#gargles

STOBOTNIKKKKK STOBOTNBIJKKKKKKK RAGGFVHCHHHHH jumps around jumps around jumps so high

I hated the last episode posted! He was fully out of character, yelling and digging into listeners past? No. So elaborating on that: Xanthus deadnaming you. Traveling to a whole new place, isolating yourself into work for a man who’s too anxious to fully love you. Controlled only by fear. Then hearing the name you escaped past from his mouth would be the final blow. Not that I believe that listeners had that silly backstory given, but that there are listeners like me who use different names. Him canonically digging into your past to find your legal name, using it on you once he finally found it, as if he hadn't told you his. Absolutely spiraling. You had given everything up for that man. Also, I know that (stupid) Saku makes up the lore as it is continued, yet still Xanthus lying to you. Him telling you in the early episodes that he had never turned anyone, yet finding out in the later ones he had. That he had made the bond and wants to break it. That he had never wanted the relationship but dragged you into a millennium long war. Your life is on the line for a boy so scared of his mistakes he lied to evade them. Brushing off your feelings, you’re not sleeping alone, I didn’t want this. The bond was a mistake, your creation was a mistake, I made a mistake.

(≧∀≦) I’m so very very deluded !!