#gender-neutral

          The crew had always been very affectionate—cuddling and being together all the time—, so it was not surprising that you’d share beds, but it wasn’t that often that you’d be sharing a bed to sleep with Sanji rather than just to cuddle with him. Sanji’s chest moved against your back rhythmically with his even breathing, arm draped around your waist. The rest of the crew was scattered around the ship, sleeping in other quarters or wherever they found themselves comfortable.

Sanji’s breath hitched as he stirred in his sleep. His eyebrows furrowed, and he moved, inhaling sharply before suddenly pushing you enough to send you rolling off the bed. Thankfully, you didn’t hit anywhere, shuddering at being woken up so suddenly; the ground under your ass was the first thing you’d noticed. Some of the bedsheets came down with you when you tried instinctively to prevent yourself from falling, tangling on your limbs.

At first, you wondered if there was an invasion or something, but the silence you were met with made you even more confused.

“Fuck,” you whispered. Your heavy breathing was the only sound to fill the room as your heartbeat hammered in your ears, and you gasped when Sanji suddenly sat up with a broken scream that wasn’t actually loud.

Sanji sat there for a solid minute before his breath hitched, and he looked around the room until his eyes landed on you. It was hard to see his face in the darkness. “Uh, what… what are you doing there?’ He swallowed, trying to catch his breath as well, without much success. He furrowed his eyebrows, about to move to help you when you climbed back up on the bed, adjusting the pillows and sheets.

You furrowed your eyebrows and took a deep breath. “I guess you kicked me off the bed. Were you having a nightmare? Are you okay? Do you—”

Blood drained down Sanji’s body as he looked at you, eyes wide. He had kicked you? You? Out of all people? His heart sank, a bitter taste heavy on his tongue, as he observed you incredulously. A lump formed in his throat and made it hard to talk. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, compelling you to stop talking at the same moment.

“Huh? It’s fine, you didn’t mean to.”

Sanji pressed his lips together, shaking his head. He felt like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole and make him disappear from existence. Hitting someone like you—who he loved and cherished so much—went against everything he ever preached and what he believed in. Worst of all, he knew his kicks weren’t weak. He swallowed, pressing his eyes shut.

“Sanji,” you tried. “Hey, it’s okay. You didn’t do it consciously.” The words didn’t sit right, like they were more of a bother than a help, but you didn’t feel like you could do anything else to help him. Sanji rarely showed his weaknesses, so dealing with him wasn’t quite an easy job.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry,” Sanji said, and you were afraid he said it just to make you stop talking. “Where did I hit you?”

You only observed him briefly, or at least tried to do so in the darkness. Clearing your throat, you rubbed your hip, an area near your back. “Here.”

A frown was evident on Sanji’s face as he gently touched the area with a trembling hand, gulping. He was such a mess. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, voice strained. “Does it hurt? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” Sanji was shaking, his hands now on your shoulders and rubbing your collarbone lightly. “Really, I’m sorry.”

The pain wasn’t that bad, but you still gave him a moment, taking a deep breath to fully recover from the whole thing. “Sanji, trust me.”

His blue eye was barely visible in the darkness, but you could see it was full of tears. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know,” you reassured with a light nod, even though it didn’t seem to do much. He looked down before his gaze met yours again. “Oh, Sanji,” you whispered, instinctively pressing your forehead to his. It felt right.

Whatever happened—whoever leaned in first—was unclear among the fog of feelings all over the place, though the only thing that mattered was how comforting it felt. Sanji’s lips pressed to yours in an intense kiss, the taste of the last cigarette he had before bed lingering on his lips before you were forced to pull away because of the lack of air. It didn’t stop you two from trying to keep kissing despite the heavy breathing, tugging each other closer.

The kisses weren’t sexual, but they held their own intimacy and heat to it, craving the comfort and relief they brought. Relief of finally being as close as you wanted to be, after pining over each other for so long. “I… I’ll make it up to you,” Sanji mumbled against your lips, guilt still heavy in his chest no matter what you told him. “I promise.”

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

IT WAS ALWAYS HIM. HIM AND THAT cold snappy attitude. he was always on your mind. would he like you? would he accept your confession? all these thoughts swam in your head as you tapped the tip of your mechanical pencil against the clean sheet of paper. finally, you twirled your pencil upright in your hand and started scribbling furiously.

by the time you were done, you checked your alarm clock to find that it was almost midnight. crap, you thought. hope i don't wake up late tomorrow.

licking the edge of your envelope, you sealed it and placed it into your mathmatics book and tucked it away into your backpack for tomorrow morning.

⋆★⋆

"gooooood morning, scara!"

scaramouche braced himself, pausing in his tracks as he waited for your attack. it didn't come. he blinked, taken aback as to why today you hadn't decided to tackle him in your (very-much) public display of affection.

"you seriously need to give up on him. he's made it very clear he's not into you," lumine said as the two of you passed by him, bonking you on the head with her bag.

"ow! okay but seriously-" your voice trailed off as you caught him staring. with a huff, he quickly turned his head away from her and waited for the sound of your voice to move farther away from him.

"they really are ultra gaga and eccentric," ajax said, hefting his school bag over his shoulder as he bumped sides with the shorter male."

"just shut up," scaramouche muttered, pushing past him to go up the stairs to their classroom.

by the time he'd got to his seat, he saw you from the corner of his eye, standing at the side, a few desks away from him, clutching onto a pink envelope.

before you or he could say anything, a blue-haired boy came up from behind you and snatched up the envelope from your grasp.

"well, well, well, what do we have here?"

"give it back, kaeya!" you yelled, lunging for it, but missing by an inch and landing on your stomach onto the surface of a desk. lumine also tried to make a grab for it, but he quickly doged it.

"is this a love letter? for scaramouche?" he sighed dramatically, putting a hand over his face. "god, you really don't know when to quit, do you? it's honestly getting real pathetic watching you try and get close to him, when we both, when we all, know he isn't into you."

those words brought out tears in your ears as you tried another feeble attempt at grabbing the letter from his hands. he simply side-stepped and went towards the teacher's desk, waving around the letter.

"i say i read it out-loud for everyone to hear so we can finally be done and over with this!" kaeya declared, smirking triumphantly when several other people cheered him on. you could only watch, eyes glaring hole into his petty gaze. scaramouche could see your shoulders shaking, either with anger or something else, he couldn't tell.

"give it back, you moron! it's not for you!" you said, standing up and going over to the desk. "you have absolutely no right to make fun of my feelings! just who do you think you are?"

kaeya blinked at you, as if taken aback by what you'd said, but nonetheless, he still tore open the envelope and unfolded the letter.

"let's see what we have here, shall we?" you reached for it again but he raised it up high as he skimmed through the letter with his eyes. he laughed when he was finished, staring at you with those annoying blue eyes of his. "oh my, you seriously put your whole heart into this, didn't you? that'll just make it even more pathetic when he rejects you."

"hey, dude, stop, this isn't cool," ajax interrupted from his desk, standing up. kaeya merely ignored him, flattening out the creases in the paper before reading aloud.

"dear scaramouche. you see, all these attacks that i've done on you is to just show how much that i care about you!" kaeya put his hand on his chest for emphasis, batting his eyeslashes at scaramouche, who glared at him before trying to grab the letter from him as well. kaeya dodged, going down the row of desks as he continued reading.

"you think that nobody cares about you, not even your own friends, but i care about you. so, so much." lumine lunged forward, hands outstretched to rip the paper from the boy's hands. he side-stepped again and lumine landed in a pile on the floor.

"i wrote this letter because i wanted to tell you just how much i love you. you and me, we're practically the same! i'm sure we were meant to be."

finally, scaramouche stomped over and tore the letter out of kaeya's hands, shoving past him, his shoulder bumping against the taller male's.

"rejection time! rejection time! rejection ti-!!" kaeya yelped as you shoved the desk he was kneeling in front of, watching it topple over on its side and crush him down to the ground. "ow- ow- help-" he reached a hand up shakily.

"scaramouche, i-" you turned to face him, but this wasn't scaramouche. this wasn't the normal guy you'd seen him as out of everyone' gaze. his back to you, his hands clenched around the letter slightly, the paper crinkling softly as he did so.

"do you have any idea how much you've embarrassed me just now?" he said quietly, eyebrows furrowing in anger. "you didn't even bother considering my feelings, did you? of course not." his fist closed tighter and tighter around the paper.

"i-i'm sorry, i just- you and me, we're a lot alike than you think and- i understand your problems-"

"shut up. shut up, shut up, shut up!" he turned around, his violet eyes now filled with anger and bitterness when they used to be full of serenity and peace. "you will never understand me! you don't even know me!" scaramouche crunched your letter into a ball, squeezing it tigher and tighter in his fist. "everyone just heard that. everyone. i can't believe you did that to me. i really hate pushy people like you." as he said that he uncrinkled the letter and ripped it in half, letting go of the two halves and watching the pieces of paper flutter to the ground. "i hate you. so, so, much."

"w-wha-?"

"didn't you just hear me? i said i hate you!"

a few moments of silence passed, and scaramouche's shoulders, which were shaking with anger, finally relaxed a bit.

"oh. i see then." he turned around to face you, mouth open, most likely ready to yell at you again, but he faltered, eyes widening slightly. you smiled at him, lips quivering as you did so, tears pooling in your eyes. "you hate me that much, huh?"

"y/n, i-" he seemed at a loss of words, which was pretty ironic since he was literally just telling you off a few minutes ago.

"w-well, that's just too bad, isn't it?" you mumbled, mostly to yourself. turning on your heel you slowly staggered down the rows of desks before breaking out the door and running, your shoes slapping loudly against the tile floors.

"y/n! wait up!" lumine ran after you, but not before stomping on kaeya's hand in the process. "die, you idiot!"

scaramouche stared at the doorway of the classroom where you once were standing and then down to the pieces of your letter. from the two halves, he made out three words: i love you!

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