#godshands

realize how blessed i am.

how blessed we R.👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏽

all this stress we self place is not worth the goal.

it will come in due time, wakeup grind wakeup grind.

Currently, the most important that is unobtainable is.. I’d say uncovering the truth surrounding her fathers death. She still has dreams about it, and its something that even if she tries to push it out of her head and move on, she can’t. She knows there is more to it than she was told. 

At the moment, she doesn’t know what else she can do to achieve that goal. Her hired guard and good friend at the time was the only other one there and no matter how hard she has tried, his story on what happens remains the same. She doesn’t want to stir up her fathers spirit either because she has laid him to rest and believes the dead shouldn’t be disturbed after that.

That itch still eats away at the back of her mind however, and she continuously thinks about what else she can do to learn the truth. Truthfully its her own love for her father, and her own guilt that propels her. She believes she is the reason he died, and she can’t properly face that truth if she never learns that truth. So, instead it festers in her. She has nightmares about it quite often, that she caused the death of the one person she loved unconditionally.

That being said, its probably better she never achieves that goal because she wouldn’t be able to handle it, and deep down she knows that, even if she wont admit it, which is why she still actively tries to move past it.

Mozelle’s mindset has definitely gone through shifts and changes over the years I’ve played her, but one piece has remained central: her dedication to survival, no matter the cost of it — no matter how much of herself she must flense, no matter how much of herself must be destroyed or be faked into existence.

When Mozelle was first rolled back in Cataclysm, her mindset was definitely less cynical, perhaps even hopeful at times; at her core she wanted to bond with people and form meaningful connections, to find her place in the world, to simply live a life like anyone else and leave the shadow of what had happened behind.

And then everything that could go wrong, did.

Through Mists of Pandaria and early Warlords of Draenor, fear became her primary push: fear of repercussion; fear of not being good enough; fear of betrayal; fear of injury; fear of imprisonment; fear of dying; the list goes on and on. Her time with the Twilight’s Hammer hollowed her out and she turned herself into an artifice of a person to slide back into society—she could not quite recall how to be a person, but she could mimic the behaviors of others well enough until it became such second nature she didn’t know how to stop. From both of these aspects came a deep desire to be needed by others, so they couldn’t get rid of her just or being strange or discard her like rubbish.

Time went on and her perceptions of fear altered—she doesn’t think she’s afraid anymore, but really it’s just become one part finely-honed paranoia and one part anxiety that never goes away, and it’s all become so baseline to her perception of herself that it doesn’t register to her.

Mid-Warlords of Draenor and Legion simply saw a maturing of her personality without any major changes. She choked off the worst of her violent outbursts to better adjust to working with nobility, and grew to hate how she would be lauded at one point for verbally eviscerating someone and then hated by the very same person who’d lauded her when she did it again—but what is she, if not a vessel to fulfill the wills and whims of others, regardless of her own desires?

And, finally, Battle for Azeroth has seen her latest change in mindset: a growing arrogance bred both of her steady low-key exposure to the Void and of faking self-confidence until she made it; and the changes to her psyche perpetuated by the Gift of N’Zoth—among them, she’s become quite enamored with the seas she once feared and avoided, though she remembers her previous distaste of them enough to occasionally make comment on it.

What drives her now is her loyalty to N’Zoth (his so-called defeat, as far as she is concerned, is all merely part of a greater plan) and her own personal hunger for new explorations and for forgotten histories and secrets: to see and devour all that the world has to offer her—and yet, at the same time, she knows there will never be enough to satisfy her, and she will always go hungry in the end.

Well, I’m not very experienced with WoW or tumblr RP to be honest. Most of what I do in game could probably be summed up as city RP. I like to immerse myself in the character’s day to day life and have adventures on a smaller scale. Going to the store, bar, walking around, just seeing who I bump into. I really enjoy that kind of slice of life stuff. I like intrigue, and drama, and happy fun times, too! Nothing too particular. ^~^ As long as the characters feel real and a part of the world, I’m happy!

I definitely prefer smaller groups or one-on-one. I tend to get lost when there are so many paragraphs coming in to respond to. That and I’m a slow typer x.x . Events can be fun, but I usually end up as a bystander. I think 4-6 people is the sweet spot for groups. I’m more used to tabletop RP and I love to act out my character in that, so I definitely struggle sometimes to convey every little nuance I want to in a concise manner. 

 Love ya dearly, too~ 

   This should probably come at no surprise to those who interact with him often or have even read his TRP, but he’s super anxious. And it just kind of spiders out like all cracks do, some larger, some smaller. 

(Thank you for the question set, @godshands ~)