#gender tips

1. Find parts of your body which make you less dysphoric or more euphoric. For example, the flat space between your chest lumps or your lips. Focus on these parts of yourself.

2. Dress in baggy clothing. This way you can't see yourself and you can't see parts or the lack of parts that cause you discomfort.

3. Make a 'dysphoria playlist' of songs which make you feel less dysphoric, more euphoric or distract you. Focus on the lyrics and music. Or get up and dance to the songs, if you can.

4. Wear gender affirming clothes. They don't have to 'match' your gender, they can be whatever you like. If you can't wear what you want because of others, try wearing affirming underwear. Try boxers or a sports bra.

5. Find temporary ways to change your body. This might include packing, tucking, binding, stuffing a bra, ect. There are items you can purchase for these things, or homemade ways (although if you go the homemade route make sure to check for safe ways and don't do anything dangerous).

6. Try makeup. You can try masc or fem contouring. You can cover facial hair or make facial hair. You can try heaps of stuff. And if you are worried about someone seeing and want to feel more fem, chapstick or lip balm is an option.

7. Draw yourself how you want to be. This could be in any way (digital, traditional, or even using a character maker). You can add the hair you want, change your body parts, add clothing, ect.

8. Write something about yourself. Use your correct pronouns and name(s), and write anything from a sentence to a whole story. You can also write your life how you wish it was.

9. Try to show pride in yourself. This can be subtle (for example, look up 'subtle {identity} wallpaper' and use that as a phone background or draw your pride flag(s) and keep it in your wallet or a notebook) or more obvious (for example, buy a pride flag and hang it up).

10. Watch content by other trans folk. This can distract you and also allow you to imagine a future where you can be yourself (if you can't at the moment). Try looking on youtube for creators who are the same or a similar gender, if you want.

so from what im hearing, this sounds like genderfluid? being a femboy is more about gender presentation, so if you feel like a boy and a girl at the same time, you could be bigender... if you also feel nb, you could be trigender (like me haha)... 

knockers boxer briefs is exclusively what I wear and it's possible that you could get your mom to let you wear those, tbh I don't know many people that ACTUALLY wear regular boxers, and they fit and are made in a way that should fit a pad. like I genuinely cannot stress enough i don't know very many people who actually wear boxers. (I looked this up just now and only 11% of men wear boxers actually)

alternatively, if it's easier, look for and get 'boyshorts' style underwear from the women's section when in a store and get those. they're on the left here and the knockers are on the right, they're almost functionally and aesthetically identical

What kind of tips? 

Honestly, just be yourself. If you’re still unsure who that is, that is totally fine!!! Don’t make any sort of change to yourself; style, how you talk or act, etc.; for ANYONE other than you. Try different trends. You obviously don’t have to if you don’t want to. Just dress comfortably, and by that I don’t just mean physically comfortable. I mean you have to feel good mentally in what you’re wearing. Everyone’s different, so I can’t really tell you what type of clothes to look for. 

Don’t over think anything. There’s really no set guidelines to being yourself. Honestly. I don’t have any sort of special wardrobe or anything. Most of my clothes are street attire and button-ups for interviews. 

Don’t be afraid of going to public bathrooms. Oh my god. Literally, if you have this anxiety, like I do, just go with the one you’re dressed as or find a family bathroom. I don’t know how to put this in.. non-sexist terms? So like, IN MY EXPERIENCE, some bathrooms here have different etiquette to follow, kinda? Depending on where I am, people may or may not do a double take. Don’t fret. Keep your head high and go straight to the stall. Don’t worry about anyone else. If someone makes a comment, I personally, don’t really reply unless I’m confident enough. I’ve had grown-ass men walk in to a bathroom, look at me, and walk out to check the sign on the door. They’d make the remark “Oh man, dude. You made me think I went in to the wrong one.” I just laughed it off. Sometimes reply “yeah, I get that a lot.” or “it’s because I’m pretty, isn’t it?” in a joking manner. If I’m feeling cocky. Haha. 

A lot of people have trouble figuring out their gender, especially if it’s outside the male/female starter binary, and that’s fine! There’s nothing wrong with going through a few different genders just to test them out. There’s also nothing wrong with always switching genders, even if you spend years leveling as one, just to change around every few months or whatever. Most people choose one “main” gender, though there are a few people [like myself!] that love the versatility of leveling a ton of alts. That being said, here’s a few tips on gender selection, for the most popular advanced genders:

Agender: Going agender might seem like a bad idea because you don’t get any particular strengths, but it also grants a movement speed boost and a bonus to all resistances. Some agender people like to pick up the Gendered Presentation perk -- it lets you equip gender presentations as needed for extra versatility. Check it out if interested.

Bi/Tri/Dual/Pangender: Dual-wielding or multi-wielding genders seems like the obvious upgrade to just one gender, because you get to use any gear and do almost double damage! The downside isn’t just the extra elemental vulnerability, however... it’s also skill-intensive to balance properly between your genders sometimes, which can lead to issues down the road if you have trouble staying rounded out. If that’s the case, you might want to try...

Genderfluid: It seems kind of weird to have a rhythm-based gender at first, but once you get used to it, being genderfluid feels very intuitive to grasp. It’s neat because gender shifts different for everyone: nearby enemies, physical location, internal clock, etc. It’s fun, but it can get exhausting at times, especially with a poorly-timed shift in the middle of battle. But if you’re good at multiple different playstyles and wish you could do all of them (but not all at once, like above) this is the one for you.

Demigender: A lot of people ask me sometimes why they haven’t unlocked their advanced gender yet despite doing the questline for one, when in reality they’ve already been leveling as one! Demigirl/Demiguy... more like DemiGOD, honestly. You get full bonuses to gender presentation and have all the pronoun glyphs available, but with agender elemental resistances too! The main weakness is it’ll block you out from other genders, but you can always respec as needed.