How To Get Over Your Ex
I don't handle breakups well. At all. Crying, not eating, depression. Not fun. I've had 3 of what I would consider to be bad breakups and through those have learned what I've done right and wrong in helping to heal my heart. Below are tips I've learned from my experiences that I hope can help you.
Delete his phone number. You MUST cut off all communication, at least until your heart heals. Continuing to be in contact with your ex will only delay the healing process. One of the great things about cell phones is that you never have to remember anyone's number. Delete his from your phone without looking at it. If you are worried about needing to be able to reach him in the future, have a family member or friend write it down and hold onto it until they think it's okay for you to have it back.
Ask him to stop contacting you. If you think he'll continue to reach out to you after the breakup, kindly ask him not to. I've done this before, asked my ex not to text or call until the day I reached out to him first, if that ever happened. Tell them you need it. If they don't respect your wishes, block their number on your phone. You'll always be able to unblock it later.
Remove him from ALL social networking platforms. Social networking can make a breakup so much worse, I'm looking at you facebook for announcing my breakup to the world. It also makes it easy for you to still get a daily dose of your ex. I think I'd be sick if I added up all the hours I spent after a breakup obsessing over ex's profiles. Who is the girl in that photo? Who is the girl he just friended? Does his profile still say single? Why doesn't it say anything at all?! You HAVE to stop. You're wasting time on someone who doesn't want it or deserve it.
Don't get drunk. You might think drinking will help numb the pain, but for me drinking only amplifies how I'm feeling sober. If I'm happy, I get happier. If I'm sad, I get very sad. If this is what happens for you, don't drink. If you haven't removed his phone number this can lead to some very uncomfortable texts/calls that will probably make you feel worse in the morning.
Hang out with friends or family. The only time I would stop thinking about my ex was when I was having fun with people I care about. Just make sure it's sober fun. I recommend a game night.
Have a support person. For me, that's my mom. Anytime I was feeling very sad or wanted to reach out to my ex, I talked to her instead. If not your mom, get a close friend. Tell them ahead of time what you need, that you're going through a difficult time dealing with the end of your relationship and need someone to lean on for support. Don't feel bad about reaching out too much.
Don't start dating if you're not ready. This may not apply to everyone, but for me hanging out with a new guy when I'm not over an ex only makes me miss him more. I find myself pointing out how this new guy is not like my ex and why can't I be with him instead and blah blah blah. If you sleep with him without really wanting to, it can make you feel worse. I know some of my friends who like the distraction, but for me it didn't help the healing. You need to be the one to fill the hole in your heart, not some new guy.
Write how you feel. After a breakup, there will be so many things I'm sure you'll want to tell your ex. Don't. Telling him how horrible a person he is won't make you feel better and neither will telling him over and over how much you miss him and want to get back together. Write down how you feel. Even though no one else may ever hear it, getting those words out will help.
Know that it gets better. During the months after my breakups, and even up to a year in one case, I thought my world was over. I would never be as happy as I was with him. No one would ever understand me like he did. In every case, I was wrong. I look back now at each of those times and am amazed about how wrong I was and how happy I am now. It's normal to feel alone and sad and angry, but with time you'll heal. And most likely, you'll grow stronger because you'll take what you learned in that relationship and apply it to future ones.
Lastly, and most importantly, if you're depressed or having suicidal thoughts, get help immediately. There is no guy that is worth taking your life over. I've felt this. I've been there. There is so much more to life and so many better things ahead for you. I promise. I know.
If you do need help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.
1-800-273-8255
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Love ya,
-B
