nothing. NOTHING. prepares you for neil fucking josten. the monsters take him to columbia bc andrew doesn't trust him and all his secrets and lies. they drug neil against his will to make him talk and his solution is to tip a busboy 100 dollars in cash to knock him out. at this point he's blackout high as all hell and the most he's given away were several creative death threats. he wakes up in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar house and his immediate first response is violence. he throws an alarm clock and an empty water glass at aaron. the second he's presented with the opportunity to escape, he wiggles out the window of a bathroom. "desperation is a valuable lubricant". he calls matt and casually doesn't mention the fact that he's stranded with no way back to palmetto other than walking. instead, he hitchhikes all the way back. he comes up with a list of convincing enough interview questions to pass as a sociology student and hitch a ride with truck drivers. he SUCCESSFULLY does this and spends the entire time asking and answering questions he makes up on the spot and taking notes to make it look legit. he does all of this while hungover. no one knows where he is during this entire trip back. he could have asked to be picked up at literally any moment and matt or wymack would've done it in a heartbeat. he genuinely did not consider this as a viable option. truly the character of all time i love him so much.
