hi, i've got a low score on my tests, and ii'm feeling jealous of one of my friends who've scored good, like really good, and become the top rankers... would you have any tips on removing the jealousy to become more productive?
jealousy as motivation + how to turn envy into your next glow-up
hi angel!! alright, let’s get real. feeling jealous sucks, especially when it’s toward someone you care about. it’s like this weird mix of guilt and frustration and just straight-up feeling not good enough. but guess what? jealousy is normal. like, completely human. it’s just your brain’s way of saying, “hey, i wanted that too.”
so instead of beating yourself up over it or trying to pretend it’s not there, let’s figure out how to use that energy for good. you don’t need to sit with that feeling forever. let’s take it and make it work for you.
✧˖° own your feelings
first things first: let yourself feel it. none of that “i shouldn’t feel this way” stuff. it’s okay. jealousy is just a reaction, not a reflection of who you are. acknowledge it. say it out loud if you have to: “i’m feeling jealous, and that’s okay.” you can’t move past something if you keep denying it.
𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕪’𝕤 𝕥𝕚𝕡:
try journaling it out. just grab a notebook (or open a doc) and write, “i feel jealous because...” and finish the sentence. let yourself get messy with it. write every little detail, why it bothers you, how it makes you feel, and what thoughts are running through your head. you might find that just writing it out makes it feel way less heavy.
✧˖° figure out the why
most of the time, jealousy isn’t really about the other person. it’s about something deeper. are you jealous of their scores because you feel like you didn’t try hard enough? are you upset because you actually did put in the effort, but didn’t see results? or maybe it’s about feeling overlooked. understanding the root makes it easier to address.
𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕪’𝕤 𝕥𝕚𝕡:
ask yourself these questions:
➼ is this jealousy actually about my own self-worth?
➼ am i comparing myself because i secretly don’t feel good enough?
➼ is there something i admire about how they study or prepare that i could learn from?
sometimes the jealousy is just your brain’s way of saying, “i want to do better too.” and that’s okay. that means you’re motivated, you just need to channel it the right way.
✧˖° reframe the jealousy
okay, so we’ve faced it. now let’s flip it. instead of seeing your friend’s success as a threat or a reminder of what you didn’t do, look at it as proof that it’s possible. they did it, which means it’s not out of reach for you either. that’s actually kinda amazing if you think about it. it’s like the universe giving you a little nudge that, “hey, you can get there too.”
𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕪’𝕤 𝕥𝕚𝕡:
try saying this out loud: “their success does not take away from mine.” repeat it until it feels real. just because someone else did well doesn’t mean you can’t too. there’s enough room for both of you to thrive.
✧˖° turn jealousy into inspiration
now we’re getting to the fun part. use that feeling as fuel. instead of just sitting with it, let it push you forward. break it down: what did your friend do differently? did they study in a way you haven’t tried yet? did they stick to a schedule? maybe they just had a really good mindset going into the test.
make a list of things they did that you think helped. then, figure out which of those things you could realistically try for yourself.
𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕪’𝕤 𝕥𝕚𝕡:
ask your friend for tips. seriously. it can feel awkward, but most people love to share what worked for them. just be honest: “hey, i really admire how well you did on that test. i’ve been struggling a bit, do you have any tips or study methods that helped you?” you’ll get insights and might even strengthen your friendship.
✧˖° set your own goals
this is key. you’re not trying to “beat” your friend. you’re just trying to do better for yourself. so set a goal that’s yours alone, something that doesn’t depend on how someone else is doing. it could be something like:
➼ “i want to improve my math grade by 10% on the next test.”
➼ “i’m going to study for 30 minutes every day after school.”
➼ “i’m going to do one practice paper a week.”
make it specific and achievable. that way, your focus shifts from “i need to beat them” to “i need to be proud of myself.”
✧˖° practice gratitude (yes, even for them)
it sounds weird, but it works. next time you’re around your friend or thinking about their success, say (out loud or in your head), “i’m happy for them.” at first, it might feel forced. but after a while, you’ll notice it makes you feel lighter. gratitude has a way of pushing out the bitterness.
𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕪’𝕤 𝕥𝕚𝕡:
practice being your own hype woman too. list three things you’re proud of, big or small. remind yourself that you have your own strengths, even if they’re not the same as your friend’s.
✧˖° focus on progress, not perfection
the goal here isn’t to suddenly be completely unbothered by your friend’s achievements. it’s okay if it still stings a little. the goal is to not let that feeling stop you from going after what you want.
jealousy is just a reaction. it’s what you do with it that counts. use it to get curious about your own habits, find inspiration in their success, and set your own goals. you’ve got this, babe. i believe in you.
💌 let me know how it goes!! i’m rooting for you!
you’re allowed to feel what you feel, and you’re allowed to grow from it. rooting for you always 💕
xoxo mindy
