reposting this from sabre (@bottleneckloser on insta)

Jellyfish

That low-poly bird

hi!!

so like.... first off i wanna say that passing is a bullshit concept. i totally understand why you wanna pass better-- it’s a matter of comfort, if not outright safety-- but i don’t think you should feel the need to completely reinvent yourself just for the sake of cis people, either.

that said, i don’t have to worry much about passing anymore-- i retrained myself in middle/high school, and i’ve always been blessed with a very masculine face and voice. but here are some of the things i did when i was first trying to pass better!

binding is obviously a big help, especially if you have a bigger chest to start out with, but i know this isn’t always an option if you’re tight on money or afraid of your parents/guardians finding it. if you’re able to get a binder and you don’t have one already, i recommend gc2b-- their products are VERY comfortable and robust, so just getting one of them can last you for quite awhile.

kind of on that note, packing is an option? but it’s not personally one that i’ve pursued much, mostly because i think it’s more trouble than it’s worth. maybe you’ll find it helpful though! packers can get REALLY expensive, especially if they’re also STPs, so whenever i feel like packing i generally just ball up some of my socks and safety-pin them into my boxers. you gotta be careful when doing this though because if you don’t roll your socks or pin them right it can look like you have a boner which, while it might help you pass, probably isn’t what you want

packing can also help you adjust your walk and sitting position to something a little more traditionally masculine. most guys tend to walk with their legs a little further apart to accommodate for their dicks, so you might try doing that, or turning your feet outwards a little more. if you like to cross your legs when you sit, try resting one ankle on your other knee instead of completely crossing your legs. (if you’re packing, crossing your whole leg gets really uncomfortable anyway, which shows you why most cis guys don’t generally sit like that)

when you’re standing, keep your legs open and your stance wider, about shoulder-width apart. it may feel/look weird at first, but just like everything else on this list, you’ll adjust to it eventually!

if you don’t already, you can also try pitching your voice down. i don’t have any links or tutorials on hand, but i know there’s a bunch out there! if you keep your voice down in your chest, it sounds a little deeper, which can help you pass sometimes. just be careful not to go overboard with it, you don’t wanna sound silly

this is literally the MOST random esoteric thing that i’ve ever noticed, but a lot of cis guys tend to walk with the palms of their hands facing backwards, while a lot of cis girls walk with their palms facing their sides. it’s very subtle, maybe so subtle that you don’t feel like messing with it (which is fine!), but it is a change you can make that might help you pass more. i think maybe turning your palms backwards also makes your shoulders appear a little wider, which can also help!

don’t be rude about it, but cis guys tend to take up a lot of space, so you might try sprawling out a little more in your general movements and day-to-day life. like i said, though, don’t be rude-- passing isn’t worth costing someone a comfortable seat on the bus.

finally-- and i admit that this probably won’t work if you have a very curvy build-- if you sag your pants just enough that they fit to the widest part of your hips instead of your natural waistline, that can help hide the shape of your hips. couple this with long shirts (but not too long) or layers for added effect!

these people fetishize male femininity, they want to be like the male characters in this genre. The reason is always the same. They see trans women as men who wear dresses

i'm actually an asian studies major with a focus on japan, and i took a class on youth culture, so i'm not unfamiliar with this.

firstly, let's not let it get away from us that the term "fetish" when discussing gender identity is common transphobic rhetoric. taking the side of trans women does not let you escape this.

while i think a fixation with male femininity does not encapsulate everyone's reasons for identifying in such a way, it feels accurate for a certain subset. i've seen certain explanations that lead me towards that understanding.

the connection to BL is, in my mind, a bit spurious, but i understand how you arrived at that. i would definitely characterize BL fans as having that fixation. additionally, i would say they have a fixation with the homoerotic, but one which still allows them to maintain the integrity of their sexuality. the BL fan is able to enjoy the taboo of queer sexuality while avoiding it "tainting" their self-understanding, as their heterosexuality means they ought to be attracted to both characters involved. trying to map that understanding onto the AFAB trans woman feels difficult, to say the least. they can enjoy the taboo of queer gender without it "tainting" their femininity, maybe? i don't really see it.

when i look at my feelings on the matter reductively, it does feel like they are seeing trans women as men in dresses. looking past that, however, it feels more like trans women are positioned as people who resist masculinity by embracing femininity. the trans woman is treated as though her masculinity is stuck to her - to have had the experience of masculinity marks her as aberrant - and it must be actively shirked, even atoned for. for someone raised under the expectation of femininity, to resist their own masculinity is not as radical an action.

however, in the context of patriarchal gender norms and liberal feminism, resisting masculinity in general is an end in and of itself, and perhaps that battle is applied internally as well. (i would also like to note that resisting masculinity and its supposedly predatory and oppressive nature was, rather famously, among michfest's justifications for excluding trans women. figuring out the exact way this connects to my previous point is left as an exercise for the reader.) for the transmasc AFAB trans woman in particular, which is an extant category, it may become an exercise in denying the privilege of masculinity they have obtained. (see michfest again, and its willingness to allow trans men.) trans women, in this sense, become a potent image - people whose masculinity is stuck to them, but who sacrifice the privilege it brings.

to me, the AFAB people i understand identifying as trans women - and i use that phrasing intentionally - have, for one reason or another, had that experience of being excluded from femininity or expected to perform masculinity. (i've seen the most reasonable takes come from intersex trans women, which should be no surprise.) i have seen them express resentment at the idea of identifying as an "AFAB trans woman" in specific, as their life experiences have already laid bare the arbitrary nature of birth assignment.

You take their explicit narratives about their transfem identity at face value, when they are really made for public-image reasons—to make their motivations appear more acceptable to us. It might be true that some claim that identity also because they felt excluded from femininity, but that's just a secondary, tertiary reason, *not* the main one. Without that main reason, they wouldn't identify as such. So it's not just a subset, because most of these 'AFAB transfems' really identify that way mainly because they are attracted to male femininity. You might feel that it's 'just a subgroup, not the majority' that is motivated by this because they are not overtly, loudly showcasing their attraction to male femininity. It's far more discreet, but it's nonetheless the reason

The BL connection is that they want to be trans women for the same reasons they want to be BL characters—they want to free themselves from female constraints. They see female femininity as a burden, a chore, bland, unappealing, as stripping away part of their personhood. They find conventional male masculinity unappealing as well, but for different reasons. It’s about rejecting gender nonconformity and embracing what they’re attracted to—their idealized version of what they wish men should be—androgyous, beautiful males, which allow them to explore femininity, masculinity, sexuality and all sorts of things from that appealing, personified perspective. It goes deeper than this.

So in short most afab transfems want to be transfem bc they find male femininity attractive, bc they want to (re)explore femininity from a male perspective.

this part parses:

"They see female femininity as a burden, a chore, bland, unappealing, as stripping away part of their personhood. They find conventional male masculinity unappealing as well, but for different reasons."

but the rest reads like a villain monologue, especially:

"... they are really made for public-image reasons- to make their motivations appear more acceptable to us."

same shit terfs say about trans women!!

I think you might be deeper down the rabbit hole on this than me. a cautionary tale about where I don't want to be! so thanks!

"So in short most afab transfems want to be transfem bc they find male femininity attractive, bc they want to (re)explore femininity from a male perspective."