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i want destiny. i want narrative arcs that do not end human because human does not exist- not in this world, where seth’s descendants are all too happy to slaughter each other and the supposed predators will do anything they can to avoid slaughtering them.
sam claims his birthright, maybe not willingly, maybe as part of the deal. the king of hell, all of demonkind, and all he wants to do is be good. all he wants is to be clean, all bloodsoahed and lightningeyed under a crown of barbed wire. (gordon thought it was funny, just before he tore out sam’s heart. he was not the one laughing at the end of the night.)
dean’s parallel to the monsters he was raised to slaughter just becomes more apparent over time. his father’s ghost always just out of sight, always around the corner of his eye, always in the rearview mirror of the car he now haunts. when eve bit him, he couldn’t be cured, and he became eve’s supposed perfect monster. the only one left, after the two kids were killed, and turned by eve herself before he burned her from the inside. an alpha of unimaginable strength and power. who better to take his mother’s place in purgatory? (he always was a mama’s boy.)
and the angel with the crack in his chassis, the one who watched all four archangels get torn out of the grand plan, the one who always yearned after an absent, cold father, finds new meaning in reconstruction. and maybe heaven isn’t perfect, but they’re working on it. and maybe they can get it right this time.(of course, a little boy is born to a woman named kelly kline a few years later. and, of course, gabriel made sure to ask first.)
Warnings: Power Hungry God Cass, some swears I think, mentions of heaven&hell + god and angels, by the way I literally hit the max number of text blocks so this’ll be a multiple part thing
Y/n stood next to Bobby and Dean, trying not to let Cass know she was scared of who he’d become. This new Cass, the power hungry god, terrified her. But she couldn’t tell him. Cass’ hand touched Sam’s forehead and Y/n knew what had happened. Castiel took down the wall.
As Cass mumbled about the power he would now hold, Y/n was able to sneak behind him. She closed her eyes for a moment, the Cass she used to know, used to love, flashed in her mind. It hurt her to realize she had to do this, she had to do it for Sam, but she knew it wasn’t really her Cass. so, she raised her arms, the angel blade striking down into Cass’ back. She squeezed her eyes shut, slowly opening them when the bright light that was supposed to emerge from his body never came.
A deep, rumbling laugh emerged from Cass’ chest. “You really think an angel blade will work on me anymore? I’m a god, Y/n a mere angel blade will do me no harm. You can’t kill a god.”
Her eyes widened and she stepped back as he turned to her, pulling the blade from his chest. “You foolish, foolish girl. I hope for your sake I never see you again.” The blade dropped as he flew away, the brief whoosh of his wings left behind.
She collapsed, her knees digging into the cement floor. Sam rushed over, picking her up off the ground, aiding her in standing up, allowing them to walk out of the building and to the vehicles. 
“I’m sorry Y/n/n. I didn’t think this would happen. It didn’t seem like Cass could get this way.” Sam gave her a sympathetic smile as they sat cleaning each other’s wounds.
“I don’t know who that was, but that was not my Cass.” She murmured, carefully pulling the thread tight on his chest, cinching the wound.
“I know. Turn your head for me? I can’t quite get to the gash in your hairline.” The gash covered the exact spot Cass used to kiss on her head before they left each other, easily helping her anxiety before cases.
As the four of them, Dean, Sam, Y/n, and Bobby stood in front of the water reserve they watched, perplexed, as Cass pushed himself into the water, a whirlpool taking him under. The only thing left of him was his beloved trench coat.
Y/n picked up the coat, folding it gently and carrying it out.
“He’s really gone, huh?” Bobby asked, more to himself than anyone else.
“I guess so. Rest in peace, if that’s even an option.” Dean replied, opening the door to his impala.
Lucifer had taken over Sam. He hadn’t slept in days, Lucifer constantly nagging at him, not letting him sleep even a wink. Y/n felt horrible for the man, especially when she was able to sleep soundly. Of course, she would never sleep the same, not without Cass next to her. But at least she was able to sleep some. Poor sam.
Now, as Dean and Y/n stood in the office of Dr. Kandinsky waiting to see Sam after his accident, the two were made aware of the efforts put in by the doctors to help Sam’s “issues”.
“Relatives of Sam Smith?” Dr. Kadinsky asked as the two of them stood impatiently, waiting on the whereabouts of their brother.
“Yeah. Where is he?” Dean asked, flailing his arms.
“You have to calm down,” she turned her attention to dean before facing the doctor again. “Sorry, he gets a bit temperamental.” She gave him an apologetic smile. “Can we see him? He’s recovering from the accident, right?”
“So you’re aware of his car accident.” The doctor mentioned.
“Yeah, is he alright?”
“Sam was admitted. He was treated for a busted rib and minor wounds.” Dr. Kadinsky explained.
“Alright, we’ve seen worse. And?” Dean’s exasperation flooded the room.
“And… he’s locked on our psychiatric floor.”
Dean scoffed. “He’s had trouble before, but nothing major, why now?” Y/n asked.
“So you’re aware Sam’s experiencing a full blown psychotic episode?
“Psychotic?” Y/n raised her eyebrows.
“Yeah, it’s not like he’s freakin Norman Bates!” Dean shouted, causing Y/n to pull on his shoulder, calming him down slightly.
“I’m sure he isn’t. But, we need to determine whether the episode is brought on by insomnia or whether the insomnia is a symptom of his condition.” The doctor explained. “So we can figure out how to treat him.”
“The uh, the sleeping issue is new.” Y/n told him.
The doctor pulled in a large breath. “Well, we’ve pumped him full of sedatives as much as we safely can, but he won’t go under.” This caught their attention. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”
The doctor led them through the psychiatric ward, leading them to Sam’s room. “Hey, how are you feeling?” Y/n asked, knocking on the door lightly.
Sam seemed to pick himself up when he saw the two of them. “I think you should cancel my ufc fight.” He snickered, patting the spot next to him for his sister.
Dean and Y/n looked at each other, communicating without speaking. This was worse than they thought.
“We’re gonna get you help Sammy.” Dean smiled, patting his leg lightly.
Sam scoffed lightly.
“I don’t think that’s out there, Dean.”
“We don’t know that.” Y/n protested.
“As good as anyone.”
“Last faith healer we hooked up with had a reaper on a leash, remember?” Sam looked up at the two of them, eyes droopy. It was clear he hadn’t slept in days. “I’m just saying”
“What that you don’t want our help?” Dean asked.
“No, don’t waste your time on me.”
“If- If we don’t find help-“
“I’m gonna die. I know. Cass warned us about this, putting my soul back.”
“Screw cass!” Dean shouted.
“It’s really hard to keep the motivation to help you when you accept this so quickly Sammy.” Y/n smiled lightly at him, trying to make him understand.
“I know. I’m just exhausted. Death sounds good right about now.” Sam pleaded. “This is what happens when you throw a soul in Lucifers dog bowl.” Sam laughed pathetically. “There’s not just a cure out there.”
Dean stomped out of the room. Y/n shook her head lightly, lightly grabbing Sam’s head with both her hands and kissing his hair.
“Hey, we’re going to help you.” She gave him one last smile and followed Dean out the door.
Now, as Dean sat on the couch of Bobby’s old place, calling you every number he could think of to help him, Y/n stood opposite of him, researching anything that could help them.
Dean abruptly stood up, mumbling to the fridge to grab a beer. Bobby’s book whooshed off the table. “What the hell?” He turned his attention to his sister.
“What? I didn’t do that,” she motioned to Bobby’s book on the ground. “I assumed you threw it on the ground when you got frustrated.”
“No I didn’t- what is that?” He furrowed his brows as he picked up the card, flipping it around to “call 605-555-0102” written on the back.
So, Dean picked up the phone and called the number. “Hi, uh, my name’s Dean, a friend of Bobby Singers. I, uh, was looking for some info and a card with your number popped up. If you could call me back, thanks.”
“Well, let’s hope, huh?” Y/n asked, standing up from the table and wrapping her arms around her ‘brother’. He closed his eyes and let his head drop into her neck.
“Yeah.” He mumbled. They might not be blood but they were the closest thing to two had to family right now.
They sat at the small table, looking at whatever when Dean’s phone rang. “This is Dean.”
Y/n’s eyebrows raised. “Mackey. Calling you back. Real sorry to hear about Bobby.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“What you called about, I might have something for you.” Dean put the phone on speaker. “There’s this guy, goes by Emanuel. Kinda roams. First started hearing about him a couple months back. He healed the sick, cured the crazy. Naturally, I think something ain’t right. So, I went looking. Easiest way to get to him is through his wife, Daphne out in Colorado. So, I go. Told her I was going blind. Wasn’t a lie, my right eyes burnt out. She tells me, “go home. He’ll come.” So, I went. I set every trap, every test in the book.”
“That’s what we would have done.” Dean mentions.
“Shows up, passes every one. There ain’t nothing weird about this guy. Except… he’s the real deal.”
“What do you mean?”
“He touched me, my eye was fixed.” Mackey explained.
“I don’t believe in much that don’t suck your blood, but I wouldn’t call you on maybe.”
So, the two left for this so called “Emanuel”.
Dean knocked on the door as they approached, the door opening to a middle aged looking man.
“Hi, this is Daphne Allen’s house? We’re looking for Emanuel.” Y/n asked
“Well, you found him. Daphne’s resting if you don’t mind.” He led the two farther back on the porch.
“Yeah, Sure.”
“Um, so, we were hoping-“ Dean was cut off by Y/n lightly hitting his back. She motioned lightly toward the window where Dean caught a glimpse of supposedly Daphne tied up to a chair and gagged. The two made eye contact and he looked back at “Emanuel”, only to be greeted with a demon. The demon grabbed Dean, throwing him against the glass.
“I’d be careful, don’t you know your boss has out a hands off memo?”
“Please, what have you done to help him lately? Roman’s head on a plate? Whatever Emmanuel is, Crowley’s gonna want him. A lot more than he wants you lately. So-“ The demon was cut off by an angel blade stabbing into back. He had forgotten Y/n was with, giving her the opportunity to grab him before any real damage was done. He screamed as the electricity sparked through his body.
Dean pushed the body down the steps, landing at a man’s feet. He nudged Y/n, and she turned around, mouth dropping open. Cass was back? And in a sweater? The two made eye contact, but it didn’t feel right. “What was that?” The gruff voice she had grown to love sent shocks through her system. She thought she’d never hear it again.
“That’s not cass.” She whimpered lightly, head falling onto Dean’s shoulder.
“Did that creature hurt you?” He asked his wife as he untied her.
“I’m okay.” She murmured, sucking in a deep breath as she was freed. “But Emanuel, they were looking for you.”
“It’s okay.” He comforted as he held her. She caressed his face and Y/n bit her cheek. Emanuel seemed to notice the confusion and lead his wife over to the two, introducing them.
“I’m Emanuel.” He held his hand out to the both of them.
Dean hesitated momentarily. “Dean. I’m Dean. And this is my sister, Y/n.”
“Thank you for protecting my wife.” Y/n blinked.
“Your wife. Right.” Dean nodded, casting his glance to a frozen Y/n at his side.
“I saw his face.” Emanuel turned to his wife. “His real face.” He turned back to the two.
“He was a demon.” Dean explained.
Emanuel glanced at the ground. “A demon walked the earth.” He seemed astonished.
“Demons. Whackloads of them. You don’t know about…” Dean stopped. He must have been sheltered for some reason.
“You saw the demon’s true face.” She turned toward dean and Y/n again. “Emanuel has very special gifts.”
“So we’ve heard.” Y/n spoke. “You can heal people.” Her stare seemed to bore into Emanuel’s.
“I seem to be able to help to a certain degree.” She knew it wasn’t really Cass, but god did it feel like it. “What’s your issue?”
“Our brother.” Dean explained.
The three of them sat in the impala, the tension seemed unbearable. “So, Daphne. Is that uh, is that your wife?” Dean asked, looking over to Emanuel who sat rigid in the front seat.
He nodded. “She found me, and took care of me.”
“Meaning?”
“It’s a strange story, you may not like it.” Emanuel mentioned.
“Believe me, I will.”
“Well, a few months ago she was hiking by the river, when I wandered into her path. Confused, drenched, and unclothed. I had no memory. She said god wanted her to find me.” Dean and y/n made brief eye contact. Something was up.
“Who named You Emanuel?” Dean asked.
“Bouncybabynames.com.”
The two of them nodded confused. “Well, its working for ya.”
“It must be weird not knowing who you are.” Y/n mentioned.
“Well, its my life. And it’s a good life.”
“Yeah, well what if you were some kind of, I don’t know, bad guy?” Dean brought up.
“Oh, I, don’t feel like a bad person.” Y/n nodded, leaning back against the seat.
This was going to be a long car ride.
“So, your brother…”
“Sam.”
“Sam. What’s his diagnosis?” Emanuel asked.
“Well, it’s not exactly medical.” Dean explained.
“That should be fine. I can cure illness of the spiritual.”
“Spiritual.” Dean scoffed lightly. “Well, someone did this to him.”
“You’re angry.” Emanuel observed.
“Well yeah, dude broke my brother’s head.”
“He betrayed you, this, dude. He was your friend?” Emanuel asked.
“Yeah well he’s gone.” Dean sighed.
“Did you kill him? I sense that you kill a lot of people.”
“No, I uh, I don’t know that he’s actually gone. I just know that this… whole thing couldn’t be messier. I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but I always could.” Dean sighed. “What Cass did I just can’t. I don’t know why.”
“Well it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does!”
“No it doesn’t. You’re not a machine, Dean.” Dean shook his head lightly. “You’re friend’s name was Cass? That’s an odd name.” Y/n scoffed lightly from behind the driver’s side.
The impala pulled into a convenience store and Dean jumped out. “Oh, hey, just uh, sit tight, alright? And you stay with him?” Emanuel and Y/n nodded and the two walked into the store.
Dean felt a presence behind him. He turned around, about to attack, when the demon threw him into the beer fridge. He stood up, shoving the knife deep into the demon’s abdomen, sending the electricity spiraling. He pulled it out and turned around to two more.
He swung with the knife, missing and being hurtled to the ground, his knife blown out of his grasp.
He sighed, pushing himself up to fight when suddenly the one was stabbed, and the other began seizing, releasing the demon.
“Emanuel, you son of a bitch.” He looked up and was met with Meg.
“Emanuel? Yeah, not so much.” Meg smirked, pulling him up.
“Dean, Dean, Dean. You got some ‘splaining to do. Imagine my surprise when I track this Emanuel down, cozied up with you two? And he just so happens to be the spitting image of poor dead Castiel? So Dean, what’s poor dead Castiel doing in that junker out there with your sister?”
“Christmas caroling.” Dean snarked.
“Fun. But how’s he alive? Last I heard he tried to play god and went poof.” Meg drawled.
“I don’t know. And neither does he so I’d like to keep it that way. You’ve gotta stay quiet about it.”
“Oh I do?”
“He doesn’t know he’s cass.”
“Oh I know. I’ve been watching you for hours. So here’s the deal. You might remember Crowley and me were frosty back in the day? Well times haven’t changed.”
“Good.”
“That hurts my feelings. I’ve been so good to you Dean.”
“No, you’ve been good to you, sweetheart.”
“Look. Right now rumors of this wandering healer are strictly low-level. But body count’s getting high enough to change that. Folks start poking they sniff angel dust.” Meg explained as Dean shoved various snacks in his jacket.
“Yeah, they start falling all over each other trying to tell Crowley.”
“Now picture Crowley with his hands all over poor little amnesia Cass. Don’t get my wrong I’m gonna burn that smarmy dick. My time’s coming. But right now my army-of-one situation is not cutting it. It’s cold out here, there’s a price on my ass and I need friends.”
“Yeah, I get that. But I ain’t it.” Dean shook his head, starting to walk past the demon.
“That’s where you’re wrong Dean. ‘Cause I’m here to help you, and that makes us friends.”
“Help, huh? You mean see if you can turn harmless little Cass out there into an angel sized weapon?” Dean snarked.
“Like you’re taking him caroling. And by the way do you really want to keep going without any backup? Hey, I don’t trust you either. But I could really use Emanuel. And he trusts you, so for now it’s in everybody’s best interests to hold hands and cross the street together, okay?”
“We go straight to Sam. No detours.” Dean sighed.
“I love it.” Meg smirked.
“And one more thing. My knife.” Meg held the smirk, resisting lightly as Dean pulled the angel blade from her grip.
“You sure we won’t be safer traveling with a full throttle angel? I could jog his memory.” Meg offered.
Dean stared at her.
“Kidding! We wouldn’t want to upset the poor guy.”
Dean and Meg approached Y/n and Cass- Emanuel, standing outside the impala.
“Her face she’s-“ Emanuel started.
“Meg?” Y/n stared in shock lightly.
“Y/n, it’s a pleasure.”
“You scheming bitch. I can’t help but feel a weird attraction to you.”
“It’s a mutual feeling Honey.” Meg laughed. Dean rolled his eyes.
“We come in different flavors. I’m here to help.” Meg informed Cass.
“I think we’re going to be great friends.” She smirked.
“Alright, can we just go?” Dean threw his hands in the air and Meg and Y/n laughed.
“Good to see you again Meg.”
“You too Y/n.”
The drive to the hospital was, well, uncomfortable. Dean still didn’t quite trust Meg, and Y/n while she was around Meg, but Emanuel was fully shaking. It was terrible.
“This silence is very uncomfortable is there something I should know?” Emanuel suddenly asked. So many things ran through everyone’s minds, but meg settled with,
“I don’t know. Dean?”
“No. Meg has that effect. Awkward, you know?”
“That must be difficult for you.” Emanuel met Meg’s eyes.
“Dean’s making a joke, Emanuel.”
Emanuel chuckled lightly. “Oh.”
Y/n stifled a laugh, her head falling onto Meg’s.
Baby’s engine stopped and the crew rolled out, taking in the fight before them. Demons crawled around the entrance to the hospital dressed as nurses and doctors.
“How many of those knives do you have?” Emanuel asked.
“Just the one.” Dean sighed.
“Forgive me, but how else are we going to get through there?”
“Yeah Dean, got any other ideas?” Meg smirked.
“Excuse us.” Dean flashed Cass a polite smile and led Meg and Y/n away from the angel.
“Oh for the love of God. Sam’s in there! I know you two are enjoying the trip with your old pal, you especially Y/n.” Meg snapped.
“You think it’s really what cut and dry? Really? You know what he did. And you want to tell him and just hope that he takes it in stride? He could snap. He could… disappear. Who knows?” Dean’s anger cooled as Y/n tugged lightly on his shoulder.
Castiel’s voice broke the tension. “I take it we know each other.”
Meg smirked. “Just a dollop.”
“You can tell me. I’ll be fine.” Cass reassured.
“How do you know?” Dean questioned.
“You just met yourself. We’ve known you for years.” Y/n explained.
“You’re an angel.” Meg cut in.
Dean and y/n stopped, staring at Meg.
“I-I’m sorry? is that a flirtation?” Cass was utterly confused.
“No. It’s a species. A very powerful one.”
“She’s not lying. Okay? That’s why you heal people. You don’t eat.” Dean explained.
“I’m sure there’s more, we just don’t know.” Y/n gave Cass a reassuring smile.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” Castiel asked, sounding almost offended. “Being an angel- it sounds pleasant.”
“It’s not. Trust me. It’s bloody.” Dean explained.
“It’s corrupt. It’s not pleasant.” Y/n finished.
“They would know. You all used to fight together. Bestest friends actually. And a little more with Y/n here.” Meg smirked.
“More? Like, love, more? Am I Cass?” Cass cocked his head slightly.
“Yeah. We had been together for years. Around three years I believe.” Y/n gave him an awkward smile and leaned back into Dean.
“I had no idea. I don’t remember you. I’m sorry.” Y/n’s breath hitched. She knew this was coming, but it still hurt more than she could imagine. Dean kissed the top of her head.
“Look. You got the juice. You can smite every demon in that lot.” Meg explained.
Cass turned to face the lot. “But I don’t remember how.”
“It’s in there.” Y/n said, reaching up and patting his chest.
“I’m sure it’s just like riding a bike.” Dean commented.
Cass turned toward Dean. “I don’t know how to do that, either.”
Dean turned his head and blinked dramatically and Y/n stifled a laugh. He turned to face Cass again and gave him a look. “Alright I’ll try.” He said before venturing down the hill.
“This ain’t gonna go well.” Dean sighed.
“I don’t know. I believe in the little tree topper.” Meg smiled.
Cass walked up to the guards, nervous as all hell. “Hey I know you. You’re dead!” The demon told him.
“Yes I’ve heard.” Cass replied, placing both his hands on the demon’s chest before reaching one up and smiting him. The memories came rushing back.
He stomped up to the two others and did the same, more flashes of the prior years. He remembered the god, the deals with Crowley, sam, his relationship with Y/n, everything.
“That’s my boy.” Meg smirked.
“Cool it sister. I’m still a little pissed at you for making out with him.” Y/n smiled.
“Oh please you weren’t even together.”
“Still.” She laughed. Dean rolled his eyes.
The last remaining demon tried to run, but Cass was quicker.
The three approached Cass, who seemed to have relived every moment of his past. He looked, ruffled, to say the least.
“That was beautiful, Clarence.” Meg smirked.
“Cass?” Dean asked.
“I remember you. I remember everything.” Cass seemed a little more sullen than he usually was. His attention turned toward Y/n and she could barely look him in the eye.
“I’m so sorry.” Castiel met her gaze. “I never intended to hurt you.”
Something about the odd tone Cass had taken with his ‘sister’ rubbed Dean the wrong way. He had seen too much of her pain caused by him just to be swept off her feet with one feeble apology. “Of course you didn’t! No one does! But a simple “I’m sorry” isn’t going to cut it! You weren’t around to feel the pain radiating off of her! She was in shambles because of you! She deserves so much more than that!” Castiel became dead silent. Along with the rest of the group.
“Dean- it’s okay. I’m alright. Just happy to have him back.” Y/n tugged on his shoulder, pulling him down into her embrace. “It’s alright.”
He closed his eyes, breathing in the peach shampoo, calming the rage swimming in his body. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to flip out.”
“It’s okay, Dean. You were just protecting me. Thank you.” She smiled, kissing the top of his head.
“What I did. What I became. Why didn’t you tell me?” Cass speaking again pulled Dean from his state of comfort.
“Because Sam’s dying in there!”
“Because of me. Everything. All these people. I shouldn’t be here.” Cass finished, marching away from the three of them.
“Cass. Cass!” Y/n shouted after him. “You two stay here.” She turned to Dean and Meg before following the angel. “Cass!”
Y/n followed him up the hill, lecturing him as they went. “If you remember, then you know you did the best you could at the time.”
“Don’t defend me. I hurt you. Do you have any idea the death toll in heaven? On earth?” Nothing seemed to slow him down. “We didn’t part lovers, or even friends, Y/n.”
“So what?” She argued, throwing her arms up.
“I deserved to die.” Cass held her gaze.
Y/n bit the inside of her cheek. She knew he was right. He did deserve to die. But not him. Just the corrupt part. Maybe this did it. Maybe he’d be okay now.
“Now, I can’t possibly fix it… So why did I even walk out of that river?”
“Maybe to fix it.” She argued. An idea popped into her head. It may be dumb, it may not even be helpful, but it’d at least maybe bring back a part of the Cass she knew.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I'm just spitballing here but why did the writers think we would villify god!cas when he was just over here killing homophobes and the KKK like yeah maybe he's a little ~spicy~ but god!cas was Doin The Work
“Is it really foolishness to take up the role long since assigned to you?” Sam asked, raising one eyebrow. Castiel thought he could see lines of strain around the human’s eyes, but the voice was even. “They called me the Boy King here long before I even knew that a Prince of Hell had fed me his blood.”
Inspired by this story written by @ladylilithprime . I honestly could not take the image of the throne room off my mind.
Author’s Note: Fills my Leviathan!Cas square for @spnkinkbingo
Summary: Maybe it would have been better if Y/n didn't pray.
Pairing: God/Leviathan!Cas x Reader
Word count: 1002
Story Warnings: 18+! HERE BE SEX!! DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!!, oral (male rec), angst, badness, bad things happen to Y/n!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I hope, for your sake, this is the last you see me." Those were the last words Y/n heard from Castiel before he disappeared. She was confused, hurt, scared and as she helped Bobby get Sam back to Sioux Falls, she was feeling profound loss. There was no one she loved quite like she loved Castiel. Even when he was being calmly threatening them and saying he was God, she still loved him.
She prayed to him. She knew she shouldn’t. She knew he was on some crazy power trip and she really shouldn’t try to get his attention...and for weeks she was unsuccessful. Her prayers to the New God were left unanswered just as her prayers to the Old God. Still, she folded her hands and knelt beside the bed in her motel room and bowed her head.
“I have heard you, Y/n. Every night, you’ve diligently prayed,” Castiel said, appearing behind her with a rustle of wings. She spun around on her knees and looked up at him. He looked worn, tired. She’d never seen the angel--God, she’d never seen God look so exhausted. “You don’t fear me?”
“N-no. Of course not,” she whispered, eyes pricking with tears. She could never fear him. Even when he was scary, there was no more room in her heart to fear the angel.
Castiel took a step closer to her, his feet stumbling against the motel carpeting. She moved to stand, to help him, but he stood straight and put a hand out to stop her. “You feel love, Y/n. You call to me out of love.”
She took a deep breath, let her head hang. She swallowed, trying to rid herself of the lump in her throat. “Yes.”
“You love and respect me, no matter--matter what I’ve done?”
“Of course, Castiel,” she breathed.
He started to slump, hand shooting out to grab the footboard of the bed. “I-I need help. I need you, Y/n.” She stood immediately and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, moving him to sit on the bed. “So-somethi-something is wrong. I couldn’t-I can’t…”
“It’s okay, Castiel. It’s okay. Y-you, you’re gonna be…” She licked her lips and brushed his hair off of his forehead. “You’re just too hopped up on soul power. Jimmy Novak wasn’t built to-”
“No!” He shook his head. “I won’t give the souls back. I need them.”
She nodded. "Oh-okay, that's...okay. How can I help you, Castiel?" She started to pull her hand away, but Castiel grabbed her wrist.
"Keep touching me. It's calming." She swallowed nervously and tucked her fingers into his fluffy hair, massaging his scalp with her fingertips. He leaned into the touch and closed his eyes, a bit of relaxation flowing over him. "I'm trying so hard...to make everything...every--I am a better God tha-than my father ever…"
He shook his head as whispers assaulted his mind. "Let us out! Hungry! Need it! Let us out! Too late! Too hungry! Let! Us! Out!"
"Sh-should I stop?" Y/n asked as Castiel shook his head again.
"No," he said, definitively. "Keep going. Lower."
"Okay." She moved her hand to his neck, pressing her fingertips into the muscle.
"What are you, stupid? I meant my cock," he growled, snatching her right hand from his neck and dropping it to his lap. She squeaked, obviously scared by the outburst, confused by his sudden desire for her to touch him that way and definitely intrigued by the fact that she was going to get to touch him that way after being attracted to him for so long.
She ran her hand across the bulge in his slacks, heat filling her core as she felt him getting thick and hard under her palm. He took a deep breath and let his body relax further. "Hungry!" screeched across his mind, but he focused on Y/n, on her devotion, on her touch. His eyes closed and he leaned back to rest on his hands as she opened his belt and unzipped his pants, yanking them down and letting his hard length free from his boxers. "Mouth," he growled when she started jacking him. It didn't even sound like him.
She looked up at him with wide eyes for a second, making sure he said what she thought, that he meant what she thought. He didn't open his eyes, just grabbed a fistful of her hair and forced her face closer to his crotch. She took the hint easily enough, parting her lips and beginning to lick at the crown of his cock. His hand stayed twisted in her hair as she started to bob her head up and down his length, gagging when he thrust up into her wet mouth, but continuing all the same.
She was pushing him toward this foreign feeling, some amazing release he'd never known. She, with her devotion and love, was giving him something he never knew he craved. His body started to go tight, like a rubberband about to snap, and his hand yanked at her hair as he buried himself in her throat. White flashed behind his eyes, immediately chased by darkness.
He groaned when he woke, pushing himself up from the dirty motel room carpet. He wasn't sure how he'd wound up down there. He'd heard the term 'mind-blowing' orgasm, but he didn't think it was supposed to be literal. Blood on his hand caught his attention, and several strands of hair caught between his fingers. Y/n's hair. "No." He groaned and twisted, looking around the motel room.
Horror fell over him as his eyes found her, a bloody mess in the corner by the bathroom, a look of betrayal etched into her stone-cold face. "Castiel! Let us out!" His hand went to his temple. "Hungry! We're hungry! Let! Us! Out!"
Castiel reached out to brush Y/n's hair from her face and sighed. He pressed her eyelids closed and disappeared from the motel. God still had work to do.
