Bountiful harvest of tomatoes.

Saint Dorothy

Died 311

Feast Day: February 6

Patronage: horticulture; brewers; brides; florists; gardeners; midwives; newlyweds; love

Saint Dorothy lived in Caesarea (Turkey) during the Diocletian persecution of Christians. Legend has it, that she was ordered to sacrifice to the pagan gods and refused. On the way to her execution, a young lawyer, Theophilus, mockingly asked her for “fruits and flowers from the garden” in which she proclaimed was in heaven. A basket of fruit and flowers was delivered to her by an angel which she gave to young Theophilus, who then converted and was also martyred. That’s why she’s the patron saint of florists.

Last year I buried carrot seeds in a giant plant pot. Carrot seeds. Nothing came up. I pretty much thought it was dead.

This year, I went to plant new things – I had carrots growing in smaller pots that I was going to transfer. But because it had sat for a year without being touched, there were a whole bunch of weeds inside this plant pot. As expected.

So I put my little gardening gloves on and I go to pluck out weeds. Happily discover, quite a few of the weeds are actually carrot tops. Fantastic! Unexpected carrots.

But there’s a bigger unexpected, and this is why I need to plant people help.

I discovered quickly that the “weed I had come to pluck was in fact a giant Scottish thistle.

A Scottish thistle that I 100% have never planted.

(Internet says it’s a Scottish thistle, but who the hell knows because the Internet lies. As we all know) but I know it ain’t no carrot.

But here’s the thing? There is not another thistle in sight. No thistles. Not a single thistle. Literally the last time I saw a thistle was when I lived in Scotland. Which is why I had to look this up, because I was sure it couldn’t possibly be a thistle because… Do carrots turn into thistles now? I’m not a genius… But I didn’t think carrots and this was related.

And yet somehow, this giant fucking Scottish thistle somehow came up and took over the whole thing.

This is the biggest thistle I’ve ever seen – especially having come from carrot seeds.

This fucker is taller than I am. Which means very little, actually because I’m about 150 something. That’s not the point. Point is, giant thistle from carrot seeds.

I’m sure plant people out there have seen bigger. I, as a novice, have never seen a thistle is big.

Especially an unintended thistle.

I decided not to pluck said giant thistle for two reasons. Firstly, the Internet says that it’s good for pollinators. Secondly, my gloves are shite. And my hands are absolutely covered in thistle bits.