Pile 1 - Hello Darling,

Spirit says you can achive your dreams, I feel you have at least one thing you want to achieve so much you have anxiety sometimes. Sometimes you even lie to yourself and decieve yourself by listening to those who say you can't do it, maybe you even might have tendecy to procastinate or sabotage your own desires. Spirit says you got this, you can do it! Fast enough you can leave all that behind and connect to your inner self. Meditate, take time to be by yourself, listen to your body, listen to your intuition. Your dreams are attaniable, you have the power of the empress in you, you deserve achieving your dreams.

Remeber you don't recieve what you want, you always recieve what you believe you can recieve. With this I don't say if you don't believe the universe won't give you opportunity, with this I say you won't believe your chances when they arrive and maybe you can leave them behind because you don't believe in yourself. Please believe in yourself, you got this, you can do it!

Pile 2 - Fairies

Pile 2, you've been working hard for a long time, and it seems the work seems to never end! take time to release all burdens and accept there's fight you cannot win and work you don't have to do. DELEGATE ON OTHERS PLEASE! Although there is things in the oven getting ready for you, finding some peace is the best. Please take time to rest.

I have the feeling there's people who don't have the best intentions near, try to not overburden yourself just because they're there. The right time will come, there will be a trial, and you know how hard you've been working. Let go of what no longer serves, let go of these people and embrace what you learn. Set boundaries with them if you need to! don't let others take advantage of you!

Good things are coming, don't worry about that. Be present and find peace first, else you won't be able to enjoy the beautiful presents the universe has in store for you. You deserve all the good things in the world just because you breathe, there's no need to overload yourself with the work of others!

Pile 3- YingYang Kittens

Pile three balance is the key! it seems you have a lot on your plate and you struggled a lot. Spirit says you've done too much but justice will be served and you will receive your presents for your hard work,

Spirit suggests there's a lot more in accepting things as they are, you are light, you are magic and you don't need to be so hard on yourself. Where you see a little bit, spirit can tell how far you've come!

Sometimes we look at the final goal and we can't appreciate how much we changed since we started. Look back, some years ago, and compare to where you are, you will see victory and a great story of success. This is the proof you need to keep you going, release al burden and appreciate every small achievement.

Pile 1: page of swords (rx), king of swords (rx), the hanged man, four of wands (rx), two of coins (rx) page of wands

Key phrases: missed opportunities, stuck in a uncomfortable place, no more room to grow, too much to take on, I must be free, lack of responsibility

So to begin your reading I would like to say a lot of our beliefs are not our own fault. Why am I mentioning this? Because you my pile one believe in something that you may not think you do. There are many beliefs here so I cannot pinpoint what is personally holding you but it is there. We learn a lot from the people around us as we grow older, friends and family alike even insignificant peoples opinions can influence our view of ourselves and the world. You may believe there is no way out when it takes a whole lot of work to change that perspective just as much as it takes to change this problem. You are in an environment (or once were) that held no growth or comfort for you. You were always put to work or walking on egg shells to get things done in your home.

This environment puts the belief in you that there is no better place to go or to be so manifestations and attempts to change have felt hopeless but you must recognize your contribution to this belief. For many their is a specific belief that was instilled in you that holds you to be right. That if you are wrong the people who are right deserve the opportunities more than you do. These thoughts hold a charge that only stops you from moving forward. Not everyone is always right. Even experts can be false.

I’m here to say that it is not helpless and the first thing to do is to move out of an environment that may be oppressing you, even if it is your own thought patterns. Always challenge those judgments even if they feel like you have a correct analysis of a situation, they aren’t fully right. Sometimes a familiar environment gives way to us repeating past actions that may not align with us now but we are wired to repeat patterns, our brains do this to preserve energy. Stop assuming the worst, stop judging yourself because you deserve space to grow and learn. You deserve grace, you deserve a space to keep learning even if you know better; it’s hard to shake off what we have always done.

If you can change your environment in some way this will help you get out of the need to repeat state; maybe even making it a routine to go to a friends house or just out. Then from there you need to surround yourself with the new belief you want to implement. Do you want to build more independence? Slowly make choices that align with that, small ones first and take your time until your belief in yourself shifts. It’s hard to notice but that’s why we have people around us to help. If you have only yourself it may be hard to gauge but you are changing with every step you take. You are not stuck to the tree like the hanged man, you can free yourself from the confines if we actively challenge those set beliefs. Keep challenging the norm and you and your subconscious will start catching on to this change. Things will start working out more as you begin this process. You are not your mistakes or judgments, you are the human being who is witnessing the judgments and having the choice to internalize them or challenge them.

Pile 2: the world (rx), six of cups (rx), page of coins (rx), the high priestess (rx), seven of cups

Key phrases: my comforts aren’t helping, I see no way forward, there are too many options that I’m frozen in place, my intuition isn’t working, the world is against me

I see pile 2 that you are stuck in a repeating cycle. This seems to be about the past and holding onto something from the past that does not serve the you that you are becoming. There is an aspect of bad luck as well so if you feel like things are against you I see why, you're so valid. I also get the feeling that many of you know exactly why things aren’t working out but it’s just nice to hear someone agree with you.

This transition you are going through is a big one that expands over a long period of time. For many this is about healing and feeling in control of your life when it has been controlled by others. Now that you have claimed your power back it’s like you are now fighting yourself and the world; that's very scary. Sometimes we can’t be in control of everything even our own emotions. So what do we do from here? The advice I see is to not overthink why this is happening (if you can try to catch yourself overthinking then it will help but I understand how overthinking can be involuntary sometimes) and ask what you can do now instead of what could happen or what could go wrong. The why may be clear but to some it is vague.

For others I see that being to analytical, logical and critical will not help you at this time. There seems to be so many issues in the world and so much stressors no wonder why things are not working out, you're putting all that burden and pressure on yourself when one person cannot take that all on. These past habits are being released weather you liked them or not and it WILL overall benefit you to be able to accept it but its ok if you can't right now.

Trust yourself in making choices even if it feels to risky and if things continue to not work out the world won’t end or stop moving; the scales always go back into balance. The possibilities are endless for you and it’s ok to pick the one option you feel less hostile towards. Cycles do have an end and you are getting out of it, I promise you. You are learning at your pace so give yourself some grace like I had said in the last pile. (I didn't mean to rhyme but there you go haha).

Pile 3: queen of swords, 9 of wands (rx), knight of pentacles, page of pentacles, queen of pentacles

Key phrases: I may be in control but I’m tired of it, I just want to lay around and do nothing, everything is so slow I want to give up, I love what I do but how do I stay motivated?

So for you pile 3 I see that things aren’t working out for you because there is impatience and judgment of the process. I see for some, you think you should be in a better place by now with all your knowledge and specialties. For others of you, there is this burnt out feeling and you hate that you keep getting burnt out when all you desire is to be stable; to be in a place where you feel secure in yourself and your work or school. You feel off balance and there are peoples opinions and conditioning swirling around your head and not realizing that this is what is holding you down.

You are the one living your life and if you must take it slower then listen to your body not your brain who always thinks it knows what is best for you. Listen to your feelings. I’m not saying to ignore your logic and I am also not saying to ignore deadlines especially if you have to work on projects but you need to be more understanding with your limits and how your limits may be pushed a lot with you own expectations and demands.

I think some of you know this and are trying to find the balance but most here are ignoring the fact that every part of you has to have a say. Your body, mind and emotions are all in need of balancing to reach a place of peace so things may start feeling like they are going your way again. These expectations of yourself should be motivation, not something to hold above your head and to use against you.

Just know that with patience and understanding things will get better, take this advice and find a good balance of rest and work which may not be favorable right now but when it can be done make the shift. You deserve kindness at this time and slowness. Finish what needs to get done now but after take some time to relax and gather yourself. Heal then get back up, life will start going your way again.

Pile 4: 7 of swords, 2 of wands, queen of cups, knight of pentacles, 4 of wands (rx), the fool

Key phrases: I want to pave my own way, ambitious but anxious, taking things slow makes me feel like I’m going no where, no room to grow where I am now, I want to take risks but is that the right choice?

I think for you pile 4 you may be knowingly sabotaging your plans in fear of losing your freedom. Wow that’s some heavy stuff but I understand where you are coming from. Right now you may be able to do what you want but the things you truly desire to cultivate may have to take a lot of time and effort to really build up; that takes sacrifice. For some of you, you don’t want to lose your freedom doing whatever you desire in the moment which make a lot of sense.

You guys follow your happiness but sometimes our true desires and happiness are actually aligned with working and discipline. It is hard my loves, to let go of what you have to get to what you really want but that’s why things aren’t working out for you (this kinda reminds me of pile 2 but you guys are way more specific). You don’t want to let go because you think you will lose it when really it will always be there its just acknowledging you need to sacrifice some of your free time for the future, not all of it but some.

Sometimes we have to work on a dream for it to come true. Some of us who have been through trauma or neglectful childhoods can’t find the motivation for future plans because our brains are wired to focus on “what can I do right now to make myself feel better?” Then the latter “what should I be working on so my future is better?” It’s ok if you don’t have that issue, some of us are just wired differently. You my pile 4 are just more wired to please yourself right now then to please your future self but oh golly will your future self appreciate your efforts.