#gettingoveraboy

Going fo a walk in the evening with your headphones on

Walking in the dark with a bottle of cheap wine

How do you even get over someone you didn’t even date?

 This wasn’t supposed to happen.

 I was so cautious but I guess I wasn’t careful enough. Everybody told me he liked me for months. Since March, it’s now almost June. I kept saying I didn’t think he did because well I didn’t. My mom said one of us would catch feelings but I certainly didn’t think it would be me.

 It was supposed to be him liking me not the other way around. We hung out everyday since March and have been texting 24/7 for at least a month and a half.

 I never though both of us would be good together, we were good as friends, best friends.

 Then when he met my friend and got a crush on her I realized I was jealous. That was on Saturday and it’s now Wednesday. It’s only been four days and I already feel like I’m going crazy.

 Everyone says they knew I liked him but I guess it just took me a while to realize I did. I can’t deal with it because I know he doesn’t like me back and I can’t handle these feelings. I won’t tell him I like him and truthfully I wish we get together because I do like him but maybe it’s for the best if my feelings go away.

 Like I said I don’t even know if we would be good together. My heart wants us together but my mind is saying maybe it’s for the best if we don’t.

 Anyways I don’t want to risk telling him I like him and ruining our friendship. I guess I’ll just try and push my feelings away but he’s found his way into my heart and I’m so angry about it.

 I tried so hard to close my heart and make sure I didn’t get hurt. Me liking him definitely just snuck up on me and I caught feelings. Hard.

 This isn’t how it was supposed to be. He was the one who’s supposed to like me and I’m the one who’s not supposed to be able to return the feelings. Not the other way around.

 For now I guess I’ll just deal but honestly I feel like there’s this huge ball of panic in my chest and it won’t go away. It’s just all him in there and it needs to stop because he’s all I can think about and I’d rather not spend my time thinking about a stupid boy.

 I’m strong and I don’t need a man. This is me trying to get over a boy I never dated. A boy I spend all my time with a talk to constantly. I’m going to try and make my feelings go away and we are going to be very close friends. These feelings need to stop and this is my first step in trying to make this happen.

 I can’t believe my feelings just sprang up on me. I’m annoyed because I really didn’t think I would ever like him, it just kind of happened. I honestly don’t even know if we would be a good couple. So whatever the future leads, I want him as my boyfriend that’s what my heart says but my mind also says do you really think you guys would date long anyways? It’s true. I’m hoping we date badly but my mind is also wondering if it’s really worth it?

 I guess I’ll see but for now I’m not going to initiate any contact but oh god I hope he texts me or calls me tonight. I know we just hung out today and then he had to work but he usually texts me or calls me after and if he doesn’t I feel like I’d just cry.