#girldead

people like us have always existed, for as long as there has been gender, there have been people who don't fit well, who exist in 'unacceptable' ways, who feel like you do. we have been here for as long as gender has been (which isn't the same thing as forever), and we will exist for as long as gender exists (and that won't been forever either)

gender is violent and i feel sick thinking about it

There isn’t a version of my body or language I’d be happy in genderwise

i don't talk about girldead much anymore but that phrase and the stuff i said about it still ring super true

if i wanted to i could go deep into the rabbit hole of extremely specific gender identities to parse every aspect of my fucked up dysphoric monstrosity of a body but man ive got enough issues. i already did that to myself when i was 15. i should just accept nothing will ever feel right and i will never fit my body and there will never be the perfect word to explain that disconnect