I've been looking at Caleb and Gideon's relationship more for Chapter 2 of Copper Canyons, and I'm so intrigued by them. My personal obsession over Gideon is not because I think he has the potential to become a great man or some kind of superhuman being like Caleb, I think he's incredibly average. Maybe that sounds like an insult but I think it's a great quality to have in contrast to someone like Caleb.
The fact they coexisted for so long is almost bewildering:
I never thought the three of us would split up. Looking back now, the fact that he walked this far with us is the real surprise.
In Crease, Gideon reflects on his (and the DAA group by extension) relationship to Caleb. He spoke at length with Caleb about their future, their likely success in becoming flight instructors at the DAA and how their days may look like still being a tight-knit group. Obviously, that didn't happen.
After saying goodbye to that girl, he and Caleb fell into an unspoken silence while sitting on the Coelum Express back to Skyhaven. It's as if their previous friendliness and laughter in front of her had been an act of reassurance. Caleb still looked the same, yet he somehow felt like a stranger to Gideon.
I think this passage here explains everything about their relationship. It's almost as if their entire coexistence was solely hinged on the idea that Caleb could live a normal life. We know that the possibility of that is next to nothing and when Caleb officially returns from his year long absence being essentially tortured in a lab again and becoming Colonel of the fleet, he comes to accept that normalcy was never something he could achieve.
There is no reason to stay connected with people, to pretend to see the value in friendships, or to maintain the persona of the "golden boy". These originally helped Caleb seize the ability to be normal, to protect his family but now, as the Colonel, he has garnered far more power than he could as a top student of the DAA. He knows far more than he did before, he is fighting things that are far more dangerous than the decay of his family's image or their financial ruin.
Yet, despite his coldness to Gideon behind closed doors, he still acts like he cares in front of his sister. It's "reassurance" according to Gideon's personal interpretation. But reassurance for who? For MC? Replaying Painful Signal, it seems MC cares a great deal for Caleb and his death. Having grieved him, she understands the perspective of those at the DAA who continue to grieve for him. It's important to her that they carry out the natural proceedings of grief, meanwhile Caleb requests his locker be cleared out as to not upset anyone.
It is maybe because of the way MC wishes to protect the rituals of mourning that Caleb believes she has a great care for people—not just him. I wonder then, if he is so amiable with Gideon to seem "human"? He has, at this point, lost his agency and humanity and to pretend that his connections to humanity (Gideon) have never been cut gives him a power that only ever belonged to the him of the past: to be perceived as "normal".
That if he was like Gideon, someone who was never fated to be anything, he could choose to be everything in service to his sister. Caleb loves mentioning fate and his distaste for it. He wishes to change it, maybe even destroy it. Gideon is what Caleb could be if he just wasn't Caleb.
They used to joke about the future. And they imagined that if they both ended up as instructors at the Deepspace Aviation Administration, heading toward the same destination, they'd compete to see whose students could fly better and faster.
Caleb is to MC what Gideon is to Caleb. Something of the past, the hope of a future that has been completely destroyed.
Yeah, I've made peace with it.
Gideon says this to Patrick after finding out Caleb is, in fact, still alive. "...peace with it", he says like he has accepted Caleb's death despite just discovering he is not. The future with the Caleb he knew has died. Now, Caleb is truly alone. Unable to rely on the help of Gideon or his friends, his old life has completely dissolved and they have made their peace and moved on in their own way.
Caleb wishes to erase his existence from their lives as to not hinder them, what he fails to realize is they continue to visit his grave and keep his belongings in his locker because this is all they have of him. This is how they remember he is dead. It does not stop them from moving on, it is the reason why they can.
There are two lives: one Caleb occupies, and one where he does not. His absence gave way to a new life, and Gideon intends to live in that one.
We see Gideon again in Indulgent Scheme. He has to move his camera away from Caleb when Patrick calls and MC is visibly uncomfortable realizing his old life is creeping in. These worlds, these lives, are not meant to merge. Caleb knows that, it's why he was so adamant about disappearing. He knows that returning to his sister's life is incredibly risky, but he gives in after she sought him out.
Why then does Gideon invite Caleb and MC to gatherings? Why is he the exception to everybody else? How does Gideon feel about Caleb? Does he treat his old college friend as some kind of moving corpse?
Gideon refers to Caleb as a ghost the first time he sees him again in Painful Signal. I wonder how bizarre it feels to accept your friend has officially passed and has become something unrecognizable, and yet, continue to extend your hand out to them.
They pass each other and go their separate ways.
What do they mean to each other? Gideon, a tool to Caleb to seem human to his sister. Caleb, a ripple of the past that Gideon can't seem to fully get rid of. There's something profoundly romantic about it; their inability to shake off each other's presence, to still want each other while knowing their incredible distance.
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Chapter 1 of my Western AU!
Gideon x reader┃Caleb x reader┃Caleb x Gideon x reader
CW: pseudo-incest, sibling incest, explicit sexual content (more tags on AO3)
Word count - 18.4k
Your brother leaves you behind to become a cowboy, and as Gideon tries to piece you back together, you decide to go out into the great desert to hunt down the man who betrayed you. But first, you must remain in college with Gideon to prepare for the wild to come.
For @chocoramii!! Happy birthday :)
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Your brother, bless his heart, left you to become a cowboy. Now, you're a good woman and you don't exactly know what being a cowboy truly entails, but neither does your brother. You both live a decent life, raised in church together, orphans from a house fire. You asked your brother once what exactly had happened to cause the fire, but all he had for an answer was a shaken look and lips that could not bring themselves to move. You decided then to never ask him of anything that he may not want to tell, this unfortunately meant you had no idea he would run off to become a rootin'-tootin' cowboy. A life of crime! Oh, and what would Mother say?
"That boy was always troubled," she said as she shook her head.
You follow in her steed and shake your head in the same ashamed manner. Lifting the cup of hot bitter coffee to your mouth, wincing a bit since it was from a freshly brewed pot. The grains scratch your tongue as you force yourself to swallow. "Yes, I believe so." You downplay your own disappointment and pretend to agree. The two of you had been admitted to a nice school, Mother agreed to pay for a room that you would both share, and he had thrown it all away. He had forced you to study for years for this chance, locked himself shut in the closet to read by candlelight memorizing the shape of machines.
I want to be an inventor. He made you aware of his dream. One night you find him, your arms spread wide pushing the wooden closet doors open after borrowing some garden shears to cut the chains he tied onto the handles.
You imprison yourself for such a simple dream? And you knew instantly by the twitch of his right eye and deepening frown, you had said the wrong thing.
You would apologize if it were not for the fact you were right, as you always are. Yet, crude sister you are, for not believing in your brother's dreams. It's not that you doubt him, no, quite the opposite. Rather, you are the spoiled one, simply wanting time with him all for yourself. You wanted to pester him in the dim light and ask him questions until you found one he could not answer—non-personal questions. For when it came to matters of the soul and the geometry of his heart, he always made himself obscure. A maze to journey through and you, as the little sister, are thoroughly impatient. Fire in your bosom, burning with this heat to run.
But you are a woman before you are a sister, not to him, but to the world. So, you won't run wild—not like him. You follow in the footsteps of Mother, playing the perfect widow, dabbing your eyes with a handkerchief as she is. Pretending you couldn't fathom why one would run away from a perfectly set life. Discovery is a matter for men unlike your brother who is sensitive and kind; he who would dab your eyes, just like you're doing now, and harness this melodic voice that'd move you to stay still and silent.
No need to cry, I'm here, I'm here. Like a mother caressing her child, loving words stitched together, naturally coming to her in motherhood. How funny it is that this mother you imagine is, in fact, your dear brother who had just abandoned you! Wicked bastard! These tears are not false, but they are not somber things, they are filled with a palpable rage. You too wanted to run, but instead of inviting you with him, he had went off on his own. Stolen white stallion, "Lookfar!" they called out for the horse. Alas, he was gone with your brother who showed no signs of flying off on his own until now. Always, he and you—attached at the hip—your voices intertwined and there was never a time where your laughter would not follow his.
Gideon x reader
CW: contains slight sexual content, alcohol consumption, fluff
Word count - 6.4k
Gideon invites you to his farewell party shortly after telling you he's transferring to aviation school. You're absolutely miserable about it.
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Half his face is fogged, running hot despite the cold of winter. "So, you're coming right?" His eyes flutter about like he's nervous what your answer will be. What an incredibly funny man he is. He does this often, reaching out to you in this desperate but fearful manner. Will she reject me? His expression seems to be caught in purgatory, wondering about you.
Shouldn't you leave this part of yourself for the girl you like? You wonder. Imagining him floundering with another girl makes you sick, you pray for whoever he'll end up with. He'll be waiting at the front for his wife-to-be and all she can see is his face flushed red, attempting to display his friendly affections to some other woman. You should answer him soon, he looks like he's drowning while upright on land. "I guess," you say with no real commitment because he will hear your confirmation and forget about you. What everyone fears is rejection, but that's it. The love they want are from a select few. So, you can say I guess because it means he will leave you alone as long as you don't push him away.
"Amazing," he sighs, relieved. "I even brought your favorite board game. Maybe I should've mentioned that first. Ticket to Ride, right?" He blabbers on and on as you observe him, feeling the distance between him and you as if it's a real, palpable thing manifesting into the steam that's escaping from his lips.
You want to respond to him with words, but you just nod dumbly as he lists all the things you like.
"I know you don't really drink so there's really no pressure. I have soda and stuff obviously." He waves his hands around summoning this memory of his decked out fridge in some strange, fantastical wizardry. He often lives in his own world, it makes you laugh even now. Gideon lights up at the sound of your crackling joy and speaks with more fervor than before about all the things he has memorized about you, all things he did for you. "It's a simple party," he claims.
"With thirty people," you add on.
"Mm," his voice pitches up, "maybe thirty-two?" He can't look at you in the eyes.
"Oh, I'm sure you can make it thirty-five," you chuckle into your hot coffee.
"What if I lied and it's actually closer to forty?"
"Oh, Gideon," you tut.
He likes it when you say his name, but he would never tell you that. He'd rather coax it out of you, cast you under a spell and whenever you say his name three times he'll appear. In fact, he wouldn't be able to contain his excitement and just show up right in front of you at the first syllable.
"Now, why would you lie to me?" You shove him lightly.
"Because I want you to come."
It's your turn to fumble, mouth opening and closing, meanwhile you force your head down as to not look at him. You fill your mouth up with coffee instead. Black because you didn't have the funds to buy milk and now you can't stand the taste of anything in your crude. "Then has everything been a lie?" you joke.
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It’s spring and unlike the magazines which portray this season filled with cherry blossoms, powdery pink and with a light breeze, the quaint little town I’ve been brought to doesn’t. It’s dull with rustic roofs and gates all over. The trees were still in the process of flowering once more with the buds in sight.
It’s my first day of school. Actual school. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to run along and do something by myself. I’m always burdened with the duty I inherited from my parents that I can’t do anything by myself. But today, I managed to convince Theresa, the driver, to drop me off infront of the gates only and not chaperone me like she usually does. Which is a win in my book! She has a soft spot for me after all.
Tightly, I clutched onto the large file in my hand, with my backpack and uniform worn properly. My weak heart felt like it was ready to burst from the anticipation as I tried to calmly walk towards the main building of the school to find the main office.
It was a single floor so it shouldn’t be that bad.
Surprisingly, it lacked a lot of chatter. Nobody was gossiping loudly while going to school as expected. There was nobody in sight. Perhaps they already were in class?
The girl unsure of where to go, wandered the halls. Some parts of the wooden floor were broken and marked brightly with red tape, and some of the classrooms were wide open, yet when she passed by, they were filled with empty and dusty tables and chairs. This was the case for multiple rooms much to her shock.
Did they lie again? She couldn’t find a trace of someone speaking, not even the sound of pencils, pens, and chalk scratching equations or sentences. Her heart rate rose even more at the situation. They lied. How could they lie again? She could feel her stomach twist at the realisation. They lied. This wasn’t a school. This was a long abandoned school they had bought to transform into a warehouse first. Or maybe it’d become a new clinic while she was forced to recover from her illness this time.
Dejectedly, she went back outside but didn’t see Theresa or a car waiting for her. The whole situation made her uneasy. Was this a lesson? Calm down, calm down, she tried to utter to herself. To ease her poor heart, crouching down to conserve her energy.
In the distance, the feint sound of metal scratching, and screeching lightly entered her ear. Mixed in with laboured breathes and mutters, she got curious before she craned her head and--“W-woah! Don’t get run over!”-- the sudden shift to breaking caused her to clumsily move out of the path just in the nick of time.
Unfortunately, the guy tumbled out of his seat and hissed on the ground before slowly standing back up to his knees.
“Are you alright?” He sheepishly asked her much to her shock.
“I should be asking you that! You fell!”
“Says the one who’s just loitering infront of school before it’s even opened!”
“Doesn’t school start at 6 o’clock?”
“No it doesn’t!”
.
.
.
So apparently I was too early to my first day of school.
