Life, for some normal people, takes it one step at a time. Some rush things, and some are just meant to stop and wander.
Me, on the other hand, is wanting to do something I can’t do for such a long time. I wanted to see and visit the General Hospital where I battle my sickness when I was a kid.
You see, most people who knew me (doesn’t really know me) do not have any idea that I battled Aplastic Anemia that ends up to Leukemia. Yes! I am a survivor. Yes! God gave me more chances to live this life. And yes! This has been my battle with Him on my side without me knowing.
So, to cut the story short, I’ve been wanting to see and visit the general hospital for such a long time now. But... my feet can’t take me there, they don’t want to move. My heart beats fast, feels like I am going to faint. My hands, too cold (not shaky though) that I can’t even hold a grip. My stomach makes me want to go home. I feel I’m having anxiety whenever I think of going there. My body just can’t...
I have these few memories from the general hospital. The big pillars where the ward is heading. Hospital bed where I am in together with the other sick kids. The almost spiral stairway where I used to slid and play. The back cafeteria. The blue card. The two small flat glass where they put my blood. And the door, where I see my mom looking at me, while I was crying and peeing when they did bone marrow procedure. These are the only memories I can remember after spending a year or two being in the general hospital and another eight to ten years going back and fourth for check ups.
I just can’t figure out how to face this and manage to see and visit the general hospital. Although God has given me everything I needed, I still need to pray for strenght, healing and other things this anxiety brought me. The Grace of God is sufficient and I know it will happen in time. I even pray that, if there is someone that God will use, for me to be with and visit the general hospital, I pray that it will be someone who I will be with forever as well. I want to hold his hand tight while entering the general hospital and I want to pray with him while doing this.
So, cheers to the time that I will be able to see and visit the general hospital and cheers to you whom I am praying for!
My God is your God also, who else and where else you will look for an answer? We might be in the middle of this pandemic, but our GOD is BIGGER. Pray and grow in faith, for God’s will is always good, pleasing and perfect.
