#genderfluid!reader

thalia is pretty gender nonconforming herself, so it’s not exactly a leap to say she’d be into someone who fucks around with gender

we’re ignoring the whole hunters of artemis thing because it’s convenient for me <3

your wardrobes have become indistinguishable from each other with the amount of times you’ve borrowed the other’s clothes

you’re worked out a system where you can tell her which pronouns to use and which gender you identify with at that time

maybe it’s a certain bracelet, maybe a pin badge, maybe you text her emojis with different meanings

maybe she just asks throughout the day and you keep her updated

thalia has a lot of fun confusing Straight People™️ by saying “this is my boyfriend’s skirt doesn’t she have good taste?” or “oh my girlfriend is picking me up, they’re just running late”

much fun can be had with many sets of pronouns

occasionally she’ll even try out different pronouns for herself just to see how it feels

she pretends she’s stealing your pronouns for the day like a little thieving gremlin

and so becomes a game where you have to chase her and catch her to get them back

undoubtably this ends up in you pinning her down and making out with her until you’re laughing too much to continue

Chapter One:

The dark prince of Asgard was escorted through the identical halls of the Avengers Tower, his brothers grip firm upon his shoulder as he led him to a certain room he had no intention of paying attention to.

As soon as he stepped out of what the mortals called an 'elevator', harsh voices and incredulous exclamations could be heard down the corridor, all of which Loki remembered from his last visit to Midgard. However the most prominent was the one he most dreaded to hear, for it always left him with a headache.

"What do you mean he's staying here? Last time I checked I own the tower, not some All-Father of Assgard! He can't just drop a prince throwing a tantrum in our laps and expect us to-"

"Enough Stark. Odin could strike you down any time he pleased, and as much as I don't agree with him, none of us have much of a say. Besides," the door standing between them parted, revealing the brooding God of the conversation. "He's already here."

Loki's gaze wandering over the room, flitting over every Avengers face for no more than a second, avoiding the nervous doctor seated in a corner altogether, the memories of their last meeting still fresh in his warped mind. Eventually his green eyes landed on the Director of the whole operation himself, the eye not obscured by a patch watching him cautiously, though without fear. He merely rose a brow.

"Hello friends!" Thor greeted enthusiastically, an attempt to defuse the argument heard down the hall no doubt, if the bruising grip on Loki's shoulder was anything to go by.

"Look who's back. How's it feel to be back Reindeer Games? Feel like committing genocide again anytime soon?"

"Stark."

Loki locked his jaw, mentally shrinking away from the effort he had 'promised' Thor that he would put in to 'fit in', whatever that meant. He kept silent, however the leather over his shoulders dented with the force the God behind him im used.

"Thor." He hissed, glaring at him in his peripheral. When he didn't relent, he turned his head to the left, the daggers of his stare warning enough without the threat he added. "Get your grubby hands off of me. I don't need you leashing me to your side wherever we go like some dog." He grumbled, ignoring the way his brothers look said otherwise.

(Rundown of his time there, first reunion with Avengers, arguments with Thor, and new accommodations. Then sudden interruption.)

Chapter two:

(You're introduced, kind, team concern, bid goodnight.)

You leaned out of the doorway, scanning the group of heros in the living room. Your eyenrows raised at the sight of the new man, and considering his height, posture, and clothes, you assumed he wasnt of this world.

"Hey, new guy." Everyone stopped what they were saying to look at the exchange. The man however, did not. You whistled lowly. "You, the emo prince." Many tried not to let their giggles escape at the name, but many failed. Finally the man looked up with a harsh glare and annoyed scowl. You didn't seem the least bit phased. "Yeah, you. Come set the table."

He scoffed. "I will not take orders from some pesky mortal-"

"I dont give a fuck who or what you are. Whatever obvious high status you had back home means nothing here." You stared him down, the anger from your earlier missions sizzling to the brim of your emotions. You didnt have much patience at times like these. "So get in here, and set the table."

He seemed ready to argue, fight to the death even, but when he glance briefly to the side, he saw the fear and anxiety on everyone elses face, even Thor, he started to think twice. Standing abruptly, he snapped his book shut, let it shimmer into the air with a frustrated wave of his hand, and stalked to the dining room with the stubbornness of a child, but the regalty of a king.

You smirked to yourself and led him to the kitchen so he could gather utensils. With a wave of his hand, everything was set, but instead of looking impressed like he expected, you only glared at him. Snapping your fingers, causing f/c sparks to appear, everything was back in their respectful cabinet. "No magic." Was all you said, only taking a bit of satisfaction at the almost shocked look in his eyes. You took the pile of plates amd shoved it in his hands, going to gather the dinner you prepared in the kitchen. Loki grumbled to himself and began setting the plates down one by one, almost breaking some in the process. When he got to the silverware, he thought hs might be able to cheat a bit, but one look at you dismissed the tempting thought.

When you called to the team, they all came in immediately, eyes wideing with worry at the feast set out before them. The mission must have been horrible.

Before you sat down, you took a light grip of the mans arm before quickly letting go. "Thank you..."

"Loki. Loki Friggason." He introduced with a nod. He saw the recognition of his name in your expression, and maybe something else close to....hope? No, impossible. you extended your hand anyways, fully expecting him to take it.

"Y/N. Y/N l/n." He took your hand with reluctance.

As you sat across from him at the table, the team dug in, moving into conversation just like before, though didn't include you like usual, knowing you wanted to eat in peace at meals like these. But they didnt include Loki either.

You had done your fair share of research of the Battle of New York once you became a member of the Avengers, and you asked everyone there thoughts on the attacker himself. After only going through half the team, you got the gist. He was a manipulative, physcotic, lier. But that couldnt be all, right?

You went to Thor next, and found that he didn't agree with all of the others veiws. He had changed before the attack, and even more so afterwards. He wasn't sure what happened, but it had been for the worst. You wanted the Gods personal story since that day. You wanted to know what really happened. What he was going through. What drove him to try and rule another world. But you knew it wouldnt ever happen, considering the god was locked away, key non existent.

Youve looked through every news clip, article, video, and podcast. It wasnt until recently that you were given clearance to the towers security footage. You kept running scans on the down low, and devoted your free time to the project when you were bored. Despite what everyone said you felt like you were on to something. (Later you manage to see the differenc run his eye color)

But now...now you might have a chance to finally feed your curiosity.

And despite your snappy mood earlier, you were obviously much more open minded than everyone else.

"So Loki," you began, trying not to disrupt the others conversation and bring attention to you. "When did you get here?"

Halfway through your conversation, the others started to notice your rather civil interaction, but didn't have the heart to stop it. You seemed to be calming down from your mission now, but they didnt want to relight the fuse. After dinner, they confronted you while you hummed and washed dishes.

"I don't see what the big deal is. He had limiting reactors on, and I know Tony's made modifications galore. I'm in no real danger."

"La- Sir Y/N," Thor scrunched his face in confusion once he glanced at the navy blue tag on your shirt. "I don't doubt you capable skills to defend yourself, but Loki is much stronger than-"

"Thor, I appreciate your concern. All of your concern." You look at the rest of the team. "But I can handle it. Besides, I've been wanting to run a bit of an....experiment."

Chapter three:

Breakfast, your skills as a cook, lack of sleep, whacking away those who want the chocolate. proposing you show Loki around properly. He discovers the library. You want to find a gentle way to approached the Battle of NYC

Chapter four:

That night Loki discovers your cooking habbits. He joins you, asks about the pins, bonding. You ask subtle questions of his powers and relationship with Thor and the kingdom.

Chapter five:

You end up spending some time together, then you get in an argument with Furry over a mission, and Loki is impressed by your quip and sass. You ask mutual questions.

Ideas:

You bake when to express your emotions. It's how you cope. And it's healthier than killing people...

Loki smells your cooking and hears the clatter of pans during one of his walks at night. He sees you, joins you, and cooks with you. Besides the occasional whispered instruction or correction, it was peacefully silent. This became a tradition.

When people try to sneak tastes of your food, you wack their hand with a spoon, ladle, rolling pin, whatever you have in hand. They make sure to do it when you arent using a knife.

You eventually open your own resturant. You have a rooftop garden.

You wear a pin that either says she/they on purple or he/they in a navy blue to tell people how you feel that day

(One night, he asks what your pins mean, and youe explain how you are Gender fluid. He only tilted his head in curiosity, nodding interestedly as you explained. "Alright.")

You leaned out of the doorway, scanning the group of heros in the living room. Your eyenrows raised at the sight of the new man, and considering his height, posture, and clothes, you assumed he wasnt of this world.

"Hey, new guy." Everyone stopped what they were saying to look at the exchange. The man however, did not. You whistled lowly. "You, the emo prince." Many tried not to let their giggles escape at the name, but many failed. Finally the man looked up with a harsh glare and annoyed scowl. You didn't seem the least bit phased. "Yeah, you. Come set the table."

He scoffed. "I will not take orders from some pesky mortal-"

"I dont give a fuck who or what you are. Whatever obvious high status you had back home means nothing here." You stared him down, the anger from your earlier missions sizzling to the brim of your emotions. You didnt have much patience at times like these. "So get in here, and set the table."

He seemed ready to argue, fight to the death even, but when he glanced briefly to the side, he saw the fear and anxiety on everyone else's face, even Thor, he started to think twice. Standing abruptly, he snapped his book shut, let it shimmer into the air with a frustrated wave of his hand, and stalked to the dining room with the stubbornness of a child, but the regalty of a king.

You smirked to yourself and led him to the kitchen so he could gather utensils. With a wave of his hand, everything was set, but instead of looking impressed like he expected, you only glared at him. Snapping your fingers, causing f/c sparks to appear, everything was back in their respectful cabinet. "No magic." Was all you said, only taking a bit of satisfaction at the obviously out of place look of shock in his eyes. You took the pile of plates and shoved it in his hands, going to gather the dinner you prepared in the kitchen. Loki grumbled to himself and began setting the plates down one by one, almost breaking some in the process. When he got to the silverware, he thought he might be able to cheat a bit, but one look at you dismissed the tempting thought.

When you called to the team, they all came in immediately, eyes wideing with worry at the feast set out before them. The mission must have been horrible.

Before you sat down, you took a light grip of the mans arm before quickly letting go. "Thank you..."

"Loki. Loki Friggason." He introduced with a nod. He saw the recognition of his name in your expression, and maybe something else close to....hope? No, impossible. you extended your hand anyways, fully expecting him to take it.

"Y/n. Y/n L/n." He took your hand with reluctance.

As you sat across from him at the table, the team dug in, moving into conversation just like before, though didn't include you like usual, knowing you wanted to eat in peace at meals like these. But they didnt include Loki either.

You had done your fair share of research of the Battle of New York once you became a member of the Avengers, and you asked everyone there thoughts on the attacker himself. After only going through half the team, you got the gist. He was a manipulative, physcotic, lier. But that couldnt be all, right?

You went to Thor next, and found that he didn't agree with all of the others veiws. He had changed before the attack, and even more so afterwards. He wasn't sure what happened, but it had been for the worst. You wanted the Gods personal story since that day. You wanted to know what really happened. What he was going through. What drove him to try and rule another world. But you knew it wouldnt ever happen, considering the god was locked away, key non existent.

Youve looked through every news clip, article, video, and podcast. It wasn't until recently that you were given clearance to the towers security footage. You kept running scans on the down low, and devoted your free time to the project when you were bored. Despite what everyone said you felt like you were on to something. (Later you manage to see the difference in his eye color)

But now...now you might have a chance to finally feed your curiosity.

And despite your snappy mood earlier, you were obviously much more open minded than everyone else.

"So Loki," you began, trying not to disrupt the others conversation and bring attention to you. "When did you get here?"

Halfway through your conversation, the others started to notice your rather civil interaction, but didn't have the heart to stop it. You seemed to be calming down from your mission now, but they didnt want to relight the fuse. After dinner, they confronted you while you hummed and washed dishes.

"I don't see what the big deal is. He had limiting reactors on, and I know Tonys made modifications galore. I'm in no real danger."

"La- Sir Y/N," Thor scrunched his face in confusion once he glanced at the navy blue tag on your shirt. "I don't doubt you capable skills to defend yourself, but Loki is much stronger than-"

"Thor, I appreciate your concern. All of your concern." You look at the rest of the team. "But I can handle it. Besides, I've been wanting to run a bit of an....experiment."

*cooking segment with you and loki dancing around the kitchen as you cook*

One night Loki comes down to find you aggressively cutting up a watermelon, berries, and whipping up custard, grumbling to yourself, and he could hear hear you mocking someone in an over exaggerated deep voice. He entered cautiously, and you told him to start making the cream and set the dishes for them to chill in. Apparently Fury had called you into another mission, and you were still mad at him about the last one.

---

↭ = TIMESKIP

---

You weren't an Avenger during 2012. You were travelling the world after your father passed, learning from the best chefs, cooks, bakers, ect. You'd done your research however, especially after getting to America and hearing the news. You'd done your fair share of research after seeing it's affect on the team, and became intrigued by the God, mythology becoming a hobby - that just so happened to introduce you to even more delicious dishes.

However when you meet Loki, putting two and two together and having heard rumors about the tower, something doesn't seem right.

And so the hobby turns into an obsession, looking back at your notes and the videos and news clips. Podcasts and survivor readings.

It didn't match up.

There was something wrong with the way Loki acted.

And you finally had the real thing living across the hall.

---

When you explain how you are Genderfluid, Loki blatantly asks if you're a God. You laugh and blush, shaking your head.

"Almost, but not quite."

When Loki appears as lady Loki, she does so confidently as if it were normal, which it is, she just didn't know you had a name for it. For it was just existing, just as it is for you.

---

You weren't an Avenger during 2012. You were travelling the world after your father passed, learning from the best chefs, cooks, bakers, ect. You'd done your research however, especially after getting to America and hearing the news. You'd done your fair share of research after seeing it's affect on the team, and became intrigued by the God, mythology becoming a hobby - that just so happened to introduce you to even more delicious dishes.

However when you meet Loki, putting two and two together and having heard rumors about the tower, something doesn't seem right.

And so the hobby turns into an obsession, looking back at your notes and the videos and news clips. Podcasts and survivor readings.

It didn't match up.

There was something wrong with the way Loki acted.

“I’m ready…” you said quietly, sitting up and facing the blonde.

At this, Larissa put her book down on the nightstand and turned her entire attention to you.

“Are you sure?” She softly asked, her caring and loving gaze meeting yours.

You bit your lip and nodded.

“Yes.”

Larissa hummed and nodded in response.

You two had talked about this a good deal. How you had never been with anyone. And how with your chest dysphoria, you were extra anxious about it. Larissa had lovingly listened through your stuttering in telling her this. And she had said that she’d wait until you were ready. She wanted it to be on your terms, is what she had said.

“Alright, well I think the most important thing is that we take it all to your pace…” she gently spoke.

You nodded in agreement.

“I’ll need verbal confirmations from you, sweet thing.”

You blushed slightly at the pet name and nodded.

“I understand.” You nervously breathed out.

Larissa’s hands took yours and gave them a reassuring squeeze.

“How about we talk about it all first, and then you can direct me with what your comfortable with?” She suggested.

You sighed and nodded once more.

“I’d like that…”

She then guided you to sit in front of her, her legs open so that you sat in between them. You happily moved to her lead, situating yourself in between the blonde’s legs. This compromising position alone was starting to get you all hot and bothered.

“Alright well first…” she hummed, bringing the pad of her thumb to your lips, “I’d kiss those pretty lips of yours… Softly… And with care.”

You shivered as her thumb ran over your bottom lip, asking gently for permission. You opened your mouth enough for the tall woman to slip her thumb into your wet cavern. You whimpered slightly as she entered you.

“I’d take my time exploring your lips and your cavern… I’d bring my tongue in to meet yours, entangling yours with mine…” she husked, rubbing the pad of her thumb on your tongue.

You whimpered slightly at her action, and you instinctually took to sucking on her digit. Larissa hummed in delight, praising you at your action, and making you blush and rub your thighs together.

“Good girl…”

She then popped her thumb out of your mouth and trailed it down you chin, neck, and to your shoulders, where she stopped. Your breath hitched. The feeling of your saliva being dragged on your bare skin made you feel all hot and fuzzy.

“I’d kiss you all the way down here until I’d reach your shirt.” She husked, “I’d lovingly ask you to removed your shirt for me… and then your trousers…”

She skipped touching your shirt and went to fiddle slightly with the buttons to your trousers. You sighed slightly in relief.

“This would be when I’d have to change positions with me, and I’d lay you back with your legs spread wide open…” she hummed, running her hand up and down your legs.

You shuddered at the contact, the skin under your trousers getting goosebumps. She then brought her hand back to your face, cupping your cheek lovingly. You closed your eyes and Leane sun to her touch with a hum.

“And then I’d finally taste those secret juices you have hidden away, one’s I know I will get addicted to, just by a mere lick…” The blonde lustfully cooed.

You opened your eyes as blush swept across your entire face and your heart started racing faster and faster.

“What about you…?” You choked out.

Larissa’s face melted in care and love.

“Oh Darling… We can worry about me later…” she gently purred.

“Ok… Thank you.” You sighed, a little less anxious now.

She brought your gaze back to hers with her hand.

“If at any point in time, you wish for me to stop, simply say ‘Pearl’, and everything will immediately stop.” Larissa seriously yet gently spoke.

“I understand…” you breathed out.

The blonde’s fingers ran against your lips, her eyes flickering from your gaze to your lips and then back up to your eyes. Your gaze mimicked hers.

“Kiss me” you whispered.

The blonde didn’t need to be told twice. She retracted her legs so that she was sitting on them and her body was close enough to feel your breath on her skin. She paused, keeping her hand on your cheek, before leaning in and lightly pressing her lips to yours. You were hesitant, simply letting the blonde lead and kiss you.

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” She murmured into your lips.

“Once. Sloppy. Drunk. In college…” you muttered, your mind already too far into the moment too far into her lips.

She began licking your lips in between her pecks. Your eyes fluttered closed, sighing in relief at her lingering touches.

“Then just follow my lead, Darling…” Larissa hummed in response.

You hummed in acknowledgment, so in the moment that you forgot to verbally respond. But then the goddess pulled away. She was cocking an amused eyebrow at you. You blushed furiously.

“I’m sorry. Teach me. Please.” You whispered.

The blonde hummed in satisfaction, connecting her lips to yours once more. This time, you were more responsive, you tried to mimic her actions. She bit your lower lip lightly, eliciting a breathy moan from your throat, which the blonde happily swallowed. You then did the same back, causing Larissa to whimper lightly. Her sound make your stomache flip upside down.

You wanted to hear more noises from those lips… You wanted to taste them… You wanted to taste her…

Larissa then traced her tongue along your lower lip, silently asking permission for access. You more than happily opened your mouth enough for her tongue to slip in. Her tongue was quick to entangle with yours, but she went slow in exploring your wet cavern. Now you full on moaned at the blonde’s taste. You hips eagerly bucked forward. And you suddenly didn’t know where to place your hands. Larissa sensed your mild panic and pulled away slightly.

“Here, Touch me. Explore, Darling…” she husked, taking your hands and placing them on her frame.

You looked from where she had placed your hands back to the blonde. You began gingerly exploring Larissa’s body. The blonde’s hot mouth then began peppering kisses along your chin, and she slowly moved to your neck and then to your shoulders. All the while, you ran your hands along her frame… When Larissa got to your shoulders, she pulled away, causing you to pull your hands away.

“Would you remove your shirt, my Darling…?” Larissa softly purred.

You gulped and the thoughts in your mind started to spiral. Larissa quickly took your hands in hers.

“Look at me, love.”

You looked up at the blonde, and your heart was put at ease by her.

“It’s okay if you want to stop…” she whispered.

“No…!” You whimpered, “I just… could… could the top maybe stay on…?”

Larissa’s loving gaze only tripled.

“Of course. Would you be alright with removing your trousers?” She cooed.

You bit your lip, blushed once more, and nodded.

“Yes I’d quite like that…” you breathed out, already going to unbutton your trousers.

Larissa chuckled at how eager you quickly turned to be. Your pants were thrown to the ground in mere seconds. And before the blonde had to ask, you had thrown your knickers out as well .

“Can I move you towards the headboard, Darling…?” The stunning woman asked.

Your breath hitched.

“Yes.”

Larissa then smiled and gently moved you to switch places with her with ease. Now she was the one in between your legs. She then laid you back on the bed, and you instinctually spread your legs for her. Larissa’s eyes widened at your virgin, soaked cunt. She couldn’t help but lick her lips.

“I’d like to make you feel good, love. And I’d like to use my tongue… Are you alright with that?” She breathed out.

“Yes yes please need you please…!” You whimpered, bucking your hips up to meet the blonde.

Larissa’s eyes shimmered with anticipation as she lowered her hot mouth to your needy sex. She licked a stripe through your folds, sending shivers down your spine and eliciting a slight whimper from your lips.

“Did you like that, sweet thing…?” Larissa purred.

“Yes… more please…” you whispered as you went bashfully red at the response she has elicited from you.

Larissa smiled and nodded in recognition of your plea.

“Of course, Darling…” she husked, before slowly dipping her tongue back into your folds.

The blonde explores your core, lapping through your folds, around your clit, and around your hole, pulling more whimpers and mewls from your lips.

“Relax… Let me hear you, love. You can be loud…” Larissa encouraged you.

You took a deep breath and suddenly you felt her hot mouth latching onto your cinder of nerves, sending jolts of hot pleasure through your body. You let out a particularly lewd and breathy moan at the blonde’s action.

“Hmmm, Good girl…” she hummed, before dipping her tongue into your aching core.

You mewled in the pleasure of being filled finally. One hand was holding on tightly to the sheets, while the other traveled down to the woman’s platinum locks. You pushed her face even deeper into you cunt, making the blonde chuckle. Her tongue began fucking your throbbing cunt at a mind blowing pace for you, your eyes rolling back in pleasure.

“Sweet girl… Hmmmm…” Larissa moaned at your abundant taste, “your virgin cunt gets wet so easily…”

The blonde fucked your slick pussy with care and skill. Her hands were placed on you thighs, to keep them from suffocating her head. Eventually, one of her hands snaked to your clit and her digits begun rubbing circles on your bundle of nerves. This only furthered your pleasure, more sparks and flashes of hot pleasure taking over your entire body, causing you to spasm.

“Are you close, Darling…?” Larissa hummed.

“More please please ‘Rissa don’t stop…!!” You mewled.

Larissa understood and continued her administrations, speeding up her a pace a bit. More whimpers and moans spewed from your lips as the blonde continued to lap away at your cunt. The change in pace heightened all the pleasurable feelings, and it was the push you needed to crash over the edge.

Larissa had to hold your thigh tightly as you came, as you were spasming and trying to close them around her head, while you rode out your orgasm on her tongue. When you had come to a point where you were onto slightly trembling and your breathing was coming back down, Larissa crawls up to you and connected her lips to yours.

“How was that, my love?” She hummed into your lips.

“Wonderful…” you panted, “Thank you ‘Rissa…”

“Anytime, Darling.” Larissa hummed.

~~~

Disclaimer: YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WRITING ANYWHERE ELSE WITHOUT MY CONSENT. REBLOGS ARE ENCOURAGED THOUGH. YOU MAY NOT FEED MY WORK TO ANY AI DATABASES OF ANY KIND OR TO USE MY WORKS TO TRAIN AI. FUCK AI.

“Make sure you go up to the eighth floor to get your new IDs before the end of the day,” Hotch told everyone before he exited the room. 

It was ten in the morning and there was no new case, so after a short briefing to catch him up on what consultations everyone was working on at the moment, the BAU Unit Chief swiftly returned to his office. 

Everyone else started to shuffle out after him, back to the bullpen and their own exhausting tasks. But that was the job, and you all loved it too much to let the boring paperwork days like this one dampen the exciting, fulfilling, and thrilling ones out on the field. 

But you didn’t move, you couldn’t move as his words echoed in your mind. 

The task was simple. And yet for you it was daunting. 

Penelope’s words still circled in your mind. She had told you a week ago when the request came through that she could easily hack into the Bureau’s database and edit the information on your badge for you. That no one would ever know, that it would just already be there when you got it. 

But you’d told her you didn’t want to get her in trouble, that you would go talk to Hotch about it, finally. But then you’d been whisked away on a case and you honestly used it as an excuse to cower and not say anything.

Everyone except Hotch knew at that point.

Penelope had been the first to figure it out since you’d changed your displayed pronouns on your private social media and being the chronically online lady she was, she clocked the change immediately. 

She’d confronted you about it the next day and you let out an incredibly long sigh of relief when she told you how proud of you she was. There was no need to confirm it, displaying something on social media was as good as telling it to her personally. 

JJ and Emily were stunned to walk into the bullpen so early to an overly excited Penelope practically squeezing the life out of you. Before you could even tell her to stop, she turned around to tell them the news when they asked what was going on. 

It was only after they had both been shocked so strongly they didn’t need a cup of coffee to wake them up, smiled brightly and given you just as much attention as Penelope just had, that you told the chipper blonde that you weren’t sure you were ready to tell everyone quite yet. She’d been apologizing profusely ever since, hence the proposal to hack into the FBI to make it up to you. 

The four of you kept that secret tightly to your chests for a few weeks. You’d been using more gender neutral language at the office regardless, so it was easy to stay true to yourself, as much as gender neutrality allowed, while also not making how you actually wanted to be addressed a big thing.  

It wasn’t until the handsome incident that you finally told Reid. You’d decided to wear a binder that day to finally wear a sweater vest you’d been obsessing over for the past few days. You felt beautiful, confident—

“Well, good morning handsome,” Emily’s voice made your cheeks flush. You couldn’t reply, couldn’t do anything other than hide away as she giggled at your reaction. No one had called you handsome before, and you feared it might’ve been too much.

You finally noticed him when you sat at your desk, your cheeks still flushed. Spencer was staring at you, brows furrowed and confusion plastered all over his face. It was as though he was noticing too many things all at once and he didn’t know how they all came together to provide the answer he was looking for. 

And so, just to spare the poor Doctor’s genius brain, you told him. It took him approximately three minutes coming up with a system. There was no reaction, no follow up questions, nothing but acceptance and call to action. 

It had taken him that long because he didn’t want to just do the gender coded pink and blue. He’d settled on black for when you were feeling more like a girl, black for when you were feeling more like a boy, and silver for when you were feeling like neither. 

The next day he presented you with dainty bow pins that you could easily clip to your clothes or even your hair if you really wanted to. You wrapped him up in a tight hug, one that he didn’t shy away from, reciprocating it for as long as you needed.

You never had to tell Morgan. You’d gotten used to the girls using gender neutral language when they spoke about you and so when Morgan started to do it, you didn’t catch onto it right away. But when you finally did, your eyes widening and the realization sinking into your bones, he simply winked at you and continued speaking.

The most daunting had been Rossi. It had been the day before and was still fresh in your mind. It was the first day you started to wear the little ribbons Spencer had made for you. Silver for your first day, you were easing into it after all. 

Everyone who was in on it knew what it meant immediately, but to Rossi unfortunately, your ribbon meant someone had died. He pointed it out in the kitchen, offering his condolences and whatever support you may need. 

It was sweet, so sweet in fact that he was suggesting taking some time off. There was no other way to explain it other than to come clean, and so you did.

You explained it all, every question that he could’ve easily googled, every perception that he had from his generation and how he grew up. You ended up talking for a while and it was nice to actually have someone so determined to understand, to make sure they weren’t being ignorant or accidentally using language absentmindedly. 

Which is why you needed to rip the bandaid now, needed to tell Hotch how you were feeling before you found another excuse to bide your time. 

You knocked on Hotch’s office door softly, almost too softly as it took him a second to look up at you. 

“Yes?” He asked then, closing the case file in front of him to show you, you had his whole attention. 

You stepped into the room then, gently closing the door behind you and he frowned in confusion for a split second. You didn’t lock the door, it wasn’t like that, and it seemed to alleviate some of the confusion he was feeling. 

“I…um…” you sat down in front of him, fiddling with your fingers. Somehow it had been easy to tell everyone else, even if it had been scary. 

But with him? You didn’t even know where to start. 

“I wanted to know if…if it was possible to have them remake my ID?” You started, hoping that you could find your voice if you talked about something physical, tangible, something that transcended you. 

“Is there a problem with the information you provided?” He asked plainly. 

“It’s not so much a problem as it is a…contradiction?” He sat back in his chair, clearly not having enough information to reply to you, so he allowed you to continue.

You straightened, looked him in the eye and pretended like you were the most confident person in the world, just enough to get you through this conversation.

“I’m not a woman, I’m not a man— I mean at least not all the time,” slowly but surely the gears started to click into place in his head. “And so I was wondering if there was a way to…reflect that on my new ID.”

He was silent for a long minute, the most anxiety inducing minute of your life. But then he leaned forward, resting his arms on the desk between the two of you. 

“I am…unbelievably sorry if I’ve been accidentally misgendering you,” he started, genuine emotion in his oftentimes stoic eyes. You immediately shook your head, your own hand reaching out to hold his without so much as a second thought.

“Hotch, you’re okay,” you squeezed, neither of you ever even flinching or finding the physical contact weird. He’d always been affectionate with you, and you…well you were affectionate with everyone so he didn’t think you had noticed. But you had, and you made sure to let him know through the smallest of gestures. 

“Is there anything we can do?” He asked and it was your turn to look confused. “Around the office, to accommodate you.”

You smiled brightly. He was so sweet, so kind and caring and gentle, always looking out for his team, for his friends, for you. 

You told him about how everyone else had been super accommodating, how your color coded system with Spencer worked, how Rossi had sent you a million screenshots of articles and stories and even asked if he could come to Pride with you.

He smiled a few times, snickered a couple and it made you heart swell each time. You didn’t know why you’d been so apprehensive about telling him, about letting him know how you were feeling.

Maybe it was because his opinion mattered so much to you, maybe it was because you were scared of the minuscule percentage of possibility that he could react badly, maybe it was because it would’ve broken your heart if he had.

But none of it mattered now. He had reacted perfectly, like you knew he would, and with his hand still in yours, he called HR to request your new badge be edited, with your permission to talk about your situation. 

You could not remember a time when you had felt so understood, so accepted, so loved. He had reminded you that there were no such things as silly requests. He’d do anything to make you feel comfortable, anything to make you feel like you could exist happy and healthy, anything to let you know that you were safe and that he’d move heaven and earth to make it so. 

my sweet babies are so freaking cute i love them sm