#glo's yapping

In June 2025, my dear friend Lulu (who you probably know as 14th-lulullaby) expressed a desire to organise a GoGe Big Bang to create a positive, supportive space for creators during a real low point in that part of the fandom.

In general, fanfic authors are treated very poorly by wider fandom. That’s a fact rather than an opinion, which is why I’ve always deeply valued how enthusiastically Lulu supports us. I have never come across another artist in this fandom who uplifts fanfic authors the way she does, making recommendations, creating fan art, opening the floor for others to share their favourite fics with her audience (regardless of whether they suit her own preferences).

Speaking personally, I cannot overstate how much Lulu has contributed to my experience in the Jujutsu Kaisen fandom. There are very few people in this fandom who genuinely put their shipping preferences aside in favour of calling out unkind behaviour, and it takes a rare kind of bravery and moral backbone to challenge your mutuals and friends.

The culture of a community is often shaped by one or two influential people, and I’m only really beginning to understand how much Lulu’s support has allowed me to feel safe creating for this ship when we have seen numerous authors hounded out of this fandom. If you’ve enjoyed any of my fan works in the last two years, it’s partly thanks to Lulu who has visibly and vocally stood by my side when I’ve faced harassment from a subsection of fixed top/bottom preference shippers.

Naturally, I want to give back to Lulu. Along with a few friends who all fall into the same category as Lulu — kind, passionate people who create out of love and refuse to turn a blind eye to hate — we started planning a GoGe Big Bang which would run into summer 2026.

Haters and naysayers

Of course, we knew we’d come up against some resistance. A fixed top/bottom Big Bang for a pairing embroiled in bad faith discourse, run by one fixed shipper and seven non-fixed shippers? One of whom (it’s me, ya boy) was the target of ongoing bother from people on both sides of the top/bottom divide due to their choice to remove top/bottom tags from their fanfics? There was bound to be drama! Indeed, we received a number of unpleasant messages in the first couple of months after announcing the project.

There were queries raised about whether it was truly a fixed GoGe project. There were thinly veiled threats (ranging from the amusing “I love Glo’s fanfics but if the mods aren’t going to vet who joins this Big Bang, then you all deserve the callouts and hate” to the slightly less amusing “what happens next is your fault”) from both “pro” and “anti” shippers due to our refusal to conduct background checks on participants. People accused us of participating in bullying and harassment campaigns (apparently being the victim of a bullying and harassment campaign counts as participation) and at the lowest point, we were even accused of being a “Nazi bar”! Wow!

Six months after I experienced three days of really vicious and targeted vitriol from vast swathes of the fandom, it was upsetting for the mods who had all seen it, heard about it, or supported me through it to some extent. However, it meant we had some experience participating in bullying and harassment campaigns (as victims, mind you!) so we were already well aware that if you give a bully an inch, they’ll take a mile. We stood by our guns, released a statement reaffirming our stance and putting emphasis on personal responsibility, and persevered with the project.

I’m happy to say that everyone who participated in the Big Bang, including participants who were directly named in some of the threatening messages we received, did so safely. Of course there were moments of discomfort, inconvenience, even annoyance — but that is the price of community. Our rules were clear, our enforcement of them was fair and consistent, and our event is evidence that people with different backgrounds, boundaries, and philosophies can coexist without anyone coming to harm.

Communication problems

After everyone was finally matched and settled, you’d hope it was smooth sailing from there, right? Sadly, the worst was yet to come for me personally. The project largely progressed smoothly throughout the first half of its duration. Over 100 people signed up for the Big Bang. As we wrap it up, only 64 are still standing, but this was something I expected. Naturally, some drop outs were easier to manage than others. Some happened early and came with a polite message, some happened very late and came without a word.

Of course, life happens and no one is obligated to tell a stranger on the internet anything about themselves. It’s frustrating when you see some of those same people running around the fandom after they ghosted us, and I do wish that people were generally a little more respectful of other people’s time, energy, and even feelings. Even when it’s uncomfortable, I am a firm believer that clear and direct communication is the kindest and least damaging course of action for everyone in the long term.

Like I said, none of that was unexpected. However, what was unexpected was a lack of clear and direct communication on the mod team.

The section that follows is the most difficult part to write and probably the most difficult part to read, too. Almost all of the mods are probably people you know and they’re my dear friends, too. Nothing I say here is anything I wouldn’t say (and haven’t already said) to them directly. I love every single one of them and I understand that so much in our lives is out of our control. Everyone reacts differently to things, but the fact remains that this has had a hugely negative impact on me in the last six months and I want to talk about the realities of running a fandom project with friends, as uncomfortable as that may be for everyone.

Our mod team was truly a model example of how a fandom mod team should function when we started out. We had open communication, we kept each other in check, and most importantly, we were honest with each other to a fault. We were never afraid to have polite disagreements or voice discomfort, and we worked together to solve all problems that arose. We each took on named roles covering certain duties, with a demonstrated willingness to step outside of those roles to support each other as needed.

In the end, the biggest threats to this project were time and passivity. A lot can happen in a year, and a lot did happen in a year. Life is constantly happening to all of us. It never stops coming at you, and everyone has a different tolerance for its ebbs and flows. We naturally shift things up and down the priority list to cope with the ups and downs of life, but our priorities rarely exist in a vacuum. Other people are always affected by our choices and actions in some way — which is when clear and direct communication is most important.

The marathon game of jujutsu sorcery

I’m not going to go into details because it’s both inappropriate and it’s water under the bridge at this point, but I will briefly describe what happened for the sake of sharing how it affected me.

Early in the year, I noticed that a few mods were picking up a lot of the slack and I was struggling to get responses from people when I called them in for support. This got gradually worse throughout the year until it reached a critical point in June as we approached the posting period with only three mods out of a total of eight actively working on the project. My role was “writing and social media mod”, but I had been doing vastly more than my fair share of the work for a long time, and this was almost my breaking point.

Life was happening to me, too. My partner unexpectedly ended up in hospital with a serious condition, we took a financial hit as a result of enforced time on sick pay, I lost someone I’ve known my whole life to late diagnosed and aggressive cancer, and I was doing a lot of emotional labour for friends going through difficult things.

At the same time, people who still have a hate boner for me 18 months after I committed the “sin” that marked me out as sexy Lucifer in their mind’s eye started acting up again, because I posted a long awaited chapter of my beloved fanfic which a lot of people openly enjoyed and showered love upon. I guess it was an unpleasant reminder that I exist.

Little tip if you want to participate in a fandom project: don’t not-at-all vague post about the social media mod for the event you’re in. You probably won’t see this because you’ve blocked me, but I saw you. The only reason we didn’t kick you is because it wouldn’t have been fair on your partner. If you want to be part of a community, learn to keep your mouth shut if you haven’t got anything nice to say, especially if it’s about the same people who have given you a place in a community and especially when you have tons of mutuals in common with them. Take it to the fushiglow haters group chat next time. It’s embarrassing.

All in all, I was left feeling very under-appreciated and undervalued, both within the project and by the wider fandom. That breeds resentment. This event has eaten into my time to pursue my own creative hobbies, it’s altered some of my relationships irreversibly, and it’s harmed not only my mental health but my outlook. I give so much of myself to this fandom beyond the stories I write and share for free, and it felt like nothing was enough. Strangers were still twisting themselves into knots to see the worst in me after years of giving my best, and even when I was asking for help, I felt like people close to me didn’t care that I was struggling under the weight of the responsibilities they’d left behind, alongside everything else happening in my life.

These are the true feelings I decided on

If I dropped out at such a late stage in the project, I’d be shoving the problem onto someone else I cared about. After all their hard work, the participants would feel the consequences, too. I felt trapped in a cycle of giving loads and receiving nothing back, and in true Getō Suguru style, I started asking, “Who am I doing this for?”

That’s just not me. That’s not the kind of person I strive to be. That’s when I realised how badly this entire thing has impacted me. Do I think my emotional response was reasonable considering the circumstances? Yes! Do I think I’ve been on the receiving end of unfair treatment? Absolutely!

However, outside the transactional exchange of labour for money at my full time job under a capitalist economy, I’ve never done anything for the thanks and praise at the end of it, and I’ve never let a bitter person’s opinion of me change my course either. I’m not going to start now! I refuse to feel resentful about this a single second longer!

Still, there is a sad takeaway, which is that I will likely never take on a fandom project like this again, especially not with friends. Even putting the emotions aside, it took too much from me. It took too much time and energy that I would have preferred to put towards other things that are more personally enriching and fulfilling.

Fandom projects are built purely on mutual trust that everyone will pull their weight and see the commitment through to the end — or otherwise openly communicate that they’re withdrawing so people can take measures to reduce the burden they leave behind. On this occasion, extending that trust came at a significant cost. In the future, I’d be foolish not to take that into account during my risk-benefit analysis.

Positive reflections and moving forwards

As I gain some distance from this and slowly return to the person that past Glo worked hard to become, I am practising gratitude. Every difficult experience in life comes with a lesson or two or three — and there are benefits to this! Huge benefits! Enormous benefits!

I did some maths and I worked out that, at this present moment, the Big Bang has contributed 685,000 words and 180 artworks to this fandom and counting! It’ll probably be closer to 800,000 words, if not more, by the time everyone has finished posting their fics!

At a time when genAI is running rampant and human art feels less valued than ever before, that is such a phenomenal achievement. I am very proud that my efforts have facilitated that, and I’m very proud to have helped some of our participants to finish their first ever fanfics, too. These are the results of the supportive, creative environment that we nurtured through this project, and that is a very comforting and encouraging thought.

While this is harder to evidence, I also believe this project has gone some way towards healing a rift in this fandom community. There are some miserable people who wouldn’t support the Big Bang if they realised that the person who’s been holding down the fort for the last couple of months is “the worst switch shipper you know” (hey, I’m gonna juice that one for all it’s worth), but those people will always exist. 

However, this event has brought people together from all corners of the fandom. We had GoGe shippers, GeGo shippers, and switch/vers shippers working together towards a common goal peacefully and happily. We even had some complete newbies to the fandom participating who’ve since published a complete story for the project!

When I think about how I was feeling about this fandom on Christmas Eve 2024 and I compare that to how I feel today, how could I possibly regret this Big Bang? It’s contributed some real good to the world. I believe that with all my heart.

In canon, I see Sukuna as someone completely disconnected from the body. For him, the body is merely a vessel for the true self. That's his answer to the body vs soul question that's posed throughout Jujutsu Kaisen.

The problem is, his original form is a big "scary" body that comes loaded with preconceptions, both for characters in universe and readers of the manga. He is a "monster" to everyone except Gojo (and later Yuji), who first recognises him as a human very early in the story. Surely not a coincidence?

I've said many times that Gojo vs Sukuna is my favourite arc in the manga. Putting shipping aside entirely, these two characters have always had a very compelling relationship to me. It heavily informed chapter 16 of Over the Threshold, which is fundamentally about "the truth" vs "the performance".

For me, the most important similarity between Gojo and Sukuna is the gap between who people believe they are vs who they actually are. I think Sukuna is the most misunderstood character in JJK, even more than Gojo — which is saying something considering I think Gojo is incredibly misunderstood!

They're both performers. They play the role required of them, both by the narrative and the people around them. Sukuna is a human who played the role of a curse so well that people forgot he was human at all. The really important thing is that I think he forgot, too (this doesn't apply to Gojo).

Through this lens, the body is merely a costume for Sukuna to help him play his part, and this applies to others' bodies too. I don't think it would have made a difference if Megumi were a girl; the Heian sorcerers never showed any qualms about occupying bodies different to those they were born in.

I do think there's even more depth to Sukuna in relation to gender in canon though. I'm only paraphrasing (in a very brief and heavy-handed way) what others have said much more thoughtfully and beautifully before me, but Sukuna is "woman coded" (good faith please!) in ways that largely go over people's heads, especially in English speaking fandom. It isn't as simple as the fact that he canonically wears women's kimono to accommodate his arms either!

For detailed posts on this topic with extensive research and references, please read Historical Heian vs JJK's Heian by @/thepersonperson and The Details You Missed & The Context Behind Yorozu's Marriage Proposal to Sukuna by @/tangsakura

When Yorozu challenges him (proposes), she evokes Heian era courting rituals, taking on the role of the man. Sukuna not only allows this, but he takes it seriously. He even remembers Yorozu's words when it's Gojo's turn to challenge him (propose).

Ultimately, both Yorozu and Gojo fail to win him over (kill him), but there's a specific way Yorozu offends him that feels really important to understanding Sukuna's character to me. Part of the reason he rejects her proposal (kills her) is because of the poor quality of her poetry, a measure by which women judged potential suitors in the Heian era. If the poem fails to meet certain criteria, the marriage is off!

Look how horrified Sukuna is! Language matters to this man! In fact, there's some amazing analysis out there covering the secret romance in Sukuna's antiquated language, unnoticed by the modern sorcerers. See the difference between "Show me, Fushiguro Megumi!" and "Enchant me, Fushiguro Megumi!":

They sound the same in Japanese, but only the written kanji reveals the truth in what he's saying! So often with Sukuna, what could be interpreted as praise is received as an insult in modern Japanese, though it's unclear whether he's aware of this. Regardless, it's a really specific way Sukuna is misunderstood, and non-Japanese readers have another layer of misinterpretation to work through!

Take the "Enchant me!" example alone. By the time it's translated into English, we're already multiple steps removed from the truest version of the character. Megumi hears "Show me!" (because you can't hear kanji. This is the most wonderful thing about Japanese to me) so that's how it's translated.

Now, extrapolate that example across the entire manga. All the double meanings that create this fundamental gap in understanding. Sukuna cannot connect to the people around him. He's completely out of place, but the sad thing is, even in the Heian era, he's always been out of place. He's a curse.

Thus, I see Sukuna as a character who has been whittled into shape through hardship. What began as self-protection in a cruel age became the only way he knew how to exist, such that he cannot let down his mask. He cannot "come out". We never see the "true" Sukuna until the very end of Jujutsu Kaisen.

As for how I translate this across to Sukuna in Over the Threshold? Well, homophobia in the Japanese music industry plays a huge role in the story. Satoru and Suguru cannot "come out" without consequences. For Sukuna, some twenty years older than them, there was even less acceptance.

I would say I have two main motivations for writing fanfiction: developing my understanding of the source material and challenging myself as a writer in one way or another. No powers AUs cover both in a really unique way. Often, it begins with a challenge at a craft level, e.g. the opportunity to try using a narrative structure that lends itself to a specific setting. However, the question that inevitably follows is: "how could I make that work for these specific characters?"

I think there are lots of different ways to write "good" fanfiction. Only the author can say whether they've achieved their goals with a particular story, but for me personally, the best fanfiction is in dialogue with the source material. For obvious reasons, that's easier to achieve with canonverse fanfiction, but when I remove the characters from their original universe, I have to work a bit harder at it. How much harder depends on the no powers AU in question!

In the past, I have definitely written "bad" fanfiction by those specific standards, even if it isn't "bad" fanfiction at all by a different set of a criteria! These days, I'm pickier about the ideas I choose to pursue, and that's because I've developed a better understanding of what I find rewarding to write and a better understanding of the source material. The two things definitely go hand in hand, so since I mentioned the snowboarding AU earlier, I'll talk about it a little here to illustrate that.

This AU started with a romcom I published in February 2025. I'd never written one before so I gave it a try (challenge!) and quickly decided I'll probably never write one again lmao. It's a reader favourite, but for me as the writer, it lacked the stakes I apparently need to stay engaged. Still, it is a pretty good example of a no powers AU that's in dialogue with the source material, even if it's on the lower end of the scale.

Simply put, it follows adrenaline junkie Gojo as he seeks solo thrills after becoming profoundly bored on a skiing holiday with friends who neither want nor are able to keep up with him. Basically, the story hinges on the reveal that he's the reigning world champion in halfpipe snowboarding, which was actually my first idea for the fic. I watched a video of Hirano Ayumu talking about his Olympic gold run where he pulled off a never been done triple cork in terrible conditions. He said, "To stay at the top, you have to accept loneliness". Naturally, I was instantly sold on the idea of Gojo Satoru the freestyle snowboarder!

Fast forward to January this year when Ayumu "broke his entire body" a month before qualifying for the Olympics and still set out to defend his gold. I'm suddenly hooked on halfpipe snowboarding like never before, I'm incredibly invested in an aging Scotty James' quest for the only medal he's never won, and I realise I've given myself the convenient opportunity to write an action sequel to the romcom which will parallel my favourite arc in the manga (Gojo vs Sukuna) while digging into everything about this character that compels me most.

While writing this fic, I did a whole lot of research about athlete psychology, and accidentally learned a whole lot about the winner's mentality that Gojo instils in Megumi in the process. I've basically come to believe that the athlete state of mind and the strongest sorcerer state of mind are one and the same, especially when it comes to extreme sports. Rather than explaining it, I'm going to share a passage which, I think, illustrates the exact appeal of writing a no powers AU for a character like Gojo, if you can find the right angle for approach:

Perhaps more than a test of skill on a board, riding the halfpipe is a test of the ability to thrive in chaos — to brush off the unpredictable, to meet the unknown head-on without fear or hesitation. It’s a test of self-belief, most of all. Dropping into the pipe, state of mind is everything, which is why some people wear lucky underpants or recite prayers at the top of the course. As for Satoru, he believes in preflight checks rather than preflight rituals. To engage in superstitious practices is to suggest that winning or losing is outside his locus of control. Satoru doesn’t give any importance to things outside his locus of control, so as he bends down to clip in for the biggest ride of his life, he isn’t wearing lucky underpants. Instead, he checks his bindings once, twice, three times before he hops out onto the groomed snow at the front of the start house. [...] Taking up his starting position on the entry ramp, he digs his heel edge into the snow as he waits for the go ahead. He adjusts his neck gaiter. He adjusts his gloves. He plots his route down the pipe, visualising the future version of himself who’s lacing the most insane run of his life. He smiles at his win. And then Satoru returns to the moment. His moment. He stares down the Olympic rings, and the Olympic rings stare back at him. Eyes on the prize. Eyes on me, he commands, one finger pointed at the camera. This is his moment.

To me, that's just "Nah, I'd win" in a few more words lmao.

Admittedly, it's not very ship focused, simply because of the solo nature of the sport. I think that's more reflective of my personal preferences as a writer, though. I set out to send people's heart rates through the roof with a really high stakes action scene, and that's what I did. Although I did explore Gojo's relationship with Sukuna a little, perhaps someone else would focus more on the interpersonal rivalry between them, e.g. scenes set in the Olympic Village.

(Fun fact: the athletes got through their free condoms at a record rate at this year's Winter Olympics. They used 10,000 condoms [around 3.5 per athlete] in the three days immediately before Valentine's Day.)

I probably will return to this universe in the future, because I think I can eke more out of the parallels with JJK. For example, the inevitable "changing of the guard" that happens in a high risk Olympic level sport like freestyle snowboarding is something that translates really nicely. In other words, I want to write Satoru coaching Megumi, hehe.

How far can you remove a character from the source material while keeping their ~essence~ intact?

To summarise, putting myself in a position where I can answer this question by pointing to my fic and saying, "Pretty damn far!" just feels really fucking good lmao. For me, there's nothing more satisfying than writing "good" fanfiction by my own standards, but especially when I've executed it with a no powers AU.

Firstly, this song is simply eccentric. That's the only word for its sound. I'm never comfortable identifying modes in pop songs with any real confidence, because they tend to flirt with them rather than commit to them, but this shifts between scales noticeably enough for me to say that it's definitely modal, at least in the verse.

Modes have traditionally been described by the "character" or "mood" they impart. Dorian mode (which is what the verse of Froot is written in, G specifically) can't quite be characterised as happy or sad. It's a minor mode, owing to its minor third, and this is a sound that a Western ear usually associates with melancholy.

However, the major sixth further up the scale lends it a brightness which counteracts that somewhat. Thus, Dorian mode is considered melancholy yet hopeful, a bittersweet scale suited for jazz and blues. Sound familiar, OTT readers?

‘Were you sad when you wrote Blue Spring, Suguru?’ ‘Why? Does it feel sad to you?’ Satoru deliberated over it for a long while. ‘Not sad exactly,’ was the noncommittal answer he eventually gave. ‘Bittersweet, I suppose?’ He tucked Suguru’s palm against his cheek, eyes wandering across the room as he weighed his words. ‘Maybe nostalgic. Or wistful. A lot of words that aren't quite sad.’

Blue was a thousand different things to Suguru, including a lot of words that weren’t quite sad. Bittersweet, nostalgic, wistful.

A familiar tinkle of piano keys sounded through the bar, cycling through three chords coloured by added sevenths and suspended notes — a jazz progression with a melancholic feel that was quintessentially Japanese.

Over the Threshold agenda aside, this sums up the music I tend to associate with Suguru. It doesn't quite capture one mood.

In the case of Froot, the song is upbeat, there's this swelling energy to it, but also a thread of dread running through the song. There's joy but also sadness. There's something a little unnerving about it, but also a delicacy to it. It's both hopeful and hopeless.

There are very tangible human instruments among the arrangement (a gutter filthy bassline opens the song, even. Dolce, anyone?) but also a synthetic sparkle. The vocals are playful, they hop and skip between registers, between voices almost. They concern themselves more with personality and style than with technique. It's all giving Getō Suguru declaring war. Nonsense!

Now, what about the lyrics? What about the damn lyrics?!

I've seen seasons come and go From winter sun to summer snow

The sun setting on December 24 as snow starts to fall on summer (夏), growing cold in an alleyway. Yeah, okay.

It's summer time and I hang on the vine They're gonna make me into sweet red wine Hanging around like a fruit on a tree Waiting to be picked, come on, cut me free

This entire interlude has such sinister undertones to it. It speaks of consumption and exploitation and objectification, befitting of both Suguru in canon and in the music industry setting of Over the Threshold (which we're not done exploring yet... Shhh!).

Suguru was "picked" by Kenjaku, but ultimately, Yūta cut him free.

Living la dolce vita Life couldn't get much sweeter Don't you give me a reason That it's not the right season Babe, I love you a lot I'll give you all I've got Yeah, you know that it's true I've been saving all my summers for you I've been saving all my summers for you

Sweet Sugar in Over the Threshold, waiting and waiting and waiting, smiling, hiding, pretending all the while.

Also, 夏 meaning summer when Suguru was born on the day of a festival which typically marks the arrival of spring, yet actually falls on the last day of winter. For Suguru, it's never the right season.

Baby, I am plump and ripe I'm pinker than shepherd's delight Sweet like honeysuckle late at night

This verse (and the song in general) speaks of a woman at the prime of her life, at her ripest. Age has importance in the music industry, but almost exclusively for women. To me, this song speaks both of empowerment and fear of the fate that befalls a woman who spends too long on the vine, especially if she's an artist in the commercial music industry.

In canon, Suguru dies on the cusp of the summer of his life, marking him a member of the famous 27 Club, a group of (mostly) musicians who died at the age of 27, arguably before they had the opportunity to reach their full potential.

Cancel me if you like, but I do associate notions of femininity and fertility with Suguru and his technique in canon. I don't think it's a reach at all and I don't think it needs to come with any nefarious implications either. Get outta here with your gender essentialism! Therefore, this idea of Suguru being plucked from the vine both too early and at the exact right time for Kenjaku to exploit his body is delicious, especially in light of the next half of the verse:

Leave it too long, I'll go rot Like an apple you forgot Birds and worms will come for me The cycle of life is complete

Because Suguru isn't allowed to rot, but his body is used to further the cycle of curses after death. He's frozen in time, held in stasis in the season of his life that he died in.

I'm your carnal flower, I'm your bloody rose Pick my petals off and make my heart explode I'm your deadly nightshade, I'm your cherry tree You're my one true love, I'm your destiny

I don't need to say anything. Bleeding camellias, an application of Limitless technique to the heart, twin deaths on December 24. Suguru, who was Satoru's one and only complex, and his sweetest downfall. Also, Summer's Last Cherry.

Come on, fill your cup up Looking for some good luck Good luck to you Autumn, I'll be gone Birds will sing their mourning song

Kenjaku hit the jackpot with the fruit machine that was Getō Suguru, an inventory of curses, opportunities spilling out of him.

The pre-chorus also speaks of the experience of making it in the music industry. This is an industry where "right place, right time" takes precedence above everything else for musical artists trying their luck. The reason bad deals are rife in this industry is because artists snatch at any opportunity to get a foot in the door. The first bad deal they're offered is likely the only deal they'll ever be offered.

The lyrics frame the music industry as the one who will get lucky by juicing the singer, urging labels to pick her before it's too late. Like I said at the top of the post, there's a feeling of empowerment to it, but also a sick sort of self-sacrificial sentiment. A willingness to exploit oneself because it seems like the only route to success. Oh, the themes.

Oh, my body is ready Yeah, it's ready Oh, my branches are heavy Yeah, they're heavy

Again, we can read this in two lights. There's a sexuality to the first reading, an invitation, a suggestion of fertility and ripeness. However, the second reading has a weariness to it, a feeling of being weighed down. "My body is ready", but for what?

While I'm not a member of the "Getō Suguru set out on a deliberate suicide mission on December 24" club, I certainly think he had lost his way. Though I believe he set out with the intention of succeeding, I certainly think he was ready to die if it came to it. And I certainly think he wasn't wholly convinced by his own principles anymore. Also:

Truly, Satoru was a star. [...] And he’d chosen Suguru. He kept choosing Suguru. The gravity of it was startling. It weighed on him. It exhausted him. He thought he’d given up resisting the pull that the singer exerted on him. Thought he’d made a home in Satoru’s inescapable orbit. Thought he’d resigned himself to being swallowed up by his beautiful explosion, too. Music was still his dream; it didn’t matter that Satoru was the one living it. Not when Suguru had already passed the event horizon. When he’d already given so much. When he was already half devoured. It was enough to help Satoru shine. It was enough to be a part of him. It was enough.

Suguru is a star and a sweet fruit. He's being swallowed. He's being devoured. Those themes of consumption are really hitting hard.

Anyway, AO3 user greaterglow and your love for Getō "Summer" Suguru, you will always be famous. For more of Glo's greatest hits featuring seasonal SatoSugu themes, see February, Race You to the Bottom, erase me, and literally anything else I've written probably.