#ghost writes

The sun shines through the blinds with more intensity then either you or your partner are ready for. You let out a small groan, one hand moving up to cover your eyes and the other moving over to pat around the nightstand for your phone. It takes a couple tries, but eventually you find it with your eyes still squeezed shut. Your hand awkwardly picks it up, bringing it closer to your face. It's a little difficult to move from this position, with your partner Colt laying all of his weight on you. Not that you mind usually, he's like you're very own weighted blanket. And laying on your means that he doesn't sleep on his back.

The time on your phone reads six thirty in the morning, way before your alarm is set to go off at eight. You think about laying back down and getting that extra hour or so of sleep, but mere moments after you put your phone down a strange wave of pain courses through your body. It's not from the heavy weight on your chest, although that's not really helping- as much as you love having that weight on you. Small sparks of pain stab at you from seemingly nowhere. You feel it in your legs, in your back, in your stomach. A pain that makes you realize that this is going to be a long day.

The feeling isn't welcome, but you know it all too well. Sometimes the universe likes to play it's little tricks on you, and you get a pain flare up without even doing anything more than breathing. At least it wasn't the reason you woke up this time.

You try to ground yourself and focus on the man on top of you, instead of the pain coursing through your skin. With your eyes still shut, you move a hand down to mess with his hair. It's a sensation that calms the both of you, it's your favorite trick to pull out when he can't sleep. You enjoy the reaction he gives, as well as the actual feeling of playing with his hair.

As your hand cards through his dirty blonde strands, you can almost feel him rumbling out sounds of contentment. You once joked and said that he purred like a cat, you still remember how red his face got at that comment.

Much to your disappointment, even this action wasn't distracting you from the pain. And having his weight on your stomach was truly making it worse. The pain in your stomach spreading to your lower back, a feeling that was beginning to make you nauseous. You didn't want to wake him, it was too early for either of you to be awake. But if you stayed like this any longer, you may not be able to move the rest of the day.

Removing the hand in his hair, and bringing your other over to his shoulder, you attempt to very carefully push him off of you. You know that you need to move and get to the bathroom before you get sick- or at the very least get the weight off your stomach. However, Colt is so incredibly stubborn. Especially first thing in the morning. He could be fast asleep and still reach out and pull you into a closer hug. Colt Seavers does not mess around when it comes to cuddling. Which is a fact that you normally find very charming, but not right now.

He lets out a small grumble as you attempt to move him, his subconscious fighting against you and snuggling even closer. You're only a little bit annoyed by his stubbornness, because of how much pain you're in. But you also know that if he were even half awake at the moment, he'd happily move off of you and get you whatever you needed to be more comfortable.

"Colt-" you say weakly, giving his shoulder one last shove. The shove readjusts him slightly, his sleeping form seemingly to finally get the hit to re-position itself. The arm that was resting over your torso, now curled between your bodies. It's not perfect, but it's less weight. It gives you enough space to wiggle out from under him.

Once you've successfully moved away from him enough to sit up, you place an arm behind you to help push yourself up. Even just sitting up makes your head spin. You end up sitting there, with your legs dangling off the side of the bed for a few extra moments with your eyes closed as your brain tries to keep up with your movements.

You open your eyes carefully, blinking a few times allowing the room to come into focus. With the weight gone from your torso, and the slight change in position, the pain has shifted slightly. Most of it's in your back and in your temples, giving you a massive headache. Still, you brace yourself using the night stand and stand slowly from the bed.

Each step you take towards the bathroom is slow and calculated, focusing only on putting one foot in front of the other and leaning on whatever wall or piece of furniture is closest for support.

You know that this feeling will pass, it always does, but you can't help but bitch and complain to yourself the entire journey to the en-suite bathroom.

Thankfully you didn't actually throw up this time, as much as it felt like you were going to. Instead you sat on the cold tile of the bathroom floor, contemplating your next move. After about twenty minutes of just sitting there, you decide that going back to bed was useless given the time and getting some food in your system might help the over all weakness in your body.

When you return back to the bedroom, you see Colt laying on his back. At the sound of the bathroom door closing, you watch as he props himself up slightly with one arm, the other hand rubbing at his eyes to wake them up.

"You awake over there?" You tease, most of your weight leaning on the dresser next to you.

"I-" He lets out a yawn before opening his eyes fully to look at you. A please smile rests on his face the moment his eyes focus on you. "I think so.. What time is it?"

"Almost seven I think."

He lets out a groan and unceremoniously flops back on the bed, arms sprawling out on their side of his body. You notice how he winces the moment his back hits the mattress again, but you don't comment on it. From your position you can see that his eyes are closed again, with his nose slightly scrunched up as he lets out a few deep breaths.

"I know it's a bit early but do you want some coffee?" You offer, knowing that there is a good chance neither of you are going back to sleep any time soon. He raises one arm slightly to give you a thumbs up, before letting it fall over his own stomach. You can't help but smile at the small action, knowing full well that you've picked up on his thumbs up habit.

Carefully you make your way out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen. The pain in your back dulling the more you move. Sometimes your body just needs an extra hour or so to get with the program. You grab his favorite mug from the cupboard and place it under the coffee maker. He had been gifted one of those fancy ones during a set Christmas party a few years back, you were both still figuring out how to use it properly. You knew the function for the basic brew, and that was about it- at least without pulling out the instruction booklet it came with.

As you waiting for his coffee, you grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Resting the cool beverage on your forehead first and then your stomach. It was an odd habit that you had picked up a very long time ago. Whenever you had a bad pain spike like this the skin around your stomach always felt like it was on fire, so you started placing ice packs or cold drinks over it to cool you off- and releasing some of the pain in the process. After holding it over your stomach for a few moments, you decided to actually take a drink of the water.

The machine next to let out a melodic ding once Colts coffee had finished pouring. You picked up the mug with both hands, one inserted into the handle and the other holding the bottom for balance. You move through your own pain as you focus on getting the coffee back to Colt, careful to not spill a single drop.

You find Colt sitting up right in bed, he's leaning forward with his head in his hands. His leg is bouncing ever so slightly, like he's thinking about something. Your feet are quiet as you pad over to him, deciding to sit next to him. His leg stops bouncing as he feels the mattress dip next to him. He doesn't move to look at you, but he knows that you're there.

"Coffee?" You offer the mug to him. You watch as one of his hands, the one farthest from you, leaves his face and crosses over his body to grab the mug from you. Your fingers brushing over each other briefly.

"Thanks darlin…" His voice is low and groggy, clearly still filled with sleep. You lean your head on his shoulder as he takes a sip of the hot drink. He still hasn't looked at you, using his free hand to shield his face from you. You know he's doing it on purpose, and you know why. As you lean on his shoulder, you contemplate if its worth bringing it up. He'd never argue with you, but calling him out before his brain is even working might make it worse. You want him to know that you're there for him, you always are- and also to remind him that you're not an idiot. You know when he's hurting, just like he knows when you are.

"Did you sleep okay? Sorry if I woke you up too early." You decide on asking a generic question, and apologizing for waking him up. Knowing full well that if you hadn't had a pain spike this morning, you'd both still be asleep by now.

He finally sits up a little, removing his hand from the spot on his face. You can feel him rest his head on top of yours, as he brings his now free hand to find yours. You reach out and interlace your fingers, giving his hand a small squeeze. "Don't apologize, getting up early just means I get to spend more time with you!"

You can hear his voice warming up the more he speaks, forcing his normal upbeat personality out as much as he can under the tired fog in his brain and the pain in his back that he's trying his best to ignore. Still, you can't help but smile at the comment. You know that he means it, he loves spending every moment he can with you- you just wish it was said under better circumstances.

"I'm gonna make some breakfast, want anything?"

Colt shakes his head slightly before turning to placing a small kiss to the top of your head. "No thanks, I'll meet you in the kitchen in a bit to grab something"

Giving his hand another squeeze, you stand from the bed and make your way back to the kitchen. You know that he needs a few extra moments to get his own body moving, depending on how today goes you both might need a very hot shower together.

—

In the bedroom, Colt takes another sip of his coffee- barely choking down the liquid. The bitterness of the coffee is only making his own nausea worse, but he didn't want you to suspect anything. Not like you haven't already done so, but him turning down coffee first thing in the morning would be a massive red flag. He puts the mug on his night stand, ready to ignore it completely.

His body returns to the position you found him in. Leaning forward with his head in his hands, leg bouncing as he tries to brace himself for standing up. The worst part is that he isn't sure what caused the flare up. Sure sometimes he gets a random wave of pain, but there's normally a cause. Too much exercise, sleeping on his back for too long, certain stunts, even some really shitty chairs- okay maybe it does just happen without cause. Which is even more annoying.

Not to mention that he knows that you're having a bad day already. The only thing that's woken you up before him is when your own pain flares up, especially this early. He's noticed how slow you're moving, how you've always got your hand on something else for support. Him having a bad day might make yours worse, he couldn't do that to you.

Colt takes in a few deep breaths, doing what he can to dull the pain long enough for him to stand. It's been worse, of course it's been better, but he's at least confident enough that he can stand on his own this morning. However he does glance over at the pair of crutches leaning against the wall by his night stand. They're always within arms reach for the mornings that he does need them, as well as the wheelchair that's kept safely in the garage for those very very bad days. It seems the universe is being only slightly mean to you both this morning, allowing him to move without assistance.

Still, moving hurts. Everything hurts. It always starts with the spot on his lower back, the spot that if he were to get hit any harder he could have been paralyzed for life. Once that spot fills with pain, burning his back like he's standing in the summer sun, his old wounds make themselves known. Decade old scars itch, recent bruises ache, bones crackle and click in ways bones are not meant to sound.

Some how through out all of this, he stands up. His balance is slightly off, as he nearly stumbles forward upon his first step. He has to catch himself on the wall next to him as he sucks air in through his teeth.

Colt just stands like that for what feels like hours, planning his next movement. He could either allow his body to fall backward back onto the bed, or he could power through and just hope it goes away.

He of course chooses the second option.

He pushes his body off the wall, forcing his muscles to stretch as he carefully raises his arms above his head. He's still got the stretching routine given to him by his physical therapist memorized, which is partially the point of having a routine like that. He moves his body around, stretching out his back as much as he can without making it worse.

By some miracle, the stretching does its job. The tense muscles around the sore spot on his back easing up with each movement, pain slowly leaving his body. Once he's done the routine at least four times, the pain is almost completely dulled. He knows that he won't be able to move as quickly as usual, mainly out of fear of it flaring up again while at work, but he should be able to go about his day without issue.

After throwing on a random shirt, Colt joins you in the kitchen.

The moment he enters the space, he can see how much you're leaning on the counter in front of you as you wait for the toaster to release your breakfast. His face pulls into a small smile, realizing that he may have been a bit stupid for keeping his pain from you- knowing that you're going through the same thing. And if he starts hiding it, you might start hiding it too- and that idea seems to hurt his heart more than just being honest with you. Which is he working on.

"You too?" He jokes quietly as he makes his way over to you. Allowing his words to alert you of his presence. You only flinch slightly at the sudden voice, turning to look at him with just a hint of a smile. It's forced, your mind isn't at all focused at the moment, but you can't help but feel at ease whenever you see him.

"Just a little dizzy, It'll pass."

Colt places a light hand on the small of your back, trying to suggest for you to lean on him instead. He may not be at 100% stability yet, but he knows that it's a lot more stable than your arms trying to keep you up right when you’re already dizzy.

"What's the plan for the day?" As he speaks, you let him guide your body to be closer to him, leaning most of your weight on his side. You still have a hand on the counter, but you're relying more on Colt to keep you up right.

"Third day of filming, shouldn't be too bad. We're not filming the fight scenes until tomorrow. Today is just the dialog scenes in the lab." Your shoulders rise slightly in a shrug. You know why he's asking the question, it's the same reason you asked how he slept. Thankfully for everyone involved, all you have to do is make sure the actors are in the places at the right time. You just hope that everyone is on top of things today- which is truly asking for a miracle.

"What are the chances the crew shows up on time today?" He asks, well aware of your gripe with the so called professionals you work with. He feels your body laugh against his.

"If they're on time today, I'll buy everyone coffee. Specific orders from a cafe and everything." You joke, rolling your eyes. You've worked with this group long enough that you've learned that 8am actually means 9am. Some of them are your friends, which is how you got the job- but it truly pains you that none of them know the meaning of the phrase 'on time'. "What about you?"

You throw the question back at him. Part of you pleading with the universe that it's just more meetings like he's been doing- even doing mock versions for the camera crew to view would be better than him doing stunts in his current state. As much as he tried to hide it, you've picked up on how slow Colt has been moving this morning and how long it took him to meet you in the kitchen. Stunts are the last thing he should be doing today.

But of course life doesn't care if you have pain flare ups first thing in the morning.

"Just a car chase- but I'm not crashing anything this time. Just some basic driving." He explains, his arm wrapping around you more.

There's a certain feeling of ever present fear in the back of your mind whenever Colt explains the ins and outs of the stunts he does. It's fascinated to learn about, especially from someone as passionate about stunt work as Colt is. He's even helped you teach your own small crew about how to better do certain stunts. But you've seen his scars, and you've heard the horror stories. You can't help but worry about him.

You know in your heart that he'll be fine. The stunt team he works with takes safety incredibly seriously, even if Colt has to double check the rigging himself on those days where he's over thinking every minor detail. He'll be alright, you know that he will. He'll always come home to you.

But on days like today, where he's barely keeping you both upright and he wouldn't even look at you when you gave him his coffee. You know that he's already in pain, to the point where you almost asked if he needed his mobility aids- unsure if he would ask for them himself.

You can't help but think of the worse case scenario.

Instead of voicing your concerns, you just turn your head to smile at him.

"I'll be fine I swear." The overthinking worry must have still been evident on your face. He leans down slightly to place a kiss on your cheek. "A bad day can't knock me down"

But it can, and it has- you both know that. Still you admire his attempt at easing your worries. With a sigh your attention returns to the toaster in front of you, leaning more into Colt as you wait.

Seconds later the bread appears out of the machine and you continue making your breakfast. Colt gives you one last kiss to the back of your head before making a second cup of coffee, his original and unfinished cup still abandoned in your shared room. He'll clean it up later.

The rest of the morning follows a similar tune, both you and Colt moving slowly around your home and getting ready for the day. Neither of you wanting to be the first to truly mention the elephant in the room. The two of you make idle chatter as you get dressed, and if either of you had to help the other with your clothes- neither mention it. It's all apart of the routine.

The two of you walk to your cars together, he knows that if he leaves now he'll be stupidly early- but he like the domesticity of leaving for work at the same time. He walks you to your car first, even opening the door for you.

"Hey, today's going to go great!" He beams at a smile at you, doing his best to put you into a positive mindset before you leave. You give him a small glare of doubt before breaking into a small laugh.

"It better." You roll your eyes. One of your hands reaches up to pull on the lapel of his jacket, making him lean down enough to meet you half way for a kiss. He smiles into the kiss, pushing forward slightly to kiss you again before you pull away. He can instantly see the worry and concern in your eyes. "Be careful today, okay?"

He leans back slowly, careful to not mess up his back so soon, and gives you a small two fingered salute. "You got it boss, I'm always careful."

You raise your eyebrow at him.

"Okay okay I see your point." His hands go up in defense. "I promise to take it easy today, only if you do the same my dear."

"As easy as I can lovely." You smile at him, a full genuine smile this time. He leans down one last time to kiss your forehead.

"I love you!"

"Love you too big guy, always." The nickname always has him smiling from ear to ear. This morning is no different.

He moves out of the way to allow the door to close. Seconds after he hears you start up the car, you roll the window down. "How about we plan for movie and take out tonight? You can pick the movie if you let me order from that place on 3rd street."

You can almost see his ears perk up at that, "Even…Fast and the Furious?"

You do your best to hide the laugh that escapes your lips, "Yes dear, even Fast and the Furious."

"Sounds like a plan!" His smile is almost as bright as the sun itself. You give a nod of confirmation, and roll the window back up. As you pull out of the drive way you can see Colt giving celebratory fist bumps to the air in your rear-view mirror as he walks to his truck.

It's a rare day that Colt has a day off and his partner doesn't. He spends the day doing idle tasks and cleaning up a bit. Trying to find something to do, something to stop him from sending "I miss you! Hope you're having a good day" text every few hours, and some chores just genuinely need to be done.

When his partner comes home, he's sitting on the couch half watching some random show while going over some stunt notes that Dan wanted him to look over before tomorrow. He hears the door close and the rustling of his partner moving around.

"Colt? I'm home!" They call out.

Colt put the papers down on the seat next to him as he hops off the couch, walking almost a bit to quickly to the front door. The moment his partners sees him, they run up to him- practically jumping into his arms. Their arms slinging around his neck as they pull him in for a kiss. He of course welcomes the kiss, wrapping his arms around their middle to pull them in for a hug. His partner moves to pepper the rest of his face with kisses, he can't help but let out a small laugh.

"Did ya miss me that much?" He says it mainly to tease them, calling attention to the some what abnormal greeting.

"I always miss you." They tell him, planting another kiss on his mouth. "Spent half my day just thinking about coming back home to you."

A blush rises to his cheeks. He's said that to his partner many...many times before, but being on the other side of it is making his head all fuzzy. For once he's speechless, and decides to hide his face in the crook of their neck instead of embarrassing himself more by trying to talk. The action only makes his partner chuckle, as their hold on him tightens.

"You're always on my mind Colt, you do know that right?" He hears them say, the heat in his cheeks growing. "I worry about you being safe at work, if your day is going well, if you had enough to eat, what stupid movie puns you're going to tell me later. You're always there."

You knew that early on into your relationship with him. It's not something he openly admitted right away, but you caught on quick. He'd always stay up watching movies or doing mindless work if you were out late, claiming that he just wanted to make sure you got home safely. Or if you were home, he'd find you at your desk or on the couch. Nose deep in whatever you were busying yourself with that evening. He'd smile at you and ask if you were ready for bed, he wouldn't rush you no matter how tired he was. So if you were to tell him "in a few minutes." He'd sit next to you on the floor, resting his head on your knee. He craved the comfort of being near you, but never wanted to disturb your work- at least not when he was this tired. He'd fall asleep just like that if you took long enough. Once you finish whatever you were working on, papers down, laptop closed, any indication that you're attention is off your work for the night. He'd sit up at the sound of you putting your things away, looking up at you with that goofy smile of his. "All done?" You smile before moving your hand to cover a yawn, "All done, time for bed big guy." Colt would take that as his cue to stand up, raising his arms in one big stretch after sitting on the floor for a bit too long. You didn't mind, you got to admire the way his muscles moved, and of course a peak at his stomach as his shirt rose up. A few moments later, he'd move to scoop you into his arms. Holding your tightly to his chest as he carried you off to the bedroom. Some nights you'd laugh at the sudden motion, and his eagerness to bring you to bed, but you'd still ask to be put down so you could at least change into pajamas and do any other nighttime routine things you had to do. Of course on those nights he'd always oblige, placing you down carefully once inside your bedroom. He'd take a seat on his side of the bed, normally leaning his back against the headrest, watching you move around the room as you got ready for bed. Other nights you only realize how tired you truly were once you're in his arms. His body heat engulfing you all at once like a soft blanket. You feel the weight of your eyelids get heavier as you struggle to stay awake on the short walk between rooms. Your arms loosely flung around his shoulders. He lightly places you on top of the mattress, and always remembers to ask if you need anything before settling in for the night. Once all your needs are met, he brings the comforter up to your chin. The moment that both of you are settled under the covers, you're right back in his arms. There are times where you lay facing him. He loves when you do this, he loves being able to look at you no matter the situation. His kind expression helps to wash away any stress of your day. One of his hands idly messes with your hair, he may not even realize he's doing it, blunt finger nails lightly scratching at your scalp. The other hand is securely in yours, limbs and fingers awkwardly curled between the two of you. The two of you whisper to each other, conversations about things that need to be handled tomorrow, comments that neither of you will remember, stupid jokes that would mean nothing to anyone else.

If you lay down with your back facing him, his chest is right up against you. His arms wrapped around you as one would hold a teddy bear. One of his hands rests on top of yours, the sensation of you finally being in his hold grounding him so he can finally relax enough to sleep. He loves placing kisses along your shoulder, as well as the side of your face and back of your head. Any where he can reach. No matter which way you're facing, you're secure in his arms. In a hushed tone he reminds you how much he loves you, and how much he loves moments like this. It's quiet, the only sound you can hear is the hum of the fan and murmurs of the cars driving by outside. Yet it feels like the only thing in the whole world at the moment, are the two of you in this bed. On the nights where you fall asleep first, he'll force himself to stay up for a few moments longer to get a glimpse at your sleeping face. He feels so lucky when he looks at you like this. You laugh at his stupid jokes, you hype him up when he's overthinking and beating himself up about small things, you're kind, you're everything to him. Some nights he'll lay there and pray that this wasn't some strange dream that he's about to wake up from. Reminding himself that you're real, and you're his. He adores you so much it's nauseating some days. He has so much love in his heart, and it's all for you. If he falls asleep first, it'll start by him asking you how your day was- or just asking you to talk about anything you wanted so he could listen. You know this request means he had a rough day, and you also know that he'll fall asleep halfway through whatever story you chose to tell. But of course, you indulge him anyway. You can feel him snuggle closer with every new sentence. Soon enough you hear a few snores escape from his mouth. You take an extra moment to look over his sleeping face. It's always a rare sight to see his features void of any expression, your eyes tracing the now relaxed muscles. After planting one final light kiss to the top of his nose, you snuggle even closer to get comfortable, before closing your eyes. When you wake in a tangle of limbs, bodies curled almost impossibly close together. His weight his half on you, an arm still securely around your waist. At some point in the night, his head ended up on your chest. Causing you to be forced to lightly poke him so you can get up and ready for the day. He'll groan and mumble out some sounds that you can only assume were meant to be words. "Colt- I gotta get up." You say to him, one of your hands finding his back to tap. If it's a day off for you, and he knows that, he'll pull you even closer. Hiding his face in whatever part of you his closest. Letting out another mumble that you can only guess what along the lines of 'five more minutes'.