOL!

Some ppl say that there are no dead souls at the graveyard, that they don't hang out there. That's wrong. Some of the muertos do hang out by their grave, watching over it. Many of them can be like sentinels. Rodolfo says he used to protect his grave but as soon as I found him and started visiting, he wanted to just be with me. I got that distinct feeling, so I picked him up one day. I didn't realize how successful I was!

Graveyard Work: That includes gathering dirt, Siphoning the Earth with a Baston de Muerto, curses and hexes, and other full blown rituals -these can be done - but homage must be paid to the Earth in the graveyard. The best way of doing this is a buried offering of your own blood on a piece of small parchment which is placed in a very small glass corked bottle. This buried offering gives you a real relationship with the land that holds these muertos. It is very deep respect. And no, there is NO gatekeeper in graveyards, That's a widely professed misconception. I have never once been approached or sensed any "gatekeeper" of any kind. All that there is - in a graveyard - is known as the "heart" of the graveyard. This is the central zone. It is sensed by feeling where you notice an electrical charge the strongest and a smell of the freshest air that you have ever experienced. I like to do my work there unless I'm at Rodolfo's grave.

What exactly to expect with graveyard work? Is it dangerous? Don't get your expectations up too high. Graveyard work is great and very powerful, but you are not exactly going to see flashing lights and muertos dancing. It is often very low key. But the results of graveyard work can be fantastic! It is only dangerous if you go into the graveyard with no knowledge of what this work entails. This is NOT for beginners! If you know nothing, you may get a spirit attachment and that can be hard to remove. Try the precautions I mentioned above.

Don't leave empty handed. Gather an item from the Earth of the graveyard besides dirt. I'm not talking about robbing graves. I'm talking about something like a white Quartz that is often on top of graves, or any other rock that has been sitting on a grave. This is another powerful totem that you can use in your practice to represent and draw Death Energy to you, It does NOT need cleansing. Cleansing would ruin it.

Kindness for the Earth and muertos - Please pick up any garbage that you see in the graveyard. People are litter bugs and I hate seeing trash hanging around a beautiful place that I venerate.

What NOT To Do In The Graveyard

Don't take this resting place lightly.

Don't yell or scream.

Do not run around in a graveyard unless there are trails. (We have them here in Oregon). Running is very loud to the muertos. Would you like your grave stomped on?

Don't litter.

Do NOT desecrate a grave, tip over, break, or steal a tombstone. It is not funny.

Do not have intercourse in a graveyard, It is very disrespectful. Not kinky.

Do not invoke/evoke Demons in a graveyard unless you know what you are doing. This can open you up widely for a demon/spirit attachment. I said lowercase "demon." That is my difference between known Demons and demons that are low level "lesser demons" and are not in a hierarchy. They can be extremely dangerous. These demons are NOT worshipped. Never give them blood. Once you have a lesser demon's name, it loses power and it's a lot easier to banish. I've done this four times successfully. It's very heavy and quite difficult but my method works.

Do NOT "ghost hunt" in a graveyard (or anywhere else!). It is extremely disrespectful and the muertos will leave. If there is any EMF involved, the muertos will not come back for a very long time or it will anger them so much that they will retaliate. They do NOT like EMF. That's why they love Shungite and Orgonite so much - gets rid of EMF. This is MY theory that I've studied and put to work. Rodolfo LOVES the Orgonite pyramid I put on his altar. To a muerto, EMF is like a huge bass speaker vibrating in their ears very loudly. Annoying? Yeah, I think so.

Do not talk shit about the muertos in a graveyard. This is obvious, right?

Refrain from drug and alcohol use in a graveyard. Picnics are acceptable though.

Well, I think I hit a lot of angles here. I hope this helps or is interesting. I'm not trying to be harsh with "rules." It is mostly common sense or just rules of thumb to keep in mind for a nice, safe, and meaningful visit to the graveyard for work or general visitation,

it feels... different. seeing them prepare the space instead of just knowing they probably are

so i lit one of my unused candles for the deceased, and for the living that they left behind. ill be doing a ritual later with some of the bread i made, its still proving, as a offering to Thanatos

La Source Ancienne Ounfo – is one of the New Orleans based Vodou society – that celebrats the Day of the Dead/Fet Gede with an annual Vodou ceremony to invoke the Gede so we can come together in community to honor the dead (family) or not.

In Mexico's Days of the Dead are the days when the veil separating the Living and the Dead is most diffuse and the Dead come back to visit the living – children visit on Oct 31st, the familial adults on November 1st, and the unremembered Dead on November 3rd. The Haitian Day of the Dead, Fet Gede – the festival of the Sacred Dead, coincides with the Mexican Days of the Dead. The entire month of November.

November 1st. & 2nd. In Haiti & New Orleans this holiday can be a vibrant as Mardi Gras and as sacred as St John’s Eve.

During Fete Gede we “feed” the ancestors with offerings of food or foods that their dearly departed by laying it at their gravesite and wear black white and purple clothing throughout the event.

On this day we actually dance with the spirits. The particular death Lwa that we pay our respects to on this day is (Papa Gede) Baron Samedi, Maman Brigette and the family of Gede.

Even if you are not able to make it to Haiti or New Orleans for Fet Gede festivities here is an outline on how you can still pay tribute to the dead in the New Orleans tradition on a smaller scale.

If you have your own spiritual practice review your practice’s guidelines, incorporate aspects that pay respect Below is a suggestion for honoring the core Gede of the Cemetery on this special occasion.

Preparation: Before you even walk into the cemetery you should be prepared with the following:

Offerings: Pennies and/or rice: I use pennies) To pay the dead before entering the cemetery and at gravesites.

Food: Homestyle food that your loved ones would enjoyed.

Flowers: White, purple or red & flowers that your ancestors liked.

Rum. (you can purchase the shot bottle size) or Coffee (strong/dark) A small pack of cigars or cigarettes (unfiltered)

Wear: black, purple or white.

Visit: On the day of your visit take a shower or bath before getting dressed. As you dress align your thoughts and intentions. Collect your offerings. When you arrive at the cemetery gate: You should ask permission from spirit to enter. Leave a few pennies or rice at the gate. if you get a yes or no answer. If your intuition tells you that you should not enter thank the spirits go away and come back another day, try another cemetery. It's not a bad thing try another cemetery and ask again. Once inside visit the Gede family. The first plot to visit is Papa Gede /Baron Samedi: Aka the Baron (Lord). In catholic and Haitian graveyards, this marker is usually very prominent as the Cross of Baron.

Offering Day: Rum & Cigars. Also acceptable: Coffee, roasted peanuts, sunglasses with one lens, small raunchy toys or souvenirs.

Greeting: (Taken from Voodu Visions: By Sally Ann Glassman)“For the Bawon, in her society– they say these words.

Say: Come to the crossroads, dance, joke, you who are the sentence of death. Accept our offerings. Enter into our hearts, our arms, our legs. Enter and dance with us.”or“Father of all the dead help is us in our (our named persons) grief, let us welcome the dead to the Mysterious Abyss. Make us ever potent and my our offspring be safe in your care”(Place your offering)

Place your offering by pouring some of the rum and puffing a cigar or placing some tobacco. Do not inhale the smoke.

Once you have greeted Papa Gede next visit Maman Brigit Maman Brigit (Gran/Brijit/Brigette) is honored. She is the wife of Baron Samedi and the Goddess of Death. In Celtic traditions she is Brigit. In Yoruba she is Oya. Maman Brijit is a very powerful Lwa and the queen of banda dancing and the market place.

Offerings to her: Coffee or Pepper rum, Purple flowers (violets, lavender, iris, or fuchsia). Puff smoke from the tobacco.

Greeting Maman Brijit: A song that Haitians sing to Maman Brijit goes as follows as translated from Haitian Creole.

“Gentlemen of the cross (ancestors) advance for her to see them! Maman Brigitte is sick, she lies down on her back, A lot of “talk” won’t raise the dead, Tie up your head, tie up your belly, tie up your kidneys, (imitate tying a belt around your waist) They will see how they will get down on their knees.” (get down on your knees) “Maman Brijit, awake it is Fet Gede today”!or“I am calling you Maman Brijit, can you see? I bring food/ smoke and drink to honor you. Please accept this offering. This food and drink and smoke are for you Maman, please bless me with (Healing/ Prosperity/ Favor with … through your grace Maman Brijit.” (Give your offering) Place your offering by pouring some of the rum and puffing a cigar or placing some tobacco. Do not inhale the smoke.

If you are visiting relatives: Pay your respects at their grave, leaving flowers, food or wine. Talk to them.

Make sure to clean up any trash and consider cleaning off their grave. If you don’t have any relatives see if you can find a gravestone with your family’s last name, a noteworthy ancestor of a similar background as you who lived in the town or someone who resonates with you.

Maybe I was simply projecting. Intrusive thoughts are like that, sometimes.

Half strewn and baked across the sidewalk, half resting on desperate grass, the corpse stretched out as if relaxing in the Sun.

It is hard for the spirit to decay into its separate essences, for the Self to shed the meanings of fur and flesh and Bone when there is no means of rest. The road was loud, the sidewalk possessing only those who would not notice or those who would be unsympathetic.

Except, for us.  Those whose behaviors occasionally sing of instinct, the One Who Paints With Words, and the one who, today, Decides How the Universe Chews.

It was just so tired.

A halo of fur betrayed the animal's color. A hue of dusty sunsets, once loved by gentle hands, perhaps. Something soon to be forgotten, save for within the nests of birds.

The smell was familiar. I coughed, though I no longer gag like I did when I was interested merely in anatomy, now that I understand the language of Bones. But this corpse was different, the scent of asphalt had seeped into the summer cured skin, earthy rot compounded with the breath of cars.

The skull had long been broken, possibly from a passing vehicle, likely from a passing boot. People were often unkind to the verminous Dead, unaware of their eventual similarity. Teeth jutted out from broken skin, and somewhere between them was likely a tongue so dry from thirst.

I whispered a greeting, loud enough for Bones, but too quiet for the road.  

She was just so tired.

The paw was stiff, more akin to bark, then to flesh. It had been so long, possibly weeks, before anything had touched the skin with gentleness.  But I was able to help him up, and they peeled from their place of unrest reluctantly. As she shifted, the wet smell of rot grew stronger, and he was placed gently within their utilitarian funeral shroud.

Windows down, faces in the breeze, the three of us left.  My car was once again an unorthodox hearse for those who do not understand headstones. She was quiet in the backseat as we discussed previous encounters.

It was quiet, where I brought him. Where they were to stay, until the bones had shaken themselves loose. It was someplace where he wouldn't be disturbed, save for the rain, and I playfully greeted the one who I had brought there before.  The vertebra dangled, and rattled with a joviality that comes when the dead is beloved.

I prepared the Earth with water, to rinse the space and Mark where they would lay.  And then I went to collect my passenger, carrying them over decaying logs, and friendly bones, whispering niceties and cooing my appreciation after I crossed the boundary. 

Just get it over with!

Surprised by the demand that was not a sound, I dumped the animal from the bag, and they landed with a dry thud.  

They were just. So. Tired.

I gently arranged the corpse, which had no need for gentleness, other than for respect, and was more interested in being allowed to rest. More water was poured over the thirsty, sun-dried animal, and the water pooled in the desiccated chest cavity as an offering to entropy.

Some of the other bones were ready to go, but we were familiar, and friendly, and I stained my fingers with Earth as I collected them, to take them where they would be loved, and have many things to say. But, some stayed, to keep the other company, and to bask in their own decay.  I would be back in a few days, with carrot flowers, and clovers, and water, and kind words.

There was a night of poetry, of stories, and art, and the bones were left to rest.

When I got home, I pulled the small round soapstone box from the shrine of Bones, sliding the graveyard dirt out of the way. When I lifted the lid, I gently touched the black fur, seeming grayer these days, and told her who I had met, and asked if she could go say hello, once they had been given some time to rest.

A while ago I made a post about a simple way for revenge on people already buried in their graves, in Chinese folk traditions. 

https://daveykimy.tumblr.com/search/revenge+on+dead+folks

Today after some reading, researching, and chatting and confirming with my nanna and some elders (nanna’s gossip buddies), I found out there are ways to take that curse further. There are ways to have the dead folks you’ve just cursed to an existence of angry and painful restlessness to go after and take their anger out on another living person. 

In addition to cursing the dead folks’ graves, you can dig their grave and place a paper cutout of a person on their coffin or into their urn. You would’ve written the target’s full name and birthdate on the paper cutout beforehand. The dead folks’ spirits you just cursed will now go after the target and haunt them, torment them, and take out their anger and frustration out on them. They won’t stop either, as time goes on the spirits will only get angrier due to being cursed to restlessness and eventually become a harmful spirit/evil spirit and Lord have mercy on your target then. 

 And because this is Chinese folk magic, there are more than one way to do one thing depending on who you talk to and which region (sometimes township) they’re from. Another way to curse dead people is to put a dead rat and a dead snake into a container, fill it with water and let it go rancid. Seal it with wax and bury it at the grave of the person you want to curse. This too will cause their spirit to become restless and wander the Earth in pain and despair, eventually transforming into a harmful spirit filled with rage who can’t move on to their next life.