#gkp

Since u said plz.

I had to sleep off the second hand embarrassment from last night before I could collect me thots.

First off, Tess:

Is she capable of keeping her white tops clean while eating?

Every time I wear white, something drops on it.

EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME.

Maybe that’s just me.

But now I know what their Zoom call was about.

They coordinated outfits.

How cute.

Scottie: “All of us should wear hoodies.”

Schmo:

He looks like a beefier version of Carlos Blanco.

See Exhibit A:

Tessamolé’s food choice:

Week-old sushi.

Good thing they have 5 shitters.

Why don’t they use an app and have food delivered to their doorstep like the rest of us?

Scottie:

I..........

...........have so many thots that I don’t even know where to begin.

hoodie fashun that all his hockey bros are wearing matching ones of for the team he’s never home to play on

his plowed fields

the fake shock of seeing the one person he’s quarantining with in the middle of nowhere

his obvious inebriated state

his facial hair that fails to rival Schmo’s

has he gained his Quarantine 50 in a week?

the flatbed full of chopped wood to heat his little house on the prairie

how they can’t eat takeout, they have to drink wine and eat the food that magically shows up on their doorstep (so, takeout)

Jaclyn:

She just a wine glass, I guess?

U know he asked her 75 times to sit next to him and hold his hand while he tried to not be so jealous of “Morgan and Tessa” and their “pizza party” in a mansion on the coast whilst he lives in his farmers field chair bcz his house is still not done? so he drank a bottle of wine while waiting for the sun to start setting then cracked another to use on camera.

Scakie’s food choice:

Isn’t that everybody’s rn?

Certainly is mine.

But at least pick a bottle of local Ontario wine and give a shout out to them?!

Or a general “we support local Ontario vineyards” but since he’s not local anymore, he would have fumbled a few names of closed restaurants or breweries again, giving me more second hand embarrassment.

Great Kitchen Party Trips 2020