#gianne

May 30, 2016

I've been leading worship for a couple of years now, and a great realization came to me just last night. A realization that split my lids and revealed my inner tissues.

I asked myself, "What if the time comes when you can't sing anymore? The time when you already departed from your youth and your ability to sing high notes was taken away from you? What if the people before you won't choose to worship Jesus? Would you still be praising God the same? Would your passion for Him still be the same?"

I had a hard time answering these questions not because I did not know my answer, but because I was too weak to admit that there had been times I embraced the wrong things. I let myself be founded by wrong motives. Put my faith on something that is not God, when I know in myself that I should only be relying on Him and not on any other things aside from Him. I had idols. Not the ones that we expect to come in the form of stones or some sort of impurities, but the ones that came in the form of my gifts, my emotions. In the form of people. It was unexpected but it was real.

This is what makes good things bad: putting it before God; making it an idol.

It broke me. That for the longest time, I've put these things before God and I haven't admitted it.

I felt guilty and ashamed of myself. But this is not what God wanted me to feel. His words are not meant to shame us but to renew and heal us. His words are not meant to turn our hearts to a stone of guilt, but to turn it to a heart of repentance.

Repent, and trust that God's grace to forgive is enough to cover you. It's time not to repel but to get back on the real right track.