I came across a post on tumblr the other day that had a list of a bunch of books written for people who grew up in troubled/abusive situations. My parents weren’t abusive, and in fact they never once yelled at each other before my dad left, but it was, I’m realizing, an emotionally alienating environment.
Last night, I got nudged to buy one of the books on the list called “Adult Children of Emotionally Immatrue Parents: How to heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents” by Lindsay Gibson. I’d been considering buying it for a bit, but last night someone told me that it’s a key to a door on my own personal journey.
As I started reading it, I was really feeling Lugh’s presence, and I was stunned to find that He was sad. He kept telling me how proud He is of me, and kept nudging me whenever I read something that was particularly prevalent to me.
The biggest thing so far has been the continued assertion that children of emotionally immature parents often, as a defence, put other people before themselves and their own emotional needs, which they suppress as an assumed prerequisite for gaining someone else’s favour.
And...He was crying. I’m convinced of it, literally crying because I’ve done so much denying of myself in order to survive and cope with the things I’ve been through, and He was just so supportive, and loving, and then I was crying, He was crying, we were all crying...
Anyway. Most memorable quote:
“I want to see you to a place where you won’t shrink away when someone tells you they love you, like you just did. This is why I’m so set on you being true to you, rather than carrying out detailed and complex rituals to honour me. Honour yourself, and you will honour me.”
I’m still emotional about it.
