"Sometimes I can't tell if motherhood has made me more understanding or more judgmental."
A MOMENT OF ALL TIME! McKay and Al-Hashimi having this conversation. Dana listening. Three moms who work in healthcare who've seen some stuff, and it's a scene explicitly about that, but they aren't like performing a *type* of mom, they aren't wine moms or mama bears or moms kickin' back or moms helicoptering in. If anything, they're moms who work in healthcare, but they just get this moment to exist in relation to themselves and their distinct experiences and I loved it!
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Prompt: 90s et Ā Eddie Munson | Rating: T | WC: 1239 | Relationships : Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Corroded Coffin&Eddie Munson Tags: Rock star Eddie Munson, interview, coming out
Summary:
After five albums and two tours, Corroded Coffin has made it. They're famous, they're beloved, and everyone want to interview the new metal phenomenon.
But now a groupie is telling everyone she's pregnant with Eddie's child.
You can't blame the guy for losing it on live TV.
The interview had barely started, and Eddie was already losing it. Corroded Coffin had made it; they were releasing album after album and everyone in the metal scene fucking loved their music. They should be talking about songwriting, their inspirations, the difficulties they had with some songs, their last album or if they were planning to go on tour soon. But no. Eddie had been on the cover of so many tabloids these last months, and, of course, that dumb excuse of a reporter had to bypass their managerās demands and talk about the Rumor.*
āNow, we all heard the story, Eddie.ā The interviewer had a smarmy smile plastered on his face, and the way he looked at Eddie was almost predatory. āSo tell me, when did you first cross paths with Jessica Marsh? It must have been at a meet-and-greet, no?ā
Ā The question brought a wave of anger amongst the members of the band.
āListen,ā Eddie hissed, āfor the last time, I donāt know that girl, okay? If we did meet at some point, I have no memory of it, and her whole story is just a bunch of lies.ā
āThatās understandable. You must see a lot of different people when you tour, and youāre bound to forget a few faces, even those you gotĀ reallyĀ acquainted with, am I right?ā
Gareth intervened. āDude, youāre pushing it. Can we get back to the album?ā
āOf course weāre gonna talk about the album, donāt worry, we are all very excited about the new music Corroded Coffin is going to offer us. With a name likeĀ Thou shalt not kill, I can already say itās going to offend a good number of people!ā
āWe donāt really care if we offend people or not,ā Jeff answered. āThou shalt not killĀ is an accusation, a way of fighting back against all the people who had tried to take us down, to silence us. To make us disappear. We open up a lot about our teenage years in a small-minded town in the middle of nowhere, and everything we had to go through growing up. This is not a nice album, because our lives werenātĀ niceĀ back then, and if people are offended, Iām telling you, they are part of the problem.ā
āWell, your new album sounds even more interesting! I think we all agree here that your fans are going to love learning more about your past, and how you ended up where you are.ā The interviewer stopped for a second, a predatory glint in his eyes. āBut I have to wonder, Eddie, you are the one doing most of the writing, right? Surely the news of your impending fatherhood must have had an influence on your creative mind?ā
āFuck, what do you want me to do?ā Eddie stood up, arms flying in the air. āShould I scream it, sing it, sign it? Do you want me to draw a goddamn diagram? What will make you understand? I did not sleep with that Jessica girl, and sheās definitely not pregnant with my child.ā He plopped down on his seat, seemingly exhausted by the accusation and his own answer. āIām not the father, period.ā
It was not enough to stop the man in front of him.
āSurely, with all the groupies throwing themselves at you, you could have slept with her and forgotten about it.ā
Eddie buried his face in his hands and took a few deep breaths. Then, he hit the table three times with his open palm. āRob Halford.ā
Jeff immediately threw himself backward on his chair. āFucking finally!ā He almost screamed before knocking on the table in response.
Gareth pumped his fist, Freak nodded, and both did the same knock.
The interviewer looked at them with a questioning look.
āWhat is happening?ā he asked. āAre you having a little discussion in code? Do you have secret Corroded Coffin informations the fans should know about? A collaboration with Rob Halford, maybe?ā
āFunny how youāre coming back to relevant topics now,ā Eddie replied, disdain clear on his face. āNo, we donāt have a collaboration planned with him, even if it would be fucking metal to work with the man. But if you want to gossip instead of talking about your music, yeah, I have something to say. Nothing everyone is entitled to know, because thatās my personal life, but clearly no one is going to drop this stupid rumor, and Iām tired of it. Do you want to know why MissĀ Marshās accusations are ridiculous?ā
āOh yeah, please, tell us everything!ā
āPeople keep saying Iām lying about not sleeping with that girl, either because I donāt want to take responsibility for my actions or because I fucked so many groupies I donāt even remember it.ā Eddie leaned over the table, his eyes staring holes in the man interviewing them. āBut you know what the truth is? I never slept with any of these girls who are throwing themselves at me at the end of every concert.āĀ
āThatās not what I heard!ā
āYeah, well, reputations donāt always portray reality. I donāt sleep with groupies, I donāt sleep with journalists who want to gain information, I donāt sleep with hotel employees, waiters, bartenders, flight attendants or random people I meet on tour or at the grocery store. Do I have a healthy and fulfilling sex life? Yes. Do I have a list of hookups longer than the Lord of the Ring trilogy? No. Iāve been consistently fucking the same person, thank you very much.ā
āYou mean the famously single Eddie Munson is finally taken? Perish the thought! Your poor fans are gonna be devastated! How long has it been going on? Longer than six months? Which is, for the reminder, dear spectators, when Jessica Marsh says she has slept with our darling Eddie and fell pregnant.ā
āItās been years man. And no, I never cheated. In fact, Iām still dating the person I lost my virginity with, and Iām never planning on seeing anyone else. And last I checked, which wasā¦ā Eddie briefly looked at his watch, āForty-eight minutes ago, my man does not have the necessary equipment to fall pregnant.āĀ
The journalist choked on his spit. āExcuse me? YourĀ man?ā
āYes, my man. Cause Iām a goddam fag.ā Eddieās smile was all teeth. āYou donāt like it? Deal with it, I donāt give a shit. Steve and I, weāve been together since ā86. He gave me the inspiration for a lot of song lyrics, but most of the time I had to change the pronouns so my label would accept them.ā His violent smile disappeared, leaving only tiredness behind. āMost of them still only exist on paper because being gay is apparently a crime in the music industry and my producer would not let me make a whole album about Stevie.ā
Eddie buried his face in his hand and took a deep breath.
āWell,ā the journalist said, āthatās not quite what we were all expecting from this interview.ā He cleared his throat. āSo, about that new album of yoursā¦ā
Freakās laugh interrupted him.
āMan, you really think weāre gonna answer your questions after all that bullshit. Nah, this interview is over.ā He jumped to his feet, followed by two of his bandmates. āWeāre leaving.ā
Gareth tugged on Eddieās arm until he stood up with them.
The last image the journalist got of Corroded Coffin was Freakās raised middle finger as they walked out.
For the last day of Transmasc Eddie Week @genderthings | Prompt: Wayne
G | 409 | Eddie&Wayne | cw: misgendering | Transmasc Eddie, supportive Wayne | Ao3
Wayne has been a great uncle, supportive of Eddie's weirdness even if he didn't fully understand it. Even if he keeps falling back on referring to him by name to avoid using any pronouns.
Sometimes Eddie feels like he's just patiently waiting for him to change his mind. To go back to being his unproblematic niece.Ā
Eddie hopes it will grow on him instead and Wayne will see him as his nephew one day. Maybe once he chops off his tits and grows a beard. For now he's just grateful for not being called a girl.Ā
At home at least.
By the time the officer walks him to the trailer, he's been called a young lady enough times for his eyes to start welling up.Ā
He's not sure if he wants Wayne to be home or not, but feels relieved when he opens up after the officer's harsh knock.Ā
"Mornin', Wayne. Found your niece selling drugs behind a bar."
Niece. Eddie sets his mouth into a thin line and refuses to show the hurt.Ā
Wayne on the other hand, doesn't have such qualms. His face turns stormy as his eyes set on Eddie.Ā
"What?"
"I like you, Wayne, and I know you're new to the parenting thing. So I'll let her go with a warning. But I won't be so nice the second time."
Wayne nods, his mood not changing. "Appreciate it, chief."
They shake hands and the officer motions at Eddie to go inside.
"I better not see you out there again."
"You won't," Wayne assures him, since Eddie pushes into the trailer without a word.Ā
The door slams shut behind him and he'sĀ determined to make it to his room until Wayne's angry voice reaches his ears.Ā
"Son."Ā
Eddie freezes with his hand on the doorknob.Ā
"I'm very disappointedā"
"You called me 'son'."
Silence settles between them, with Eddie too ashamed of his tears and too scared of what he will see on his uncle's face to turn around.
Eventually, Wayne clears his throat.Ā
"Well, you are my son now, and I don' want you following your father's footsteps. This is not what being a man is about."
Slowly, with his head down, Eddie turns and walks straight into his uncle's chest.Ā
"Call me 'son' again and I won't even touch alcohol," he jokes in a snotty voice.Ā
"Hell nah, son," Wayne snorts, giving him a slightly awkward hug that Eddie immediately returns. "We're having a beer."Ā
The āLGBTQ+ is a social contagionā theory from cishet people is soooo funny to me like youāre telling me heterosexuality is SO ingrained and SO watertight and yet SO fragile that if your kid so much as picks up a fucking Steam Powered Giraffe album theyāll turn into raging queer? Do you HEAR yourselves?????
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Hey, I was looking at old reblogs and came across your post about how as a trans man you were feeling unusually lonely (for complex reasons you explored in the post (which is always a great read btw)) and wanted to check in.
I don't expect you to have just... figured out a solution to this or anything. I just wanted to check up on how you've been doing, if the feeling has faded in any way (or otherwise become routine, which would be sad news)
Thank you for asking. Iāve been sitting on this question for a bit because, unfortunately, the lonelinessĀ hasĀ become routine, and chronic.
But I couldnāt tell you how much of it is strictly due to being a man since there are a lot of other factors involved:
I moved to a new state where I donāt know many people.
This is the first time Iām interacting with the world as myself since I was a kid, and Iāve been very slow to open up due to how new and taboo it feels.
Iām struggling to put my life in order after giving up who I used to be, so as much as I want to go out there and make friends, I feel really unfit to do so at the moment...
Post-pandemic socialization is just kind of a weird bag, man. Idk.
However, IĀ doĀ think the fact I read as a Cishet Straight White Guyā¢ makes overcoming these things harder. People seem to offer much less emotional support compared to when I was perceived as a woman, so Iāve had to be my own source of encouragement with it all.
Now, IĀ couldĀ easily get around this barrier by telling people Iām trans, but I donāt like doing this because a) I donāt want to out myself, and b) not everyone is normal about learning Iām trans. And Iām not just talking about transphobes; trans allies and queer folks also get weird about it.
Allies generally have their hearts in the right place, but many of them interpret ātrans manā and ācis manā as two different genders (theyāre not), and will often subconsciously treat me as something other thanĀ maleĀ when they learn Iām trans. This forfeits all that Iāve done to be perceived as myself.
As for queer people, Iāve met a bizarre number of them who seem to think Iām magically polygamous, pansexual, and interested in fucking them and their partners simply because Iām trans. Not only is this a bold assumption to make about my sexual and romantic preferences (IāmĀ extremelyĀ monogamous, gray-asexual, and selectively biromantic), itās frankly rather objectifying.
So Iām really disincentivized to tell people Iām trans unless itās clear I can trust them to be normal about it.
But I've yet to discover a solution that doesn't involve outing myself. Iām wondering if dressing in a more gender-nonconforming way would help, but I think my real problem is a confidence issue. The men I felt safe approaching in the past were ones who were comfortable with themselves and who put others at ease with their presence. Itās hard for me to put others at ease when I donāt feel at ease myself. I need to get to a point where Iām not struggling so much in order to do this, and I think thatāll just come with time.
(It would be easier if I wasnāt feeling so lonely...but here we are.)
