#ghost's library

` ` * Sick, O Sick ─ ⠀ troubled sleeping, ─ ⠀ ⠀ troubled thinking, ─ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀troubled existing. * ` ` ⠀ ⠀──────⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ──────

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>> ADOPTABLE TOS <<

>> GENERAL TOS <<

Troubled mind is a common way

to describe what goes on during the day

I think

I overthink

I forget

I suppress

And it waits for me to erase

all reminders and notes in my head;

only then does it all resurface

and suddenly my mood is bad

suffocating

drowning

in the raging river of past buried

I’d rather break my legs, I’d rather wreck my neck

any pain to disorient, draw away, distract

me from the rotting state of my head

Troubled mind, deeply rooted

it coils

and coils

and coils

and coils

until it

runs out

of room

to grow

it makes my skull wish it could explode

so the thoughts, the pain, the fear spew out

and maybe if my body’s empty

maybe it there’s no fuel to burn

it will stop

no more thoughts

no more troubled mind

no

more

nightmares

“As if you even slept… What’s bothering you this time?”

I let out a small laugh. “Nothing, Percy. I was just thinking about… Well, old things.”

“Let me guess. Hm. You don’t seem bummed or bothered that much… Academy? Your attempts in befriending me?” The faint light from the string lights, combined with the luminescence of his left eye, pale skin and forever-deep circles under his eyes made him appear almost ghostly. Hauntingly beautiful…

“I recall it worked.” I smiled when he moved his left hand to rest on my cheek. The ring on his middle finger kissing my skin with a gently cold spot. This might be a result of deep-ridden insomnia within the both of us, but I still hold our night conversations close to my heart. Everything that surrounds us is asleep then, always so unaware of us. Only the moon and stars to watch over us, and they are the ultimate keepers of secrets.

little buildings where I love to lose myself

town skeleton with an empty rib cage

shifting my place with corpses

unrestrained by empty words

drifting along the pitch black void

sliding through glass planes

how long until I see an end

a rift and unlabeled graves

do I have to dig my way through the roots?

We stayed in bed for around half an hour; just lying there, Percy in and out of sleep for much of the time. I still found it difficult to close my eyes. They kept drifting back to him; I noticed, I’m sure he knows, new lines...

for a better place, a brighter place

want of spending my time listening

to things I care about

need of spending my time reading

things I care about

hoping to love learning again

if only it could be things that interest me

at least a little bit of things I care about