Learning Shit with David Rees
I had a reasonably average high school education and graduated in 2004. I do a mild to moderate amount of reading on scientific stuff over the course of my daily internet use. I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person, and people who know me feel the same way. I still learned at least one thing from each episode of the show. Here, let me list them.
How to Make an Ice Cube: I never even thought about making clear ice cubes, so that was a learning experience. I didn’t know ancient ice cores were a thing.
How to Tie Your Shoes: I didn’t know how to reliably make a strong, parallel knot. I didn’t know people used paracord as shoelaces. I didn’t know you could change how you laced your shoes depending on what you were doing/how you were using them.
How to Dig a Hole: I didn’t know the difference between a spade and a shovel. I didn’t know people could argue so passionately about the definition of a hole.
How to Flip a Coin: I didn’t know you could train yourself to get the same result every time. I didn’t even think about the cool sound coin flipping sometimes makes. I didn’t realize the lotto ball machines were one of the few (only?) truly random things, or that achieving true randomness was so difficult. There are methods and patterns to everything!
How to Open a Door: I didn’t realize a robot would have such a hard time opening a refrigerator. If you see the hinge’s barrel, pull the door; otherwise, push it. If there are two doors, open the one with the lock and/or logo on it. The second part was a useful revelation, because I used the wrong door practically every fucking time I encountered a door like that. I now know how to use a revolving door, even though I rarely encounter them.
How to Swat a Fly: I’m having a hard time remembering what I did and didn’t know about this episode. I only watched it once because I got to the part with the maggots in dirt and hit ‘stop’ a few times before I went ahead and watched it through. I think the reason flyswatters have holes (they’re harder to ‘feel’ coming than a solid object) was new information to me. Probably some other stuff too, but my memory’s terrible.
How to Throw a Paper Airplane: Uhh. Everything?? I’d never made a working paper airplane in my life. I didn’t know bone folders were a thing. I remembered learning about lift/how flying works in school, but apparently needed a refresher, because I hadn’t thought about it in years. Probably more stuff. A+ episode.
How to Light a Match: I didn’t realize you needed to strike a match at a certain angle for it to ignite reliably. I didn’t realize fire moved in a predictable pattern. I don’t remember what else.
How to Climb a Tree: Pooters. A few personal facts about David’s life. Those tree-climbing techniques were crazy. Probably more.
How to Shake Hands: I didn’t know most people step/lean in. I didn’t know about the amygdala stuff. I didn’t know hand models were used anywhere other than commercials.
How to Pet a Dog: I didn’t know tail-wagging indicated attentiveness, not friendliness/happiness. I didn’t know dogs were the only animals that realized that, when you point at something, you’re directing their attention to it. I don’t even want to tell you how much of my life was wasted trying to get my cats to look at something I was pointing to. I didn’t know David could make a totally awesome papier mache dog and write a song about it.
How to Eavesdrop: I didn’t know impacted wax looked like a fucking golden raisin. Good lord.I didn’t know standing by a wall might make you hear distant conversations better. I don’t think I was 100% clear on how a stethoscope works.
How to Get Punched: I didn’t know getting punched in the liver would put you down hard. I didn’t know relaxing when you’re about to get hit was a good idea. I don’t think I totally grasped the utility of a fist relative to an open palm until David possibly broke his hand slapping a heavy bag (how’s that going?).
How to Bounce a Ball: Another episode that I apparently need to rewatch because I remember very little about it. I think learning how/why ball bouncing can get erratic was new. Also, the different uses of solid and hollow balls. Wasn’t there some argument about what constitutes a bounce, too, similar to the hole argument?
How to Sign Your Name: Yeah, this is another one that needs a rewatch. Lord. My memory! I didn’t think about a signature being a representation of yourself (although it seems so obvious now). I didn’t realize “David Rees” was such an old and common name (though this is something google was able to teach me, too). I didn’t know about putting the cap on the back of a pen to change its weight (I just thought people did that so they didn’t lose it). Probably more.
EDIT: Rewatched this. I didn’t want to admit this when I first made this post because it makes me look really uncultured, but I didn’t know what the golden ratio was until I saw this episode. I also didn’t know that they didn’t teach cursive in school anymore. I know what a ‘throw up’ is relative to graffiti. I didn’t know a person simply adding an h to their signature could make me laugh so hard. I didn’t know that, if you tell someone it’s OK to write your signature, it’s not a forgery. Throughout my esteemed retail career, I judged the fuck out of every parent I saw allowing their child to sign their name. “You’re teaching them a crime!” etc.. Uh, whoops. Thank God my desire to remain employed prevented me from saying such things aloud and proving myself foolish.
How to Take a Nap: I didn’t know different lengths of naps served different purposes. I think I’d forgotten most of the sleep stages. I didn’t know you should consciously relax your body, toe to head, to distract your brain from whatever the hell you’re keeping yourself up about. I didn’t realize dreams about not wearing pants in public were so common (I have them a lot).
How to Make Toast: I didn’t know what old toasters looked like. I didn’t know how to make dry vs. chewy toast. I didn’t appreciate what toasting actually was, from a scientific perspective.
How to Do the Dishes: I didn’t know about the NASA clean room. I didn’t know natural sponges were basically [exo]skeletons, or that there were so many varieties. I didn’t know much about barnacles or how to pry them off. I didn’t realize I wanted a double sink.
I thought this would be a fun/interesting exercise, and I had an OK time doing it. I should probably do other things now, though.
Conclusion: goddamn, there needs to be a third season of this show. If Esquire doesn’t renew it and another channel doesn’t pick it up, we can do a Kickstarter to keep it going as a webseries, right? Right!? This is one of those shows that most people really enjoy when they actually watch it (at least, the imdb rating is pretty high), but a. not a lot of people know about it and b. a lot of people don’t even give it a chance. So I think a Kickstarter could be successful with strong enough promotion.