#gradstudent

As a Psychology graduate here in the Philippines, I have seen firsthand how many of us carry the weight of the world in silence. I didn't just learn about theories in textbooks; I saw how my friends, family, and community struggle because they feel they have to survive alone. My journey has convinced me that mental health care isn't a luxury for the rich or a sign of weakness—it is an absolute necessity. We have so much potential as a nation, but we cannot reach it if we are emotionally exhausted from just trying to get through the day.

Alfred Adler {my favorite theorist also}, a famous psychologist, once said: "Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations."

As I was driving late to work, I asked Siri how many days until my 32nd birthday and she said 132. That felt so symbolic ✨So i decided to make these next 132 days special, by 1. setting a very clear health goal of losing 32 pounds, 2. blogging the changes in my life over the next few months (some stuff is happening with school, and my living situation) and 3. seeing how much closer I can get to the person I want to be before my birthday. (2nd goal- get all As in my summer course, 3rd goal - stop procrastinating and getting late everywhere, 4th goal- eat out less, 5th goal - drink less alcohol, 6th goal- take my vitamins every day, 7th goal- drink at least 96 oz of water, 8th goal- be caught up with all work assignments by the end of every week)

For the first time in months, I used my Weight Watchers app and counted my calories- I used 33 of my allotted 25, but the calories say I was under 1200, so I guess tomorrow I will just eat less processed foods. I went to the gym and now my arms are sore.

I think this is what burned-out feels like. Everyone I know talks about burn-out all the time, but I've never really put much thought into it. I've always just pushed through everything, except for sports or anything I wasn't immediately good at ( yes, yes, I know). I had so much anxiety as a kid that if I wasn't immediately good at something, I would rather quit than let someone watch me learn.

Anyway. Burn-out. School is something I didn't really have to work at, it just came naturally to me. For the most part that's still true, but now I have to actually apply the knowledge I'm gaining in grad school to my career and get it to long-term memory. for some reason, that is RIDICULOUSLY hard. I feel SO dumb in all my classes, and I always feel like everyone else knows way more about what they're doing than I do. Don't even get me started on practicum.

I know this is what I want to do. I know this is what I'm meant to do. So why must it be so mUcH all the time????? And so hard??? AGH.

Sincerely,